Chapter 12

* little side note: this chapter will be in Eli's Perspective. PS: this is going to be a really short chapter, compared to the others.

Eli's Perspective:

these days I don't feel the same way. Clare helped me through everything in my life. It's like I don't know how to function without her. I feel like I'm losing everyone, I care about. First, I lost Julia, and now I'm losing Clare. Everything was going great with us. I had never felt so close to her, after winter break. I felt something special between us. I felt the way I did with Julia, and I know Clare felt something. But then Fitz had to come back and ruin everything. Why did he have to come back. I use to be the one she'd go to if she need a shoudler to cry on. Now I'm pretty sure he's who she goes to now. If this is true. How could she betray me like that. All I want to do is protect her, But she says I'm obsessed with Fitz and Julia. That's not true I'm obsessed with keeping her safe, I don't want to lose her like I lost Julia. Why can't she see it my way.

As I wait for the alarm to "Wake" me up. I haven't been sleeping since Clare left me.I got up and got ready for school. As I walked out the door, I heard Cece tell me to have a good day. Thanks. I replied. Driving to school i felt broken and lost. Clare brought joy to my life and now she wants nothing to do with have to change if I want Clare back in my life. First things first. I need to get rid of Julia, erase my mind, let all our memories go. Clare's right, She's gone and I need to move on. I'll take care of it afterschool. Now I just have to get through this day. It's going to be hard see

ing Clare, with her wonderful personality, those piercing blue eyes, and her bouncing auburn curls. But I'm going to do whatever I can to prove to her that I can change.

The day dragged on, It was almost impossible to sit through English and pretend like everything was okay. I could see in Clare's eyes that this was pure torture. Clare? i sighed. Yeah, she replied. It was wonderful hearing her voice. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for making you feel sufficated, and I'm trying to change for- Eli stop, Please I'm happy your trying to change, but you need to be changing for yourself, not for me. Clare interrupted. She was right, but the only way I'm going to change is if I have her for my inspiration. Okay,Clare, I'm sorry, But it's just how I feel, I told her. Eli, can we just get back to the assignment. she asked. Ofcourse, right. I replied.

The bell rang and for the first time, I wish it hadn't. Since this was the only time I got to spend with Clare, I never want it to end. But I had things to do. My first step to change was I need to get rid of everything that reminds me of Julia. I'm getting rid of all the pictures of us, all the stupid things I kept from our many date. But i'm keeping one single picture of her. That's it, The only way I can permanmently get rid of these things is to burn them, burn the memories, erase them from my mind. This is all happening at the perfect time. The dance, I'll go to the dance, and surprise Clare, I know before we broke up, she wanted us to go together. I can't wait to see her face, when she sees me there. Maybe that will make her see a slight change in my life.