Shi no Seikatsu: Kaminari Kitsune no bōken
(Life in Death: The Adventures of the Thunder Fox)
(死の生活:雷狐の冒険)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach. Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto and all things related to it, and Tite Kubo owns all that is Bleach. This story is simply a product of envy and admiration towards those with the proper ownership to the two series.
Chapter 11: An Old Friend and the Number One Firework Maker!
"Hey, that ain't right." Ichimaru Gin said before a huge gash appeared on Jidanbō's right arm, and a massive amount of blood gushed out of it, causing him to cry out in pain and the arm to go limp, sending him onto one knee trying to keep the gate open.
"Jidanbō!" Ichigo yelled while Naruko narrowed her eyes at the captain, who now was in a crouched down stance. 'That attack…it was his Zanpakutō, its fast.'
"That ain't right. The gatekeeper ain't here to open the gate." Gin said as he stood back up.
'This isn't good. The kids aren't ready to fight a captain yet, and I don't want to step in more than I have to.' Naruko thought to herself.
"I lost. A defeated gatekeeper opening the gate makes perfect sense!" Jidanbō said, breathing heavily while trying to keep the gate open.
"What you talkin' 'bout? A defeated gatekeeper don't open no gate." Gin said walking towards them. "When a gatekeeper's defeated, it means death."
Then Ichigo was attacking, forcing Gin to draw and block with his Zanpakutō before they both pushed back.
"I-ICHIGO!" Yoruichi exclaimed in worry.
"Easy Yoruichi, if it gets too much for him I'll step in." Naruko calmed her.
"What the hell're you doing you sonuvabitch?! Don't come out afterward and expect to give orders! You fox-faced bastard!" Ichigo yelled at Gin and pointing his cleaver of a Zanpakutō at him.
"HEY! I take offense to that!"
"Any piece o' shit who attacks an unarmed man without a second thought…is mine to kill." He continued ignoring Naruko's comment.
"Heh, what a funny kid. Ain't you scared o' me?" Gin asked.
"Not one BIT!"
"Hey Ichigo! Stop playing around, we're backing off, we'll find another way in." Naruko called out.
"Huh?! What for?! The fight's just starting! I can't let this fool think he beat me! Don't worry. I'll end it in one sec-" Ichigo retorted before Gin spoke.
"You're Kurosaki Ichigo?"
"You know about me?"
"Oh, so it really is you." He said before turning and starting to walk away. Naruko's eyes followed his every move, she was sure he was up to something.
"H-H-Hey! Where're you going?! Hey wait!" Ichigo yelled at him.
"Then all the more reason I can't let you through here." Gin said as he stopped and pulled out his blade.
"Why'd you go so far away? You gonna throw that wakizashi?" Ichigo asked.
"It ain't a wakizashi. This here's my Zanpakutō." He responded before spinning around and settling into a thrust position, holding his Zanpakutō close as a pressure came down on the area.
"Ikorose, Shin-" He started saying but had to stop as Naruko appeared in front of him, with her blade ready to cut him in two. Bringing up his sword he was barely in time to block.
"Mah mah, I really don't think that's necessary. You can relax; we'll back off for now. No need to risk your life quite yet, Ichimaru Gin. Rangiku-san would be awfully sad if you died and didn't keep your promise now wouldn't she?" She said, dropping down to a whisper at the last sentence.
Gin's eyes widened, showing his bright sky blue eyes, and his smile disappeared before he pushed her away. 'This girl…how does she know about that?'
"Ok then, as long as you don't try to get through here…" He said, his smile and eyes back to normal. Naruko simply nodded before sheathing her sword and turning back to Ichigo, who looked miffed that she'd taken his fight, kicked him, sending him flying back out through the gate, causing the others to exclaim their worry.
Passing Jidanbō she told him to lower the gate, which with a nod he did. Before the gate finished closing Gin walked up to it and bending down, waved. "Bye-bye!"
