CHAPTER 12

Katniss didn't stay asleep for long. She started calling for Prim, and Peeta instantly woke her up. Shaking her roughly to wake her from the nightmares. "Katniss wake up. Prim's alive Katniss. She's at home. Katniss wake up." he told her. She sat up, screaming and looking around. He grabbed her face and made her focus on him. "Katniss it's me. I'm right here. Your safe." he told her. She looked around his room.

"I don't want to lay here anymore. I don't want to go back to sleep." she told him. He nodded his head.

"Alright that's fine. Let's go to the back of the train where the window is." he told her. She nodded and he held her hand, leading them to the back of the train. Dinner would start getting served soon. As he sat down, she cuddled closed to him in his arms. It was starting to get dark. The sun looked beautiful. "Prim's alive you know. And she's waiting for you. You'll see her tomorrow." he told her.

"And I'll have to let you go." she cried. Peeta moved her to face him.

"Katniss I need to know you'll keep your promise. That you'll do better, that you'll listen to what Haymitch told you to do. I know this is gonna be hard. Staying away form each other for six months. I'm going through the same thing you are. But I need to know that you'll really listen to what he tells you. I need to know that your going to be ok. I won't be far away. I'll be next door. But it's only six months. And if you ever really truly need me, we'll figure out where to go to meet up. We'll find ways around Snow. But promise me you won't..." he trailed off. Gulping.

"That I won't what?" she asked.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself again." he said quietly. One thing about having all the cameras on them for 16 days in the arena, was that they couldn't talk about what happened, about her killing herself. Katniss didn't say anything. She pulled away from him and stood up.

"I don't want to talk about that." she said. She had done so well. She had let him in, told him what her feelings were. But he could already feel it. She was starting to shut down. He stood behind her.

"I need to know that when I can't be with you, that your going to be ok. You have Prim. She's not dead Katniss. Rely on her when you feel sad. Don't let it consume you." Peeta told her.

"I won't." she gritted out. He slowly made her turn around and face him.

"Will getting angry at me make you feel better about separating tomorrow?" he asked her. She just stared at him, and he let out a sigh. "If it makes you feel better then I'm fine with that. But I just need to know that you'll be ok Katniss." he said. She looked away.

"Like you said, I'll have Prim." she told him. Effie interrupted them for dinner. As soon as it was over, Peeta led her back down to his room, and into his bed. She changed into one of his shirts and shorts. Well, they really weren't his, they were just what the Capitol wanted him to wear while he was on the train. She slept with her head pressed to his chest, and felt her crying. He knew that there was nothing left for him to say. They would be separated tomorrow, and there wasn't a damn thing either of them could do about it. Breakfast was a quiet affair. No one wanting to talk. He reached over and grabbed Katniss' hand in his. She leaned her other arm on the table and covered her face.

"You did great sweetheart." Haymitch reminded her. She looked up at him, then to Peeta, and back at him. Haymitch mouthed I'm sorry to her.

"Your whole families will be at the train station waiting for you. I'm so sorry to see you go. Write down anything you both can think of that you want. I promise to get my Victor's anything you may want." Effie reminded them, handing them pens and paper. Katniss wrote nothing on the paper. But Peeta had much to write. He knew he wanted to stay busy these next six months. Just baking in his home would never keep him busy enough to not run up to Katniss' house, throw open the door and kiss her senseless. He needed other things to keep him busy. As they pulled into the train station, Katniss started crying, and Peeta pulled her to his chest.

"Please don't cry. Everything will be ok. We'll be ok. I just need you to stay strong. This isn't like last time. I'm really here. I'm safe, and I'm right next door. And Prim is alive. And your mom is here. Please I just need to know you'll be ok." he whispered in her ear. She pulled back and stared at him.

"I just got you back." she whispered. He kissed her and wiped her tears.

"I know. And I'm here. I'll just be next door." he whispered back. Effie grabbed a tissue and started wiping Katniss' face.

"There there now darling. I know your just bursting with excitement. But save those tears my Victor." she said and kissed Katniss' cheek. She leaned towards them. "Now I don't want either of you to worry what your bodies might go through. You were given a shot, and it lasts three months, so you won't be growing any hair. It's like freezing the inside of your body for three months." she quietly joked. Peeta and Katniss eyed each other. They already knew that. It was explained to them when they each got it. For him, it was just making sure he didn't grow any facial hair, but he knew from Finnick at the Quarter Quell, that for Katniss, it not only meant not growing hair, like on her legs or under her arms, but that meant not getting her period. But he didn't understand why Effie was telling them this now. She hadn't last time. She leaned in closer. "It's a form of birth control." she mouthed so quietly. Peeta's eyes widened.

