A/N: First I'm saying thanks to all of those who are leaving me comments as that means a lot, I wanted to reply to some of them but there was something wrong with the page and I couldn't...

*eemily asked me what Seth and Embry had to do with the story, well they will appear later on and one of them becomes an essential part of Ami's life.

*Hyper Mufasa asked if Luke was in love with Ami, no he loves her as a brother and their relationship is really strong. And if Ami imprinted on Kaleb read this chapter and find out...

Lastly for this chapter the inspiration was the song Breath by Breaking Benjamins... listen to it!

**Edited by Danielle

Chapter 11: Heartache

Amelia's POV

Hearing his painful howls sent me into a frenzy of emotions that I couldn't understand. My whole body shook and my hands let go of the jar of orange juice I was holding. Before the howls ended I was on the floor crying uncontrollably with a pulsating pain on my chest. I felt empty, like my heart left me and in its place stood an empty hole.

Why is life treating me like this? I thought. It was torture not having a choice in life.


I didn't understand why I felt the need to follow him when he told me that he wanted to talk. Without knowing why, I followed his silent figure and waited for him to speak first. I didn't want to look at him; I was actually scared that something was going to happen if I did. I just stared at the floor while my heart was hammering inside my chest like crazy. And then he spoke and I almost lost my breath. I couldn't believe that he was apologizing for treating me bad. I didn't know what to do, so I spoke to him in a whisper, afraid that my voice was going to give me away. All I wanted was for him to finish saying what he wanted to say so I could leave. I didn't like or understand why I was feeling so helpless around him. I had to concentrate hard to capture what he was saying; his voice was like a classical music concert, you got lost in every little detail that you had to concentrate to catch the whole tune.

He must have lost his patience, because with a swift movement, he approached me. My whole body froze when his scent surrounded me and I couldn't understand why I was marveled by his smell. It was like being in the middle of a forest while it drizzled lightly. My heart started to beat faster and my breathing became laboriously. I needed to control myself or he was going to notice my behavior.

"Look at me," he said while standing really close to me. Why did he want that? What difference did it make if I looked at him? I almost looked up, but I didn't, because I wasn't going to be weak and do what he wanted. I felt him looking at me with such wanting. What was I now, the only choice he had to please his needs? He never showed an interest in me, why act now like this, like he needed me.

"What do you want? I accept your apology, okay?" I said to him while trying to hide the shakiness in my voice. My heartbeat and breathing were still very fast, making me lightheaded.

"I just want you to look at me while I say sorry. That's all, please," he begged me.

Why did he say please? Why was he acting so weird? I never thought I was going to hear him say please.

Before I could stop myself I looked up.

His breathing immediately stopped and so did mine. His dark brown eyes were all I could see. I felt myself detach from everything that was holding me to this planet and I only existed in a world where I was alone with him. He was so beautiful, more than that, but there were no words to describe what he was. I couldn't stop looking at him—those deep eyes full of emotion. I could determine—even in the dark—every small color that intertwined in the dark brown. I looked at his lean face and appreciated each single line and imperfection in it, because that was what made it more perfect. I, very badly, wanted to caress it. His lips were thin but luscious, and they invited me to touch them with my own. I had to concentrate hard to understand what was happening. My brain seemed to be stuck, and I was unable to put together two coherent thoughts. Why did I want him so much?

"I'm sorry," he whispered. I felt a strong emotion, and it was love. That's when it hit me. He was my soul mate, the only one who could make me feel whole, complete. I imprinted, and the feeling that covered my whole body was love. A love that I'd never felt before, I didn't know that it was possible to feel like this. But there I stood, close to him, unable to move.

Realizing what had happened brought me back to reality. Why did I have to imprint on the one guy I didn't want to love, or did I? Why should I fall deeply and madly in love with a guy who doesn't appreciate females? The guy who played with my best friend's emotions. The guy who was unable to return any feelings. I needed to get out of here fast. Without thinking of the consequences, I turned away and ran in my human form, because I was afraid that he was going to also phase and see my thoughts.

