Chapter 12: Thinking of you, what you would do if you were the one…
The roar of the crowd was exciting and just a little terrifying, Kara decided. From her spot just to the left of the stage she could peer out at the sea of faces, jumping and cheering and waving their hands above their heads. Beneath her feet the ground seemed to vibrate like the warning before a major earthquake. She shrunk back a little and collided with a warm body.
"Hey kiddo, careful there. You don't want to fall off the stage or anything. I tried it recently and believe me, it wasn't fun."
Kara smiled up at Mark as he patted her shoulder and peered out at the audience. She wasn't entirely sure why her father disliked Mark so much. He was nice and even though he was really old, she still thought he was really handsome. Looking out at the sea of girls screaming his name it seemed a lot of other people really liked him. So why not her Dad?
"Are you nervous?" she asked. She had to shout a little to be heard over the crowd.
He shrugged his shoulders a little. "Kind of. Mostly I'm excited. When you're really excited the fear kind of mixes with and amplifies the excitement, you don't feel it so much then, or at least you don't recognize it."
Kara wanted to respond that she understood what he meant and racked her brain for an example. The closest she'd been to a stage was at an end of year performance at her Kindergarten and then it wasn't even a stage, just a space in front of a group of chairs. She decided to remain silent.
Mark's band members ran over and the group huddled in a little group in front of her. Mark chanted a few words, his arms on the shoulders of the two guys on each side of him. They repeated the words which Kara couldn't actually make out then all four of them yelled out 'ROCK!' The other guys filed out on stage, taking the respective spots behind drum sets and keyboards as they waved to the crowd.
Mark turned back to Kara and held up his hand, "High five for luck?" he asked.
Smiling shyly she slapped his hand then folded her arms across her chest as he ran out on stage. She glanced up at movement beside her a moment later and smiled up at Jude.
"The crowd really loves him, huh?" Jude asked. Her eyes were on the girls in the front rows. They were dancing, or at least that's what Kara thought they were trying to do. Their eyes were fixed to Mark, their hands sliding up and down their bodies slowly as they moved their shoulders in time with the music. Jude frowned.
"Yeah," Kara agreed. She glanced from the girls, to Mark grinning and winking at one of them and then back to Jude. She was having fun on her trip with Jude. It was like a different world hanging out with Jude and her husband. She liked the way they treated her, like an adult they could talk to without baby talk her any irritating tone changes. But she still felt she was sorely missing the points and reasons to a lot of things that were happening, no matter how grown up she felt. She couldn't figure out why with all the cheering and the fun music roaring around them that Jude could look so unhappy and uncertain.
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Tommy poured the two banana flavored protein shakes into matching glasses, rinsed the blender glass under the kitchen tap then joined Jessica in the back yard. She was sitting beneath an old apple tree, gently leaning against the course bark as she flicked through a photo album. Numerous other books were stacked beside her and she held a small notebook in one hand and a pen in the other. Her expression alternated between frowning and smiling as she absentmindedly clicked the button on the pen.
"There aren't words to express how much I love that picture," Tommy remarked as he slowly lowered himself to the grass beside her.
Jessica glanced up, her nose scrunching in displeasure, dappled by moving patches of sunlight filtering through the leaves. "It's not funny," she insisted.
He tried unsuccessfully to keep from smiling as he gazed at the picture. Jessica, aged twelve, sat on a bench in front of her school. Her hair was in disheveled pigtails, one holding firm midway up her head while the other hung limply on her shoulder. Her skin was marred by a bout of acne, the sun was in her eyes causing her to squint and just as the picture was taken Jimmy Hendricks, who had successfully snuck up behind her unnoticed had just overturned a bucket of water above her head. The water was captured on film, eternally suspended in air, a split second before drenching Jessica.
"He was such a jerk," Jessica muttered.
"He probably had a crush on you."
She shook her head. "I am never going to get that. You, guys, are such idiots. What other intelligent life form would express affection with cruelty?"
Tommy smiled. "Intelligent life form is a very generous choice of words."
She turned to him, the patterns of light dancing across he features. "Most of you get there eventually." She leaned over; grazing his chin with two fingers she pulled his face to hers for a gentle kiss. "I'm not sure about Jimmy though." She picked up the offending photo with two fingers as if it were a foul object and dropped it into a shoebox beside her.
Tommy lay back on the grass, tucking his arms behind his head. "Remember when we first met?"
Jessica grimaced. "The dare."
Tommy nodded. "The dare."
"You were such a teen movie cliché."
"The handsome, charming lead every girl fell for. I know."
"No, you were more like the lead's best friend. The guy who said all the wrong things, got drunk a lot and eventually got arrested for streaking at a football game."