"Effie!" Katniss hissed. She stood back and clapped her hands.

"Come come now. Your whole District is here to welcome my their Victor's home." she said excitedly Peeta held Katniss' hand. Her face was red from blushing. Why did Effie just tell them that? Duh you idiot. Effie could see the relationship between them was real. It wasn't just for Panem. They were in love. And she wanted them to know, that if they were to do anything...sexual...they wouldn't get pregnant. For three months at least. He knew that the Escorts were allowed to send anything to Victor's that they wanted, except protection. It was never allowed to be given to any District. No matter how much you paid for it. He had remembered talking with Finnick about in District 13. He was allowed to use it when he was in the Capitol. Because we was forced to sleep around. He told them how women took pills and got shots to protect pregnancy. But he knew that guys wore something on themselves called condoms. And when they had sex, it kept anything a guy leaked out, inside of the condom. And it also helped with sexually transmitted diseases. He shook his head. Why the hell would Effie put that in their heads now. He looked over at Katniss again, still blushing. Was Effie trying to give Katniss something to hope for? To look forward to? Well for the next three months, they were supposed to stay away from each other. Having sex wasn't an easy thing when your not even supposed to be in the same room with each other. Effie and Haymitch walked out, and the crowd cheered. They were waiting for Peeta and Katniss. He picked her hand up and brought it to her lips. Kissing it. She looked at him, and he brushed her cheek with his hand, smiling at her.

"Just stay strong. I will to. We'll stay busy. And it will be six months before you know it...just please smile for me. I don't want to see you sad today. You have Prim. You have her. Focus on that." he said. She smiled at him, and he kissed her. He led her out onto the platform. Everyone was there. Screaming, cheering and waving. Peeta and Katniss smiled and waved back. Not letting there other hands go. They held tight to each other. He brought their hands up high. Everyone cheered louder. Peeta saw them the same time Katniss did. He saw Prim above the crowd, because Gale was holding her on his shoulders. Standing with her mother, and Gale's family. Waving. Prim was crying and blowing kisses. Katniss looked over to Peeta with tears in her eyes. He knew she would be ok. Because she had Prim. Katniss just had to see her again. He smiled at her. Their families got closer, and they had to separate to hug them.

Prim came barreling at me and wrapped her arms around me. When she had woken up in her house in the Seam, she never truly had a chance to deal with the fact that Prim was still alive. She had been whisked away so suddenly. But now she had the time. Her fathers words came back to her about Prim. Let Prim grow up. Watching you in the games changed her. Trust her with your secrets. She can handle them. Could she really lean on Prim? Prim was just a baby though. But she wasn't a baby anymore. She may look 12 years old, but she had watched her sister go through 3 arenas now, and went through a war herself. Maybe her father and Peeta were right. She should lean on Prim. She felt her moms arms go around her to, and the three held on to one another. Crying. "Things will be different now. I promise." her mother whispered in her ear.

Peeta watched as Prim ran into Katniss' arms, and he smiled. She would be ok. Prim would make sure of that. He was thrown backwards a bit when Rye slammed into him. He was startled a bit. When he come back last time, his mother was so angry the way that he had behaved. Throwing himself around for Katniss, professing his love for her. And admitting to the whole world, that his father was in love with Katniss' mother. It wasn't so much that he fell in love with a girl from the Seam. It was that specific girl that his mother hated. She wanted his family to have as little to do with Peeta as possible. Telling him flat out that they would not be moving into his house. His family was so scared of his mother, that everyone just listened. He was allowed over for dinner sometimes, and to go into the bakery. But he had limited access to his family when he came home. He didn't want to make the same mistake this time with them. He would keep them alive. He hugged Rye tightly, and Rye pulled back. He smiled at Peeta. "You did real good little brother. I'm glad to see you back. In one piece." Rye said. His eyes glancing down for a second. Peeta knew what he meant. Because of losing his leg last time. That was another thing his mother was pissed about. That he lost his leg for a Seam girl. Wheet hugged him next. Just smiling. No words really needed to be said. And then his father embraced him tightly.