My whole insides ached as I ran, crying uncontrollably. I wanted to go back and embrace him so I wouldn't feel this maddening pain. But at the same time, the rational part of my brain was telling me to get away from him, to think first of what he was and not follow my heart. I couldn't be with him, not while I knew how he played with women. But would I be able to live with this pain? I felt my heart rip, but the wounds weren't healing, and every time it gave a beat, it would send to my body a pain that couldn't be explained in words. I collapsed on the ground. All I wanted was to stay there for the rest of the night. Curling into a ball, I started to rock myself back and forth. I was willing to give everything in my life for someone to talk to, someone who could hold me and comfort me like a little girl. Because that was how I was acting. That was when I decided to head home to see if Emily was already there, but when I got to the house, Luke was the one there.


As the night went by I didn't regret one thing, at least I was talking to Luke, and he didn't care about knowing the truth, at least he pretended he didn't, all he wanted was to make sure I was okay. We were standing in the kitchen when I heard the howls that, again, brought undying pain. Apart from the pain, I could feel someone holding me on the ground. It was Luke, and he was also crying because he didn't understand what was happening to me. He was holding me really tight and asking me what was going on. I couldn't talk, my whole body was shaking and the burning was almost reaching my spine. But I needed to hold it in because Luke was too near.

That was when Sam and Emily arrived. When they saw me on the floor, shaking, they knew that they needed to take Luke away. The pain was getting intense because every time I blinked, his face popped into my head. I tried to drown it with my crying, but it didn't go away. Sam grabbed Luke and tried to pull him away, but he fought against it. I had to get him to leave and fast, I was going to phase and hurt him. I pushed him and he looked at me, shocked.

"Luke, get back," I screamed at him. "I don't want to hurt you. Sam, take him away I can't hold it in anymore." The burning was too intense, and I saw myself become blurry.

Sam grabbed Luke again and started to pull him off me. Emily, who was standing in a corner, came forward and helped Sam. I could faintly hear her whispering to Luke. When they were almost out of the kitchen, she turned back and screamed at me to leave. I got out of the house through the kitchen's window and phased immediately. Being a wolf didn't take the pain away, so I started to howl really loudly and ran, trying to leave behind all the hurt.


I passed out in my wolf form in the middle of the forest. When I woke up, I could tell it was already noon because of the position of the sun. I could still feel my face wet, I had probably cried while I slept. I stood up, and through blurry eyes, tried to see where I was in the forest. I recognized the place and started to head back home. I was feeling numb, like I didn't have a heart anymore. When I got to the edge of the forest, I realized I was naked. So, I would have to get to my room through the window. I had to run fast, because if Luke looked out his window, he would see me. I ran very fast and, with one leap, reached the sill of my window. Thank God I always left it open. I got inside and immediately got dressed in some pajama shorts and a shirt. As I lay in my bed, curled, and holding myself, afraid that I was going to break more, I started to cry again. The emptiness was worse than feeling pain.

I didn't know when Luke came into my room, but when I opened my eyes, he was next to me, looking very desperate. He was caressing my head so softly. When I saw him, new tears started to pour out of my eyes, and sobs were coming out of my mouth. He came closer and hugged me really tight.

"Shhh…" he was saying while cradling me like a baby. No matter what I said or did to him, he was always going to be here for me. "Please, Ami, talk to me. What's going on with you?" There was a battle inside of me between telling him everything, or to just stay in his arms without talking.

I decided to stay quiet, and he didn't ask anymore. He knew that when I was ready, he was going to be the first person I would talk to. I stayed all day in a trance without moving, while silent tears left my eyes. Once, I heard Luke arguing with Sam and Emily.

"Why are you mad at me? All I did was go to her room to give her some comfort. Is that bad? She needs me!" Luke was screaming.

"Just stay away from her. For a while, at least," Sam said. I wanted to scream at them to shut up and let Luke come to me. But I didn't have the energy to do it.

