Chapter XII: "Tomorrow's Gonna Be A Brighter Day"

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." – Martin Luther


He was a decent man, Anko surmised. He worked hard at his restaurant: line cook at Ashitoba's. Went straight home to his wife and kid: doted on them both in a manner that even Anko approved of. Even had himself a little night cap before falling asleep on the couch in the wee hours of the morning.

The wife, on the other hand, had drawn the ire of a jilted admirer. Because that was the thing about the restaurant business– all the employees were crawling over each other like gerbils in heat. It came part and parcel with the occupation.

They were like shinobi in that regard, Anko acknowledged as she recalled nights of bedding Kurenai, Asuma, Kurenai and Asuma, others…

Ah, avoiding the psychs at the hospital manifested itself in very interesting ways that often-involved promiscuity, drug abuse, alcoholism, fetishism, or some combination of the four.

And it never hurt to have a side hustle, Anko's just happened to be killing for the Night Mother. The only real conflict came from Konoha frowning on moonlighting. After all, the Hokage isn't going to take every petty request to kill a rival fisherman, a prettier girl, or stronger worker. Killing peons doesn't engender a shinobi village to potential clients.

So, in come the assassin guilds that handle the leftovers. The Dark Brotherhood just happens to be the most successful. With a vaguely religious purpose. But in a world where the gods are cruel, why not learn to fight and serve one of the oldest for a modicum of protection?

Anko was of the opinion that more people should be concerned about what can and will happen to their souls, instead of consumed by their fixation on mortality. As a shinobi, she could kill people and say that it was indeed a power of its own.

But there were things out in the night that could obliterate you.

Pretty big difference in Anko's humble opinion.

And so, that is why she's here, about to murder this poor woman whose son isn't even a year old and whose husband loves her dearly.

All because some cunt who waits tables at Ashitoba's had enough money and know-how to arrange this. She paid extra to make it look natural.

Anko would have sooner used a kunai and been done with it, but money was money. Anko could also appreciate the romantic fanaticism. This girl was going to swoop in and steal this woman's life after paying to have her murdered in her own bed.

It was all good, however, because Anko had Manda's venom. Just two drops diluted and loaded into a syringe. Sleeping genjutsu and the cook's wife wouldn't even feel the prick. It was even untraceable because only two people in the entire world had access to that venom.

If Orochimaru somehow got blamed for this, even better.

The real shame is that this chef lived outside the village on a farm where he oversaw the planting of ingredients for Ashitoba's kitchen. If he had just resided within Konoha, he would have been considered off-limits because of an unofficial understanding between the Brotherhood Sanctuary and the Hokage.

Fucking with people's religion was a dangerous thing in a world where gods acted and people killed for their beliefs.

As such, the Brotherhood got to slide along that gap between church and state, thumbing its nose from the shadows as it played with the strings that connected and controlled the world.

"What a time to be alive," Anko thought as she jimmied the bedroom window open. A few hand seals later, the woman was catatonic, and Anko slid inside.

She withdrew a thin, wooden box and extracted the syringe before tilting the woman's head back to reveal her neck. A quick plunge and Anko was silently placing the syringe back inside its protective box as the poor woman convulsed in the throes of death. The coroner would write it off as a natural death and the needle puncture would be noted as a bug bite.

If there was one thing the Brotherhood did better than anyone else, it was anonymity. They were the masters of remaining in the shadows. It was common knowledge that guilds who openly stirred the pot tended to get wiped out by shinobi villages.

One last check to make sure there was no pulse and Anko was on her way, tree-hopping the short distance back to Konoha.

In a few minutes, she found herself slipping by the gate guards with no one the wiser. At least until Ashitoba's found itself one cook short come the initial lunch rush. She hoped the poor bastard at least got bereavement pay.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much to do this late unless Anko wanted to hang out with some degenerates like Tetsuo. And, while a cocaine bender always sounded nice, Anko's libido was hornier than her nose was hungry. As was the usual case whenever she got to kill people.

Eyeing a queer-looking dog tear down the road she had stopped at, she turned right and headed for the red-light district with thoughts of breaking soft and innocent-looking whores dancing sweetly in her head.

xxxXXXxxx

Tenten sighed as Lee tapped his foot impatiently. The green-suited boy was already over-eager to be on the road, but here they were, waiting for the Hyuuga to open the gates because they had to fetch Neji.