"I don't know how many times I can sit through that. No father should have to watch their child like that." he whispered. Peeta nodded his head and pulled back.

"I know. I love you dad. Incase I forget to tell you sometimes." Peeta said. That wasn't something that was said around his house a lot. Mainly because of his mother. She felt that men shouldn't go around saying that. That it made them weak. Well he must be the weakest Mellark, because he wants to say it to Katniss all the time. All day, every day, for the rest of his life. His mother stepped up next. Not smiling, but hugged him. He knew it was for the cameras. She went to pull back, but he held tight to her. "Incase I don't tell you enough either, I do love you mom." he said. He didn't ever remember telling her. She pulled back and looked at him, startled by what he said. He thought he saw her wipe a tear away as she turned.

"Your cousins are excited to see you to." Her mother said to her. She knew she said it, because the cameras were right there. She knew that while she was in the arena, everyone had directed the reporters over to Gale because they were so close. And she knew that they had concocted that he was her cousin. They didn't want to mess with the star-crossed lovers act. She wondered how hard this was for Gale the second time around. Posy ran up into her arms and hugged her tightly. Rory and Vick throwing her arms around her also. Then as they left her arms, she felt Hazelle hug her tightly. She pulled back and smiled, touching Katniss' cheek. She hadn't done that last time. She realized that Hazelle knew to.

"I'm glad you made it home safe and sound." she said sincerely, and hugged Katniss again. She would have thought that Hazelle would hate Katniss. For blaming her son for Prim's death. For picking Peeta instead of Gale. But there was no hostility in those eyes. Gale came up next. He leaned down and hugged her tightly.

"You'll always be my best friend to." he whispered to her. Katniss pulled back and stared at him. He had a month away from her, and probably thought about their last conversation over and over again. He leaned in and hugged her again. "There's nothing to forgive." he told her. He pulled away and smiled, but she knew that was a forced smile. For the cameras. He was acting to.

Peeta watched the exchange between Katniss and Gale. He had seen him whisper something, but he didn't know what. He wanted to ask Katniss the first chance he got. But he knew he couldn't. He didn't want her to feel like if she chose Peeta, that meant cutting Gale out of her life. He knew they shared a special bond. His thoughts were interrupted by Prim jumping into his arms. He hugged her tightly. "Thank you for bringing her back to me Peeta." she whispered. He laughed.

"It's more like she brought me back. Just take care of her when I'm not around will ya?" Peeta asked. Prim pulled back and stared at him oddly. She nodded her head. They were ushered down the platform, when reporters started yelling different things at them, asking them questions. Katniss' mother answered one of their questions.

"Katniss is to young to have a boyfriend." Emily told them. Peeta and Katniss looked over at each other and smiled. They were brought to their new homes. Pretending to be so excited about these houses that the Capitol gave them. Living right next door to each other was a dream come true. They thanked the Capitol so much for giving them their new lives. They hugged and kissed for the cameras, and they waved goodbye as they all left. Haymitch stared at them all just standing there. Him, Katniss and her family, Peeta and his, and even Gale's family, which of course were Katniss' 'cousins'. Rye slapped him on the back.

"Well the bread won't bake itself. Come on by later. I'm baking this huge cake with pine trees on it saying, I survived the Hunger Games. It will look like crap so you gotta come by and fix it." Rye joked. His mother smacked him in the back of the head and dragged his father and brothers off.

"We should really be going. Let you settle it. Come on kids." Hazelle said. Haymitch pointed to Gale.

"How about we have a talk. Come with me." he told Gale. Gale didn't get a chance to speak, as Haymitch pushed him forward, walking out of the Victor's Village.

"How about you and I get started on something for supper. Your welcome to join us Peeta." Katniss' mother said kindly. Peeta smiled at her.

"I'm going to have to take a rain check on that. But I'll cash it in soon." he said. She nodded, and her and Prim went inside. He and Katniss were alone. They just stared down at the ground.

"After all we went through. This is just supposed to end like this? We just say goodbye for six months? Act like nothing ever happened. The Quell didn't happen. The war and your hi-jacking never happened. You being gone five months never happened and me getting sick never happened. We were supposed to talk about that. And now nothing is resolved." she said bitterly.

