Chapter 12
Beginning of the End Part 3
Chris, sighing contently, inhaled the sweet-smelling breeze rushing past her as she soaked in her lush surroundings. Taking back the word 'lush', she supposed it was ill-suited to describe to torrid air and sand that littered the sides of the road. The desert she was presently traveling through went on for miles, and squinting, she wasn't able to spot anything of importance in the distance. If one were to become stranded in such an expansive space, she doubted they would be able to escape without succumbing to the elements first.
"...The air does smell nice though..."
She faced forward and carefully eyed the other occupants of the red car she was in. Sam and Clover were busy whispering to one another. Though unable to hear them, Chris could read their lips at certain points and determined they were discussing what to do when they got to WOOHP. Chris still had no clue what WOOHP even was, but she did get that she and the others had to get there as soon as possible to stop some kind of crisis.
"You know, it would help if you included me in on your conversation. I won't be able to help if I don't even know what's going on."
Sam looked up at her. "Er...s-sorry, Chris. We weren't trying to keep it a secret from you. Honest. You're absolutely right though. We'll try to answer whatever questions you have. You must have tons considering you lost your memory."
"Good. Firstly, why is Alex the one driving this thing?"
The reason Chris wanted to know was because the car would swerve to the left or the right from time to time like the driver were trying to dodge some invisible obstacles. It made Chris nervous enough that she was tempted to ask to switch places with her friend.
"Hey! Are you trying to say I can't drive or something?!" yelled Alex. She momentarily removed her concentration from the road to glare at Chris, forcing the others to inform her to dodge a cactus off road before it was too late. "T-That was close! Uh...I mean, I-I totallymeant to do that! Yeah!"
Sam weakly replied, "Y-You're doing fine, Alex. Just...pay a bit more attention."
"Seriously! This ismy car, so if you wreck it, you're so paying for a new one!" Clover informed her in no, uncertain terms.
"If it's your car, why aren't you driving?" asked Chris.
"Well, I would, but I totally just got a new manicure and don't want to ruin it!"
Desiring to say something, Chris simply closed her ajar jaw, shook her head, and went back to gazing at tumbleweeds roll past the vehicle.
"She's not serious!" Sam assured Chris. "Alex sorta insisted on driving, and we really didn't have the time to argue with her, so we just let her."
"And it was so a good decision!" Alex declared. Her confident grin faded when the car hit a rather deep pothole. "A-Agh! S-Sorry! I didn't see that one!"
"That's why I'm telling you to pay attention!" pleaded Sam, who was beginning to worry.
"Is there no faster way to get to this WOOHP place?" asked Chris.
Alex growled. "Hey, back seat driver, I'm going as fast as I can! This bucket of bolts is a used car though, so it doesn't move all that fast!"
Chris held her arms up defensively and sighed.
"Oooh! What I wouldn't give to be WOOHPed right now!" said Clover. "Jer always picks the dumbest times to drag us to him except for when we really need it!"
"Scar must have done something to him. Otherwise, he would have already done that," said Sam. Reaching for something in the glove department, she grabbed a pink, compact mirror.
"Are you really checking your makeup right now?" asked Chris dryly.
Sam frowned. "It's not that kind of mirror. This is called an X-Powder. It's actually a high-tech gadget. Then again, I guess you already knew that. Well, I guess you didbefore you lost your memory...er...y-you get my point!"
"Er...sure I do. Would you mind giving me a refresher course anyway? What does that thing do exactly?"
"Well, usually, it would let us contact WOOHP, but the signal is down right now. I'm guessing that Scar guy has something to do with that."
"What a jerk! I'm so gonna punch that guy in the mouth the next time we see him!" said Alex. The others fearfully peered at her in a manner that suggested she keep her eyesight forward and her rage in check. "I know, I know! Pay attention! Got it! You guys don't have to be so mean about it..."
Clover, sitting up a little to see the road ahead, whined, "Ugh! Just how long does this stupid road last?!"
"Seriously. It feels like we've been driving forever," voiced Chris.
"Ahem! Who is this 'we' you're talking about?!" Annoyed, Alex scowled at her friends.
"S-Sorry."
Sam, retrieving a map of the area, said, "We should reach Los Angeles in a little while. Just...try to hang in there, girls. Complaining isn't going to help us get to WOOHP any faster."