Naruko shook her head; Gin was someone she probably could have had a lot of fun with. "Heh, grinning, an act of intimidation." She said, commenting on his near constant grin.
"OWWWW!" Ichigo exclaimed as he rubbed his head, sitting some distance from the gate.
"You okay Ichigo?" Naruko asked with a snicker while the others crowded around him. "I didn't think I hit you that hard."
Ichigo just looked towards the gate while grumbling about "Blonde bastards who kicks too hard."
"Be glad you're alright." Yoruichi said. "If Naruko hadn't intervened you could have died, you aren't ready to face a captain yet."
Ichigo just nodded while standing up and asking Inoue to help him patch Jidanbō up, before everybody noticed people starting to come out of the houses around the street.
"What's with them?" Tatsuki asked.
"They're afraid of us. Souls that come to Soul Society improperly, without the guidance of shinigami, are called Ryoka and are thought to be the source of all sorts of disasters." Yoruichi explained as the souls looked at them, and causing Chad and Inoue to go into a alerted stances.
"Please wait." An old voice said. Naruko's eyes widened when she heard that voice, a voice she recognized even after so long. Turning, she froze as she saw an old man with short spiked grey hair and goatee. He was dressed in a yellow kimono with a dark blue vest over it.
"I am the chief of Rukongai." The old man said as he bowed to slightly to them before turning to Naruko and smiling sadly. "Hello Naruko-chan."
"H-Hokage-jiji." Naruko said, her voice cracking as tears sprung to her eyes.
After getting Jidanbō healed, which Orihime did splendidly and Chad went somewhere with Shibata, the boy who had been stuck in the cockatiel, Naruko was sitting with Hiruzen alone, having asked the others to give them a moment.
"Jiji I-"
"Naruko-chan, I know what you want to say, but that was a long time ago. And I do not blame you, and never have. You had every reason to act as you did."
"But still! The last thing I did to you before you died was yell at you!" Naruko yelled at him before breaking down crying. The late Hokage moved over and embraced Naruko who clung to him and cried out her sadness on his shoulder.
"It's okay Naruko-chan, it's okay."
Once Naruko finally was able to get her tears under control she sat back, chuckling slightly.
"Heh, look at me. Over two thousand years old and crying like a little girl."
"It's fine Naruko-chan, it's good to cry sometimes."
Naruko hugged him again, murmuring "I'm sorry." Before standing up and getting the others so they could plan, feeling much better then she had in a while.
"Say what?! We're giving up breaking through the gate?!" Ichigo asked as they all sat in Hiruzen's house.
"We're not giving up. The gate having been opened once, interior security must be tighter than ever before. That means using the same tactic again is not a good idea." Yoruichi responded.
"I feel the same." Ishida agreed.
"What about the other gates?" Chad asked.
"There would be no significant difference from this one." Naruko said.
"Then what should we do?" Tatsuki asked.
"If the gates are no good, it just means we'll break in from somewhere other than the gates." Yoruichi explained.
"Elder-dono, do you know Shiba Kūkaku?" She asked, turning to Hiruzen.
"Yes, I know Kūkaku, quite the lively one that one. And please, call me Hiruzen."
"Apparently, Shiba likes to change residence at the drop of a hat. I can't figure out where the fool is now."
"So, you plan on using that to get inside the wall." Hiruzen said.
"That?" Inoue asked before a loud sound was heard, sounding like a herd of horses galloping.
"What's that sound?" Ichigo questioned, before the door flew open and a man came flying in and landing on his face.
"Owwww." The man said
"Oh? Who's this?" Naruko asked, right as a big boar walked in.
"A boar! Why? How come there's a boar?!" Ichigo asked, seemingly stupefied.
"Man oh man, my Bonnie-chan threw me off again." The strange man said after he got up and dusted himself off. "Yo! Long time no see, old dude!"
"Ganju-kun? What are you doing at this hour? Shouldn't you be heading home?"
"What the heck? I visit you for the first time in ages and that's how you greet me? Your guests are shocked." Ganju asked before spotting Ichigo.
