Sorry to keep you guys waiting so long. More to come this weekend :)

Robins Apartment the next Morning

Barney had already sneaked out when Robin woke up the next morning. He always did that, so it shouldn't have surprised her, yet she had expected him to still be there.

She checked her phone, no new messages. Next she checked the living room, no note either.

She fully comprehended the extent of their problems while taking a shower. There was no evidence of them being a real couple whatsoever; the Bureau of Consular Affairs wouldn't even have to try hard to convict them.

Just thinking about the possible consequences made her sick.

She left the apartment half an hour later, Lily and her had planned to meet up for breakfast. She would have rather stayed in bed all day, but she pulled herself together and didn't cancel.

Lily was already waiting at a nice street café, waving her over. Robin smiled and walked towards her.

"Good morning new home owner" Robin greeted Lily, it didn't sound fake. Good.

"Hey you! You got to try the croissants here, they are really tasty!"

"That sounds good, I am starving!" Robin started to read the menu.

They ordered a minute later.

"Did you hear anything from Barney?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, his plane was delayed, that's why he couldn't make it." Robin lied.

"Plane? Where was he?"

"Guatemala. Anyways, have you thought about what you are going to do about the second bathroom?"

"Hold on. What was Barney doing in Guatemala?" Lily asked.

"Some work thing." Robin shrugged.

"Does he go to Central America often?"

"No clue. "

"What does he do for a living anyways?" Lily asked.

"No idea." And he'll probably have to kill me if I ever found out, Robin thought.

"Guatemala sounds like a dangerous place for someone like Barney to be. I mean he get's beaten up just going to his favorite bar."

"He sounded pretty alive when we talked. So second bathroom, are you still planning on painting the walls grey?" Robin tried to change the subject ones again.

McLarens the later that night

"How was your day?" Marshall asked as he sat down next to his wife, greeting her with a kiss.

"We had breakfast, and went shopping. Did you know that you can get tiles in wood optic?" Lily responded.

"No I didn't. I'd say we hold off on all that though." Marshall tried to curb his wife's enthusiasm.

"Sure…we just got samples anyways."

"Hey Robin, shouldn't you be looking for a job?" Marshall asked.

"Oh common, taking one day off to go shopping is not going to hurt." Robin defended herself.

"Sure, one day wouldn't hurt. It's just. It seems like you haven't been looking much at all. Last week you went on two tourist cruises, visited three museums, and took a tour of the New York Stock Exchange."

"I did not." Robin replied.

Marshall didn't back down and so Robin confessed.

"I didn't take a tour of the NYSE." Cause they wouldn't admit her due to her 'criminal' background, but obviously she wasn't going to tell them that.

"My point is: Aren't you taking this too lightly? I mean you are here on a working visa; they will revoke that if you don't find a job within your field. You know that, right?"

"Jesus Marshall, relax." Robin said, getting up to buy another round. She felt her cell vibrate as she was waiting on the beers.

We need 2 talk. Can u come over?

Her heart rate immediately accelerated. This didn't sound good at all.

Sure, I'll be there in 25.

"Actually Carl, can you just bring them to the table?" she asked, the bartender nodded.

"Sorry guys, gotta run." She called out to Marshall and Lily before leaving the bar.

"Wow, you think she left because I mentioned her stagnating job hunt?" Marshall wondered out loud.

"I doubt it." Lily shrugged, "maybe something important came up."

"Something named Barney?" Marshall grinned.

"Probably." Lily replied, with an equally wide grin.

Barney Apartment

"Wow, you got here fast," were Barneys first words to her as she entered his apartment.

"I ditched Marshall and Lily at the bar… did you find something out?" She asked.

"Yeah…scotch?" He walked over to his bar.

"Will I need one?" She asked, following him.

"You'll need a whole bottle." The fact that he was still smiling calmed her down a little.

"Then give me the bottle." She replied.

"Nah, I need you sober enough to comprehend everything." He poured her a glass, which gave Robin a moment to really look at him.

He wasn't wearing his suit jacket, his tie was loosened and his sleeves rolled up.

"So bad, huh?" She asked.

"It'll be fine." He replied and handed her the tumbler.

Robin went over to the couch and sat down, expecting Barney to follow her. Instead he walked over to the kitchen island and leaned against it.