"Speaking of which, what exactly do you three intend to do when you get there?" asked Chris. "Judging from your apprehension, I'd say this Scar fellow won't be so easy to take down. Do you have any weapons or something similiar to fight him with?"
"No," replied Sam, shaking her head. "I was hoping you might have some gadgets on you."
"Me? Why would I..." Chris paused, reminding herself she was supposed to be some sort of spy. With that in mind, it wouldn't be strange for her to possess things of that nature. "...Let me double check."
She rummaged through her bag, recalling it being on her person when she first awoke, though she wasn't sure where it had come from. There were a variety of unnoteworthy things inside, including a now empty water canteen, changes of clothes, items for keeping proper hygiene, and a black, fountain pen.
"Maybe you could stab the guy with this or something," she joked, holding the pen up. Wincing at the deadpan looks she received, she chose not to fool around anymore. "Sorry. Seems like I don't have anything of interest after all."
Alex pouted. "Guess we're on our own then..."
"Mind if I borrow that pen?" asked Clover. Chris nodded and gave it to her. "Thanks!"
"What do you need that for?" asked Sam.
"I need to write what to get at The Groove after all this blows over! There's no way I'm gonna remember while trying to take down that Scar guy and save WOOHP!"
A bead of sweat rolled down the other's heads as she committed her thoughts to paper.
"Only you could be so relaxed despite what we're about to do, Clover," said Sam.
Clover didn't hear this. She was far too busy finishing off her shopping list. The last item was a pair of Yves Mont Blanc boots, yet when she attempted jotting this down, she was surprised to see a smoldering hole burned into her notepad. The pen Chris gave her had fired out a red laser beam that went right through the bottom of the car.
"Seriously?! My parents are gonnakill me when they see that!"
"W-What...just happened?!" inquired Sam, who was bracing herself.
"I-I dunno, but I'm just gonna keep on driving!" muttered Alex.
"Would...that constitute as a gadget?" asked Chris innocently. No one was able to give her an answer because everyone was distracted by the car's radio coming to life on its own.
"Hello out there, listeners! I hope you enjoyed that last track titled Evil By Day, Evil By Night! You can only listen to it and other great hits on 107.5, the SAGA!"
"Hey, didn't I tell you not to touch my radio without asking, Alex?!" said Clover testily.
"H-Huh?! My hands have been on the wheel the whole time! How could I have turned it on?!"
"She's right, Clover! It literally just came on by itself!" said Sam.
"I've never heard of this particular radio station. It must be new," chimed Chris.
The DJ, speaking in a suave voice, went on with, "Alright, listeners! Our next track was specially requested by someone truly vile! That's right, Scar of SOAP, this one's for you! I like to call this song Bye Bye, Spies!"
Without warning, loud and obnoxious heavy metal music blared out of the car's speakers. The vehicle's occupants covered their ears, feeling an intense pain shoot through their whole bodies.
"W-What's going on?!" Sam questioned.
"Gah! I've heard of music so bad it hurts, but this is ridiculous!" said Chris.
"We...gotta turn off the radio!" cried Clover. "Alex!"
"T-Trying to drive here!" replied Alex.
"R-Right! Leave it to me then!"
Clover repeatedly jabbed her foot against the radio, but for whatever reason, it refused to turn off. Adding to the group's woes was Alex losing control of the car and crashing into a stop sign.
"A-Agh! That one is going to leave a mark," Chris muttered as she rubbed her aching head. "Good thing I had my seatbelt on."
"Is everyone alright?!" asked Sam groggily. "H-Hey, the music! It's stopped!"
The radio, like most of the car, had been totalled by the crash.
"Well, I guess that's one way to do it!" Alex flashed a thumbs up. "Er...sorry about your car, Clover!"
Clover was too busy seeing stars to pay Alex's comment any mind. Sam, carefully climbing out of the now ruined vehicle, stepped in front of it to inspect the damage. She grimaced at the billowing, black smoke coming out of the nasty gash created from the impact.
"Bad news, girls. Looks like we're going to have to walk from here."
Her friends exited the car too prior to all of them groaning at their terrible luck. There was nothing to save them nearby, and according to Sam's map, there wouldn't be anything of that nature for a number of miles.
"I totally don't have the shoes for this!" yelled Clover.
"Forget about that," said Chris. "What the hell was up with that music earlier?"
