Erik: Dear readers,
The authoress bo-leigh bella has pleaded for me to beseech forgiveness on her behalf. She wants to apologize sincerely for the horrid lateness of this update. She never meant for her writing to become so slow or to leave anyone disappointed. She bids me tell you that you are the...
Oh really must I say this sentimental nonsense!?
Christine: Erik, be kind. Mlle. bella has written stories in our honor. The very least we can do is help her this once.
Erik: (Sigh) Oh very well. My dear, really it is not fair of you to use that look on me.
She would have me say you are the greatest friends, most wonderful readers, and kindest reviewers she could ever hope for. Her days are brightened by your sweet words and constant support.
Your most obedient servant,
O.G.
A/N So if Erik didn't convince you, I do not know what will. But sorry for the lateness. Please read and review and I hope you enjoy. As ever, the responses to all of the wonderful reviews last chapter can be found on my profile. I adored them all! They mean the world to me.
Foolish! Dangerous!
Amazing. . .
Erik sat alone in his room with a quickly dwindling glass of strong brandy to calm his nerves. Not normally one to indulge in spirits, he used it to help him relax enough to think over the unexpected events that had occurred only moments before in the music room.
What idiotic hopefulness had convinced him to play such a terrible game with Christine? Erik could not say. Yet, it was no game. The desire that had come alive in the music had been more real, more tangible than anything he had ever experienced before and he had been victim to many an attack of lust. But that song, that urge had burned into a frantic frenzy of need and hunger. Instead of influencing Christine he had found himself manipulated by her mere presence.
But then she had touched him! Amid what should have been a frightening display of raw, unrestrained wanting, she had dared to approach and actually touch him. Her small hands fitting to his shoulders had been his undoing. Like a drug, he could not be content with just a taste of Christine's caress. Still consumed with the erotic pitches swirling through his mind, Erik had turned with the absolute intent of ravishing her. His sight was tinted red and nothing seemed to matter but her. Right as her body had burned against his own, she had murmured feverishly, "Please." One word from a voice that barely seemed to belong to her had broken the spell.
Still Erik could hardly believe he had been so close to such an unforgivable crime. He was no fool, no simple-minded idiot to blind himself from unpleasant truth. His music truly reigned as his most terrible and effective weapon. Be it the creations of instruments or the overpowering tenor of his voice, Erik had always possessed almost god-like control over others when using his music. Many times throughout his life, he had used its strange effect on others to his advantage. And yes, he had before employed his golden tone to calm and gain the trust of Christine. But he never intended such a sin as what he almost committed. The song had been equally effective on him, but that was no excuse. Surrendering to his desire for her in the safety of music hadn't been safe at all.
Through his passion clouded eyes he had seen a great many things, only now could he analyze them clearly. Her blue eyes had been feverish, wild almost with dilated pupils that betrayed her wanting. Her heart had hammered against his chest as she leaned into his embrace. Her delicate pink lips had parted, expectant and waiting for a kiss he knew he could have taken. Taken and stolen. Under the power of his intoxicating music, she had desired him. But that artificial surrender had only been another horrid manipulation on his part. So he had talked himself out of taking her even as his body begged for it. "Not like this," he could remember whispering the phrase. Impossible as the idea was, Erik wanted Christine to desire him of her own free will, not force her into it with his damnable, addicting music. Perhaps she appeared to do so, but he couldn't trust those strange moments. God only knew how terrified she must be, sitting alone and vulnerable in her room, aware that a monster prowled only a few steps down the hallway. Now away from his hypnotic tune, she most likely feared him for the melody's horrible power over her innocent mind.
That was what he had done, damaged her innocence because of his own sinful frustrations.
Yet, one thought continued to confuse him. After the music stopped, why had she not been afraid?
He shook his head and knocked back the last of the amber liquid. Some thoughts were better left unexplored.
Christine could hear the mahogany clock by her bedside ticking away the hours. Her lamp still flickered for turning out the light would have been an absolute waste of time. Normally an easy sleeper, she found rest impossible. So she had tossed and turned upon her large plush bed, watching the hands of her clock spin round.
She felt utterly exhausted, her eyes blinked lazily, yet she could not find the peace to attempt slumber. Troubling thoughts chased each other in her mind.
