Loving You Forever is What I Need Chapter Eleven
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." Albert Pin
Emily struggled to open her eyes, due the excruciating pain in her ribs; although her eyes were closed she knew she wasn't on her bed, or even her apartment. She attempted to move her legs at no avail, her head was pounding and she was almost positive she had a concussion. She hardly remembers what happened or what day it was, last thing she remembered was going out to dinner with Liam and then coming home, everything else was a haze. What was that weird smell? She thought, it was like a combination of iodine and Clorox, it reminded Emily a chemical lab. She took a series of deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down, her eyelids felt so heavy over her eyes, why did her head hurt so much, and why couldn't she move her legs, where the hell was Liam?
After several attempts she finally managed to open her eyes, the somewhat bright light blinded her, forcing her to close her eyes again. She opened her eyes one more time, the image in front of her becoming clearer, she was in a room, with a bright lamp above her, it wasn't a hospital or even a lab like she had imagine. It was just a tattered room, she was laying in an old bed, and although she wasn't restrained she was not able to move her body on her own. When she attempted sit up, a sharp pain on her ribs making her cry in pain, she closed her eyes again as tears rolled down her eyes.
Okay she was officially freaking out, where the hell was she and what was going on? She took another deep breath, she knew what to do in circumstance like this, she was a damn trained agent, she knew that remaining calm was the first rule of survival. Tears slide down her eyes from the throbbing pain in her ribs and head, okay something wasn't right? What if she was just dreaming? she gasped as another sharp pain pierced through her ribs when she tried to move again.
"Be careful Emily, don't try to move you have been impaled o the ribs and stomach" A cold voice spoke very close to her. Emily blinked rapidly and the she opened her eyes again.
Fear and worry filled her face when she saw Peter Lewis aka Scratch standing next to her, with a satisfied grin.
Then everything came back to her mind more clearly, images flied rapidly above her closed eyes. Hotch calling her to help him catch Scratch, the team flying down there, the murders, Beth cheating on Hotch, and then her being at her apartment alone, and the blow to heard head. Scratch had her he had taken her from her house...
"Son of a bitch" Emily muttered closing her eyes to keep herself from screaming due to the acute pain. Now she was definitely more lucid, the pain kept increasing by the second making it very difficult to do anything without crying in agony.
"Hello Emily, is such a pleasure to meet you"
"You fucking piece shit" Emily said angrily still unable to move much without grimacing on pain
"Come on Emily what kind of language is that?" Scratch asked smirking at her "I will have expected better from an ambassador daughter with such a high upbringing"
Emily closed her eyes again, unable to control her anger and tolerate the pain she was feeling, but one thing she knew for sure, she wasn't going to let Scratch see her beg for her life, if he was going to kill her, she will not give him the pleasure of seeing her suffer.
"Why don't you just go straight to point and save all your bullshit" She bit gasping as another wave of pain shot through her body, she knew she needed to control her breath to maintain her sanity.
"Come on Emily we are just getting started, you haven't even play my game" The satisfied grin on his face only made Emily more sick.
"I am not doing it" she said between heaved gasps "Whatever it is that you want, I wont do it, so go ahead and kill me but I wont do anything you ask"
Scratch laughed shaking his head, and walking away from her, and returning with a needle and a small glass container with some sort of medications.
"Tell me something Emily" he said as he began to fill the needle with whatever was on the glass container.
Emily tried to keep her mind relax, if he was going to drug her it was probably going to be with the same narcotics he had used on his victims. He wanted to give her some sort of hallucinogens, she knew she needed to keep calm, she could see past the drugs if she relaxed enough, either way she wasn't going to do what he asked. She knew his profile better than anyone and what he had done to his victim's, she had a pretty good shoot at making it out alive.
"How is it that you are still protecting a man who broke your heart and chose another woman over you?"
"You have absolutely no idea what love is" she replied harshly
"Don't I?" Scratch asked holding the needle close to her "What is love to you Emily? Why don't you enlighten me?"
"You talk about love like is something magical, yet you have never even loved enough, not by Aaron or your own mother, have you? " he grinned again injecting Emily with whatever he had on the needle
"No, no, no" she said but all of the sudden she felt to dizzy and heavy to think. Maybe it wasn't hallucinogens what he was giving her, suddenly the pain started to disappear and she was filled with nothing but calm and peace, her eyes grew heavy again and she felt into a peaceful sleep.