"A lot is resolved Katniss. Just not everything. It's not ending. I'm not away in the Capitol like last time. I'm right here. I'm right next door. And this time you have Prim. You can lean on her to get you through this. When it gets hard for you, you remember why were doing this. For our freedom." he told her.

"So we have to sacrifice for the whole world. And what did they sacrifice for us?" she cried. He pulled her to his chest. "Why do I have to lose everything? I just want to be with you. We never get our chance." she cried.

"We will Katniss. We will get our chance. We will have our moment. And I promise I'll make every tear, every bad angry and sad moment, I'll make it all worth it. I'll make it so perfect Katniss, you'll see. Every day were apart, I'll make up for it. I'll make it up to you I promise." he told her. He pulled away and she had tears flowing down her face. She was starting to cry and he kissed her. She sobbed through the kiss and she hugged him tightly.

"Please don't go. Please don't leave me." she cried. She never begged for him. Never told him that she needed him. One time she did, on the beach...but this was different. He hated seeing her like this.

"We have to say goodbye." he choke out. She let out a sob and hugged him tighter. "This is killing me. But Haymitch will work out a plan for us. I know he will. We'll be together soon I promise." he told her. He pulled her away and kissed her forehead and smiled for her. "Go be with Prim." he told her. She just stood there, and he gently nudged her. She walked up the stairs and turned around to look at him. He smiled and nodded at her. She turned back to her house and opened the door. She looked at him again, and he put his fingers up to his lips, and blew her a kiss. She closed her eyes and shut the door. He looked up to his own steps, and made the slow trek up his walkway, up the steps and in through the door. As soon as it was shut he collapsed against it, falling to the floor, and sobbing. He would be strong in front of her, but after everything he had just been through. He had no time to himself to process anything he had gone through. Now that he was alone, bitterly alone, he would process everything.

"Are you ok?" Prim asked from the doorway. Katniss had ran away up to her room, like a little girl, crying in her bed for hours. She opened her eyes, and realized it was night time. Prim walked into the room and put a bowl of soup on her nightstand, and sat on the bed. She stroked Katniss' hair.

"No I'm not." Katniss admitted. It was the truth. She never liked to let Prim know when something was wrong. But her father wanted her to trust in Prim. Prim laid down in bed, facing Katniss. She put her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere." Prim said. Prim pulled Katniss close to her. Was she really hugging her baby sister? The little girl she vowed to protect from everything bad in the world. From starvation, from homelessness. From the Hunger Games, from the war. The war won and took Prim with it. She squeezed Prim tightly. "I'm really here Katniss." she whispered.

"I'm so sorry." Katniss whispered, and cried.

"So were in agreement. Nothing will change?" Haymitch asked. Gale let out a frustrated sigh.

"Nothing will change. I'll make sure to go hunting with her every Sunday. And when you tell me to, I'll kiss her so Snow will see it." Gale said, shaking his head.

"I understand how you feel-"

"No Haymitch, you have NO idea how I feel." Gale said angrily

"Actually your right. You at least have your family to protect. All I have is Katniss and Peeta. My whole family was murdered by Snow, because I made the Capitol look stupid. Because I made a mistake, and underestimated the Capitol. I lost everyone I loved, including a girl. So I guess your right. I don't know how it feels to have my mother and younger siblings with me. Or to at least let the girl that I love go, because she loves someone else. No I just had to watch all mine die." Haymitch said. Gale didn't say anything. "I understand that it sucks. It royally sucks, and no one is disputing that. Everyone has to sacrifice something here." Haymitch said. Gale snorted. "There sacrificing seeing each other for six months. All in the name of freedom." Haymitch said.

"And then they get everything they ever wanted once that six months is up right? Then what happens to me?" Gale asked.

"Your not done in six months. We still need you even after that. And your an intricate part of the rebellion once we all get to 13. You did amazing things while we were there. And your forgetting that I know what you did once you moved to District 2. How important you were to the rebuilding of District 12 and all of the other Districts. I was paying attention, even is she wasn't." Haymitch said. Gale gulped.

"How bad was she really?" Gale asked quietly. Haymitch scrubbed his face.

"That is something she'll have to tell you. But know this, it is because she got so bad, is that we got this second chance. It's all because of her. She's the reason. So I do understand how hard this is for you. Just take it one day at a time. We do need you Hawthorne." Haymitch said, and turned back to his house.