Almost. Erik had been so close, his eyes full of fire, and he had almost kissed her. Christine still felt partially unnerved at how greatly she had been disappointed when he had not. She had wanted that kiss and still did. She always thought of herself as a good, well-mannered young woman. How was it then that all she could think on was the embrace of Erik? Erik, not the man everyone believed her to love. Not poor, abandoned Raoul. No. Much to her shame, Christine had hardly thought of her suitor in the world above. Instead, she obsessed over the fickle affections of her teacher.
He had seemed so angry when he took her to bed. She couldn't understand why. Was he upset with her? Had she done something wrong? Christine did not think so, but how could she know for certain?
"Not like this," he had said, his normally golden voice rough and thick.
What did that mean? Christine had always fostered a belief that Erik had feelings for her, but what if she was wrong. Really it made her appear quite conceited to assume such a thing. If he did, wouldn't he have taken the chance when she was in his arms?
Perhaps "not like this" meant not with her. Maybe his passion had only been a result of the music that always appeared to consume him.
But then, why was his expression filled with regret and sadness when he left? The price of almost solitude weighed heavy on her. She wished fervently for Meg or Madame Giry to confide in. How was she to discuss such topics with the source of her worries? Yet, speaking of her troubles seemed almost laughably impossible, mad even. She would never put Erik in such danger as revealing his existence to anyone.
Still, the worry and hurt and confusion would be a relief to confess. She felt so very alone.
Raoul watched yet another performance at the opera, still hoping against all odds that Christine would return as suddenly as she had vanished. But, as had been the norm, the stage lacked her presence. He should not have been disappointed. The managers constantly assured him that if she came back, he would be the first person they would notify. Still, he was thoroughly disheartened.
Surely he should have heard something by now! Perhaps a report from this suspicious teacher. Or, heaven forbid, a short missive from Christine assuring him of her wellbeing and happiness. But no, aside from the first note he received from Christine, there had been no correspondence.
Raoul worried about her non-stop, constantly afraid that this teacher was manipulating her or using their lessons to try to gain her affections. What man in his right mind wouldn't be enchanted by her? Beautiful and innocent, she was the very portrait of love.
But she belonged to him! Or, she would the moment she returned to him. He fully intended to ask her to be his wife. Why court her as custom deemed appropriate when he already knew they were a perfect match? Raoul desired the entire world to know that he loved her and claimed her irrevocably as his. That way no admirers…or teachers, could attempt to steal her away from him.
How he missed her! Christine's smiles and charming wit had filled his days before her absence. Now he had little to occupy the void she had left behind.
But she would return.
Yes, she must return.
Morning found Christine nervously pacing the length of her room, back and forth, back and forth. Her bandaged feet throbbed, but the pain was not enough to still her.
Usually Erik rose well before she did, but the door to his room remained shut and she hadn't the nerve to disturb him. Although she knew she could depart any moment she wished, Christine felt very confined within the walls of Erik's home. It had been over a week since she had seen natural light or felt the crisp air of the season. Normally her teacher provided ample distraction from such thoughts but his absence allowed her mind to wander.
Back and forth, back and forth, her pace grew ever more hurried as her agitation grew.
The very air around her seemed to suffocate her within her own horrid discomfort. Christine had never been one to give in to the temptations of the flesh. She had always been able to keep Raoul's romantic advances from overwhelming her. Yet her mind was filled longing and the more she sought to escape it, the more it seemed to consume her.
Back and forth, then she strode to her door, continuing down the hall until she sat in the kitchen. Nibbling on an apple, she tried to sort through her tumultuous feelings. Her affection for Erik seemed to be intensifying every day and the more she thought of it, the worse her situation appeared to her. Excuses, she had always used them to justify her time spent with him, but now that was a horrid injustice to him, made worse by the realization that he had readily given her one in order to convince her to stay. Was she truly so weak in her character that she could not even make decisions without some justification? It disgusted her. Though her days spent with Erik had not been easy, each one had been eye-opening and altering to her. It was odd to think that mere days ago she had blamed him as a heartless murderer and cursed him for leaving her. He had been strong enough to teach and guide her and yet asked for so very little in return.
Perhaps it was time for her to be strong as well.
Erik woke with a start. One look at the clock and he realized he had been abed for far too long. Rising quickly, he dressed and went in search of Christine.
He quickly found her seated at the dining room table, an oddly pensive look on her face.
"Good morning," he bid gently, feeling considerably uncomfortable after the events of the previous evening.
"Oh, you're awake. Did you sleep well?" she asked with a smile. He found the sweet expression to be strange after everything that had happened the night before.