Twelve-year-old Emily Prentiss walked around the big fancy mansion, they were stationary on France now; her mothers sixth post since Emily could remember. She didn't even care about settling down or even making friends in the country, what was the point. Before she knew it they will be gone again and she will have to start all over again. Sometimes she wished she could have a normal life and be a normal kid, hell she wished she had normal parents, even if they were poor, she just wished they didn't have to constantly fight over everything and move around the world every few months.
Her parents had been having issues for a while now and Emily hated to listen to their arguments all the time. She could hear them as she walked around the hall arguing on the study. She was going to head back outside maybe explore the new house when something on their conversation caught her attention.
"Please like you care about me or your daughter" The ambassador said as Emily approached the door. She knew it wasn't polite to listen to adult conversations but apparently this time they were fighting about her
"Emily has nothing to do with this Elizabeth" Charles Prentiss said "The only thing you care about is your job and what the world thinks about you" he turned to look at her "You could care less about Emily don't you think I notice the way you treat her and the way you see her, as if you were embarrassed or ashamed of her"
"Don't be ridiculous Charles I love Emily" the ambassador defended "I just think that everything would have been easier if had a male son"
"Don't you dare to talk about my daughter like that" he was inches across from the ambassador face, Emily had never seen him so angry. "She is the best thing, probably the only good thing that ever happen between us"
"I know that Charles" The woman took a sip of her liquor "Just look at the world we live on, this environment, is hard for a woman to survive this" she said sitting down on the leather sofa, she knew that better than anyone.
"Emily will struggle to fit in, you know what this world does to weak person"
"Emily is not weak" Charles shouted unable to believe what he was hearing "Is that the reason you have always treated Emily the way you had because she is a woman?"
"The Prentisses would end with us, the name would die with us, if she had been a boy our blood would have continued" The ambassador said in a long whisper clearly showing her disapoinment
"Are you listening to yourself?" He asked incredulously "She is our daughter, how could you care about the name and your society status more than your own daughter?"
"For God's sake don't be so dramatic Charles" the ambassador continued "Of course I care about our daughter, all I am saying is she would have had more chances by being a male, this world is ruled by males, women are to weak to be in power, and the ones that do have done the unthinkable"
"Yeah don't I know that" Charles said sadly "Your job and the politics have destroyed everything, the love that I had for you, your integrity as a person and now your ability to be a mother and love your child"
"Jesus! Charles you take everything so literal"
"I want a divorce Elizabeth"
"What?" The ambassador asked almost dropping the glass of scotch she was drinking "Are you kidding me?"
"You can stay here and do whatever you want with this job and the power you have, but I wont let you destroy my happiness or Emily's"
"Oh please Emily is hardly happy, have you meet your daughter?" The woman asked coldly "She is such a freak"
"Go to hell Elizabeth" Charles said angrily "I am taking Emily back to America, everything is over" he said walking towards the door. Emily sat there for a second tears soaking her face, but she was able to move fast enough as soon as she saw her father approaching the door.
She ran out of the house and into the land without looking back, tears kept rolling down her eyes non stop. That was the whole reason her mother hated her so much, because she wasn't a man? All these years she had grown wondering why her mother was so hard on her, why she never met her expectations, why nothing she did was good enough. Her mother never wanted her to begin with, she wanted the Prentiss name to continue reigning and because of Emily it would end there, that was the only reason her mother hated her, because she wasn't enough for her, she wasn't a boy, she was weak and would never be what her mother wanted.
"Where is that place you go Emily?" Scratch asked smiling "Why don't you tell me?"
"You motherfucker! You wont destroy that I wont let you" Emily cried, when he realized what Scratch was doing he wasn't trying to torture her with pain, he was using Emily's memories and insecurities to get through her.
"It must have been really hard to be such a disappointment for your mother, to never be able to be what she wanted"
"Is this what you think you have?" Emily asked gaining courage "To try to make me see what I failed at? You think I will do what you ask just because you show me a few memories of childhood"
"Oh Emily, I am offended" he replied smirking sarcastically
"I am not trying to point out any of failures, I am merely showing you love hurt's too, especially when the person we loved the most is the one who hurt us"
"Just like your own mother did?" She asked angrily "She left you and your father to be with someone else, is that what this is about? Is that why you killed so many people"
"My mother was a slut that deserved everything she got" Scratch said angrily
"So that justifies all the people you have hurt? Because your mother left and never wanted you?" She asked incredulously
"Well Emily anyone that grows in an environment like that, with extreme abusive behavior, is not surprise that some people grow up to become killers" Scratch said
"And some grow to catch them" Emily said in a small gasp, the pain was starting to return again whatever drug he had given her was starting to subside "They will catch you eventually, I know Hotch will, they will find you"
Scratched laughed deeply making Emily shiver, she needed to remain calm, if she wanted to gain control of her body again.
