A/N Wow I'm loving the responses. I'm getting a lot of fantastic letters and I love the correspondence. I hope everyone keeps up the great work. This is a continuation of chapter 11…I went ahead and called it chapter 12 even if it's still response from letters received after chapter 10 so I hope no one is confused by this. Well I hope everyone likes this chapter.

Warning…I've yet to buy Severus for myself. Give me time.

Batch 12 or a Continuation of Batch 11

Dear Severus,

Already preparing for upcoming ball. The Sleek and Sexy hair tonic you gave me for Christmas isn't giving me the luscious vibrancy it usually does. Please advise.

Your friend,

Lucius


Dear Lucius,

Well after reading your short and to the point letter I decided to enclose another bottle of Sleek and Sexy hair tonic. Don't tell me you tried to apply it yourself, you know Narcissa always does it better. Well I look forward to the ball. My lady friend Sylvia will accompany me.

Sincerely,

Severus


Dear professor Snape,

Thank for your answer but now I will have to pass to plan B. Do you think that I could try to poison the headmaster with a sleeping potion in his lemon drops so I could rip in pieces the stupid sorting hat? I just hate that thing. I know all its history but on my sorting day it forgot who I was and because of that I am in the most repulsive house of the school.

Sincerely,

Gabie Ralafinpuff


Dear Miss Ralafinpuff,

I am not quite sure you'll get away with poisoning Albus D. Madame Pomfrey and myself have already tried…many times. But I wish you luck. I know you may not truly be a Gryffindor…but keep in mind that you can terrorize better from within.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Dear Severus,

Cannot decide what color body glitter would go best with green poet top. Want to be flashy and sexy, but not TOO flashy or sexy. Wouldn't want that toad Umbridge stalking me again. Do I use silver? Or green? Would green glitter be too MUCH green? Should I just throw caution to the wind and wear gold instead? Ask Ms. Granger WMD? (What Would Muggles Do) Please advise.

Your friend,

Lucius


Dear Lucius,

Honestly must you write me on what color body glitter to wear? And what kind of man wears body glitter any way? I personally would go with silver to accent your hair and eyes. Miss Granger agrees with my decision.

Sincerely,

Severus


Master Potions Severus Snape.

Hogwarts Castle.

I had read many of your essays and compositions you published, and since my greatest desire have always been to be a Potion Mistress, I've gathered the courage to

write you and ask for an apprenticeship. The rumors say you're not an easy man to please when it comes to knowledge, but been the best in your field will make it worth it. Hope to live to your expectations (If you let me).

Sincerely,

Miss Eris Gaea.


Dear Miss Eris Gaea,

You show promise. My niece is already apprenticing under me. But I'm sure I could use one more apprentice. I'm a very busy man but I can teach you potions. You'll also learn how to teach my classes and you will help with those. Come to Hogwarts immediately. Beware of Albus D. our Headmaster, he is quite nutters.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master


Dear professor Snape

People can be idiots. To hurt someone just because they are different. What's the point? Well, that's not a question, merely a comment, but if you can answer it, I'll be very happy to hear your answer. By the way… Piercings...my God , Sev, has this therapy drove you over the edge of sanity(no offense). On the other hand, a few weeks ago, you would never have let me do your hair. Nor would you be performing in front of an entire school... Be careful. Sev, your Gryffindor is showing. Maybe Albus knows what he is doing? Also, can you foxtrot?

-Dell


Dear Dell,

Well, there are many idiots in the world. I wish there was something to deter Black and Potter…hmm so far not even the Bloody Baron can keep them away. And more and likely the therapy has driven me over the edge. I haven't completely been myself in quite awhile. But I'm still snarky which is good. And I have no Gryffindor in me! How can you insinuate such a thing? Not to mention I happen to like the piercings…a bit unconventional but interesting none the less.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape

P.S. I'm a very good dancer, though I can't say I've ever learned the foxtrot.