"What's this? Why is there a piece o' shit shinigami-sama in a place like this?"
"What?
"Don't what me. I asked why is there is a piece o' shit shinigami-sama in a place like this?!"
"Oh look, two idiots butting heads, anyone have some popcorn?" Naruko asked with a grin right as Ichigo sent Ganju flying with a left hook, effectively starting a yelling match.
"Oh no, we have to stop them!" Orihime said.
"Stop them?! This is grade A entertainment Inoue!" Naruko said, now munching on some popcorn she found god knows where.
"Yare, yare. I knew it would turn out like this." Hiruzen sighed and sipped his tea.
"This is no time for sipping tea! Who the heck is that guy?" Ishida said heatedly.
"You bastards, you say you don't know me?" Ganju asked, getting affirmatives from everyone.
"Heh. No choice then, I'll tell ya. My name is Ganju! Self-proclaimed, The Deep Crimson Bullet of West Rukongai! Self-proclaimed, Number One Want-To-Call-Him-Big-Brother of West Rukongai for 14 years! And finally…Self-proclaimed, Number One Shinigami-Hater of West Rukongai!" He introduced himself, sending Naruko to the floor laughing and getting exclamations of disbelief for everything being Self-proclaimed.
"It…doesn't really…give you any credit…when it's all…self-proclaimed!" Naruko told him in between peals of laughter.
"Hmph! What a hopeless loser!" Ichigo said, effectively starting the fight again, with Ganju ramming Ichigo out into the street. Orihime, Chad, Ishida and Tatsuki tried to go help but were stopped by Ganju's gang, who were all riding boars.
"Stop that Ichigo. Don't waste your energy on a meaningless fight!" Yoruichi said after Ichigo kicked Ganju off him.
"He's the one who picked the fight. If you wanna stop it, talk to him."
"Stop this Ganju, he isn't a bad shinigami!" Hiruzen said as he and Naruko came outside to see Ganju pull out his sword, which was broken shortly after the hilt, similar to how Ichigo's sword had been.
"Uruse! A shinigami is a shinigami. There's no good or bad about it." Ganju retorted, getting a sigh from Hiruzen, and rushed Ichigo.
"Ichigo doesn't have his Zanpakutō." Tatsuki said, right before Chad came running up behind them and threw Zangetsu to Ichigo, getting a "Thank you." From him.
"That's big. That's your Zanpakutō? But…" Ganju said as he slashed at Ichigo, who blocked it by putting his sword against the ground vertically and bracing with his left arm. "…don't think you can beat me just with the size of your sword!"
Ganju drew a circle with his feet on the ground around Ichigo's sword, before pulling it down; causing it to sink like it was in quicksand.
"SINK!" He yelled, pulling it down to the hilt. He went to kick Ichigo while he was stunned, but Naruko appeared, balancing with one hand on the top of Ichigo's sword and blocking his kick with the other, before performing a split and kicking them both back.
"Okay that's enough kids, break it off." She said righting herself and pulling Zangetsu out of the ground and throwing it to Ichigo. "Ichigo, Yoruichi is right, save your energy, you're going to need every bit of it."
Seeing Ichigo look behind her and hearing footsteps fast approaching she tilted her head slightly to the left, dodging a fist from Ganju before spinning and swiping his feet out from under him. Then grabbing his arm while he was floating horizontally facing the ground she kneed him in the stomach before flipping over him and bringing his arm over her shoulder, flinging him down the street.
"Tch, bakayarō, don't try sneaking up on me. I learned stealth before you were even a glimmer in your great granddads eye. Oh and sorry if a broke something."
Ganju just groaned from where he was laying, while everyone else except Yoruichi and Hiruzen was wide-eyed, mouths agape. To them she'd simply been standing still facing Ichigo with Ganju running up behind her and then Ganju was flying back to where he started.
All of a sudden a clock on one of Ganju's goons back started ringing, causing Ganju to spring up asking what time it was.
