Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya, I'm back^^ Sorry for the delay . I went to visit my fiancé in the US and right after that I went to the South of France, near Cannes with my family.^^ Additionally I became auntie, my bro became papa and his baby...she is so cute and gorgeous!! 0.o I wonder how in the hell human beings can create such a creature, quite a miracle isn't it?
Anyways back to point, as usual thank you for your reviews, I'll try to update whenever I can, but I am slowly returning to my "student-life", oh yes, studying the SAT... I wonder why in the hell such a nonsense was created, anyhow I will do my best and beat the shit out it!!^^ I am motivated, my fiancé is also pushing me, he bought me all sorts of book, what a nerd, but a smexy nerd... Oh god! Did I just write that?!? 0.o Just ignore what I said and enjoy the read^^ R&R
CHAPTER TWELVE
- Confusion and frustration -
After that "tormenting but heartbreaking" event as Shiratori would call it, another month flew by and it was December and the coldest winter ever. Why another month? Well, Shiratori decided to forget and partially avoid Kate about this whole unpleasant moment. He had to admit it was torture. Not one night passed where he wasn't longing for her. He found it increasingly difficult to focus on work, even to sit still next to her or even remain in the same room! How could such a reckless moment bring about such mayhem into his life?! That's where he had an unpleasant confrontation with truth.
"I told you, you like her Shiratori, denying it will hurt more." Hirota said as both men walked around the police department to pick up some reports at the reception.
"I can't make a move on her, Hirota! She'll reject me without a doubt!"
"How do you know? What about your "tormenting but heartbreaking" moment with her?"
Shiratori groaned and rubbed his face in frustration.
"She was drunk and I heard her mumble about her murdered husband! And she told me I smelled like him!"
"Ohh. That's why you changed your cologne."
Shiratori nodded iciliy. He hated to be identified as Kate's murdered husband.
"But giving her the silent treatment doesn't necessarily improve the case."
"I am not giving her the silent treatment, Hirota! I am just distancing myself a bit from her. If we had gotten any closer after the so-called "event" I wouldn't have been able to control myself."
They came to the reception and picked up the reports and took the elevator. Hirota sighed and patted Shiratori's shoulder.
"My friend, whether you like it or not, you are in love with her."
Shiratori froze and stared in utter disbelief at his working colleague. The wise and slightly chubby but authoritarian Hirota spoke his final doubled-edged words which left Shiratori in a sense or another traumatized by the reality of this situation.
Kate had decided to stay in Shiratori's apartment for the day. She was tired and so was little Yosuke. Another month had passed and her relationship to Shiratori had considerably worsened. She remembered it happened right after the tête-à-tête dinner she had with him. What happened? Did she do anything to him?
These four weeks, she had spent thinking about what possibly caused his awkward and reserved behaviour. Finally the solution came to her mind. How could she be so dumb! Her dream about making-out with her husband was maybe a dream, but the person she was kissing and touching (no wonder it felt so real!) was in fact... Shiratori?! She covered her mouth with mixed feelings. No wonder she found herself sleeping on his bed! That's why he was avoiding her! He was confused, maybe annoyed about her actions!
To some degree she remembered that he changed his cologne. She gasped. How could she be so stupid and so blind!?
She decided to change into some warmer clothes, take her little one and dress him into a warm bundle and leave Shiratori's apartment.
"Shiratori, are you sure you are okay?" asked Takagi with genuine concern as he walked over from his desk to join Shiratori's.
He did notice Shiratori's unusual mood pattern this past month and was concerned about the causes despite that he regarded him as his rival. However he noticed Shiratori's growing disinterest for Sato which was a relief for Takagi but was also a worrying matter. Why was Shiratori disinterested in Sato? Shiratori merely looked at Takagi with a subdued face.
"What do you want, Takagi?" he replied with a curt tone while he was tidying his table and setting order to his reports.
"You seem really down lately."
"No really?! I didn't know!" he snapped with thick sarcasm which made his colleagues cringe in fear except Takagi who just stood there trying to deduct the cause of his mood.