Dear Severus,

Put on my hot pants from our band days to reminisce. Thought they might look smashing with the forest green poet shirt I received from Draco. Figured it would be a hit at the Ball. Seem to have miscalculated however...seems hot pants have shrunk. Cannot remove. Narcissa cast a removal charm that, instead of removing hot pants, removed my testicles instead. Don't understand what she found so laughable about situation that she peed in her new muggle Donna Karan suit. Please advise on hot pants removal and testicle retrieval. Also advise on suitable revenge.

Your friend,

Lucius


Dear Lucius,

How do you get yourself into these predicaments? An easy way to remove the pants would have been a seam splitting charm, honestly man! Narcissa probably had a laugh because you officially are a girly man. I have enclosed a potion to re-grow your testicles. Good luck on that. How many men can say "You need to grow some balls," in a literal sense? As for a suitable revenge plot, how about you take away her Gringotts credit card?

Sincerely,

Severus


Dear Professor Snape,

Rabastan and Bellatrix, eh? Well, I'm scarred for life just thinking about that now. I'll have to ask my mother about that some time. But you say that my uncle killed my father? Well, I can't say that I'm not entirely saddened about it—I hardly knew the man, after all. I have his last name, at times, but that appears to be it. Other times I just go by Jinx Eames and nothing else. Confusing, isn't it?

I saw Albus Dumbledore today, and he gave me the strangest look, and then commented that my hair was quite becoming to me. And then he offered me a bag of lemon drops. I was so frightened that I practically ran away from him, knocking Dennis Creevy out of the way in the process. Poor boy. Oh well--I doubt he needed those teeth, anyways.

I've heard you had a band! I must say, that's rather surprising to me! I can play acoustic and my ex-boyfriend, who goes to Durmstrang, was teaching me the muggle electric over the summer, but I have yet to actually learn the official notes. I've brought my acoustic along with me to Hogwarts--I managed to get the signature of two of the three Weird Sisters upon it.

I saw your hair today during potions. Blue and black is quite fetching for you, and works rather well. I also heard that you're having problems with the piercing place you go to. I suggest "B.J.'s Custom Tattoos and Piercings" in London--he may be a muggle, but he does a decent job on it. He's the one who gave me my tongue stud and nose ring.

I hope you much luck with this Sylvia person--she sounds quite nice.

Until next time!

Jinx


Dear Jinx,

Yes, Rabastan and Bellatrix. It was rather nauseating. But yes Rodolphus wasn't pleased what so ever. You carry your fathers and your mother's name. Don't be ashamed of your father's name. Not all of the Lestrange family was bad. In fact they were well respected before Rabastan and Rodolphus. Well there is nothing to about that now is there?

Yes Albus D. is quite insane these days. Don't eat anything he gives you! If he gives you more food, give it to Weasley or Potter, they will eat anything. Also you're probably right Dennis Creevy probably didn't need those teeth anyway, he had way to many in that mouth of his anyway.

Yes, did you enjoy the performance of our band last Monday? We enjoyed getting back together. Maybe once you learn the muggle electric guitar we'll let you jam with us.

As for the piercing place. I appreciate your recommendation. My niece went there to get her lip pierced, only Merlin knows why she'd want even more she has too many as it is, and she said the service was impeccable and that the guy was very nice and clean.

Yes, Sylvia is quite the woman, she is wonderful. We've had some issues but all has been resolved.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. By the way do you play quidditch? We are down a chaser so if you wish to try out I'll put your name on the list.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Dear Master Snape Sir,

I is thinking sir is be interested to know Mr. Voldemort is not really dead, Sir. I is learning from Winky, sir, that sir's Master is having nine Horcruxes, not six. One is being a bottle of shampoo. Two is being dead Mr. Black's dog collar, and three is being the hot-pink plot bunnies havesing mad hot hot-pink plot bunny sex, sir.

I is hoping Master Snape sir is telling this to Wonderful Master Harry Potter the Most Greatest wizard who ever lived. And to Master Albus, the barmy codger.

I's is almost forgetting: I and Winky is thinking your blue hair is sexy, sir. Is sir willing to meet us at the top of the Astronomy Tower tonight?

