Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

Chapter 12

Memories & Ultimatums

A pool of blood was forming on the floor. I had tears falling from my face. My mascara from last night was running. All of a sudden my phone rang. I had a text message. I dropped the razor in the sink. I got some gauze from under the sink and put pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding.

I used my powers to call for my phone. Sometimes they can be cool to have.

I looked at my phone to see who saved my life.

Nixon: Hey I was just gona check on you. U was pretty wasted last night.

I put my phone on the floor and kept applying pressure to my wrist. I think it was beginning to clot. I hadn't actually cut all the way across yet. I hadn't gotten to the ulnar artery, so I will be ok. Stitches were needed, but I wasn't going to the hospital. I could do them myself if I had to supplies.

Me: I'm alright. Got a major headache though. I don't remember a lot of wat happened. Did I do anything embarrassing?

Nixon: You kissed me and it wasn't ur normal everyday kiss either. I have to say I enjoyed it tho.

Me: I vaguely remember kissin u after lollipop was ova lol

Nixon: That wasn't the only time u kissed me tho :P

Me: when I get drunk, I want to have sex haha. Idk y I'm like tht. Its not a very good thng tho.

Nixon: when I brought u home and took u up to ur room, u took off ur clothes, got on the bed and pulled me on top of u.

Me: omg, I am so sry! Did we do anything? Lol

Nixon: no. u was hard to resist. Not cuz u were persistent tho.

Me: then how?

Nixon: I'm really attracted to u.

Me: Oh! I am grateful tht u didn't.

Nixon: I didn't want to take advantage of u. If we were to ever do that, I want u to b sober so I kno its not just the alcohol. I also want u to remember it ;)

Me: =]

Nixon: We're gona b in cali a little while longer if u wana hang out again. I had fun last night.

Me: Sure we can do tht. But I will txt u later, my parents anniversary thng is today and I haven't even had a shower or anything. Ttyl!

I checked by wrist and it was clotting. I got up off the floor where I had sat to text Nixon. I cleaned up the blood. Then I washed last night's makeup off my face. I looked horrible and my wrist hurt like nobody's business. I picked up my phone off the floor and seen Renji and me on the background. It was hard for me to look at that picture. I needed to change it. I missed him so much and didn't want to be reminded of the pain it caused me to be away from him. The pain in my wrist didn't compare to the pain of being away from Renji.

I took a shower, got ready and went downstairs. Grandpa and Nana had apparently gone to the store. They were putting up the groceries.

"Hey sunshine! Didn't think you were ever going to get up?" Nana said cheerfully.

"Could you not talk so loud? I have a splitting headache." I said, rubbing my forehead.

I opened the fridge and got a drink.

"OH my! What happened to your wrist?" Nana asked.

"I cut it last night. It's no big deal."

"It looks fresh." She added.

"Well it's not."

"Looks like it might need stitches too."

"Nana, I'm fine. I promise."

She looked at Grandpa with a worried expression.

"You would tell us the truth if it was something else, wouldn't you?" Grandpa asked.

"Yea."

They just looked at me.

"You don't think I tried to kill myself, do you?" I asked.

"Hunny, you've went through some things. You were admitted to a mental place.." Nana said, but I cut her off.

"Geez, that will haunt me forever won't it?"

"No, we won't mention it again." Grandpa said giving Nana a look.

"We just worry about you, Krissy. That's all." Nana said.

"I'm ok." I lied.

The subject was dropped and they continued getting ready for the party. I don't know what my Nana meant by I been through some things. All the things I been through she doesn't know about. She doesn't know about Shane hitting me. Nor does she know about all the supernatural problems. I was confused to what she was talking about.

I went upstairs to get my camera. I needed to go through the pictures. Some needed to be deleted. I still had pictures of me and Shane from way back in the day. From when we first got together. Everything was great then. We were so in love. What happened to us? I didn't need them anymore. Delete.

I deleted a lot of pictures of parties and stuff Shane and I went to. We were a couple of party animals. Me, him, Miranda and whoever she was dating always went out and did things. When we moved in together, it's like everything changed. We didn't party anymore and he was so jealous.

Then I got to pictures I had taken of me and Renji. I started crying as I looked through them and deleted them. I love him more than anyone or anything in this world. But I couldn't be with him. It was too dangerous, especially when Aizen wanted me to kill him. I knew Aizen had to be jealous of what we had.