It had been a week. A whole week. Katniss stayed in the house. Not even daring to look out the window, incase she saw Peeta. She looked in the mirror once, and couldn't believe the horror show she saw. She had just been so pretty, with her perfect skin, full rosy cheeks, plucked eyebrows. Now she was pale, thin and had big dark circles under her eyes. She was barely eating or sleeping. Sleeping brought on the nightmares. She at least did take showers every day. Prim would remind her, and she'd do it for her. It seemed surreal to have her back. She would sit and let Prim brush her hair. She knew Prim loved doing that. She would sit at the table to eat, but never had much of an appetite. She did all these things for them. Because they were here, and they loved her. She was trying to keep her promise to Peeta. To lean on them. But it had been seven days. Seven very long days. Just one week. She was supposed to do this for six months. She was startled when the doorbell rang. But she didn't care to answer the door. "Come on in." Prim said. Gale walked in. Katniss hadn't seen him since he left with Haymitch.

"What are you doing here?" Katniss asked.

"Well it's Sunday. I just started in the mines, and I only have Sunday's off. So we can go hunting together." Gale said, sitting on the couch, staring at her worriedly. Katniss shook her head.

"I don't want to." she said. Gale passed her a piece of paper and she looked down. Get your ass up out of that house. Do everything like before. Go hunting. The camera's will catch you leaving with Gale. Get up and go! Remember what your fighting for! It was from Haymitch. She crumbled the piece of paper and threw it on the floor. She threw the blanket off and went upstairs. Prim had brought their dad's hunting jacket and boots over. She had left them before in their old house in the Seam, but Katniss asked for them this time. It was better to just show them up front what she doing. Why hide it? But she couldn't bring herself to go hunting. She had changed and walked down the stairs.

"We'll see you both later." Emily called out to them. Katniss nodded, and Gale led the way. Katniss was to afraid to look up at Peeta's house. So afraid she'd see him. They didn't speak all the way to the fence. They crawled through, and walked to where Katniss' bow was hidden. She didn't take it though, she just sat down.

"I don't know what use I'll be. I'm to tired." she grumbled out. Gale sat down on the ground. "What your not gonna fight with me?" she asked. Surprised.

"Do you want me to fight with you?" he asked her.

"No particularly." she said. They sat in silence for a moment. "Why aren't you fighting with me?" she asked suspiciously

"Well I think that's where a lot of our problems are between you and I. I think I pushed you to hard. You needed a friend. That's all I ever was to you, and I pushed for something more, and I ruined our friendship. It used to be easy between us." he said. Katniss nodded. "I want to go back to that if we can." Gale said. Katniss nodded.

"I'd like that." she told him.

"Then we'll just take it one day at a time...or at least one Sunday at a time. I want my freedom. I liked District 2. I loved the freedom that I had there. I loved knowing that Rory, Vick and Posy would never see a Reaping. That they wouldn't starve again. And I've had a lot of time to think about it." Gale said. Katniss let out a chuckle.

"I'm glad at least someone has had time to think about things. I came back and was pushed right back into the games, and then sent home. I've had a week and I still haven't had a chance to process anything. I'm still stuck on that train." she said bitterly.

"What happened?" he asked. Katniss looked at him, raising her eyebrow. "What happened? Why did we come back?" he asked. Katniss looked away. "How did we get back? And what happened to you when you got home?" Gale asked. Katniss wouldn't look at him. "I called once. Hoping you'd answer. But Sae answered. We were talking for a minute, and I could tell she wanted to tell me something, but just couldn't do it. And then I heard Haymitch yelling at you in the background. Screaming at you to eat something." he said. Katniss closed her eyes and tried to remember that day. He was getting angry at her, trying to get her to eat. She never remembered the phone ringing.

"I just didn't feel like eating." she said. They sat there for awhile, not saying anything Gale stood up after awhile.

"I have to go check the snare lines. Do you want to come with me, or just sit there?" Gale asked.