With love,

Dobby.

P.S. Winky sayses bring butterbeer.


Dear Dobby and Winky,

I appreciate the tip on Voldemort. Potter has already set to work finishing the over grown snake off. And what in Merlin's name are plot bunnies, whatever they are they seem indecent.

And no I will not join you and Winky in the astronomy tower. However I will tell Potter to meet you there, I'm sure you will find him much sexier than myself. However I included a pair of socks for you Dobby and a case of butterbeer for Winky. I hope you enjoy the gifts.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Dear Professor Snape,

Sir, I'm really, really, really sorry to have to bother you like this, but I can't find my Head of House anywhere and Professor Dumbledore is really busy with...ah..."important things" he says he needs to do. Therefore, since my problem has to do with a person in your House, I feel that I must inform you about it. Sir...Crabbe is stalking me...

He is really scaring me to death. I can't even go to the bathroom anymore. Every time I turn around, there he is, staring at me with this "I'm stalking you" look on his face. Sir, I am very paranoid already and he is only making it worse. I would really appreciate it if you could please tell him to stop.

Sincerely,

Helena Nightsky


Dear Miss Nightsky,

It is not your fault so no need to be sorry. Crabbe has been efficiently handled. He will no longer bother you. If he comes hear press the button on the remote control I enclosed with the letter. When you push the button it will give a jolt of electricity to Crabbe. I do hope this helps. Send an owl or see me in my office if he persists.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Snivellus,

We call you Snivellus because we call you Snivellus(DUH!)What did you think! Maybe your slimy hair affected your brain.

Prongs would like to add,"ARGH! YOU DATED LILY! HOW DARE YOU! YOU EVIL UGLY SMELLY REVOLTING PEA BRAINED FAT SLIMY SNIVELLING GIT! YOU JUST WAIT TILL I GET YOU-"

JAMES POTTER! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BULLYING SNAPE!...SO WHAT IF I DATED HIM! THAT IS NONE OF YOUR STUPID BUISNESS! IF I CATCH YOU BULLYING SNAPE AGAIN, I WILL HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE!IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!" Lily punches James in the head and...Knock Out! Sirius splits his sides from laughing and rolls around the floor snorting with laughter.

Ten minutes later when James is conscious

Sirius would like to say that,"YOUR HAIR WILL NEVER BE AS SEXY AS MINE! MY HAIR HAS WON THE "BEST WIZARD HAIR AWARD", ENGLAND'S WIZARDS' HAIR COMPETETION AND 10 MORE!"

We would both like to state that, Prongsie and Paddyfoot know that old Snivelly is having an affair with Fudge. We are disgusted that you are cheating on Fudge with Remus. SHAME ON YOU! We always knew you were a two timer. By dating you.

We want to say that your love with Remus won't last because Remus deserves so much better. Remus should not go out with a two timer. And we know you are gay. If you ever marry Remus, you should let James be the best man.

No! Let me, Sirius, be the Best Man.

No! James!

No! Sirius!

James!

Sirius!

James!

Sirius!

ARGH! I'VE HAD IT ENOUGH WITH YOU TWO! STOP BULLYING SNAPE!...WAIT. SNAPE IS DATING REMUS! HOW DARE YOU, SEVERUS SNAPE! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! HOW CAN YOU DATE MY FRIEND AFTER DATING ME! YOU DESERVE TO DIE! I WILL KILL YOU, YOU SLIMBALL, YOU-" James and Sirius mutter,"Who's the one bullying snape, now?

Lily knocks out both of them

Screaming at you forever,

Lily Evans Snape Potter

Haunting you forever,

James Potter and Sirius Black


Potter, Black, and Lily,

Lily: Of course I'm not dating Remus. I'm not gay! I'm dating Sylvia Sinistra, don't you remember her from Hogwarts? She was that one Ravenclaw girl that you used to be friends with. Anyway I'll have a soft spot for you Lily, and no I don't mean that in a romantic sense considering you are married and I'm involved with someone. Please knock some sense into Potter and Black.

