Shadows prince: Hey guys! I have to admit that I still can not believe that you like my story! It is a very nice feeling, the feeling of being approved of I mean. Please keep on reviewing and tell me if there is something wrong. I love to know your ideas, what do you like about the story, what you dislike about the story, how do you want it to end and etc.

Thanks for your reviews. They really made my day!

Disclaimer: I have nothing to be proud of.

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Chapter 12

"Hey bro! I am home!"

Yuki set the news paper aside and glared at his young brother. His golden eyes were shining from anger, even now that his glasses were covering them. His long fingers were tapping on the wooden table and his eyes were staring at the boy not more than two feet away from him. Tatsuha smiled nervously and looked at the ceiling. It was never good to make his brother angry. Well, it was never good to make a Uesugi angry in general; so he did not say anything. He remembered once his brother had told him that no excuse was a good excuse.

The silence in the big room got unbearable.

"I am sorry okay? I did not mean to be late, but Ryuichi made a very delicious breakfast that I simply could not resist it!"

"Why I should care if you are late or not?"

Tatsuha almost groaned. So last night, it was an illusion when he had though his brother was beginning to care about him again. He almost sighed. No, Yuki never changed. You could not melt a man's icy heart only in one night. It was impossible anyway. No, Yuki never changed.

"So why are you angry?"

Yuki licked his lips and stared at the distance for a minute or two. When he stood up, Tatsuha could almost feel something different in his brother. He took a deep breath. It never was a good sign.

Yuki stood in front of his brother. His hands were clenching and unclenching. His usual calm and cold face was radiating anger and something more, something that truly worried Tatsuha. He did not like it at all.

Yuki closed his eyes.

"Just pray Tatsuha, just pray that he is wrong."

"What are you talking about brother?"

He reopened his eyes. It could not be true. His father was wrong. Mika was wrong. Tatsuha's fucking doctor was wrong. The world was wrong when it came to Tatsuha. He trusted Tatsuha. No, it was not true. There was nothing wrong with Tatsuha. His brother never did something stupid. It was not in his nature. Damn it! Tatsuha was more intelligent to do such a stupid thing.

"You damn well know what I am talking about. What you need at the moment is just praying and only praying cause not even the world can stop me when I decide to fucking kill you."

Eiri practically screamed the last sentence. Tatsuha quickly stepped back. He did not want to admit it, but he was scared of his brother at the moment. The way Yuki was looking at him, the way his eyes were narrowed and the way he screamed at him made him tremble with a new fear. He was afraid of many things, but never before had he been so afraid of his brother not even when he had broken Yuki's glasses when he was a child.

Yuki stepped closer.

"What's wrong Yuki?"

Yuki did not say anything for a moment. He closed his eyes to regain his compose, but it did not help. He was too angry to control his voice now. When he had heard from Mika that…no damn it no! It was not true. It was not true. It simply could not be true.

"Tatsuha…"

Eiri's voice was low, dangerous and threatening, promising Tatsuha that what he was saying was simply the truth. Promising that he was going to do exactly what he was going to say.

"Tatsuha, did you need it so badly?"

Tatsuha stared at his brother confused. What was going on? Everybody was talking riddles to him lately. Everybody was acting strange, his father, his mother. it was not normal for her sister to scream at him like that. True, Mika got angry too easily, but she had never slapped him before, something she did last night for a very pathetic excuse and now Yuki. Was he missing something?

He heard his brother's voice.

"What does sex mean to you?"

"What are you…"

"ANSWER MY QUESTION!"

Tatsuha swallowed.

"It's…I don't know…I think it is...something good. Yeah, it's something good and necessary."

Yuki took a deep breath and fisted his hands into balls. He took another deep breath, another, and then another, but it did not calm him down. He was afraid he was going to do something stupid from rage.

"Necessary Tatsuha? Is it your way of showing that you have grown up? Is it your way of showing your needs? God, I want to hit you so hard…"

He took another deep breath.

"Did you need sex? All right I understand, but in order to start doing something, you need to learn its rules. You have to play fair. It does not mean sleeping with every fucking person that offers himself to you! Did you need it? I swear, God I swear I would fuck you nonstop if this was what you needed. Fuck what people were going to say! I would do it if it meant stopping this from happening."

He pressed tatsuha to the wall and grabbed his arms.

"Shit Tatsuha! If what they have told me is true, I am going to rip your heart from your chest before you can spell the world sex!"