Footsteps danced against the road behind the girls, prompting them to face the individual making them. The older gentleman, having long, silver hair that covered the left side of his face, smirked. Chris' eyes widened when she noticed his left arm was replaced by a metal prosthetic.
"Ladies, it's been too long!" he said.
"Do you three know this clown?" asked Chris.
The man's face reddened. "'C-Clown?!' Just who do you think you are, young lady?!"
"You first. If you're going to ask for someone's name, you should at least have the decency to give them yours first."
"Sebastian Saga?!" shouted Sam. "How did you get out of the containment facility at WOOHP?!"
Sebastian Saga replied, "It was quite simple actually! Some fellow by the name of Scar has taken over WOOHP, and he was nice enough to release us prisoners from ourvery unjust imprisonment!"
"W-Wait a sec! What do you mean 'us prisoners?!'" asked Clover.
"It's just like I said, girls!All of the prisoners have been released! Needless to say, they'll all be coming after you in due time! Not like they're going to get a chance though! I'm going to personally dispose of you pesky spies once and for all!"
"D-Did you hear that, girls?!" cried Alex, clearly panicking. "Do you realize how many criminals we've locked up over the years?!"
"Unfortunately," replied Sam bitterly.
"Seriously, who is this clown? You three obvious know him from somewhere," said Chris.
"D-Did she just call me a 'clown' again?" mumbled Sebastian. "Why, that little…!"
Clover said, "All you need to know is that he's bad news, Chris!"
Chris nodded. "...I see. I guess you guys are gonna have to fight him then."
"Whadya mean 'you guys?!'" asked Alex. "You gotta help too!"
Chris shook her head. "No thanks. This doesn't have anything to do with me, so I think I'll just stay on the sidelines. Besides, I'm just a waitress. I don't know anything about fighting."
"Oh no you don't, missy!" Clover yanked a squirming Chris by the ear and dragged her to the front. "This is your problem as much as it is ours now!"
"C-Come again?! H-Hey, you're pulling too hard, Clover! S-Seriously, stop it!"
Grumbling, Sebastian made his way over to the silver van behind him before putting on some earplugs and grabbing a remote control. A pair of over-sized speakers came out of the roof of the vehicle at the press of a red button. With another press, irritating rave music clamored out of them. The girls responded by hastily shielding their ears once more.
"Ugh! Not again!" exclaimed Alex.
"Can't this guy make at least one decent song?!" complained Clover.
"A-Am I the only one who can't move over here?!" asked Chris.
"N-No, it's the same with me! That music must have some sort of paralyzing effect!" answered Sam.
"That's right, ladies!" Sebastian stated as he inched toward his powerless victims. "You all should consider yourselves fortunate! You're the first to sample my latest track!"
"Argh! Pretty sure my eardrums are bleeding right now!" cried Alex.
"Sammy, plan, NOW!" shrieked Clover.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" Although she claimed this, Sam struggled to come up with anything. The horrid music was just far too distracting. "C-Chris, do you still have that pen?!"
"S-Sure, but there's no way I could get to it like this..." Chris muttered.
With that option out, Sam had to go to Plan B. She managed to move her hand into her pocket, despite it feeling like lead, prior to retrieving a simple piece of tissue.
"Uh, Sammy? I don't think this is the time for you to be blowing your nose!" said Alex.
Ignoring this, Sam ripped the paper in half and placed the separated bits into both of her ears. Thanks to this, she wasn't able to hear Sebastian's music, which in turn allowed her the use of her limbs. Before he took heed of what she was up to, she charged at him and rendered him unconscious using a flying kick. A bunch of his teeth sailed across the air while his body hit the ground with a thud.
"Yeah!" proclaimed Sam.
"I can understand you wanting to celebrate, butplease do something about that stupid song first!" Chris barked.
"O-Oh! Right! I'm on it!"
Sam hurried inside the van, finding the off switch for the speakers in due time.
"That was close!" Alex sighed in relief. "Thanks, Sam! Nice thinking with the tissue thing!"
"Yeah! Who'd've thought something so simple would end up saving our skins!" said Clover.
"Impressive. You three really are spies," added Chris. "I would've never thought to do something like that."
Sam, pulling the tissue out of her ears, replied, "Trust me, Chris. You would."