"I don't care to know what is going on. All I want is to make sure she's okay." He was saying with a cracked voice. I was too tired and let sleep take over again.

This time, Sam and Emily were really worried, as they didn't know what was happening to me. I did everything possible to forget about what happened last night, but all I could see was his face and that brought another crying attack. Luke came and went from my room all day. He would just sit on my side and talk to me about how things were going with Cat, what happened on that last week of school. He also told me about plans he made with Cat, like he was going to take her to this fancy restaurant in Port Angeles. While he talked, I wanted to show him how happy I was for him, but I tried to grasp the feeling of happiness, and it slipped away through my fingers. I felt like I was never going to be happy again.

It was already night when Emily came into my room with a tray of food. I didn't want to eat, but she insisted. Luke wasn't in the room because he had promised Catlyn that they were going to a movie. Even though I wanted him to stay, I told him to go and have a fun time. He had spent the whole day with me, but Cat also deserved to have him, and she was his girlfriend after all. After a while, I hadn't touched my food, and Emily gave up. When she took the tray away, she came back and sat next to me. I was still in the same position looking at nothing in particular. I was like a zombie.

"Ami, do you want to talk about it?" She was fidgeting with her hands, probably nervous about how my reaction was going to be, but I didn't even have the energy to blink. All I did was cry a little more, because when she asked me that, I remembered why I was feeling like this.

After a while, she continued talking. "Thomas came this morning. He was worried that you and Kaleb didn't report for patrol." When she said his name, my whole body shook, but I controlled it really fast by letting the numbness take over. Should I have told her what was going on? She must've known more than me about imprinting. But I immediately put the idea down because I knew she was going to tell me to be with my imprint, as that was the only solution. "Do you know why Kaleb also didn't go to patrol? Did something happen last night between the two of you? Did he hurt you?"

"Why does everyone always ask me if he did something to me? Why can it be the other way around?" Without realizing, I was screaming at her. "GET OUT! I don't want to talk to anyone, not now." I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see the shock and pain in her eyes.

After a while, I heard her leave the room and go into hers where Sam was waiting for her. I could hear their conversation. Sam was the one who asked her to come to me and see if she could find out what was wrong. They were both very concerned about what was wrong with me. I wished I could've told them, but if I said out loud that I had imprinted on Kaleb, it was going to become more real and hurt more. So, all I did was lay in bed and let sleep take me to a peaceful place.

It was the next day around 4:00pm when Sam came into my room and yanked the sheets off of me. I was still in the same trance and hadn't eaten anything. He was looking at me angrily, but all I did was stare out the window.

"Come on. Get out of bed now," he said to me with a calm voice, but I could feel that he wanted to scream at me. I didn't move an inch. "I don't care what is going on with you, but you're forgetting your duties. Thomas has been doing patrols alone because you and Kaleb decided to go on a strike. Yeah he is just like you. Paul told me that he is practically dead in his room like a zombie, without eating. I don't care what happened between the two of you. Nobody cares." He was pacing back and forth in front of me.

Hearing that Kaleb was also suffering like me, took me out of my trance a little bit. He was in pain because of me. After hurting Luke, I promised myself that I wasn't going to do it again. And without wanting to, I was doing it. I needed to do something fast. But before I could pull myself out of the zombie mode, Sam was speaking again.

"Tomorrow, Leah is leaving, so tonight we're doing a meeting because she wants to be in it. You know the one we were supposed to do after the gathering. I don't care how you're feeling. In five minutes I want you out of this room, you're going to take a shower, go downstairs, eat something, and tonight, we're going to this meeting because we, the members of the old pack, need to tell the three of you some important things. Okay?" Without waiting to see if I was going to do as he said, he left the room.

I stood up from my bed, stretched, as I was feeling really sore, and went to the bathroom. I took a long shower and, when I got out, I was feeling a little better. I was going to take Sam's advice and put the protection of this tribe as my number one priority. When I got into my room, Luke was waiting for me, sitting on the bed. When he saw me cleaned up and with fresh clothes, a smile spread on his face.