"Please don't make me laugh Agent Hotchner is the whole reason that you are here to begin with, because of his damn ego. Because he never had the balls to fight for you, or fight for what he wanted, he was a coward" he pointed getting close to her again
"Explain something to me" Emily look at him refusing to show any fear
"How is it that such a beautiful and intelligent woman is in love with a piece of shit like him?"
"You have no idea what you no idea what you are talking about"
"I think I do" he smiled caressing her cheek making her flinch with disgust "Hasn't he broken your heart like three of four times?" he questioned
"Think about it Emily how many things have you sacrificed for him? And he still chose to marry another woman and be with her"
She closed her eyes again, she couldn't let Scratch get to her, she needed to maintain her calm exterior, what wanted to to get through her mind so he could break her, she needed to be strong and realize everything he was doing was just to get trough her. Scratch reached for the needle one more time, injecting Emily with it
"No please just stop" She asked tiredly, she knew she was strong she just wasn't sure how long will she be able to resist
Emily Prentiss was looking out the window of her apartment complex, as tears rolled down her eyes, she hated to cry like this, she hated showing her emotions and allowing other to see them, she crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head, wishing this wouldn't hurt as much as it did.
"Emily" Hotch said coming closer and trying to reach for her arm
"Don't touch me Aaron" she flinched away from his touch, she was so angry at him right now
"Baby, I am sorry...I..." but he couldn't even form the words
"Just leave Aaron please" she begged wiping her eyes and turning to face him determination on her voice.
"I can fix this Em, I will do anything it takes, please" the dark haired man begged.
"Fix what?" she responded furiously "She is fucking pregnant! How do you fix that?Your girlfriend is pregnant and you are here telling me you can fix this" Anger was rising trough her veins again. She couldn't stand seeing the man in front of her, it hurt to damn much,
Only five weeks a go, he had finally showed up to her place, asking her to marry him; they had been dancing around this relationship, if I could even be called one for over six years. The team didn't really know; no one really knew besides their closest friends. When they first started whatever this was Emily was okay with hiding it from the team, they knew they had too much to risk, but years had passed, they keep trying and the breaking up and there was always something that stop them from really being in the relationship Emily wanted with him. It was always either the BAU, or Strauss, or Haley, the team, the fraternization rules. She was so tired of hiding from the team to be with him, of being his dirty secret, of not being able to scream to the world that Emily Prentiss loved Aaron Hotchner. So finally Emily gained courage to end everything between them, she gained the courage to tell Hotch to move on with his life and leave her alone, to date some other people and find the happiness they couldn't find on each other with other partners.
Soon enough Emily started going out more often with the girls and going to dance, attempting to be happy without him. It was working great until Hotch meet Beth Clemons at at the park, apparently he and Morgan had been training and they ran into this girl. Morgan immediately began to persuade the unit chief to go out with her, and to give himself a chance of being happy. Morgan of course didn't know about Emily and whatever had been between them. Even Emily told him to go for it and allow himself to really be happy with someone else, but soon they realized they weren't really over each other, that they probably would never be, Aaron ended things with Beth and went after Emily once again.
He finally told her that he will fight for her like he should have years ago, that he wont let her walk away this time, that he would do whatever it took to make her happy. He will finally come clean with team and everyone about their relationship, he was willing to wheatear it took to be with Emily, so he come to her apartment one afternoon, and basically got on his knees and beg for forgiveness, he then proposed Emily and told him she was the only woman he will ever love.
Emily couldn't believe it at first, for so long she had waited for that day, the day that he finally stopped sneaking around and come clean to the team about them. She couldn't believe she finally had his heart all for herself, little did she know her happiness would be over before it even started, Beth called him five weeks later, telling him she was pregnant and she was going to keep the baby. And everything shattered for Emily again, just went she thought she will finally achieve happiness with him, another woman was pregnant with his baby. Maybe they were never meant to be.