"Mmmm, let's not tell Kara about that bit."
"No, it's good. When you sit her down to warn her about the harsh reality of teenage boys, and how they're all awful and only want one thing, you can use yourself as an example." An unruly strand of hair fell out from behind her hair, swishing in front of her eyes as she smiled at him sweetly.
Laughing, Tommy rolled over onto his stomach. "We should record it, the story of how we first met, for Kara."
Jessica nodded. "The camcorder is in the house. Do you want to get it?"
Tommy nodded and jumped to his feet. A few moments later he returned with the camcorder. He set it up on a mini tripod and sat down beside Kara. She shifted slightly, leaning into him and placing one hand on his knee. He held up the remote control and pressed the record button. Their faces filled the screen.
"You start." Jessica instructed. "It started with you."
Scratching the back of his neck Tommy looked down. "The story of how we met began when I was fifteen. Jessica was a freshman that year. She was tall for her age and hadn't yet been taken over by the obsession with preening that most of her peers has fallen prey too. Her hair was a crazed mess, her clothes were drab and she generally kept her eyes down between classes. At lunch she studied, after school she went straight home."
At this point Jessica covered her eyes with her hands, her cheeks warming with embarrassment.
"It was good though." Tommy nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. "She was the top of her classes and accelerated in a few courses. She was in my English class, as was my…" he paused, "'friend' Spencer."
"Spencer wasn't a friend." Kara shook her head. "Watch out for that Kara. Choose your friends wisely. It's one of the oldest rules of wisdom in the world. It's in the Bible and everything."
Tommy nodded seriously, a smile playing on his lips. "May I continue?
"You may."
"Spencer thought Jessica was a riot. He'd tease her when the teacher wasn't looking during class. He'd throw things at her, pull her hair, whisper things, you name it. One day I got sick of it and told him to stop. He was amused by this too. He accused me of liking Jessica and I soon became the victim of his ridicule. It was winter and the formal was coming up. Around the time his girlfriend subjected him to watching 'She's all that' he came up with this idea that I should ask Jessica to the formal. He thought it would be hilarious, the two of us showing up together."
"I'd seen the film too." Jessica explained, "and as much as I wanted my own Freddie Prinze Jr. I didn't trust your Dad one bit. We ended up with this running routine of him asking me on a daily basis and me rejecting him. He really took to it too. Each day he'd come up with a new creative and crazy way to ask me. He broke into the office and asked me over the PA system, he spray painted my locker, hired the marching band to spell out a message at a game and each time I'd say no. The day of the formal came and I said no. I told him I didn't trust him and told him he could tell Spencer to, well, get lost." She looked away and Tommy laughed.
"The night of the dance I turned up at your Grandparents," Tommy said. "Thankfully they were out. Jessica was upstairs and studying and didn't notice when I started hanging streamers in her front yard. I had a battery powered stereo that I set to playing a prom song and I even hung a disco ball from the patio roof."
"I eventually heard the music playing and came downstairs. When he asked me to dance I began searching the yard for a hidden camera. Tommy followed me, his hand extended the entire time, waiting for me to take it. If the fact that my neighbors were all peering out their front windows wasn't bad enough, he started singing along with the song, loudly. By the time I'd finished my camera search he'd started to dance around me, as if we were on the dance floor together and I simply didn't know what to do. Eventually I gave in and shuffled my feet a little."
"She was an awful dancer. Simply awf-" Tommy was cut off by a sharp elbow into his ribs.
"The next song was a slow song and as much as I wanted to walk away and leave Tommy and the nosy neighbors, I gave in and gave him my hand. We danced. It was nice until I twisted my ankle on a tree root and Tommy had to carry me back into the house. My parents came home around then and there was a lot of explaining and suspicious looks. Tommy apologized profusely and left. My Dad started cleaning up the streamers and I hobbled upstairs."
She took Tommy's hand in hers. "I filled ten pages in my diary that night, describing every single detail about how wonderful the whole thing was. The next day at school, things were back to normal. No more dance proposals and except for a smile across the classroom in English, we didn't speak again. Your Dad got in some trouble after that and wasn't at school for a year, which he'll tell you about eventually. We didn't start dating until quite some time after all of that but I never forgot that night."
A moment of silence passed during which Tommy turned off the camcorder. Jessica's head was resting on his shoulder and he ran a hand through his hair. "You're still there, at that night, aren't you?"
She nodded slightly and he felt a tear soak through the thin fabric of his shirt. "Life was so much easier back then. Remember how big the world seemed, how much possibility lay ahead of us?"