"Takagi kun." Called Hirota in a chuckle as he patted Takagi's shoulder. "I wouldn't bother about Shiratori, he's in such a foul mood it would even scare the evil spirits away."
Now that Hirota mentioned this, indeed a black and threatening aura was surrounding Shiratori which would explain why none of his working colleagues ever talked to him in the past month. Only Takagi seemed courageous or oblivious enough to talk to him. All the working colleagues were expecting that he would pull out a gun and shoot Takagi without mercy.
"What's wrong with him Hirota sempai?" asked Takagi and Hirota waved his hand dismissively.
"Oh don't worry. He's been having a rough month." He said but then decided to whisper. "It's actually a very small problem."
"Is it about a woman?"
Shiratori briskly stood up, knocking over his chair and causing all attention to be focused on him. Oh-oh, he's going to blow! Even Hirota seemed a bit nervous about Shiratori's attitude. He just stood there, his face lowered with a dark shade covering his eyes. He appeared unusually composed for being angry and he released a breath.
"I prefer that you stick your long nose into a case rather than my personal matters, Takagi."
Takagi received a jolt of fear as he saw the death glare of Shiratori. Now he understood why nobody ever dared to oppose him, he was a friggen' demon!
"Now if you don't mind, return to your delayed paperwork which is due for the next hour. Megure kebu is expecting that paperwork by noon."
Without a word or a fuss Takagi returned to his desk and hastily worked on his report. The entire room released a relieved breath, he didn't explode thank God.
"Superintendant!" called an employee from the other department across the room. "A certain Kate Spencer wants to meet you."
Shiratori literally froze as he saw Kate walking into the office with her son in her arms. All men were gawking at this foreign beauty. There is no denying she was so damn beautiful!
"K-kate? What are you doing here?" he stammered, this was totally unexpected and that was the last thing he was expecting to ever happen today or anytime.
"Shiratori, sorry to disturb you, but may I talk to you in private?"
He couldn't find the words, he still was disbelieved.
"Ah! So you must be Kate Spencer." Intervened Hirota gladly and shook her hand.
"And you must be Hirota san, Shiratori talks a lot about you."
He found her smile so mesmerizing.
"This must be Yosuke, he is way cuter than I expected." Chuckled Hirota as he warmly looked at this little one. "Do you want me to take care of him while you talk?"
Kate was delighted and handed over Yosuke to Hirota, who she could tell was a good father. Yosuke right away felt at home with Hirota.
"Uhm, lets find a place to talk, follow me." Suggested Shiratori and walked out of the office and went into the nearby lounge on the same floor.
They sat on these comfortable lounge chairs across of each other but far in the corner. The break lounge was empty. Everybody was in the middle of work.
"Do you want something to drink?"
She shook her head.
"I already had a coffee on the way here."
He got up to get himself a canned coffee at the vending machine. He glanced back at her, she was in deep thoughts, did she realize something? He returned to his seat and opened the can to take a sip.
"I have something to tell you." She began and her emerald orbs became serious. "In the past months I have noticed something. I don't know if it is related to the case, my husband's case, but I felt I was followed."
"Followed?" Shiratori immediately turned to his usual sharp-minded self.
"Yes, followed by somebody, but every time I looked back, that person disappeared."
"How do you know you were followed?"
"I noticed him as I was powdering my face, I saw his reflection through my mirror. It was a slender young man with shades on, dressed up not too fancy and not too casual either."
"Are you sure he was following you?" inquired Shiratori and pulled forth his little notebook to scribble something. "I could be some young foolish stalker that took a liking for you."
"That could be a possibility, I am a foreigner and young Japanese men probably like that sort, but..."
"What?"
Her eyes took a serious tinge again combined with some concern.
"He's been following me for a long time." She confessed which triggered Shiratori's concern.
"A long time?! How long?"
"Maybe since I started living with you."
Shiratori paused to think over this matter. If he would be a stalker, wouldn't he consider establishing some contact with her and maybe make some advancements? This stalker however never did. Who was that fellow?