"Sitting here is just fine." she told him. He stared down at her. Then walked away. She would wait for him. They had to walk back together anyways. She sat down on the ground and leaned against the log. She didn't mean to, but she started dozing off. A week of sleeping a little at a time will do that to you. She saw fires in her dreams. Fires taking Prim away from her. Katniss jerked herself awake and looked around wildly. She was back in the arena. Oh God! How did she get back here? Why would her father send her back for a third time? "No no no no no. How could you make me come back here?" she begged, falling to the ground, covering her face. "Please no just kill me. Don't make me do this again." she cried.

"Katniss?" she heard her name being called. She looked around, and couldn't find her bow. Where did her bow go. "Katniss what's wrong?" the voice asked. She searched around frantically for her bow. It was in Glimmer's hands. She tried to pry them loose, but her swollen fingers wouldn't budge. "Katniss stop it it's me." the male voice said. No Glimmer was a girl. "Katniss please get a grip on yourself." he told her, shaking her. How could Glimmer shake her? She was dead. "Katniss. KATNISS!" Gale yelled. He was standing there in front of her. Katniss looked around. But she was in the arena. Wasn't she? "Katniss please stop it. Your in the woods. Your home Katniss." Gale told her. She looked around. This was where she kept her bow and arrows hidden.

"What happened?" she asked, hoarse.

"I've been gone for a few hours. I came back after I checked the snare line and you were asleep. So I took your bow and hunted a little. I heard you crying for Prim." he said. He was holding her up and she knew that. If he let go of her arms, she would fall to her knees. "Let's just get you home." he said, helping her sit on the log. He secured her bow and arrow, and helped her stand. "I think you need to go home and get some sleep." he said, but she shook her head.

"Sleep is what does this. These nightmares won't leave me alone." she said. They walked the short distance to the fence.

"I need you to stand on your own. There's a camera up ahead. Can you do that?" he asked. She nodded and he let her go, walking in front of him. She crawled through the fence with him behind her. "Do you want to go to the Hob?" he asked. She shook her head. "Alright. I'll go do some trading. I'll be back next Sunday." he told her. She nodded, and started walking back to her house. She would yell at Haymitch for this. She didn't want to spend the day with Gale. She wanted to see Peeta. Had it seriously only been seven days? She thought this was her second chance. Ignoring him for six months was not a second chance. She slowly walked back to the Victor's Village, and never paid attention. She never lifted her foot where there was a crack, and fell to the ground. She scraped her face along the cement. She just laid there. Is this what her life was gonna be now? Falling and not being able to pull herself up? It was already like that. She came back here, and she was just prolonging the inevitable She may have Prim back, and her mother. But she knew it was happening all over again. She could feel it. This is how it started when Haymitch brought her back from 13. Day by day, her mind left this world, and shut down. Her father said that it would have happened to her anyway. They would prolong it, but then once Peeta came back, and still wasn't himself, the guilt would take her away. She could just lay here and die, and she wouldn't even care. She felt small hands on her shoulders. She looked up, and saw her little golden haired angel. Her precious sister. She looked down at her sadly.

"Come on Katniss. Let me help you clean up." Prim said sadly. She let Prim help her up, and looked down at the cement. She knew where this crack was. All she had to do was look up, and she'd be in front of Peeta's house. She could see inside his window. Maybe he was there. Maybe she could see him. Prim held on tight, and led her away. "Come on Katniss." she said sweetly. Her golden angel. The perfect child. How could anyone want to harm her? Prim led Katniss into the house, and into the kitchen, and sat her on a chair. She heard her mother gasp.

"What happened?" her mother asked. Katniss didn't know why she was freaking out. She felt something on her head. Her mother was holding something to her head. "What happened Katniss?" she asked again. Katniss couldn't form the words though.

"She fell. She wasn't paying attention and tripped on that crack." Prim said, and started washing Katniss' hands. She didn't understand what the big deal was. So she fell. Who cared? Just let her lay there. She wished they would just stop touching her and let her go up to bed and lay there, staring at the wall.

"Katniss can you hear me?" her mother asked. Of course she could hear her. She wasn't deaf.

"Gale came by with some berries he picked. He meant to send them back with Katniss. He's the one who told me she should have been back before him. He said she fell asleep and had a nightmare." Prim told her mother.

"She's hasn't slept in a week. Katniss can you hear me? Look at my finger and follow it." her mother said. Follow her finger? She would do no such thing. And what was Gale doing at her house again? She looked at her mother, and followed her finger. "That's good sweetie. You just hit you head. It will be just fine. Prim can do stitches. You may just need 5 or 6." she heard her mother say. Prim and her mother went to work. She looked over and saw a towel on the table with blood all over it. Was that her blood? She touched her forehead, but Prim grabbed it.