I had no idea how long I had been looking through the pictures till Nana called me to come downstairs. Mom and dad were already here and guests had started to arrive. I was wearing my $200 Ed hardy bikini. The print on it was tattoo inspired. I had short jean shorts over the bottoms. I started walking down the stairs and who is the first person I see? Shane. And of course he had to be staring at me. I went straight to the case of Smirnoff by my Grandpa and grabbed a bottle.

"I think I'm gona need this today." I said and Grandpa laughed.

I went outside and started drinking my Smirnoff.

"Do you really think you need more alcohol?" I heard my mom say as she walked towards me. She had something in her hand.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

She handed me the magazine in her hand. It was the enquirer.

"Since when do you read this?" I asked.

"I don't, but someone brought to my attention that you were in it. I thought I had better look and I think you should too." She said sounding a bit agitated.

Well I wasn't on the cover, which was good. She flipped to the page and I was in there alright. Apparently I didn't remember Nixon popping my butt right. I had raised my skirt up in the back to reveal my butt and then he slapped it. There was a picture to prove it. There was also a picture of the kiss I gave him afterwards. He was right; it was so much more than your everyday kiss. I don't how that photographer got that close, but you could see my tongue going in his mouth. The article says people seen me drink a lot that night. The magazine showed reference to me being a model showing a picture from a spread I had done for cosmopolitan. They speculated whether I was his girlfriend. It was rather funny to me, though it wasn't to my mother. She took my drink when she left and band me from alcohol the rest of the party.

Miranda and Lee were there. Apparently they were dating. Poor Miranda. They both acted nice to me and I didn't understand. I thought they hated me for up and leaving Shane. I guess they got over it. Miranda asked about Japan and how I liked it. It was just like I had left on good terms with everyone. I wondered if they knew something I didn't. Maybe they were just acted nice because they wanted me to stay.

I walked inside to get a drink. The house was empty now. Everyone had gone outside. I was happy to be away from everyone for the moment. I needed a break from all the schmoozing. It got old, fast.

"Hey." I heard a familiar voice say.

I turned around and it was Shane.

"Hi."

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks."

"You know, it doesn't have to be this way with us."

"Doesn't it?"

"I am sorry, Kristen. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it. Why can't you understand that?"

"Tell me what I have to do to make it right."

"Something's can't be made right."

"I'm not over you. I can't get over you."

"Well, I'm so over you."

I started to leave. But when I walked by him, he grabbed me and kissed me. I never would have seen that coming. When we kissed, I had a premonition of all the good times we had. It was just like moments flashing in front of my eyes. It sent all these old emotions running through me. When he stopped, he kept his hands griping my upper arms. It wasn't a tight grip, though.

"Tell me you didn't feel anything and I will leave you alone." He said.

I was speechless. I got out of his grip and started to walk outside again.

"Why can't you just love me back?" he asked

I stopped and turned around. "Love? That's what you were feeling for me when you hit me?"

"Hey, you tried to kill me and I forgave you. Let's call it even."

"I would hardly call it even."

I did walk away this time. I always wondered if he remembered what happened in Japan. Guess he does. Apparently I'm forgiven. Works for me, he deserved what happened. I walked over to Grandpa.

"Do you mind if I invite someone?" I asked him.

"No, it's fine with me."

I had gotten my phone when I went inside.

Me: So you were talking bout getting 2gether again. Well my parents party is getting kinda borin. U wana come ova and entertain me?

Nixon: lol sure.

Me: Its like a bbq backyard pool thing. Most ppl r n bathin suits, so wear or bring urs.

Nixon: R u n a bathing suit?

Me: Bikini ;)

Nixon: ima leave now. Directions?

I gave him directions and he was on his way. I had told him to just come on in the house and go to the French doors. I waited on the patio for him. When he got here and walked out the doors, I got up and hugged him. Then I put my hand on the back of his hand and pulled his lips to mine. If only I could have seen everyone's expression.

"You are sober, right?" Nixon asked when we stopped kissing.

"Yes, I've been banned from alcohol. Mom saw the enquirer thing."

"I saw that too. I forgot to tell you about that." He said laughing.

"It's ok." As said as I took him by the hand and lead him to sit down.