Why couldn't her team be normal? Sure, it was cool to be on a team chock-full of powerhouse shinobi, but at what cost? Neji was too consumed by predestination and apathy that he tried to hide behind a seething hatred for his family.

"But that hair…" Tenten thought admiringly before turning her thoughts to Lee.

He wore a ludicrous, green unitard and idolized an eccentric man who spent most his free time with a young boy. What more needed to be said?

If only they were normal, then she could be the prodigal standout and wouldn't be on medication for migraines. How long before she was destined to find a grey hair?

"H-hello…"

Tenten started. "Oh! Hinata-sama, good day! We have a mission and are here to collect Neji."

The girl visibly wilted and Tenten frowned. "Oh, of course. I'll escort you to him, I was just passing by on my way to the garden, anyway…"

"Yosh! Your hospitality is most appreciated, Hinata-sama!" Lee enthused as Tenten nodded appreciatively and fell into step behind the two of them.

Tenten loathed the oppressiveness of the Hyuuga compound, but it did do wonders for keeping Lee's volume in check. Her teammate was prone to shouting but even he behaved himself around Neji's family.

Rich assholes tended to have that effect on people.

"Cousin, Tenten-san and Lee-san are here to see you," Hinata announced as the trio rounded a path that led to the training area used by the Branch House.

It was nice, but not as nice as the private dojos that the Main House used, Tenten thought. The kunoichi supposed the thought of providing your lessers with the same quality enjoyed by their betters would seem quite ludicrous to the Hyuuga.

Neji paused in his katas and turned to Tenten with a raised brow.

"We have to head to Wave, Gai will already be waiting for us at the gate. He said to pack a week's worth of supplies," Tenten explained without preamble. She knew by now that Neji wasn't one for frivolities such as pleasant conversation. "He seemed pretty excited, we've got to go rescue some rookies– Kakashi's team, you know how he gets–"

"—If we cannot make it to Wave in two days, we will swim five laps around the main island!" Lee interjected.

"Like that." Tenten deadpanned.

Neji smiled like his birthday had come early.

"So, we're to rescue your friend," he said, turning to Hinata, "who seems to have bitten off more than he can chew."

"What happened?" Hinata gulped, tearing her eyes from Neji and turning to Tenten.

"Nuke-nin showed up, it happens from time to time," Tenten answered, hoping to alleviate the girl's fears. "I'm sure they just need Gai-sensei to help Kakashi-sensei handle it. More of a precaution than anything."

"O-oh." The girl replied absently. She certainly didn't look reassured.

"I'll need a few minutes to retrieve my things," Neji said in passing, already halfway around the corner.

Tenten blinked owlishly. It almost appeared as if there was a spring in Neji's step…

"I am excited to visit another country!" Lee interjected, startling Hinata as he rocked manically on the balls of his feet. "I have never before journeyed beyond the borders of Hi no Kuni!"

"Lee, I'm super excited, too," Tenten answered for the flustered girl, "but we're still inside Neji's house."

"Ah!" Lee sobered. "I will contain the fires of my youth, Tenten."

"That's all anyone can ask for, Lee…"

The Green Beast nodded sagely, thoroughly confusing Tenten, before moving to examine some of the training dummies in the clearing's far corner.

"Hinata-sama," Tenten resumed, "how are things going with your team and sensei?"

"They're going quite well, actually," Hinata admitted, surprising herself as she realized she wasn't lying, "Kurenai-sensei is training us in tracking and pursuit…"

"Is that the focus of Kakashi-sensei's team as well, Hinata-sama?"

Hinata turned to face Neji, the latter now sporting a pack slung over his shoulder. "What do you mean, Neji-niisan?"

"They seem to have found grave trouble and now require the help of professionals." Neji responded, the last word rolling off his tongue in an experienced manner that even had Lee and Tenten grinning.

Hinata frowned at the implied slight. "I don't know, cousin, but I imagine you'll be able to ask Team Seven in person."

Neji smiled because fate was absolute and the weak should fear the strong. "I will endeavor to do so, Hinata-sama."

Hinata sighed. Why did she even still care for this person?