Chris raised an eyebrow at this, but left the matter alone and faced the now unmoving Sebastian Saga. She poked at his face with her finger, garnering a low moan from the man.
"What a pushover," she muttered. "What do you guys want to do with him?"
"Just leave him there. We'll have WOOHP come pick him up after we take care of the mess there," stated Sam. "I'm honestly more worried about what Sebastian said about all those criminals that got out of the containment facility."
Chris, standing, gestured behind her friends. "Would...those people over there happen to be more of them?"
Sam, Clover, and Alex really didn't want to turn around to find out who or what she was referring too. They forced themselves anyway, and all of them gasped at the same time.
"Haha! Are you girls shocked to see us again?!" asked Terrence Lewis, leader of the LAMOS. Standing beside him were the other members of the group, each grinning as smugly as he was. "It doesn't matter how many times you lock us up! We won't stop until you and my insufferable brother are destroyed!"
"The LAMOS?! I'm so not in the mood to deal with them!" said Alex.
"Totes! These guys are like a nasty cockroach that just keeps coming back!" said Clover.
"Regardless of how we feel about them, this is bad, girls! We're not equipped to take them all on at the same time!" said Sam.
"...Wait a second. These guys are called the...LAMOS?" Chris, though trying her hardest not to, burst out in uncontrollable laugher. Crying, she added, "T-That's thestupidest name I've ever heard of! Ahahahaha!"
A pounding vein popped up on Terrence's reddening forehead. "W-Why you! Still mocking us, I see!"
"Yo, not cool!" said Boogie Gus. "This chick is always like this!"
Helga von Guggen, who was just as irked, stated, "Tsk! I should've known she would be here with the rest of her friends! Just seeing her face again is making me upset!"
"Hey, this is actually a good thing!" Tim Scam hoisted his patented Bubble Blaster 9000 over his shoulder as he added, "If she's here, we won't have to waste time tracking her down after we take care of her buddies over there!"
"That's right! It's time for these rambunctious brats to be disciplined once and for all!" cried Myrna Beesbottom.
"That's strange. You people talk about me like you know me or something," said Chris, putting her hands on her hips. "Have we met before?"
Terrence nearly choked on his own spit. "C-Come again?! How could you possibly forget who we are?! We certainly haven't forgottenyou! If it weren't for your meddling, we would have...!"
"Nope. Still drawing a blank here. Pretty sure I'd recall a wacky group such as yours."
Terrence's colleagues had to hold him back from lashing out at Chris over her ignorance.
"Not so fast there, Terrence. She's obviously just trying to provoke us," said Tim Scam calmly.
"Yes. You're probably right." Fixing his ruffled clothing, Terrence again beamed. "Your tricks won't work on me, girl! Now then, enough fooling around! Let us settle this matter once and for all!"
Chris, giving up, merely shrugged her shoulders.
"You LAMOS got another thing coming if you think we're going down without a fight!" Clover proclaimed.
"Yeah! We totally don't have time to waste on you losers! Jerry needs our help!" added Alex.
"Yes, and I'vealready grown tired of dealing with you lot," said Chris. She relaxed her body into a fighting stance that came natural to her. "If we're gonna do this, let's get this over with already."
"You foxy ladies really think you'll be able to keep up with our rhythm this time around?" said a self-assured Boogie Gus. "Check it! We're totally gonna get a nice reward for taking you girls down!"
"That's right! That Scar fellow promised us a nice amount of cash and a new submarine if we defeated you brats!" Helga explained. Alongside a haughty series of laughs, she added, "You might have gotten the better of us last time, butwe're the ones who'll be walking away victorious this go about!"
She began tittering even harder, making one Tim Scam shake his head.
"There she goes again..." he uttered.
"Ignore her. We have bigger fish to fry!" replied Myrna.
Terrence agreed. "Scar also said I could have a shot at that lousy excuse for a brother of mine if we did this! Quite honestly, that's all I needed to hear!"
Though Terrence was eager to make a move, it was Boogie Gus entering the fray to start off. He almost nailed Chris with a leaping kick, but she rolled out of harm's way in the nick of time, somewhat startled by his swift movements.
"Heh! Let's dance, girl!" he said to her. "Lemme see you cut a rug!"
"No thanks. People tell me I have two left feet when I'm out there on the dance floor."
Chris struck back at him with a straight punch. Gus dodged it and attempted kicking her upside the head. Blocking this intuitively, Chris turned his momentum against him, flipping and then flooring him.