"What…what have I done?"

He released Tatsuha and turned around. No other hurtful words came from Erir's mouth.

"I am going to go work. There are some left over in the refrigerator."

"I...am going to work too. I have found a job."

Yuki did not turn around.

"What job?"

"I am driving for a rich man."

Yuki shut the door behind him self and left a trembling boy behind.

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Eiri kept staring at the papers on his desk. He just couldn't believe his eyes. He told himself over and over that it was impossible, that it couldn't be true but here, these innocent papers were proving him that he was wrong.

Eiri closed his eyes. Everything was dancing around him. Lighting up a cigarette he opened his eyes and stared at those innocent papers again. He didn't know if today was colder than usual or he was feeling this cold. These fucking papers...

Today was getting worse and worse, first Tatsuha and now this…

"Ryuichi, are you completely sure?"

"I'm positive. I didn't expect the results to be this bad but ...I don't know what to say. Poor boy, He looks energetic."

Eiri stood up and stood next to the window and looked at the cloudy, grey sky. He noticed absentmindedly that Shuichi was so much like the sky. He was so clean and honest.

'He's an innocent angel. How somebody can be so innocent?'

Ryucihi put a hand on Eiri's shoulder. Eiri only closed his eyes. He just didn't want to believe it. He kept repeating to himself that it wasn't true but he knew that this cruel world didn't show any mercy to people, not even to that innocent angel, not even his own brother.

"What's wrong Eiri? Do you know that boy?"

Eiri turned around. The rain had begun. Drops of rain were hitting the window with a loud noise. It was so foggy that you couldn't see anything out side. Today was really quiet. The sky had become completely grey. It was how Eiri was feeling, grey, completely gray.

"Ryucihi, you are the best doctor that I have come to know. Can I ask you to examine him again? It's just...not possible. Maybe you'll find another way..."

Ryuichi only sighed. He could see that Eiri was highly upset but he didn't know why. Why was that pink hair boy so important to Eiri? As far as Ryuchi was concerned, Eiri didn't give a damn about anybody.

"If that's what you want, I'll do it but I'm sure about these results. It's only..."

Suddenly the door opened and a nurse hurriedly came inside. She was panting heavily. Waiting for a moment to catch her breath, she practically screamed:

"Doctor Yuki. We need you in emergency! A child is dying!"

Yuki didn't wait for another second. Putting on his glasses, he ran out of his office. As he was running toward the emergency part of the hospital, he promised to himself that he wouldn't let Shuichi die, no matter how hard it was.

'Shuichi is mine. I won't lose him. I won't let death have him. I'm ready to fight death. It's what I do everyday.'

Mrs. Tailor was dying from worry. She was either pacing in the narrowed hallway or staring at the blue door and it was making every body crazy but to be honest, nobody had the heart to tell her to have a seat. Everybody could feel her anxiety.

Finally tired, she sat on the blue chair and rested her head on her hands which were shaking strongly. Some times later, Hands were clenching and unclenching her long black skirt and her face was deadly pale .Every body knew that she had the right to be this worried. Her five years old daughter had gone into the surgery room two hours ago and she had to admit that these two hours were the longest hours she had waited in her life.

The nurses looked at her and shook their heads with pity. The poor woman was really nervous. One of the nurses put her gloved hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Mrs. Tailor. Doctor Yuki will do anything to save her. He is the best doctor I have ever seen in my life. Just pray."

Mrs. Tailor nodded helplessly and bitted her lip. Her body was trembling with the fear of losing her small child but there was nothing she could do. Her daughter was dying and all she could do was to sit and wait.

Two long hours became four long hours. She was almost falling sleep on the uncomfortable chair when the blue door slightly opened. Her heart almost stopped beating and with shaky legs she stood and leaned on the wall.

Nobody was around. All the nurses were gone. It was a torturing silence. The only noise was coming from the nurses who were still in the surgery room. Every body knew that silence was never a good sign.

Doctor Yuki looked tired, very tired. His blue dress was wet with red blood and his hair was a mess. He had even forgotten to take off his glasses. He glanced at the middle aged woman and bit his lip. Toying with the white mask in his hand, he sighed and waited for the woman to ask the damned question.

Mrs. Tailor took a deep breath and stared at the tall man. She wanted to say something but no word came out from her mouth. That look on doctor Yuki's face was showing everything but she didn't believe it. She simply couldn't believe it. Voice trembling with fear, she asked:

"My daughter, she's alive, right? Please doctor Yuki tell me she's alive!"