"Christine?" She raised her delicate brows expectantly. "I-please do forgive me," he entreated hastily. "Last night was a horrid mistake and I never should have treated you in such an inappropriate manner. I should have known-"
"Erik," she interrupted quietly. "I'm not angry with you, nor do you have any reason to ask forgiveness. For now, let us just not speak of it, please?" As she said this, she looked away from him. Whether it was shyness or deception, Erik wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"As you wish," he agreed. Trying to distract them both he asked, "Have you any questions this morning?"
Christine brightened then immediately resumed her pensive, almost worried expression. "Well, yes. But only one."
Despite all that had happened, panic gripped Erik. If she only had one question, perhaps it meant she wished to leave.
"Please don't be upset, Erik," her large eyes pleaded silently.
Good lord, he was right. She wanted to return to the world.
"May we go out today?" she asked softly. "Outside I mean. I miss the sun and the sky. I would dearly love to go out with you to see them again."
For a moment, he could not respond, so great was his immediate relief. She wasn't leaving. But then the unexpected question hit him. Outside. In the world. The world that despised him. Returning to the world above was not a prospect Erik relished. Inevitably, they were sure to run into other people. He hated enduring the endless suspicious stares and rude behavior of others. He frowned without realizing it.
"Please, Erik? We may go wherever you wish, so long as we are outside. Please?" she repeated the word again, breaking his arguments before he even had the chance to voice them.
"What about your lesson?" A half-hearted protest at best, yet one he believed valid. The only way to restore and surpass Christine's previous incredible abilities would be faithful, daily practice and refinement.
"We could rehearse before we depart or this evening when we return. Or perhaps you could bring along the violin or another small instrument."
Erik could not help feeling a bit of pride. Christine had obviously thought this request through. She already had counters for any objections he might have voiced. He smiled ruefully.
"Very well," he conceded finally. "But, if you would allow me to take some precautions it would make this…easier. It has been a while since I have truly left this darkness."
She nodded eagerly, but there was a sudden sadness that flashed in her eyes. Erik felt confused by that, but didn't voice his concern, afraid of where it might lead. "Go on then and get ready. Though spring is coming it is like to still be quite frigid out there. Be sure to dress warmly. It will not do for you to catch a chill from overexposure."
"I will," she promised turning away to her room. But before she disappeared down the hall she glanced back and said, "Thank you, Erik."
An hour later they were ready to depart. Christine wore a deep green woolen dress with thick petticoats to keep her warm. Erik stood ready to go at the door, an apprehensive look upon his face. He looked like a shadow personified, dressed entirely in shades of black save for the mask. Though she wore a long coat, he offered her a heavy cloak lined in velvet. She wasn't certain, but she believed it might have been one of his own.
He donned a black fedora and leather gloves quickly and picked up his violin case. Other than that, all he brought along was a blanket and a basket containing dinner in case they stayed out too long.
They traveled in silence across the underground lake and emerged at the gates of the Rue Scribe. Outside the gate waited a brilliant ebony show horse.
Christine's face lit up in sudden recognition. "Is that…?"
"Cesar? Yes, poor brute gets little enough attention from the managers of our stables. I exercise him whenever I decide to travel."
Christine laughed quietly, wondering how she failed to notice when they rode back from the cemetery.
"I hope you don't mind," he said suddenly. "Taking multiple animals is far more noticeable and I have a private exit from his stall. Bringing along another would have been more troublesome."
"No, it's alright," she assured him, wanting to laugh a bit at his nervousness. Without another word he helped her up into the saddle, then leapt up behind her. When his arms curved around her to reach the reigns, she blushed at his nearness. But then the horse trotted forward and her curiosity had her wondering where this journey would lead them.
The world had changed while Christine had been underground. The strange transformations of the seasons had already begun as winter was melting away to spring. The warm sun overhead had already won against the snow. Though chilly winds still swept about them, the dominion of winter was fading.
The rode for a long while using the back streets of the city to avoid the eyes that saw too much and mouths that questioned too quickly. Christine never commented on their course but she knew Erik was taking every precaution not to be discovered. He even took extra care to conceal his face, hiding it behind a thick scarf and angling his head so that the fedora hid all but his cheeks and chin.
They left Paris behind and rode into the country. After nearly an hour of non-stop travel, they turned into a beaten track in the woods.
And they entered the most magical place Christine had ever seen.