Potter: Yes I dated your wife. But that was like 18 years ago. And once again I'm not gay. I'm also not dating Remus. And I hope Lily beats you into a coma.

Black: You only won those hair contests when you were alive. However I'm known to have the best hair. Get over it Black!

S.S.


Dear Professor Snape

Cluck like a chicken every time I try to talk. Nice. I must admit, that is fairly evil. I admit, I was particularly mad when I tired to talk after reading your letter. Dell had a good laugh at me, and told me perhaps I should quit while I was ahead. Well, of course I wouldn't do that.

Albus D. should be almost normal by now. Well, he basically had his brain reset, so he will be a little off for a few days. Keep him away from flashing lights.

Now, here's the very funny thing. After hearing about what happened to you and Sylvia, I was going to give you a break. I had a comforting charm placed on a letter, ready to send. I was thinking Poor guy, after all this, he doesn't need more grief... At least not for a while... but once I started clucking like a chicken! Forget that!

Dell told you all about Rannma , right? As far as I hear, its a good anime.

Guy turns into a girl when he touches cold water, has to touch hot water to turn back. Fun right? Well I wouldn't know, but you will. I'm sure it wont be too bad. Maybe one day I'll tell you how I pulled this one off. Limit? I'll remove it when you beg.

Later!

Helen A.K.A Evil Incarnate

P.S. I hope Peeves doesn't find out about this lol.. Wonder if I can contact

Potter and Black with peeves water bombs of doom ( Muhahahahaha).


Dear Helen,

I'm sorry to have angered you. You had to know I would retaliate for that potterpuff thing. Honestly, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I wish to call a truce. You've humiliated me enough for awhile now. Now I will not retaliate against your current prank. I don't wish to beg for to be turned back to normal, but if I must I will speak to you in private. Write back with your answer.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Dear Professor Snape,

What do you mean you don't think Nott would be pleased?

CoCo


Dear Miss Romanoff,

Well what I mean is that Theodore Nott, aka Theo, quite fancies you. And when he read the letter he practically growled at me and told me to get uglier. Oh well.

Sincerely,

Professor Severus Snape


Dear Severus,

I had been hoping to respond to your reply sooner, but mid-semester exams have kept me busy (and hospitalized) for a few weeks. It's a shame that students nowadays are so . . . careless with the concoction of potions. Don't they realize that it's a highly delicate process that needs to be approached in a mature matter?

I must say I am impressed with the use of potions as airborne agents in the defeat of Voldemort. I had thought it might be possible, but when one of my seventh year students wanted to do his final composition on the subject, I felt the need to verify that it could actually be done.

One thing did happen to catch my attention in your response to my letter. You mentioned that we had been trained around the same time, and I spent a year studying in England, but I have trouble remembering names and faces.

I remember taking courses with an astounding young man, extremely gifted in potions and defense against the Dark Arts, but I can't remember (for the life of me) what his name was. He was intelligent, charming, but had a bit of a dark streak in him (personally I find that attractive in a man) . . . anyway . . . He made such an impression on me because he and I would challenge each other to "Potion Offs". I know it sounds silly, but if my students had half the dedication he did my job would be a great deal easier.

Yours Truly,

Alexis


Dear Alexis,

Oh I hope you are ok. Those examinations sound excruciating. Students are really careless with the art of potion making. It truly is a shame.

Yes, we did train around the same time. I do believe I am the young man you speak of. I have fond memories of you actually. And yes, I'm sure I do have quite the dark streak, but what pureblood raised by a pureblood nazi doesn't?

I do hope we can meet for lunch one day and catch up. Owl me with a date and time.

Sincerely,

Severus


A/N How did everyone like this chapter? It took me sometime to get the motivation…and not to mention to get in character. My friend Dell is the one who helps me get in character with our lovely RPG chats. Well I hope this chapter was good for everyone. Please send in your letters!

Sincerely,

Flair Verona the Slytherin Queen