And as soon as the question was pondered, the answer was present.

Family.

And, so, one last favor. Because even if someone is already crucified, you can still drive another nail into them.

"I would ask something of you, Neji-niisan." Hinata asked.

"What would that be, Hinata-sama?" Neji ground out. He may loathe his cousin but a directive from the Main House far superseded his spite.

"Please don't allow our disagreements to affect your interactions with other people." Hinata requested. "I would not expect Team Seven to understand our family matters. They will take slights against themselves personally."

Neji bowed low. "Hinata-sama, I would never air Hyuuga business publicly. I am not known for creating spectacle." He assured Hinata before rising and pinning her with his gaze. "But I have it on good authority that Naruto Uzumaki is a loud-mouthed cretin who lives to irk everyone around him– I will have no problem embarrassing him publicly over his incompetence in the hopes that Fate will allow me to be the one who puts him in his place."

The older Hyuuga promptly turned and made for the exit. "Good day."

The remaining occupants were all taken aback. Where did that come from? Tenten and Lee weren't even aware that Neji had ever met any of the rookies except maybe Hinata's teammates.

"That– Hinata, I'm sure…" Tenten sputtered. "Wow…"

She settled for following Neji with a hasty wave towards Hinata.

"Yosh." Lee said, following after his teammates.

Hinata was once again alone, her thoughts on her oldest friend.

xxxXXXxxx

Jiro watched nervously as the first few ronin began gathering. There were only five at first, simply watching Naruto's clones move supplies about and prepare things for the day's work.

The young worker was already sweating nervously—it had nothing to do with the humidity—but his protection didn't seem concerned at all.

Even when the ronins' ranks swelled to a healthy and even twenty men, all armed with swords, the shinobi did not appear to be any way at all concerned.

The three clones disguised as the other members of Naruto's team continued to monitor everything from their position at the far end of the bridge.

All the "workers" milled about, conversing and seeing to their assigned tasks. Jiro thought the idle chatter was nicely done as one worker bemoaned a recent divorce to his friend; it was certainly convincing enough to fool any civilian or ronin.

Jiro was of the opinion that the only real difference between the two was the fucking sword, however. So maybe that wasn't saying all that much…

Yet, all the while, the ronin continued to watch. Some pointing out certain spots, people, even Jiro himself at one point.

Now that got Naruto's attention. Disguised as an assistant, the seemingly inane action caused Jiro's bodyguard to clench his clipboard just a tad tighter.

At least, Jiro hoped that was Naruto. It had occurred to the young man that he had no way of knowing if his assistant was Naruto or just another clone plucked out of the masses.

"Chakra's a hell of a drug…" Jiro thought as he watched Naruto make a show of directing some of his clones. He turned to eye the ronin again and what he saw made him take an involuntary step back.

The ronin were approaching.

They had stepped onto the bridge and the clones had begun to slow their previously industrious pace of work.

The ronin were only twenty feet away.

Jiro looked to the far end of what had been constructed and swallowed thickly when he no longer saw the fake team standing watch.

"You the one in charge here, kid?" the ronin standing in front of all his fellows asked with an air of mild incredulity.

Jiro was taken aback. "Of course I am, it's why I have an assistant!" He responded, indignant, and pointing at Naruto for emphasis. "And a hat," he thought but chose not to voice.

"Jeez, they really sent a kid instead?" The ronin said, removing his straw hat to reveal a face marred by scars. "Look, my name is Ren, and these are my friends," he said with a lazy wave to the men behind him, "you know who we work for, so I'm not going to bother threatening you."

Jiro almost felt faint. "So what do you want then?"

Ren smiled, the act doing unpleasant things to his scars. "Tell us where the old man is or we're going to kill every person on this bridge." The ronin spit as his subordinates drew their blades. "You'll be last, and it'll take a while. So, what's it gonna be, cupcake?"

"Naruto" promptly burst out laughing, much to Ren's annoyance.

"Something funny about being gutted like a trout?" Ren growled.

"Sorry, it's just you civilians crack me up sometimes with what you think is menacing," Naruto replied, wiping away a stray tear. "Dude, you only brought twenty men…"

"What do you have then," Ren demanded, "besides a boy about to wet himself and a clipboard?"