A lot of my parent's friends had kids around my age. Most of the kids were there. And they knew who Nixon was. They kept bugging him to sing. It was funny. He turned them down a million times. I had to make them stop. How many times does he have to say no before they get it through their thick skulls. I didn't like most of the girls that were bugging him.

We ended up swimming when it got a little darker outside. He was hot; I couldn't keep my hands off of him. We basically made out the entire time we were in the pool. It was dark and most of the people weren't looking, but Shane was. He stared daggers the whole time at Nixon. I expected him to come say something to him, but he never did.

"It's getting late and I have to get up early. I don't wana go, but you know." Nixon said.

"I know." I said pulling myself out of the pool.

I sat with my feet in the water. "Are you not gona get out?"

"I need to cool off a little. Cold shower would be nice." He said running his hands up and down my legs.

"Is the leg rubbing helping?" I asked laughed.

"Probably not." He laughed.

We sat there and talked for a little while. Then get out and I walked with him to his car.

"I had a good time. We should do it again, but go somewhere next time." He said.

I smiled. "You know if we do, we're going to be in the tabloids again. The will continue to speculate about me being your girlfriend."

"Maybe they will be right for once." He said, pulling me into him for a kiss.

After he left, I went back inside. Shane was waiting on me.

"You did that to make me jealous, didn't you?" he asked.

"Not exactly, though you didn't act like I thought you would."

"I'm different now, Kris. I've gotten help. I went to therapy for my anger issues."

I didn't know what to say.

"Everyone knows what I did to you, Kris. I couldn't take them blaming you for leaving. They know it was my fault."

So that's why everyone is being nice to me. They know why I did what I did. That's what Nana was talking about when she said I'd been through a lot. I can't believe he actually told people. Obviously they've forgiven him. That's something I don't know if I could do.

"I guess you're wondering why I'm here. Why everyone is nice to me. They've had time to deal with it. I told them a while ago. You're dad tried to hurt me when I told him. My dad had to hold him back. Everyone was pretty angry with me. I went to counseling and little by little they forgave me. I'm not who I used to be, Kris. Believe me." He explained

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked at the ground for a minute and he put his hand under my chin and lifted it up. He started to move in to kiss me, but I put my hand on his chest and stopped him.

"Don't…please." I said.

He just looked at me. Then I went upstairs to my room. I sat on the window seat and stared outside. I missed Renji and it was killing me. I clutched a pillow and cried. This was so hard. If Shane had never started beating me, everything would be fine. We would still be together and I would still be a model. I would have never met Renji and I wouldn't be hurting like this. Then there's Nixon, who I like a lot. But I'm sure I will hurt him.

I'm thankful Aizen hasn't showed up here. Maybe I really am safe here.

I heard a knock on my door and then someone come in.

"Are you ok?" it was Miranda.

"Not really."

"Don't cry." She said as she walked over to me. "I'm sorry about Shane."

"It's not your fault. He is just making this hard on me."

"He loves you, Kris. He can't help that. He's been a wreck since you left. Today was the first time I seen him smile since you left. He only smiled because of you."

"I can't get over what he did to me. I shouldn't have to apologize for that. I didn't do anything wrong here. Going to therapy doesn't make it right. It won't make my emotional scars go away. I'm thankful he went though. At least he won't hit his next girlfriend."

"You're not going to give him another chance?"

"Every time he hit me and I didn't leave was another chance. He had plenty of opportunities to change. He didn't care then, cause he thought I wouldn't leave him. But I did and I don't plan on going back."

She just looked at me.

"This discussion is over. I want to be alone now. Please leave." I said.

I sat there for what seemed like hours after she left. I thought so many times about going back to that blade and finishing what I started. The more I thought about it the more is sounded like a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I wasn't completely convinced the problem was temporary, but I was hoping it was. I wanted to be happy again. I did find out that being with Nixon made the pain of being away from Renji less painful. If that makes any sense at all.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I had way too much on my mind. I had to get up early because this thing for my parents wasn't just a normal party. They were renewing their vows. It was their 25th anniversary so I guess I didn't expect mother to have a normal party. They were having it at their house. The backyard was huge and they were putting a dance floor down. It wasn't kind of like a wedding. They had a tent set up for the tables to be under. They had a cake and all that stuff. Mother had made us a nail appointment as early as they would take us and then we had to get our hair done. Thankfully there was a break in between to two appointments for lunch.

