12th Dec: From Winter Winks 221 - One Night in Paris
A/N: Exists in the same sort of head!canon as Chapter 4. Contains very mild sexual themes, in the context of a scandal only (nothing at all graphic or explicit!)
"Mrs Hudson?" Doctor Watson hovered in the doorway, watching her roll the pastry for an apple pie she had promised one of their neighbours. The pie was an apology for a noise disturbance, courtesy of Mr Holmes's late-night experiments. "Might I have a word?"
She abandoned the pastry, removing her apron and dusting off the flour from her hands. "Of course, Doctor Watson. Tea?"
He shook his head, but she for one fancied a cup and set the kettle to boil. They sat across from each other before the stove. Watson cleared his throat.
"It is a somewhat delicate matter. It concerns Mr Holmes and myself."
She remained silent, awaiting further elaboration.
"You see, Mrs Hudson, we are being blackmailed." His leg bounced nervously up and down. "Last month we took a case in Paris."
"I remember."
"An unfortunate circumstance meant we were ousted from the hotel we had originally booked, and had to share a single-bedded room in a different hotel. One of the porters claims that we..." he trailed off, awkwardly.
"Engaged in amorous congress[1]?" She suggested impishly. At his scandalised expression, she laughed. "I know just as much about the Labouchere Act[2] as the next person. Are you and Mr Holmes in any danger from this blackmailer?"
"Oh! Well... no. I don't believe so. Not really." He shuffled in his seat, leg still bouncing incessantly. "He threatened to inform you and Mrs Watson of his suspicions. I was worried you might get a letter and decide it would be easier if Mr Holmes... left. To avoid the scandal. He refused to come and talk to you about it."
"Doctor Watson-" She broke off, for the kettle had boiled. "One moment."
She felt for the poor man, she really did. He looked worried to distraction, and no wonder; Mr Wilde's trial had been splattered all over the papers[2]. She spoke as she poured.
"Mr Holmes has set fire to the curtains, shot the walls to pieces, frequently keeps the entire street up with his experiments-" She glanced to the apology pie. "-and has broken more of my crockery than I can keep count of. I do not need an excuse to get rid of him."
"But aren't you curious? About Paris?"
She settled back into her chair, teacup warming her hands. "That's your business, not mine. Certainly no one else's."
His bouncing leg stilled.
"I don't think anything did happen, mind you," she added, with a quick sip. "I do not believe Mr Holmes is interested in anyone in that way. It's not his nature. And, regardless of your preference, I do believe you are very happy with your wife?"
"Well, of course I am!" The tension was starting to ease off of him. "Would it be possible to have some tea after all?"
She poured another cup and they sat across from each other, sipping in companionable silence.
"I don't know why you put up with all the trouble we put you through," Watson eventually said. "You have the patience of a saint. Explosions, fires, scandal..."
"Before Mr Holmes met you, he showed me a kindness I haven't experienced elsewhere." She smiled enigmatically at Watson's curious gaze. "You may ask him, if you are interested Doctor. For now," she sighed dramatically and rose from her seat. "I had best get to work on finishing this pie."
[1] Had a wonderful time googling some Victorian euphemisms this evening...
[2] The Labouchere Amendment made 'gross indecency' a crime in the UK in 1885. It was broadly used in practice to prosecute male homosexuals where actual sodomy could not be proven. Oscar Wilde was famously convicted under this law, and in the following century so was Alan Turing.