The bridge grew deathly quiet and even the advancing ronin paused.

"…did he just rag on my clipboard?" Naruto asked Jiro.

"Yeah…"

"And what are you– uhck!" Ren began before a kunai imbedded itself in his neck and he dropped to the concrete, twitching and clearly bleeding out.

"Kakashi" and the rest of the team landed between Jiro and the now clearly apprehensive ronin.

"Does anyone else think my clipboard is fucking funny?" Naruto asked loudly, waiting a moment to ensure there were no points of dissent. "Good," he nodded approvingly towards Team 7, "proceed."

And they did just that, Sasuke hurling a few handfuls of shuriken with Kakashi and Sakura trailing behind him with kunai drawn.

Jiro felt a tug and suddenly he was standing near the tree line instead of on the bridge with three Narutos urging him towards one of their planned hiding spots as two more dropped down to wait for the original.

Back at the bridge, the real Naruto watched his clones begin tearing into the ronin, separating them and causing general pandemonium to cover Jiro's extraction. If Zabuza or Haku were here they'd have to let Jiro go in the hopes of confronting or killing Team 7.

Though they were probably smart enough to realize that there was no way they'd leave Tazuna unguarded.

Hopefully Jiro wouldn't get killed. Hopefully.

The clone watched as one ronin slipped through Team Clone and stabbed a worker, exposing him as a shadow clone.

The clone hurled a handful of kunai and prepared a jutsu as the ronin smirked.

"Fuuton: Daitoppa!" the clone shouted, unleashing a torrent of wind that the ronin dodged much too easily.

The ronin landed behind the last few stragglers and promptly threw half a dozen kunai down the bridge that immediately started sparking.

The shadow clone jumped back as the kunai ignited, consuming roughly half of the clones disguised as workers. The remaining clones responded by increasing their efforts to finish off the remaining ronin while Kakashi, Sakura, and, Sasuke rushed the fake ronin.

"I'm betting that's Haku…" Naruto thought as he watched his lead clone move to help the fake Team 7. The jinchuuriki didn't think Zabuza could ever be that subtle; henge or not, he'd have gone in sword first.

The real question, however, was did she have any form of back up? Naruto's plan was linear and a second shinobi helping Haku would complicate things. It hinged on a scouting party, the idea that Zabuza would want to do some recon before making his big move.

It would be prudent to send pawns in first to ascertain if the primary target was even present. For a billionaire like Gatou, ronin were practically begging for a job in the kingdom that paid the best.

But you would still need a shinobi to coordinate such an effort and observe what the enemy was doing.

Naruto was wagering that Haku, or whoever was going to come, would be expecting a diversion and a hasty retreat.

Not a diversion and a fight.

It had taken a bit of convincing, but Kakashi had eventually gone along with it.

The jinchuuriki only lamented the loss of his armored bracers and shin guards. Now he was left in a black pair of shinobi pants and a loose-fitting shirt of the same color.

"But I still have you…" Naruto thought fondly as he withdrew the Ebony Blade from its sheath, very intent on giving Haku the fight she wasn't expecting.

As Haku engaged the fake Team 7, picking off Sakura with a handful of well-aimed senbon, Naruto moved from the adjacent building he was occupying and looked for an opening to join the fight.

The Hyouton user dispatched Sasuke and his lead clone in twin puffs of smoke as the two attempted a failed pincer maneuver.

"Now!"

Naruto rushed in and stabbed at Haku's kidney only for the girl to turn to water that fell to the ground and splashed between his toes.

"Hello, Naruto-kun," Haku smiled as she stepped out of mirror made of ice, "I honestly didn't think you'd stay behind. I was so sure this would be a waste of my time."

Naruto eyed the kunoichi warily. This time she was clearly dressed for a fight, her long hair was tied back in a bun and she wore a blue battle robe that no doubt concealed a vast supply of senbon.

"Didn't mind wasting the twenty ronin, then?" Naruto asked. "Thank you for letting the clones stretch their legs, they get agitated if they don't get to come out and play often enough."

"Gatou was happy to oblige, I'm sure," Haku dismissed, not really caring for the senseless violence like the most eager Genin in front of her, "but I can't help but wonder why you have come running back so soon? I was certain the lingering feeling of my caress," Haku drawled the word as she eyed the seemingly healed Naruto, "would sate you for at least a week before you required my personal touch again."