I decided to make call Nixon and ask if he wanted to do lunch. He said yes. I met him at the place we picked to eat. When I arrived, there were photographers everywhere. Apparently some other famous person was eating there. Well, it was a popular place.

Nixon came to my car after I parked.

"Where have company." Nixon said opening my door for me.

"I see. Good thing I dressed up." I said jokingly, because I wasn't.

I had on shorts, a spaghetti strap tank, and flips flops. My hair was in pigtails and I had hardly any make up on.

"At least my nails look good." I joked.

"You look beautiful." He said before he kissed my forehead.

I rolled my eyes and put my sunglasses on. He took my hand and we started walking toward the restaurant. Of course the people were asking if we were dating and such. We didn't talk to them. Nixon flipped them off a couple times. I was happy when we made inside.

"It's so pretty outside. I wanted to eat out there, but not now." I said.

We ate and talked for a while after. Then I noticed the time.

"OH crap! I have to go! I'm gona be late and I will never hear the end of it from mother." I said scrambling for my purse.

I practically ran out to the car. When I got to the car, I turned around and Nixon was behind me.

"Run off and leave why don't you." He said laughing.

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave."

He gave me a hug.

"We don't have to kiss. I know this tabloid thing bothers you." He told me.

I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. He smiled when I stopped and so did I. I got in the car, told him I would call him later and left. Luckily, I wasn't late. We got our hair done and then went to my parent's house. They had bought me a dress and it was gorgeous. It was Chanel.

They ceremony went great. The food was great. Everything was going great and everyone was having fun. I can't believe my mom was actually dancing. It was pretty funny to me. She even dragged me onto the dance floor to dance with her.

It was going good until Shane asked to speak to me. He took me to the gazebo, which had lights all over it.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I know you still feel something for me." He said as he got down on one knee. "I should have done this a long time ago. You always hinted around to it." He pulled out a velvet box and opened it. "We even went to Tiffany's and picked you out a ring. This ring."

The ring was exactly the one I wanted. 3cts and gorgeous. He took my hand and put it on my finger.

"Give this one more try. I promise, I won't mess up this time. Marry me, Kristen."

I was shocked, but I barely had time to react to it. I saw the sky split open. This huge hollow peered out. Then it started to come out. He must have been as tall as a skyscraper, maybe even taller.

"What are you looking at?" Shane asked.

I ignored him and ran to the house. I went straight for my purse. I carried around that cuff Grimmjow gave me everywhere I went to remember him by. I put it on and ran out to the street where the giant hollow was walking. It was huge. I didn't know how I was going to fight it.

All of a sudden I saw a soul reaper in the air, a female soul reaper. She was fighting it. I felt someone grab me and they pulled me on the ground. It was Loly and Menoly. Aizen had to be behind this whole thing. They scrambled on the ground with me a bit, causing the wound on my wrist to open back up. Blood was pouring out. I sent them both flying off me with my powers. I looked at Menoly and focused all my energy on her. She dissolved into thin air. I didn't know I could make them go that fast.

"What did you do to her?!" Loly screamed.

I turned around to finish her, but she was gone. Blood was dripping off my fingers onto the street. I needed to stop the bleeding. I looked up and seen the female soul reaper was finishing the huge hollow. I dragged myself in the house and upstairs to my old bathroom. I took the cuff off when I got there. I got some gauze and applied pressure to the wound. I felt someone behind me. I looked in the mirror and it was him.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked with tears rolling down my cheek.

He made me turn around and face him. "Because I want you."

"Then why don't you just take me? You've had the opportunity."

"I want you to come to me." He put his hands on the counter and leaned in. "And I don't care who or how many I have to kill to make that happen."

I tried to slap him, but he grabbed my wrist. He turned me around and pinned me to the wall by my wrists.

"Don't try to fight me, Kristen. It's pointless. You won't win." he threatened

I just stared at him.

"I'm forcing your hand, now it's your turn to play. Come to me or your loved ones will be sentenced to death." he said

He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my check to him. My eyes were erupting with tears.

He let go of my wrists and whipped a tear away.

"Don't cry, my dear. The choice should be very easy. I know you don't want people to die."

Then he was gone. I slide down to the floor and cried.