"Good to see you in this world again. I was beginning to believe that some aliens came and stole your brain," he said while picking a spot on his chin and swinging his legs like a little kid. I started to laugh, and it shocked me that I was actually feeling something close to happy. It was still weird; I felt the laugh out of my body, like it was someone else doing it.

"Yeah, I'm back. They decided to release me; my brain wasn't what they were looking for," I said while starting to brush my hair, which was tangled up. Luke gave a small chuckle. "So, how did your date with Cat go?" I saw from the corner of my eye that Luke was eyeing me cautiously. He was probably waiting for me to breakdown again. I was going to do everything possible to keep myself distracted, until tonight of course. When I thought of tonight and seeing him, I felt a strong tug on my heart. I took a deep breath and steadied myself so Luke wouldn't notice any change.

"It went good, the movie wasn't that great, but we kept ourselves entertained, if you know what I mean?" He had an impish look on his face and his eyes were twinkling.

"So things are getting pretty serious?" I asked him with a little wink.

He probably understood my true meaning, because he let out a loud laugh. "Very funny, Ami. But no, we are still on the make-out basis, nothing more. Are you finished brushing your hair, because if you haven't noticed I'm waiting for you so we can go eat. Mom said the food is ready and I'm starving. And so must you, you haven't eaten in two days." His immediate change of topic made me understand that they had probably almost been intimate. I laughed internally and let the teasing pass because I was starving.

We were on our way to the kitchen. "So, what are you doing tonight? I'm going to Cat's house and wondered if you wanted to come. I told her we're talking again and she wants to see you, probably insult you a little bit." He was literally begging me with his eyes.

"I can't, I have this thing to do with Sam." I didn't want to give details, but I knew he was going to ask for them, so I started to invent an excuse.

"A thing with Dad? What can you possibly be doing with him?" We reached the kitchen and Sam was sitting on the table eating. When he saw me, a smile spread across his face. He probably heard what Luke was asking me, because he answered the question for me.

"Oh, Quil asked me to help him make the nursery room for the baby and Ami is helping me with the decorations for the room. You know, I'm not good with colors and baby stuff." Thank God he invented an excuse, because I didn't know what to answer. I looked at Sam and mouthed a thank you. He just gave a little wink.

"Well, too bad. I'll bring Cat tomorrow, she's dying to see you and talk to you. Probably wants to talk about how adoring and dreamy I am." He batted his eyelashes while grinning widely.

Sam and I laughed really loud.

"You're such a dork," I said while hitting him lightly on the shoulder, I didn't want to hurt him. This was why I liked spending time with Luke, his goofiness always made me forget about my problems.

We ate a lot, well I ate triple of what he ate, but he saw it as that I hadn't eaten in more than 24 hours. When we finished, he left for Cat's house, and I stayed with Sam on the kitchen.

"Where's Emily?" I asked him. He was revising some papers, probably for work.

Without stopping to look at the papers he answered, "She's with Leah doing some cousin bonding. They should be here very soon. Leah knows the meeting won't start that late," he said while lifting his gaze from the papers and looking at me intently. "Are you feeling okay? I don't want you to have a breakdown at the meeting. You know the guys will expect you to be a strong Alpha."

"Yeah I know, and I'm strong. You don't have to worry. I'll do everything possible to hold myself together. Is everyone of the old pack going to be there?" I changed the subject because I didn't want to think about Kaleb. The problem was that he was going to be there tonight and I didn't know if I could hide my emotions with him so near.

"Well, yeah, we're all going to be there, except, of course, the ones who aren't living here anymore," he said while looking at his watch, probably getting impatient.

"Were Jacob, Seth, and Embry the only ones who left? Why did they leave? I barely remember them; the one who I would probably recognize is Seth, as he went to Sue's funeral. But still, he didn't spend a lot of time there. I remember he left that same day." I knew I was babbling, but making small conversation was a good distraction, and Sam didn't mind. When I was little, I used to ask a lot of stupid questions, and while Charlie and Sue got tired of me, Sam and Emily would answer every single one of them.