Naruto laughed heartily, causing Haku to frown slightly. "Oh, Haku-chan, I don't stay down for long. Our little date was just us getting to know each other, I came here today hoping you and I could cut a rug…"

Her smile was back. "Of course," she agreed genially as a pair of water clones flanked Naruto and charged.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto growled, charging forward as his ten clones dealt with Haku's pair. The kunoichi responded by hurling a round of senbon that forced Naruto to dash off to his right to avoid being skewered.

Haku threw a second round and a clone stepped up beside its creator.

"Fuuton: Daitoppa!"

The burst of wind scattered the senbon and forced Haku back. The kunoichi was clearly going to keep as much distance as possible between herself and Naruto's sword.

Naruto shunshin'd to cut Haku off, forcing the older girl to duck low to avoid a slash aimed at her neck, before following up with stab aimed at her exposed side. The kunoichi responded by twisting gracefully to sidestep his blade and hurling a trio of senbon at Naruto's arms.

The jinchuuriki was forced back with a grunt as one of Haku's needles found purchase in his right forearm.

"That looks like it stings," Haku commented idly as Naruto sheathed his sword and plucked out her senbon, "though I'm afraid I wouldn't know, myself…"

"Nails are worse," Naruto admitted with a smile.

"Again, I'm afraid I wouldn't know, Naruto-kun."

"Then there is still time for you to find out." The jinchuuriki responded happily.

The kunoichi hurled another round of senbon at Naruto's three surviving clones, dispelling them and giving the Genin a chance to make ten more that quickly rushed her head on while the original ran along, hiding himself within their ranks.

Haku smiled and began a string of seals she was certain the blonde wouldn't recognize, ready to wipe the clones out and wound the original if he wasn't fast enough.

Naruto, for his part, couldn't believe his luck. He had actually made it this far without serious injury, having to use the Kyuubi's chakra, and Haku was exactly where he wanted her for this whole plan to work.

And so he charged with his clones, ready to have a hidden clone kawarimi with him in case Haku had an offensive jutsu ready for him.

It never hurt to be prepared and being unprepared often hurt.

It might have seemed like simple logic but Naruto never truly appreciated it until Haku nailed his toes to the floor.

Naruto wasn't risking his life to save Jiro, to kill her himself, or escape. That wasn't the plan, that was just a list of things Haku either wanted or expected. She was there to see what she saw because any competent shinobi gathered intel.

Haku was clearly a "Number Two" and like any good Number Two, she was going to be the best little helper there ever was. If she managed to pick off one of her master's opponents, even better.

Naruto felt the tug of a kawarimi just as the earth exploded behind Haku, the chirping of a thousand birds accompanying the blinding light that was approaching her at speeds the jinchuuriki had difficulty comprehending.

He caught his feet, steadied by two clones, about fifteen feet away just as a thunderous explosion clapped and Naruto was forced to shield his eyes from the resulting electricity that discharged in every direction.

"If I were alone, that very well might have killed me…" Haku admitted from a nearby rooftop. "But you're not the only one who can kawarimi, Naruto-kun," the kunoichi smiled, eyeing the two people at the explosion's epicenter, "and you certainly aren't the only one with friends."

Naruto looked to Kakashi to see the Jounin leaping away from a young woman with a pair of short swords, leaving the blonde to surmise that the twin blades had somehow absorbed the lightning chakra from Kakashi's jutsu.

A pair of shunshins later found Naruto and Kakashi eyeing the two kunoichi on the roof speculatively.

"You can fight or run, but if you fight I'm killing one of you for making me try…" Kakashi sighed as he retrieved a kunai. "You two don't interest me nearly as much as Zabuza, so make your choice: here and now, or later."

Haku smiled as an ice mirror began to form behind her. "I'll be seeing you, Naruto-kun."

"Oh, you better fucking believe it, bitch…" the jinchuuriki promised to himself as the two kunoichi disappeared into the mirror, the new comer tossing Kakashi and Naruto a wink and blowing a kiss as she did so.