"Don't do that. Your hands are filthy. I'll clean it." Prim said. Katniss looked around. She was in her house again right? "Katniss it's ok. Your safe now. I'm right here." Prim said. Katniss suddenly grabbed her hand tightly. "Katniss?" she asked.

"Don't tell Peeta what's wrong with me." Katniss said. She promised him she wouldn't do this. She wouldn't fall into that black hole.

"Katniss please. You just need some sleep-" but she stopped her, gripping her hand harder.

"Please Prim. He can't know. I promised him." she whispered. She looked around. She wondered where the microphones were. She looked back at Prim. "Promise me. Don't you tell him. Or Haymitch." she whispered, begging her sister. Prim nodded her head. She let go of her hand, and let Prim finish cleaning her up. Her mother brought her a bowl of mashed up berries.

"Come on you need to eat something." her mother said. She picked up a spoon and brought it to her mouth. Mashed up berries? It smells like syrup. Like sleeping syrup. She screamed and hurled the bowl at the wall, standing up.

"THAT'S LACED WITH SLEEPING SYRUP!" Katniss screamed. Her mother held her arms out in front of her.

"Please honey you need to sleep-"

"I'M NOT TAKING THAT!" Katniss yelled. Prim was frozen in the corner.

"Katniss I'm sorry. You need sleep. Some real sleep." her mother tried to reason with her. Katniss shook her head.

"That will just keep me stuck there." Katniss said, huffing, looking around. She was in her kitchen, and Prim was there. Prim was there. Prim was alive. She covered her face with her hands. "Oh God. I'm going crazy." she said as she started to cry as she slid down the floor. She felt her little sisters arms go around her.

"It's ok Katniss. Your going to be ok." Prim whispered to her. But Katniss shook her head.

"No I won't. I can't do this anymore." She cried. She felt her mothers arms go around her as she sobbed loudly. Prim and her mother didn't know what to say. What could they say? She had been through three arenas and a war. And there were microphones listening to everything she said.

"We'll get you through this Katniss. I promise." her mother said. Katniss shook her head again and shoved herself to her feet. She ran to the other side of the kitchen and turned to see Prim and her mother standing to their feet.

"Don't you dare slip me sleeping syrup. It doesn't make the nightmares go away. It keeps me in there." Katniss cried. Her mother held her hands up in front of her.

"Alright I won't give you any Katniss. I'm sorry." her mother said. She stepped closer to her. "But you need to eat something. Prim can draw you a bath and it will help you relax." she said. Prim nodded her head, and held her hand out for Katniss to take it. Prim led her up the stairs and into her bathroom. Prim had started filling the bath tub up with hot water. Pouring in the bubble and the scents that Katniss actually liked. She stepped out of the bathroom and waited for Katniss. After a few minutes, Katniss undressed and got into the tub. Prim came back in shortly after that. She turned the water off and sat on the edge of the tub. Katniss pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them.

"It's ok to let me take care of you sometimes you know." Prim said. Katniss looked up at her. "You've been taking care of me for so long. And I'm older now. I can handle things. You don't always have to put on a brave face for me. I've seen what you've gone through. I hear your screams at night. You can lean on me sometimes. Especially when you need someone." Prim told her. Prim mouthed Peeta's name, and Katniss covered her face.

"I don't understand why this has happened to me. I never used to be so out of control." she whispered. Prim leaned down on the floor, and she grabbed Katniss' hand. Katniss looked up at her. "I did something horrible. It's how we got here." Katniss whispered. She knew Prim knew what she meant. She wasn't talking about the games. She was talking about her taking her own life, and her father giving her a second chance. Prim nodded her head. "It's happening again to me." Katniss whispered. Prim shook her head.