"Yeah, they were the only ones to leave permanently. Other members come and go, you know some went to college or traveled around the states, but they came back and are now living here with their families. But those three left and we haven't heard from them since Quil stopped phasing. Quil, being part of their pack, could hear them," he said while ruffling his long hair with his hand. "And they left because Jake imprinted and left with her when her family decided to move. Seth and Embry left with him because he was their Alpha and best friend. Quil would have left, too, but he couldn't be away from Claire." When he talked about why the three left, he started to fidget with a hole in his pants. He did that when he didn't want to talk about something.

I wanted to keep the small talk, but I remembered that I wanted to ask him something about the legends. "Hey, Sam, can I ask you something? About the legends, are they completely accurate?"

He eyed me suspiciously. "Why do you ask?" he asked while looking at his watch again.

"Well, you and Emily said that the shape-shifters' gene is passed down through the generations. But that can't be true as I turned into a wolf and I'm not Quileute. My mom came from Wisconsin already pregnant, that's what Charlie told me." I finished saying my assumption and expected him to say that the legends had their defects. But instead, he became pale and started to look the other way, afraid to meet my eyes. "Sam is there something I should know?" I questioned with a stern voice. He still hadn't looked at me and I was getting impatient. My hands were shaking a little. There I was, trying to keep up a small conversation with him, and instead, I find out that someone might know something about my mother and mysterious father.

He finally took a deep breath and looked at me. "Okay, you were going to find out sooner or later. Yes the legends are completely true. The wolf gene is passed through the blood. Not everyone can change, only those descendants of Taha Aki. So, yes you have to be Quileute to be a shape-shifter." He became very quiet, waiting for me to react. I felt my brain trying to capture what he just said, but it seemed to be working in slow motion.

"What are you saying? My mom can't be Quileute, she's Charlie's niece. Then my father is from here?" I felt my whole body shake. All these years, I was living a lie. All this time, they knew about my father and kept it from me. I felt like a fool. "Then my mom became pregnant here, didn't she? She wasn't already pregnant when she moved here?" I was almost screaming and tears wanted to pour out of my eyes.

"Ami, is not good to bring the past to the present. Do you really want to know about this?" He cast me a sideways glance, and I nodded yes. "Okay, Elizabeth is Charlie's niece, that is true, just in case. She came here when she was sixteen because she was having problems at school and with her dad, Charlie's brother, so he sent her here. She was a very quiet girl and would spend a lot of time in the house alone. She met one of the guys and they started to go out just as friends, nothing more. We were all in shock when she got pregnant." He sighed deeply. "Ami, that's all I can tell you because she made us promise not to tell you who your father is, or why he left. So please, don't make me break my promise." He finished talking and started to pace around the kitchen.

"So, what are you telling me? That my father is one of the members of the old pack?" I was just too curious and couldn't help but ask.

He stopped pacing and got lost in thoughts. After a while he looked at me again and said, "Yes, but please it would be better if you just dropped it." The last part he said with such force, like an Alpha command, that all I did was stay silent. At least now, I had something to think about that would keep me distracted from the Kaleb situation.

After some more minutes in silence, Leah and Emily arrived with shopping bags. Once Sam gave Emily a light kiss, we left immediately. The meeting was at Jared's house, as it was the biggest, and Kim promised to make us food. On our way over, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about who my father might've been. I knew that it wasn't either Sam, Paul, Quil, or Jared because they imprinted before my mom came here. Also, Paul couldn't be, as I imprinted on Kaleb, and that would be disgusting to imprint on your half brother. But there were so many others that I didn't know that well. And also, the ones who left, it couldn't be Jacob as he also imprinted. But what if he was one of them, the ones who imprinted, and I was kept in secret for the fact that their imprints would be hurt. This was too complicated; I knew one thing for sure: no matter what Sam said, I was going to ask them to tell me the complete truth tonight. That was, if I didn't lose it when I saw Kaleb.

God he was going to be there, what was I going to do if he approached me again?


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