Yuki sighed and took of his glasses. He looked much older than before. He looked like an old tired man who only wanted to sleep. Sighing again he whispered:

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Tailor. I did whatever I could but, your daughter's condition was really bad. She...she died ten minutes ago."

Mrs. Tailor stood motionless and stared at the young doctor. It looked like she had forgotten to breathe. Her face had gone paler than before and her trembling had gotten worse but Eiri didn't say anything.

Finally with a laud cry she fell on the hard, white floor and began to whip. Her hand was clutching her daughter's favorite doll .It was never going to be used again. It was a heartbreaking sight.

She was whispering incoherent words .Her tears were soaking the floor .Every body nearby was shaking their heads. They had seen so many sights like this but, a five-year-old child...

Doctor Yuki didn't move at all. He just took off his blue dress and leaned on the wall. He was too tired to move. His head was beginning to ache. All he needed was a cigarette to forget about tonight. He was sure that he wasn't going to forget those baby blue eyes of that child. He badly needed a cigarette and a bottle of beer. He had to forget about tonight.

He looked at the woman but kept his silence. He wasn't a good comforter. He had never comforted anybody and he wasn't about to start it now. In his opinion, there was no use in crying over something that was done. He had done what he could do.

The woman was still crying...

Shuichi was passing the hallway when he heard somebody crying. Glancing at the hallway, he saw a woman, sitting on the floor and crying her eyes out. Next to her, a man was leaning on the wall. As he looked more closely, he recognized the man. It was doctor Yuki. There was no other doctor, who had golden hair. He didn't want to go there. He wasn't ready to face him but that woman...

'I can't let her cry until tomorrow! '

Going into the silent hallway, he swallowed and kneeled next to the woman. He could feel Yuki's eyes on him but didn't look up .He didn't want to look into those golden eyes at the moment. They reminded him of that kiss and how they looked when they were kissing. They were clouded with...

Shaking his head, He put his hands on the woman's shoulder. The woman was waiting for this movement. Immediately hugging Shuichi, she cried on his shoulder and started to speak.

"She was only five! Oh my god, she was only five! She had so many dreams. Oh, she was so beautiful! What should I do now? I can't live without her .My lovely little princess."

Shuichi patted her shoulders and let her cry. So her daughter was dead and her mother was suffering the pain here. What life did to people? What a cruel faith and he knew it was wrong but he was feeling jealous.

'When I die, Will somebody cry for me? Will anybody even notice that I'm gone?'

Shaking his head again he cupped the woman's head in his hands and smiled warmly. True, he never saw his mother. He never saw kindness in his father's eyes. Nobody had ever cared for him. Not even him but, it had never stopped him from showing kindness to other people before and it wasn't going to stop him now.

Mrs. Tailor was looking at him. Silent tears were running on her cheeks. Her eyes looked empty and sorrowful .Shuichi guessed that they were reflecting what she was feeling at the moment.

"I'm sure that she'll go to heaven. Angels will take care of her in the most beautiful places in heaven. She'll come and see you everyday. She certainly doesn't want to see her mom crying. It will break her small heart. Don't you think so?"

More tears ran on her cheek and she looked down. When she lifted her eyes, there were no tears in them. Standing up shakily, she tiredly smiled and put the doll into her bag.

"You're right. I shouldn't make her upset anymore. She suffered for five years. It's not right to let her suffer more. I'm going to find her father. I suppose he's dying from worry."

She hadn't gone too far when she came back and took out the doll from her bag. Smiling more warmly this time, she handed the doll to Shuichi and ruffled his pink hair. Shuichi looked at her confused and looked at the small doll. Even the doll looked upset.

"Have it young boy. In this way, my daughter will come and visit you too. I'm sure she'll fall in love you. Get better soon."

And with that she turned around and walked away. She didn't come back to that hallway anymore.

Shuichi could still feel Yuki's stare on him and this time he looked at him. His eyes were narrowed with anger and hatred toward the young doctor. His body was burning with a familiar anger toward the beautiful man. All Shuichi could think was that Doctor Yuki's heart was made of ice.

Yuki looked at the boy's lavender eyes. They looked angry, very angry, but, Yuki kept his cool. It wasn't his fault that the child died. Remembering the kiss, he closed his eyes and reopened them. He could still feel those soft lips on his.