"We're in trouble, Aniki! It's already nine!"
Freaking out Ganju called on his boar who jumped over Ichigo (Naruko had moved back to the others), barely missing him by an inch, and crashed to a stop, sending Ganju flying again, causing a big skid mark.
"Nice hit, Bonnie-chan. But we don't have time today. Hurry up and gimme a ride!" Ganju said, only for Bonnie to rush him and send him up in the air and land on the now running boar while he and Ichigo traded some final insults.
Ichigo went flying out of Hiruzen's house, crashing into the wall on the opposite side. He had told them to go on ahead and he would catch up after settling things with "that bitch-ass from yesterday" and Naruko had promptly grabbed him by the hair and thrown him outside.
"Did that kick I gave you yesterday rattle your head and make you forget why we came here to begin with?! But hey if you want to forget about that and have a dick measuring contest with that guy go right ahead, leave Rukia to her death!" She yelled at him, as he got up facing away.
"Naruko, I-"
"If you get it then get ready to move out!"
A while later they were walking, looking for Kūkaku's house with Yoruichi telling them if she'd recognize it immediately if she saw it, just before she actually spotted it.
"Oh, there it is. That's it."
The house they finally found was a normal Japanese house, just like any other house in Rukongai, however it differed in that it had a huge chimney behind it, and in front of it was two stones shaped into arms and hands that held a banner which said "Shiba Kūkaku".
"See? Instantly recognizable, no?" Yoruichi said while Ishida and Ichigo freaked about how it looked.
"Hmm, so this time it's a person's arms holding the banner. I like it!" Naruko said.
"Come on, let's go." Yoruichi said and started walking followed by the others while Ichigo and Ishida were seemingly frozen in horror.
"What's wrong? Hurry up!" Tatsuki told them.
Reaching the house a pair of voices sounded. "HALT!"
"Who are you infidels?!" One of the voices said, as two people appeared on the top of the fists that held the banner.
"What strange garb you wear! And I see one of you is a shinigami!" The other said before they jumped down in front of them.
"Suspicious strangers, I, Koganehiko and …"
"I, Shiroganehiko…"
"…shall never let you pass!" They yelled together.
"Oi, Ko, Shiro, no need to get violent." Naruko said as she walked past Ichigo.
"NARUKO-DONO!" They exclaimed before spotting Yoruichi on her shoulder. "YORUICHI-DONO!"
"Oh dear, we were so rude to you. We had no idea you were Yoruichi-dono and Naruko-dono's companions. Please forgive our insolence." Koganehiko said as he led them down the house while his brother stayed outside.
"It's fine. We're partly to blame for not contacting you beforehand." Yoruichi said as she led the way.
"As you wish. You're so great, and so thoughtful." Koganehiko said as they reached the ground floor and stopped outside a door.
"Please wait here a moment." He said before a thump and a couple of clapping noises were heard.
"H-Hai! Right away, Kūkaku-sama." He said and sitting down on his knees, slid the door open, revealing a near empty room with a woman inside, sitting on a pair of pillows.
She had green eyes and wore bandages over her long messy black hair that parted down in half at the small of her back. She wore a white skirt and a provocative red robe exposing a lot of cleavage. She had a tattoo on her left arm and her right arm was a prosthetic arm. She had bandages around her right shoulder and both ankles. She also had a katana with a pale orange hilt and a rectangular tsuba, the corners of which curve inwards, attached to the back of where her real right arm ended.
"Yo. Long time no see, Yoruichi, Naruko." She greeted.
"K-Kūkaku's a woman?!" The others exclaimed while Naruko and Yoruichi looked at them like they were stupid.
"No one said she was a man." Naruko said.
"Hm? What's with the kids?" Kūkaku asked.
"Actually Kūkaku, we've come today to ask a favor." Yoruichi explained.
"You generally do when you come here."
"Aw c'mon Kūkaku, that's not true! Atleast not in my case, we've had so much fun just getting drunk of our asses and sharing stories!" Naruko retorted.