"So today after lunch I went by my secretaries office, you know, for some mid-day small talk. Catching up on the latest rumors, the usual."

Robin couldn't help but wonder how often Barney had been the one his secretary had gossiped about.

"And she told me about her cat, Whiskers, he has a weak heart and the doctors can't really help him, it's a sad story actually. See they make these special pills for cats but…"

"Barney, get to the point!" Robin interrupted.

"Right, guess what? She had gotten a call from the Bureau of Consular Affairs, a 'really well spoken' gentleman had asked her questions about me."

Robin gasped.

"What did she say?" She asked while getting her tumbler, she really hoped that the alcohol would help.

"Well she told him what she knew."

"Which is?" Robin asked impatiently.

"That we got married last year, that you are a really lovely and pretty girl… you know the standard stuff a secretary would know."

"How does she know that though? I've never been to your office." Robin was relieved that they seemed to have gotten away – this time.

"I share stories at gossip time too. Plus she's seen your picture on my desk."

"There is a picture of me on your desk?" Robin asked astonished.

Barney looked at her as if she was the dumbest person in the world, "of course."

"Hold on – why?" Robin asked and added, "which picture exactly?"

"Robin, I got married, I had to disclose that to the firm. Once they knew I went ahead and did what every married guy does: Put the hottest picture of his wife on the desk."

"Please don't tell me its one of the pictures we took in bed when we were in Vegas?"

Barney laughed, "those are the hottest!"

"You just lost your taking-pictures-while-I-am-partly-naked privileges."

"Relax, it's the one where we are standing in front of the water fountains in Vegas." Barney said.

"I keep the other ones in my desk – what up?" He smirked.

Robin didn't laugh. "So sounds like we dodged a bullet."

"We did, but you know what this means, right?" Barney asked.

Robin shook her head, "what?"

"They are really digging, and no one close to us knows about our wedding. We got to tell people."

Robin swallowed, she hadn't thought about that yet.

"Oh crab."

"On my site of the family the most crucial ones would be my mom and my brother." Barney explained.

"You don't really think they would track down our friends and families, do you?" Robin asked a little freaked out.

"We can't risk it. Nothing says fake-marriage like your own mother hearing about it for the first time from a government official."

Robin emptied her tumbler and got up to get another glass, mumbling cuss words.

"And we have to tell the gang, Robin." Barney finally said out loud what she had been thinking all along.

"This is a nightmare." She decided.

"No, a nightmare would be if they had called anyone but my company first. We are still one step ahead Robin, we can do it. We just need to think about who needs to know and what we will tell them."

Robin turned her full attention to him, really looked at him. Something about him knowing what to do and still being in control really turned her on.

"I already called my mom and told her that I would come over for lunch tomorrow, bringing someone. I tried to reach James but he didn't pick up, I'll try again later. What about your family?"

Robin shrugged, "I… I don't know Barney."

"Well who would you have told if this was a real marriage?"

"My mom maybe? I don't know, I never tell her anything remotely important though. And Katie…but there is no way they would question a 16 year old, right?"

"What about your dad?" Barney asked.

"I haven't spoken to him in three years." Robin answered.

"Yeah that would be more suspicious if you did tell him." Barney realized.

"What should we tell them though? The truth? Would that be smart?" Robin asked.

"Well, I am planning on telling James the truth. He wouldn't believe anything else anyways, plus he is a pro."

"What about Marshall, Lily and Ted? Ted will freak!"

"I don't want to tell Marshall and Lily the truth. Lily is horrible at keeping secrets and Marshall is a lawyer, he will want to help us out. No offense, but I'd really prefer if we handled this ourselves." Barney explained.

Robin got that. Marshall was a great friend, and that was exactly why he would want to step in and rescue them. Which was great, except that Barneys nerves were a lot stronger when it came to lying and deceiving – and apparently illegal proceedings in general.

"I agree, but they will never buy it."

"Well, they might. I mean they already believe that we have feelings for each other, so maybe…"

"Dude, we are the most commitment phobic people on the face of the planet, and they are our best friends, they won't buy it." Robin argued.

"That's what I thought too, but then I had an idea!" Barney exclaimed excited.