"Still got it!" Kakashi said to no one in particular before turning to his student. "They might enjoy beating up on my cute, little Genin, but they certainly don't want any part of me without Zabuza around," the Jounin explained unnecessarily as he lowered his hitai-ate.

"Yeah," Naruto admitted. His sensei was world-renown. "It was nice to see who their new partner is, but I still would have preferred to watch Haku die," the blonde pouted.

"I know, Naruto," Kakashi replied, clapping his student on the back, "I know."

xxxXXXxxx

Tenten eyed the modest house speculatively.

It seemed nice enough, but she couldn't shake the feeling that a pair of exploding tags or well-placed katon jutsu would turn it to splinters.

Though maybe that wasn't too much of a concern seeing as Gai-sensei said they would be encountering nuke-nin from Kiri.

She raised an eyebrow in doubt as Neji returned from checking the perimeter. A strong wave would probably wash it away, too…

"There is no one near within the range of my Byakugan," he reported to Gai-sensei, "And it appears that three civilians are inside along with Uchiha-san and Haruno-san."

"Excellent, Neji-kun!" Gai replied with a smile and clap to the Genin's back. "Let us check in with Kakashi's no-doubt-hip team!"

Team Gai marched forward dutifully, even eagerly in Lee's case, but Tenten really didn't want to. Like, really, really did not want to do. Something told her that Neji would not get along with at least one of Team 7's members, if their departure from the Hyuuga compound was anything to go by.

Gai-sensei had many times described Kakashi Hatake as his closest friend and greatest rival and even though Tenten had never personally met the man, she couldn't help but glance at Gai and Lee trotting forward together like a pair of green beans that had learned to walk…

"And there's a third human being who at least occasionally participates in that…" Tenten concluded with a shudder.

No, Tenten most certainly did not want to walk into this professionally and socially awkward situation contained in some stranger's house-turned-base.

But here she was, waiting for someone to answer Gai-sensei at the door.

"Hello." It was the Uchiha, regarding them from behind the home's screen door. "Welcome to the Monkey House."

Tenten gaped. What the hell did that mean?

"That is a farewell, not a greeting, Sasuke-kun!" Gai laughed good naturedly much to everyone's—including Sasuke's—surprise. "And beware the dangers of egalitarianism, lest individuality be swept away in the tides of equality," he added seriously, making the Uchiha's eyes go wide.

"No one cares about your jokes that no one gets because they're from books no one has read, Sasuke!" a female voice yelled from within the house. "Are they real or not?"

"And if we weren't?" Neji snorted to Sasuke, drawing the younger teen's Sharingan gaze. "What would stop us from entering, dealing with you, and then her?" The Hyuuga asked arrogantly.

Tenten followed Sasuke's finger that was now pointing above the threshold.

"You would attack me and when I dispersed you would discover that I explode into an explosion and not a harmless cloud of smoke." Sasuke answered truthfully. "Why would I answer the door myself?" he asked with an insufferable tone that caused Neji's jaw to tighten. "And as you retreated the exploding tags above you would go off thanks to Sakura's foresight."

"A most prodigious defense, Sasuke-kun!" Gai approved.

"Thank you, sensei," Sasuke nodded still looking to Neji. "The survivors, however, would likely die, kill us all, and obliterate this house as they set off the hundred or so exploding tags under this porch."

"Please don't do that!" A second voice, this one also female, called out.

Tenten took an involuntary step back, only to find herself still on the porch with the Uchiha now smirking at her.

She glared at him for his arrogance. No rookie Genin should carelessly be playing with such dangerous seals.

"I tried to talk Naruto out of it," Sasuke continued, once again addressing Gai, "but he insisted that if our enemies were foolish enough to come to our front door we should seize the opportunity." Tenten watched him turn to regard Neji once more. "I was certain no enemy would be stupid enough to show up here uninvited."

"Then it is fortuitous that the bonds of friendship run deep between our two teams and the flames of our collective youth burn tall and bright!" Gai replied easily, dutifully ignoring the grinding of Neji's teeth that Tenten desperately wanted to giggle at. "But I assure you we are friendly, and not imposters."

"Sasuke!" the voice Tenten assumed was Sakura's shouted out. "What's taking so long?" There was a brief pause as Sasuke turned slightly. "Are they talking shit," the voice asked.