Laughing Kūkaku agreed before asking. "Is it trouble?"
"Probably." Yoruichi responded.
"Heh, long time since we've talked like this, too. Okay, let's hear it. I love trouble."
"I see. I think I get the situation." Kūkaku said and took a puff on her pipe. "A 'right. I accept."
"Yes I get to go in it again!" Naruko exclaimed.
"Yeah. And if Urahara's got his teeth in this, too, I couldn't say no if I wanted to. One thing though." Kūkaku said and stood up. "I trust you two, but, that doesn't mean I trust those kids. Among other things, as insurance, I'm gonna stick one of my minions with you."
"Minion?" Tatsuki asked.
"Yah. Well, I call him minion, but it's my otōto. He's still a useless brat, though." She said as she walked to a side door. "Hey, you ready?"
"U-uh huh, wait a sec." A voice said. A voice that made Naruko want to roll on the floor laughing, but she held it in, just to see the others faces.
"I'm opening it, be on your best behavior!"
"G-Gotcha."
Kūkaku slid the door open, showing…Ganju, sitting on his knees bowing his head.
"A pleasure to meet you. I am called Shiba Ganju. Please think of me if you need anything." He said before looking up and opening his eyes. Naruko couldn't hold it when she saw the faces of everyone and Ichigo and Ganju started screaming and pointing to each other and started laughing hard, falling on the floor.
"What? You two know each other?" Kūkaku asked as she looked confused between them.
After Ichigo and Ganju had fought, again, and broken Kūkaku's pipe, causing her to go ballistic and destroy a big portion of the house up with a kido and then giving them a lecture about "jacking the house up", they were walking down a long well lit corridor.
"Amazing. How come there's light even though we're underground? I didn't see any power facilities." Ishida marveled.
"We have firefly creepers in the holes in the ceiling and inside the frames on both sides." Kūkaku answered.
"Firefly creepers? Is that a plant or something that only exists in Soul Society?" Ishida asked, getting ignored as they arrived to a door.
"We're here. This is it." Kūkaku said
"Ano…" Ishida tried but got ignored again.
"Open it, Ganju!"
"Hai!" Ganju said and went to open the door as Ishida again tried to get Kūkaku's attention only for Ichigo to stop him and tell him to not upset her.
With a cry of effort Ganju got the door open, showing a large, dark room with only a big pillar-looking structure on top of a platform.
"What the hell is that?" Ichigo asked.
"This is how I'm gonna get you guys into Seireitei. From the sky, that is." Kūkaku explained.
"THE SKY?!" Tatsuki, Ishida and Ichigo exclaimed.
"My name is Shiba Kūkaku, Rukongai's Number One Firework Maker!"
AN: Aaaaaand cut! Thats chapter 12 for ya! Bet you didn't think I'd make Hiruzen the chief elder huh? Well I did 'cause I'm a genius! *sage nod* I liked doing this chapter, both Gin and Kūkaku are fucking awesome and that "Bye-bye!" by Gin is one of my favorite scenes ever in an anime. Oh and to anyone wondering (since i haven't touched on it in the actual story), the Ichigo and the gang don't know that Yoruichi "the cat", and Yoruichi "Naruko's girlfriend" are the same, they simply think they have the same name. I also started the prologue for this fic, first chapter if up so go check that out if you're interested and haven't already, it'll probably be what i update next. I also MIGHT start the Shisui no Isan story, though I'd change the pairing from Naruto/FemHaku to Naruto/Ryūzetsu.
Gemu no zakari: I can completely understand and respect that and I thank you for reading as long as you have/will. Shikamaru will appear pretty soon but there won't be a relationship until after the Rescue arc.
Yuri-Hime-Chan: I wouldn't say Gin has the most underpowered blade, it's actually quite powerful, just doesn't have many abilities but then, Ichigo's doesn't either. If anything i'd call it underrated.
Till next time, Cuius of Caelum.