Shuichi was still kneeling on the floor. His hands were clutching the doll on his lap. He kept taking deep breaths but no air went into his lungs. The way doctor Yuki was looking at him so coolly made him want to yell but, he stopped himself. He wasn't going to lose his temper in front of that cold as ice man.

"Couldn't you comfort her? How can you call yourself doctor? Haw can you call yourself human!"

Yuki stood straight and throw his bloody dress on the chair. Shuichi was the last person he wanted to see and to his bad luck, here he was, accusing him for something he had no control over. Sometimes it was really hard to hear people say those harsh words to him but, to hear it from Shuichi...

"I didn't feel like talking to her. She didn't need my comfort. There was nothing I could do anyway."

Shuichi clenched his teeth together. This ...this man knew nothing of pain. Didn't he know how hard it was to lose somebody dear? Shuichi had never seen somebody close to him die because simply he had nobody close to him except his abusive father and his father was not dear to him but, he could understand how people felt when they lost someone dear. Couldn't he understand what that woman was going through? Finally losing his temper he screamed:

"You...you bastard! Couldn't you see how much she was suffering? Couldn't you comfort her? You...You have no emotions in you! Do you no what emotion is?"

Suddenly, Shuichi found himself pressed to the cold wall. Yuki's hands were clutching his forearms painfully and his chest was pressed to Shuichi's. Hi eyes were narrowed and full of something that Shuichi hadn't seen before. A long leg was between his legs and unconsciously or maybe consciously was rubbing a very private place.

"Do not talk about emotions when you know nothing of it. Do you know anything at all?"

Yuki's voice was barely above a whisper. His lips were near Shuichi's ear .A chill ran down on his spine. He knew he had to be afraid. He knew that Yuki could hurt him but he wasn't scared. In fact, he was enjoying the touch too much to be scared. It was a new feeling for him. Before this every body that went close to him had hurt him, physically and emotionally. Every body had left him wounded but not doctor Yuki. No, he didn't hurt him. No, Yuki didn't think that he was disgusting. He had even kissed him! He felt his heart warm up at the thought.

Yuki's hands where on his shoulders now. They weren't painful anymore. Although they were very cold, Shuichi still liked the feeling he was receiving from Yuki. He felt...safe. Yes, for the first time in his life he was feeling safe. Safeness was a nice feeling. It was so sweet that he felt his heart melt in it.

Yuki cupped the boys face in his cold hands .It was very warm against his hands. Probably because the boy had fever but he didn't mind .He hadn't felt warm for such a long time that it felt new to him. It was making his fingers tickle.

Shuichi was looking at him with those big, innocent eyes of his. This time, there was no trace of fear them. There was only hope .They were shining with such happiness that Yuki had to smile at them. Shuichi was the only person who could make him truly smile at the most stupid things.

Slowly, very slowly, he caught those soft, pink lips with his. What he had felt before wasn't wrong. They were soft and warm. Yuki didn't do anything else. It was so unlike of him but he didn't rush. He just let the boy circle his small hands around his neck. He could feel his heartbeat. It was fast. Yuki had to smirk at the thought that he was the one who was making Shuichi's heart beat faster.

Suddenly his mind began to work again. He was in a hospital .He was a doctor, Shuichi was his patient and every body could see them in this state. He draw his head back but this time he stared at the boys eyes and to his relief, there was no regret in them, Only shyness was shining in those bright eyes.

Standing straight and ruffling the boy's pink hair he whispered:

"Go to your room. I'll see you tomorrow morning in my office."

And he was gone. Shuichi stood where he was, motionless. His mind was hazy and his body was warm. Raising his hand slowly he touched his lips. They felt ticklish. He could clearly remember the man's chest that was pressed to his He could remember the man's hands that were nuzzling his sensitive neck and he could still fell the beautiful man's leg that was rubbing his private area more fiercely than before.

Finally getting a grasp on himself, he bent and picked up the doll. It looked happier now. Maybe, it had witnessed the kiss. Its smiling face made Shuichi smile too.

"Are you happy for me little doll? Did you know that it was my first kiss? Well...to tell you the truth it was my second one but the first one was a bit odd so, that doesn't count."

Going to his room, quietly, He lied down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The ceiling looked friendly for the first time in his life. Shuichi giggled and whispered:

"Maybe the ceiling has witnessed my second kiss too!"

And for the first time in a long time, he slept peacefully.