"Whoa! Looks like you still got the moves!" he exclaimed, hand springing to his feet. "Ha! You won't be able to boogie with me much longer though after I step it up!"
Growling, Chris answered, "Do you always talk like this?! I can't even figure out what you're saying half the time! Not to mention it looks like you two-stepped your way out of a time machine! Tell me, how was it frolicing with the dinosaurs?"
Gus, mortified by the insult, blared, "W-What?! No way! You're still dissing my style! Tsk! Now I get it! Check it, you're just jealous those rags you got on now aren't half as happening as what I'm wearing!"
"Is that so? You look like you got into a fight with a flea market and lost."
Gus was beside himself with rage. He readied to go back on the attack. However, Myrna Beesbottom abruptly pushed him aside and nearly caught Chris off guard with a furor of punches and kicks.
"H-Hey! Y-You can't just step in the middle of my groove like that!" said Gus. No one paid him any mind though, and he twiddled his thumbs in defeat. "Not groovy, yo…"
"I've had enough of your incompetence! I'll handle things from here!" Myrna told him.
Unable to counterattack, Chris held up her arms to block Myrna's assault. A kick to her midsection blasted her across the sandy ground. With the wind taken out of her, she clutched her stomach as Myrna stood over her triumphantly.
"Hmm? You've gotten much slower since our last fight, girl! Are you that frightened of me?"
"Tsk. I have no clue why you freaks keep talking as if you know me. To be honest, it's a bit insulting." Chris got up and tried ignoring her pain. "Besides, it's not like I even know what I'm doing right now. My body is just moving on instinct at this point."
The remarks perplexed Myrna, but she hadn't the opportunity to inquire about them. Alex flipped over Chris just then and punched her so hard, the former WOOHP agent began seeingstars.
"You alright, Chris?" asked Alex.
"I'll live. Hmm. You saving me like this is giving me déjà vu..."
"Ngh! Don't think you're getting away striking at your former nanny without a proper dose of punishment, Alex!" said Myrna, holding her bloodied nose.
"'Nanny?'" Chris repeated.
"T-That's was like forever ago!" a blushing Alex quickly clarified. "And it was totally Jerry's idea!"
"Having a nanny isn't anything embarrassing, Alex. Lots of kids have had them."
"Er...t-this was only a couple of months ago though..."
Chris froze in place. "Er...right. I'll just leave it at that then..."
"L-Little...help...over here...girls!" wheezed Sam. Helga von Guggen was strangling her to death using a fur scarf.
"Haha! I believe you'll find this scarf is to...'die for!'" taunted Helga.
"I'm comin', Sammy!" Clover shouted. "And that is oneugly scarf!"
"W-What?! How could you say such a thing about my latest work?! Clearly, you know nothing about fashion, little girl!"
Clover's eyelid twitched. "M-Me?! Your eyesight must be spotty, grandma! I'll have you know that I'm so at the top of my fashion design class! Not to mention the fact...!"
"A-As impressive as that is...Clover...HELP!" Sam proclaimed.
"R-Right! My bad! I'll just...!" Clover found herself suddenly placed inside a giant, red bubble the second she was going to spring into action. "Hey, what gives?!"
Tim Scam walked forward and said, "Heh. Allow me to introduce you to my Bubble Blaster 9000, Clover! Stay cozy in there while I take care of the rest of your friends!"
"Lemme outta here, you creep!"
"Sorry. No can do! Don't think you'll be able to break out of there on your own either. You see, that's because my bubbles are special in that..."
"You talk too much."
Chris nearly got an unsuspecting Tim Scam from behind. At the last second, he spiraled around and fired on her, encasing her in a bubble as well.
"...Dammit. You move rather quickly for an imbecile," she said, touching her prison inquisitively. "I thought I had you."
"Heh. You almost did. I guess I'm just used to your tricks now!"
"Hmph. I guess I really must've fought you guys before if you can predict my movements. Still, why bubbles? I mean, you're right about us not being able to do anything, but I'm still breathing in here. Why not just a heat ray or something to finish me off? You could've at least taken the air out of here so I'd suffocate over time. Guess I'd starve to death eventually, but..."
Tim Scam cocked his eyelids. "...Believe it or not, stuff like that costs time and effort. While someone of my skills could easily put something like that together, being locked up at WOOHP left me with few resources and alternatives."