"Did he follow you here?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't know, I took a cab from your home till here."
"Did you feel that he followed you to my place?"
"I don't think he ever did, I would regularly pretend to powder my face in the cab or elsewhere, all I know that soon as I stepped out of a shopping or public area and returned to your place, he would leave me alone."
There again, he could be some foolish stalker, but it was strange at the same time that he continuously followed her around and never communicated with her. Should he report this to Megure kebu?
"This is a strange, I would have to notify Megure kebu about this."
However Kate reacted extremely defensive.
"No don't!"
This puzzled Shiratori, did he maybe already make an advance on her and threatened her if she leaked anything to the police?
"Did he threaten you?"
Kate shook her head immediately.
"No, he didn't, but that's the point."
Shiratori raised a confused brow.
"If he was a threat to me he should have made his move already, but he never did. He doesn't appear to be a menace but something else."
"What do you mean Kate?"
"He could be a clue to my husband's death."
Shiratori groaned.
"That's what I was trying to say Kate! He could be an important piece to solve this mystery! –
-But catching him will not solve the case!"
Shiratori stared at her, was she siding with him?!
"No I am not taking his side, Shiratori. As long as he doesn't do any harm to me, it could mean he is inoffensive."
Shiratori gave a scornful chuckle.
"You are so naive Kate! Criminals whether they are robbers or stalkers, they always deceive, that's their job!"
"Regardless of that Shiratori! He seems to follow me with an intention and I believe that is to protect me!"
Shiratori stared at her once more, is she suffering from Stockholm syndrome?! Or is she just spouting utter nonsense?
"So if he were your guardian, where was he at the time where you were momentarily contained by these robbers in the shopping mall?"
Kate opened and closed her mouth. She hasn't thought about that. If this man were her guardian then why didn't he save her?
"You see Kate, let a professional take care of this affair. He might appear harmless but who knows what he might pull out of his sleeve if you were alone in a backstreet or something."
Kate bit her lip and lowered her eyes, she was anxious.
"But what if I help you?" she asked in a small voice. "I can be a bait, or something."
"Kate that would be the most reckless act. Your husband's murderer's are out there, they destroyed your house and if they found out that there are still survivors, they would do anything to kill off the rest."
Kate bit her lip, Shiratori was right.
"But I didn't do anything, I don't know what the hell my husband was doing, I wasn't involved!" she exclaimed with defiance and frustration.
Shiratori was also wondering about this. She appeared to be oblivious about her husband's activities, so why would they want to kill her off? What's their motive? Is there more behind this case than just a murder? Shiratori had a deep unsettling feeling about this, he feared a lot more was at risk than just her life. Additionally why did he feel that she was hiding something, he didn't know if it was intentionally or not. Yet he preferred for the right time to come, maybe there all his questions will be answered.
Suddenly he felt her sit next to him, he became slightly rigid and stared at her in confusion.
"Concerning more personal matters, uhm... I want to apologize about whatever I did to you after our dinner a month ago."
"Apologize?" he can't believe he even voiced that out.
He felt it was unnecessary to apologize, he loved the fact that they made-out on his bed, or that it actually even happened, despite that she was drunk and unaware who she was kissing or touching.
"I know what happened between us, Shiratori, you don't have to deny it." She looked at Shiratori straight into the eye which made Shiratori embarassed.
"We made-out on your bed."
Thank God, he wasn't blushing but he was sure that Kate was completely aware how uncomfortable he was.
"It seems like I must accept your offer." She admitted with composure.
Shiratori was gaping at this response. What in the devil's name happened here?! Was he dreaming?! Unexpectedly she whisked over and placed a kiss on his lips and withdrew herself from the seat. She smiled like nothing happened, while Shiratori just kept staring, utterly disbelieved.
"I think we should head back to your office, I have to check if Yosuke is okay."
Without a word he complied and walked alongside her.
As they were close to the entrance of the office, quite briskly he was torn into the dark cleaning closet.