It was a meadow, a sweet clearing in the middle of nowhere. Green grass was beginning to reappear and even a few small blooms dotted the emerald sea. But the most breathtaking thing about this secret place was the immense cliff face that made up one side of the meadow. Rock loomed above them, reaching towards the heavens and over its top flowed a delicate waterfall. The gentle roar of the water hitting the pool below enthralled her. She had never been anywhere so majestic in its natural simplicity.
"This is one of the few places I actually enjoy in the world. I'm sorry if you expected somewhere more…public. Solitude is unfortunately an unavoidable consequence when in my company."
"No, this place is absolutely beautiful," Christine replied, whispering as though not to disturb the scene before her. "And this isn't solitude. We aren't alone," she said with a smile. "We have each other." Not giving him a moment to reply, she slid down off Cesar and ran to the center of the clearing.
Erik's shocked expression morphed to one of amusement as Christine opened her arms up to the sky as though to embrace it. She danced her way around the clearing in an alternating series of enthusiastic pique and chaine turns. She spun around herself a bit more before laughing. "Erik, do you never miss the sky and the sun?" She turned to gaze at him, still smiling.
"No, not really," he answered quickly. Before her grin could falter, he continued, "but it is worth seeing them again to see you so happy."
Her smile only widened at that. Dappled in sunlight, her cheeks glowing from her dance, she looked absolutely captivating to him. "Now, as much as I would enjoy watching you pirouette around the forest, I think it best if we attend to your lesson first." His visible brow rose, letting her know his words were a question. Usually so demanding, it was a rare gift to be given control. Erik was trying to make this day about her. For her.
"Of course."
Erik dismounted, unpacking the saddle bag and retrieving his violin case. Christine awaited eagerly, ready to perform anything he asked of her. But the second the bow ran across the strings of the instrument, she forgot her impatience. Those sweet, resonant sounds never failed to bring back the memory of her father. She hadn't realized how much she missed the sound of his favorite instrument. Erik played it occasionally, but never for lessons.
As though sensing her train of thought, he did not immediately ask her to sing. Instead, he simply performed a few gentle pieces, allowing her to appreciate what she had missed.
Their lesson went by swiftly. Erik could hardly contain his astonishment at how quickly Christine improved. It seemed that every minute her fervor and passion grew. She sang with a glorious tone and purpose filled eyes that finally began to express. Where once her sapphires were dull and lost, trapped behind walls of suspicion and disappointment, they now shimmered with feeling and determination. Although she had a long way to go before she would be on level with her former performances, her progress was unprecedented. And to look at her prideful smirk, she knew it as well.
After several hours of diligent work, Erik decided their lesson could end. With the slight chill in the air, it wouldn't be wise to allow her to sing much longer.
The afternoon found them seated underneath a large tree by the falls, resting atop a quilt. Erik sat on one edge, his back against the trunk of the tree while Christine was across from him in a puddle of skirts and petticoats.
"Have you any questions for me this evening?" he asked. "You've yet to voice any and your lack of curiosity is worrisome. Are you feeling quite well?"
She looked up quickly enough to see him quietly chuckle. Christine laughed too. His jovial mood was contagious, perhaps because it was so new to her. She could hardly remember ever being teased by Erik. But then her laughter faded to a serious expression. "No, actually, I no longer wish to ask any."
Erik could hear his heart pounding in his ears. After such a pleasant evening, he found it hard to believe what she said. "Do you…," his voice seemed to suddenly rebel against him. He found it difficult to choke out the question. "Do you wish for me to take you back?" Oh Lord, the night before had terrified her. She must have only indulged him that day to make her departure less painful. It hadn't worked. In fact, Erik felt certain it would be worse.
Her brows flew upward in surprise. "What…? Oh. Oh! No, no that isn't what I meant at all."
"Then, what are you asking? You aren't making any sense, Christine." Erik heard his voice turn hard. He could not help the change. He felt deceived. But she denied wanting to leave. Only that detail kept him sane.
"I meant that I do not want these questions to be the sole reason I stay with you."
"I don't understand," he said honestly, his tone rough with agitation and worry.
"I'll stay with you, Erik. But not for more answers." Her gaze met his and gave him hope he didn't comprehend.
"Why then?" he asked, almost afraid of her answer.
"I will stay because I want to."
So sorry about the late update. Really my life is insane, but I have been writing, just bits and pieces at a time. I really hope you enjoyed this and please review. It really, really means the world to me.
If you want more of my characters in the mean time. Erik and Christine do have a tumblr page. I update it when I can. Their askbox is always open.
Please remember your personal responses are on my profile!
Much love to all of you wonderful readers and friends,
~bo-leigh bella