"Hn." Sasuke chuckled as he unlatched the screen door and stepped aside to allow the newcomers entry. "Kakashi and Naruto should be returning from… scouting soon," he reported dutifully. Gai was a superior, after all.

A dick Sasuke might be, but if Kakashi caught wind of any insubordination in his absence the Jounin would surely beat the source until the problem corrected itself.

"Most excellent!" Gai nodded.

The following was a whirlwind of introductions as everyone introduced themselves with varying levels of awkwardness. Tenten rather thought the kid was a little shit and his grandfather was a drunk when it was all said and done. Now the teams were left occupying the living room, or kitchen in Neji's case, idly passing the time in silence.

Or chattering animatedly about the virtues of youth as was the case with Lee and Gai. Sasuke seemed to occupy himself with reading, the book not quite angled to allow Tenten a glimpse at its title, but the kunoichi assumed it was the one referenced earlier.

"It's going to be nice having another girl around," Sakura said with a smile as she approached Tenten. "My team suffers from an excess of testosterone."

Tenten eyed her own team critically before turning to the younger girl with a grin. "I think I know what you mean, Sakura-san. It might be nice to work with someone in possession of more emotional depth than a teaspoon."

"I heard that!" A voice chimed from the hallway a moment before Kakashi and Naruto entered. Silently, Tenten noted. "And I'll have you know that I'm so much more complex than what you think is deep that the very notion of what you said is laughable," Kakashi concluded.

"Kakashi, my hip friend!" Gai called gaily. "How did everything go?"

"As well as could be expected," the cycloptic Jounin admitted with a nod towards Naruto, "my cute, little student's clever plan and its contingencies actually paid off," Kakashi simpered in a tone that could almost be considered prideful.

There was rather loud, derisive snort from the kitchen.

Naruto perked up. "Sasuke, what's it like having the village's number one doujutsu? How do you feel floating atop a gaggle of white-eyed commoners playing at nobility?"

Tenten did a double take, eyes wide as she heard measured steps approaching from the kitchen. "Daaaamn."

"My neck aches from looking down upon my inferiors," Sasuke drawled, not even looking up from his book to spare Neji a glance as the older Genin entered the room.

"I sense history I can use to pit you all against one and other for my amusement!" Kakashi interrupted happily. "But let's focus on the nuke-nin. Killing them will allow you all to channel your violent and sexual urges in a positive fashion."

Tenten was confused. "Um… Sensei?"

"Yes, Tenten-san?" Kakashi asked kindly.

"What do you mean by 'sexual urges' exactly…?" And what could it have to do with killing, however, went unasked.

"That I remember being young and ready to douse the world, and by extension the women of the world, with my flaming youth because puberty and killing people is an extremely potent mix, Tenten-san," Kakashi explained helpfully.

Tenten flushed. She was mortified, this had to be some cruel joke. Cosmic punishment because some sick god had seen her masturbate.

"Your flower is blossoming in the springtime of its youth," Kakashi continued, "as are all of yours," he added, pointing to the individual Genin present, "and your sensei and myself can appreciate that."

"Kakashi, hip and cool as ever, is correct, Tenten-chan," Gai answered, placing a fatherly hand on the kunoichi's shoulder. "This is a time of great change for your mind and body that everyone experiences as they mature. While we embrace the flames of our youth, Kakashi is correct to warn you about the perils of losing focus on the bigger picture."

Tenten. Wanted. To. Die.

"Yosh! Gai-sensei," Lee exclaimed, "your words ring true and we shall take them to heart!"

The two green-clad men promptly embraced in youthful comradery.

Tenten looked around helplessly, eyeing her teammates and the strangers with a sense of bewilderment and a stubborn refusal to accept the reality of her situation, before her eyes finally landed on Naruto.

The blonde smiled. "If it helps, I've got a really nifty plan that will give you plenty of opportunity to work out some of your shameful urges," Naruto offered. "But there's nothing I can do about the unstoppable tide of youth," he concluded as Lee and Gai made to embrace one and other.


A/N: Hope you enjoy. Special thanks to Sebine for being the 200th reviewer. There are two chapters left to conclude the Wave Arc. Holy shit, I almost can't believe it. See you all next week.