"K-Kate, what are you doing?" he stammered with bewilderment.
He felt her fingers pressed on his lip hushing him down and before he could utter a word Kate energetically crushed her lips on his. Now he was completely confused. What the hell was going on?! She forced her body against his so that his back touched the wall. He didn't know what to do! She pressed her knee between his thigh giving him a jolt which woke him up to the reality. Her hands glided over his clothed but heated chest. Oh my – holy shit!
"Kate-mhh-whatmhh-the-meaning-mhha-of-this?" he tried uttering between the kisses trying his hardest not to give away that he was turned on which proved to be a failure.
His breath was erratic and hitched whenever her knee twitched between his thigh, his heart was pounding and his desires were growing at a dangerous speed. She stopped in her actions, he felt her pounding heart against his chest and felt her panting warm breath on his parted lips.
"I want you right now..." she breathed in a lusty voice.
Oh good lord! This is not helping the situation at all! Instead it just turned him on even more and if it weren't for his discipline and rationality he would take her now without a fuss!
Her hand found itself in his hair and her lips were teasing his earlobe. He had to stop, right now! He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her away from his body.
"Kate, stop it right now!" he panted in a husky voice which gave away how much he wanted her too. "This is not the right time or location Kate! And what possessed you to do this in a middle of such a critical case! For goodness sake I am supposed to protect you and not be used – for this!"
Kate became very still. Despite that it was pitch black, he could feel that she was shocked of his outburst. All of this only seemed to burden him and cause greater confusion with his thoughts. He knows his feelings for her, but it feels so damn wrong to do this, even his conscience was ringing the alarm loudly. Also a combination of doubts about her honesty was another factor to be considered.
"The worst of it Kate, is that you know -- I can't resist you." He whispered to her ear in defiance and left the closet and headed back to the office.
Kate arrived 15~20 minutes later after Shiratori arrived in the office. She claimed she had gone to the bathroom which could or (not) be true, but Shiratori was amazed how natural and undisturbed she behaved as if that "scandalous" event never happened. With a cheery face she said her last "byes" to all officers and to Shiratori included and left the office for the day.
"I am doomed."
"What is that you said Shiratori?" repeated Hirota, mishearing Shiratori's mumble.
"I need to get my reports done otherwise I am doomed."
"Oh... okay." Responded Hirota with some doubt in his tone as he observed the unusually pensive and troubled state of Shiratori.
"So my deduction wasn't false!" realized Hirota as he and Shiratori made their way to the parking garage. "She did make-out with you AGAIN!"
Shiratori alarmingly hushed down Hirota's loud talk.
"Keep it down! She was the one who forced herself on me! It was too much for me at that moment so I rejected her!"
"You...rejected her?!" repeated Hirota unable to comprehend why Shiratori acted this way.
"Hirota, imagine you were in my shoes, caught up with this case which is not what it seems and additionally you doubt her too. I feel - I don't know what to do!"
Again the frustration clouded his features, Hirota wondered how such a young man be confronted with so many obstacles. The point was he was a man of principle and rationality, these are the key elements which make an officer but he rarely separated his police-mode from his lovelife. His duty comes first and its admirable, but in situation of love, duty is worthless and may shatter relationships. Yup, love is first and duty is second.
However in this case, Hirota knew that it was a wise move of Shiratori to reject her. Indeed this case is taking a strange turn and he had to admit that he could see why Shiratori doubted Kate's trustworthiness.
As they stood in front of Shiratori's car which was exchanged for a black Bentley a month ago, Hirota soothingly patted Shiratori's back.
"Nevertheless it was a wise move that you rejected her, who knows what she might be denying or hiding if she tempted you like that." Assured Hirota which comforted Shiratori. "I was there when you reported about that strange stalker to Megure kebu and I understand what you are getting at about the case "is not what it seems". I have the same feeling that there is something greater involved than the victim's husband. That's why Shiratori, you may tag along, but you must remain vigilant of her actions, behaviours, body languages and even speech patterns. She herself may be the key to this case."