"I never felt like that," he admitted. "It's why I didn't speak to you that next day at school. You were so sweet but so nervous. I knew you weren't the kind of person who trusted easily and I didn't want to win your trust just to hurt you. I knew I wasn't going anywhere and I didn't want to drag anyone along with me. It wasn't until Darius discovered me and the early days of Boyz Attack when my confidence got ahead of me and the future started to seem infinite. You'd gotten gorgeous and I'd never forgotten you. I thought it was the perfect time to pursue you, to win you. I was such a catch, I was sure of it. I deserved you then, but I didn't."
"Intelligent beings." Jessica repeated, "You got there eventually. That's all the matters."
He turned his head, ducking his face to find hers and their lips met in a sweet, lingering kiss.
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"How's her mother?" Mark asked.
He and Jude were sitting at the table of his Hotel suite, matching goblets of red wine sitting in front of them. Jude picked up hers and twirled her wrist, watching as the red liquid climbed the sides of the glass as if yearning for escape then gradually surrendered to gravity and settled in the bottom.
"I think she's okay. I haven't spent much time with her since she went into the hospital last week. We spoke on the phone a few times. She sounded tired but optimistic."
"She has such an amazing attitude, considering," Mark remarked. "I'd be seriously sulking if I were her."
Jude smiled.
"No cheeky responses please."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
He raised his glass to his lips and downed the last of the wine.
"So that was a good show tonight." Jude was surprised at her need to resort to small talk topics. It hadn't been that long since she and Mark had last seen each other but it felt as if there was a wall between them.
"I thought so." He flashed her a roguish grin. The twinkle in his eye implied jesting but the grin held just enough arrogance to imply some truth. She both loved and hated that about him.
He stood up, his eyes on her and she felt herself blush as his hands found hers and slowly pulled her to her feet. He was humming one of his songs softly as his hand slid to the small of her back and the other cradled hers. She found herself laughing as he guided her around the kitchen, occasionally spinning her out then pulling her back into his embrace.
"You're a dork."
"And you're beautiful," he whispered into the curve of her neck, his lips gently graced her sensitive skin. She sighed as his lips rose to meet hers. She was lost in the moment in the sensation of his lips against hers until she noticed he was guiding them toward the hall.
"No," she murmured, breaking away from him as a name ran through her mind. "Kara," she whispered, though that wasn't the name that had floated through her mind. "We can't, she's just next door."
"She's sleeping. She's fine. Her parents do it all the time."
Jude's eyebrow rose. She felt a little weird at the thought of that and it certainly ended any trace of 'the mood' that may have been present. She pulled away from Mark easily.
"I wouldn't be comfortable."
Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You came all this way and we're not-"
"Is that why I came all this way?" she asked. Eyebrows raised accusingly. "Is that why you wanted me to visit?"
"No! Well… yeah, that's a part of it."
Jude shook her head and looked away, Mark opened his mouth to speak but a small voice interrupted.
"Jude?"
At the end of the hall Jude could make out a small silhouette hugging the doorframe.
"What is it honey?"
"I'm okay. I just, I really miss my Mom."
"Oh sweetie." Jude was aware of Mark turning and striding back to the kitchen as she walked over to Kara. "We'll be home again before you know it."
Kara nodded bravely but Jude could have sworn she could see reflections in her eyes of her own childhood. The way a space could seem too big and empty when you were alone, the night so quiet you felt you could be the only person on the planet, or that echoing in hour head, the dull pumping of fear through your head.
"Would you like me to stay with you for awhile?"
Kara nodded, "please."
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Tommy could feel the enveloping embrace of sleep wrapping around him. Just as he was about to succumb to the oblivion, a small movement in the bed beside him caught his attention. Jessica exhaled slowly not a sigh but more of a gasp and shifted beside him. He reached out, his hand searching out hers beneath the cover.
"I'm okay," she answered his silent question.
He rolled onto his side to face her and in the dim light, saw her do the same. "Maybe we should call the Doctor in the morning."
"I'm going to get worse, Tommy. It's how this goes."
"But not yet. They gave us longer."
"It was a guess, not a promise."
"Maybe they should start increasing your transfusions. They don't seem to be working as well as before."
She shook her head slightly. "I feel so weird after those. It's like I'm less me, my body isn't even my own when I have someone else's blood running through my veins."
"Jessica," he smiled teasingly, "you are not your blood."
She rolled her eyes and tried to smile but it wobbled, shattered, than collapsed. Tears pooled in her eyes as she gasped out, "good. Because it's poison."
Teasers for Part 13
She lifted her gaze to his and he noticed the way her eyes seemed to never quite focus.
"You're drunk."
"I've become a singing monkey." He breathed, his voice shaking ever so slightly.