"So, that somehow gives you an excuse for making an oversized children's toy?"
"W-Why you...!" Grinding the rows of his pearly, white teeth, Scam soon came to his senses. "Wait, I know what you're doing! The others might not be so bright, but I'm not falling for this! You're trying to get me upset so I make a mistake! Heh, you can taunt me all you want, but in the end, you and the your spy pals are finished!"
"Man, is that all you guys know how to say?" A familiar sense of exasperation hit Chris like a tidal wave. Even if her memory remained hazy, her gut reminded her how much the LAMOS tended to try her patience. "If you're going to kill me, just get it over with already. Anything's better than listening to you people prater on like this."
Though she was ironically safe from harm inside her bubble, there was no telling what the LAMOS would do to her when they got the chance. Freeing herself as soon as possible had to be a priority.
"G-Gotta do something to help Chris and Clover!" said Alex. That was easier said than done considering she was trying to fight off both Boogie Gus and Myrna Beesbottom with middling success. "Jeez! Would you two just be like me during biology class and disappear?!"
"Haha! This is great! It's almost like a dream!" Terrence wasn't sure whether to cheer some more or shed tears of joy. Compromising, he did both. "If only Jerry was here to see the demise of his precious spies!" He turned to Tim Scam and said, "Take care of that last brat over there, would you?"
"Heh. You got it, boss." Tim aimed his Bubble Blaster 9000 at Alex, who was too preoccupied to take notice. "Checkmate!"
Chris, careful to move without drawing any attention, retrieved the laser pen from her pocket. She activated it and steadily burned her way to freedom. Like a snake shedding its skin, she slithered out of her bubble cage, crept up on Tim Scam, and then tapped him on the shoulder.
"What is it now? I'm trying to concentrate here!" he said, under the impression it was Terrence trying to get his attention again. His expression filled with horror when he saw otherwise.
"Hi," Chris started. "Bye."
Her fist collided with his face, and along with breaking his nose and knocking a tooth out, she downed Tim Scam for the count.
"That hurt," she said, shaking her fist. "That's why I don't like dealing with hard-headed people."
"Y-You...! How did you...?!" Terrence stopped himself, getting it didn't matter how Chris escaped. "You certainly are persistent! As much as you've been a thorn in my side, I can appreciate talents such as yours! Someone like you, while young, would be a tremendous asset to to the LAMOS!"
"If you're about to ask me to join you, save it. I don't know why, but something tells me we've done this song and dance before, and I've said no then too," replied Chris. She then cracked her knuckles. "If I were you, I would be preparing myself for a world of pain, old man."
"Uh...c-can't we discuss this like civilized beings?!"
He let out a bloodcurdling scream while the sound of bones cracking and flesh being hit was heard for a short time.
"Lie there for a bit please," said Chris tiredly. She wiped her hands clean and glared back at a now battered, bloodied, and broken Terrence Lewis sprawled on the ground. "Now that he's out of my hair..."
Her next move was to aim her laser pen at Sam, specifically, the scarf literally sucking the life out of her.
"What the...?!" cried Helga von Guggen. "Y-You! How did you...?!"
"You're beginning to sound a lot like Terrence," said Chris mockingly.
Gasping for fresh oxygen, Sam managed to get out, "Thanks...C-Chris..."
"Hey! Did you guys forget about me or something?!" whined Clover. "I'm sorta claustrophobic, so get me outta this bubble!"
Chris rolled her eyes and rescued her other friend on the double.
Meanwhile, Alex was sent reeling by another of Myrna Beesbottom's attacks.
"Haha! Is that all you've got, child?" Myrna asked. "Jerry's obviously been going soft on you girls when it comes to training! That's why you needed someone like me to begin with!"
"Yeah! Can't ya keep up with our moves, little lady?" said Boogie Gus, flashing a grin.
"Mind if I step in?!" asked Clover out of the blue. "Want to know the one thing that you and disco are about to have in common, Boogie Gus?! You're both dead!"
Boogie Gus' eyes became as wide as saucers after Chris came barreling toward him from above. "Whoa! Foxy ladies are just flying through the air all of a sudden!"
She kicked him square in the jaw, and Myrna had to sidestep his sailing body.