"I know that Emily, and I will be there for that baby, but is not her who l love" he said tryng to hold her again, but she recoiled from his touch
"Right, that is why you slept with her"
"Emily please" Aaron said looking at her imploring "You are the one who told me to be with her and move on from you..."
"And now you have" Hot tears slide down her cheeks "Go be a father Aaron"
"I love you Emily" he said feeling his heart break "Is you who I will always love no matter what happens"
"You had me for eight years" she turned to face him again, it broke his heart to see her so angry her beautiful eyes full of angry tears
"You had a chance to make me happy for years, and you didn't, you broke my hear three times...and even then I was still a dirty little secret for you..."
"Emily you never were a dirty secret...I loved you if you don't know that"
"You were with her for six months" she reproached "In six months you introduced her to the team and she is having your child! That says it all Aaron"
"Baby..."
"No Aaron" she wiped her eyes one more time "Go be a father, and I will go to London, I will take the job and that is it..."
"Sweetheart please, I don't want that...I love you Emily more than anything..."
"Is Beth still pregnant?" she asked her eyes sparkling with anger
"Yeah" he responded in a whisper
"Then there is your answer Aaron" she turned his back to him again. "Please leave...I don't want to have to call the police just go..."
He sat there watching her for one more minute, his heart breaking in a million pieces, he will never love anyone the way he loved her, no matter what happened, he promised to himself he will never forget her.
When Emily opened her eyes again, they were soaking with tears, her heart ache so much, she had gone all they way across the ocean to forget him, and years later, it still hurt like it was the first day. Scratch was getting to her, she needed to act soon.
"It hurts' doesn't it Emily?" Scratch asked smiling at her enjoying the control he had over her emotions
"It hurts when you love someone so deeply, yet they loved someone else"
"You have never loved anyone your whole miserable life" Emily said in a whimper, the pain was returning again, she wasn't really sure what was it that Scratch was using on her, it could be something like Diluadid, like Tobias Hankel had done with Spencer many years ago, a narcotic used to numb main and unblock repressed memories. He wanted to show how much pain Hotch had caused her too see if he could turn her against him. She needed to be careful, he obviously knew Emily was strong and he wasn't going to be able to break her that easy, but he was using one of her biggest weakness against her, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on.
"What is exactly that you want?" She asked biting her lip to keep herself from screaming in pain when another sharp pain pierced her ribs. "You think showing me all these memories would turn me into a serial killer, you think I will hurt someone because of what Aaron did to me, your delusional..."
"Everyone has a breaking point Emily"
"There you are wrong" she said looking at him "Not everyone choses to hurt people because someone else hurt us, you are deranged. no matter what you do to to, you wont break me I wont do anything you want..."
"Are you sure about that?" he questioned smiling at her "Why are you trying to protect someone that has caused you so much pain?" He asked genuinely concerned
"Beth has nothing to do with this...with whatever happed with Hotch and I, you hurting her doesn't prove anything"
"Well well well Emily" he responded laughing "Nice try, but you already know is not her who I want, so stop putting the nice innocent act"
Emily closed her eyes hoping that he didn't noticed her heart racing, she knew very well he wasn't after Beth or Sean Hotchner, he was after the kids, and she will never reveal their location no matter what he did to her.
"Explain something to me Peter?" she asked facing him again
"What is it Emily?"
"I know you don't want Beth" she breathed gasping for air "You want to hurt me and Hotch, why go after the kids they have done nothing to the kids"
"Come Emily don't be naïve" He caressed her cheek "You already know why I want the kids"
"See Emily your beloved Agent Hotchner once told that only a monster will turn into a criminal because of his past" Scratch said with a small laugh "I want to show him and you how everyone can turn into a criminal..."
"So after I make YOU kill Agent Hotchner..." he said whispering on her ear
"I will make little Jack kill his little brother, after all it would be his fault that both his mother and father die...who knows maybe Little Jack can one day be he next Mr Scratch..." the cold laugh made Emily shiver unable to believe what she was hearing
"No, I will not let you destroy Jack's life like that, I will never tell you where he is..." she vowed "You can kill me and do whatever you want but you will never go near those children..."
"Then let me test that resolve Emily..." he reached for an electric wire touching Emily's chest with it, as the electrical current pierced trough her entire body like fire.
"Noooooo stop" she cried in pain, unable to help herself, she really wished he just kill her, it might hurt less.
"Every man dies – not every man really lives." – William Ross Wallace