"I don't know exactly what happened Katniss, but whatever it was, it won't happen again. Because I'm here. And I'll take care of you. And you have so many people who love you that will help you." Prim said, standing up and running out of the room. She came back in a moment later with a pad of paper and a pen. "Me and mom will help you. And our cousins Katniss. Aunt Hazelle and our cousins love you dearly." she said. She wrote something on a piece of paper and showed it to her. Peeta is just next door. And he loves you! Katniss felt tears in her eyes. "And Haymitch." Prim said. Katniss snorted. "He brought you home safe and sound." Prim said. She wrote something else and turned it around. Rue loves you, and is safe and alive in District 13. You'll see her again. Katniss nodded her head sadly. "And you and Madge are friends." Prim said. She wrote again and turned it around. Finnick adores you. He's so kind and funny, and loves you like a sister. He's alive and well. And will stay alive. He, Johanna and Annie are apart of your family, and love you. Finnick! She missed him so much. "And what about Cinna. Anytime you need him you can call him. You adore each other." Prim said, showing her the paper. We'll keep him safe to. Cinna will make your real wedding dress. Katniss shook her head. She leaned forward and grabbed her hand again. "I'm here Katniss. Just lean on me when you get scared and tired of everything. I'll be right here for you." Prim said. Katniss cried and leaned forward hugging her sister.

"I love you so much Prim." she said. There was a knocking at the door, and Emily walked to get it. It was Haymitch. He looked behind her.

"She's upstairs taking a bath." Emily said softly. Haymitch nodded and turned his head. Peeta came around the corner. Emily could see the dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping either.

"I saw her fall. Is she alright?" Peeta asked.

"The boy came over and got me. Wanted me to ask. But since she's not around, shouldn't be a big deal. The kitchen mics are off." Haymitch said. Katniss' mother nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. Peeta knew they had to be quiet so the other mics didn't pick up their voices.

"She hasn't slept. She's barely eating. Only when Prim really makes her. She's not doing well at all. She made Prim promise we wouldn't tell you." Emily said to Peeta. Peeta scrubbed his face.

"You need to watch Katniss very closely. You and Prim both. She's not the same person who came back from the games the first time around. She wasn't even the same person that was in 13. When I brought her back..." Haymitch trailed off.

"It happened to me. When their father died." Emily said, looking up towards the stairs. "I was very depressed, and I couldn't do anything but stare at the wall all day. It's worse for her. I know that. I feel like she's a danger to herself." Emily whispered. She looked at Peeta and Haymitch, waiting for them to dispute that statement. But by their silence, it was all she needed to know that Katniss was in fact a danger to herself.

"Please just watch her Mrs. Everdeen." Peeta pleaded. He was so scared for her. He wanted to run up there and hold her. This week had been torture for him. He needed things to keep him busy. He didn't have anything from Effie yet, so he couldn't paint or anything. So he would get up early and spend his whole day at the bakery. He didn't like to go up front where the customers were. He liked to stay in the back, baking, kneading the dough. Hitting his frustration out on the defenseless dough. He liked being back there with his brothers and father. His family. He wanted to make things right with them. He had taken them for granted. He wanted to cherish the moments that they had together. He didn't want these moments to be only memories that he dreamed about, trying to hold onto. He would stay late and clean up the bakery, making it shine. Just to avoid his house. He tried walking into his old room to sleep, but his mother wouldn't let him. She didn't need another mouth to feed, she didn't need to put a roof over his head anymore. She kicked him out. He would toss and turn all night, trying to avoid sleep, but knew it had to come. He had to sleep. No person could avoid it. But his shiny memories of Katniss being a mutt would come back. Her killing his family. Her killing herself. Swimming in a pool of her blood. His father had sent him home today, because he was drifting off. He had walked up the stairs, when something made him turn his head. He saw Katniss coming up the path to the Victor's Village It was the first time he saw her. She looked dazed. He jumped into his house, closing the door, but looked out he window. Maybe they could wave to each other or something. But she had tripped and fallen. He wanted to go to her. To help her up. But he knew he couldn't do that. So he waited. He waited for her to pick herself up and walk away. But she didn't. She just laid there. And as he watched her just lay there, memories of her laying in his arms, in a pool of her own blood, dead, came rushing back to him. Prim ran out and helped her, and he waited till they went inside to run to Haymitch's house. He grabbed a pen and paper and barged into his house. He at least was awake. Haymitch wanted to ask him what was wrong, but he just wrote down what had happened. He pushed a button on his watch and they waited for the mics to turn off. Only one would be down. They stole their opportunity to talk to them. They waited till they didn't see Katniss in the kitchen anymore before knocking. Katniss was falling into her own world of darkness. How long were he and Haymitch just going to sit by and watch?