"I thought Tim took care of you, but it's clear he's as useless as Gus and Terrence!" she declared.
"Guess you're going to have to find yourself some new partners!" retorted Clover. "Then again, that probably would've been a good idea before you joined the LAMOS!"
"You tell her, Clover!" cheered Alex.
"Insolent little brat! I'll...!" Myrna was nailed with a leg sweep courtesy of Chris before she could strike at Clover. Breaking her fall, Myrna eyed Chris with extreme malice. "And just what do you thinkyou're doing, young lady?!"
"Sorry, ma'am. Just giving you a dose of your own medicine. You and your LAMOS pals aren't the only ones who can gang up on people!"
"You thinking what I'm thinking, Chris?!" asked Clover enthusiastically.
Chris nodded. "Let's do it!"
Myrna soon ascertained what they were referring to when they both sprung upward, flipped, and came careening downward with their legs extended. Myrna managed to block the dual strike at the last second, yet the momentum still drove her backward and into Boogie Gus, who only seconds before got to his feet again.
"Yo! Not cool!" he yelled as Myrna rolled over him like a bowling ball.
"Nice one!" Clover high-fived Chris, though the latter looked less than receptive to it. "Er...by the way, I so didn't have a clue when I asked if you were thinking what I was thinking."
"Me neither. I...just did the first thing that came to mind," Chris admitted. "Guess we just naturally make a good team."
"Ugh! M-My head," voiced Terrence. Even he didn't know how he found the strength to get up after being half near pummeled to mush. He felt about the space where one of his teeth used to be with his tongue ahead of snarling. "That Chrisine! She'll pay for this!"
Helga von Guggen crashed in front of him out of the blue and looking up, he determined Sam to be the cause.
"Terrence! You sure you want to get back up?!" she asked as she rushed at him to deliver the finishing blow.
"Ha! Don't get overconfident just because you managed to defeat one of my pitiful subordinates! This battle is far from over, girls!"
"Shut up for a second, gramps!" Chris yelled. Putting the battle on hold, she cupped her hands on her ears and then added, "...Does anyone else hear that?"
Those present indeed picked up on whatever was causing the disturbance.
"That whistling..." Sam began. She then gasped. "E-Everyone get down!"
The others heeded her words and were relieved they did because the strange noise belonged to a small missile that obliterated the space they once stood.
"What in the...?!" exclaimed Terrence in response to the raging fire and billowing smoke coming from Ground Zero. "Tim, is that another one of your silly gadgets or something?!"
If it was, Tim couldn't answer because he was still out cold.
"R-Right..." Terrence continued. "You spies must've had something to do with it then!"
"Hey, don't blame us! Where would we even get a missile from anyway?!" replied Clover.
"And I'm pretty sure we would've used something like that off the bat if we could," said Chris. "Not to mention it would be extremely idiotic to aim it at ourselves!"
"Gah! I'm confused! If we didn't do it, and the LAMOS didn't do it, who did?!" Alex inquired, feeling her brain getting crossed up like pretzel.
"Something tells me we're about to find out!" said Sam.
A red-haired lady dressed in a frilly, pink dressed laughed at their confusion in the background. The bottom of her dress, acting like a helicopter's blade, kept her afloat in midair.
"Nice dress," said Chris, whistling. "Doubt you could buy that at the mall."
"Thanks! Anyway, it's been far too long, girls!" the woman bellowed. "I certainly hope you remember me!"
"Unfortunately," groaned Sam.
"I've already had it up to here with all these baddies showing up!" declared a steaming mad Clover. "This is almost as bad as that time we got stuck on WOOHP Island! Or that stupid blimp..."
"How are they finding us so easily?!" said Alex.
Sam mulled the perfectly good question over ahead of snapping her fingers. She snatched her X-Powder out of her pocket and flipped it open, coming to an astonishing conclusion.
"That's how they're tracking us! They're using the signal from our X-Powders! Of course! Scar could easily tell everyone where we are because he has access to the computers at WOOHP! Alex! Clover! Get rid of your X-Powders! Hurry!"
Alex nodded and did so post-haste, but Clover hesitated.
"Do we have to? I've got a lot of cute boy's phone numbers in here!" she said. She relented when Sam tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. "Alright, fine! It's not like I enjoy getting stalked by all these bad guys either!"
Chris observed Clover shatter her beloved X-Powder against the sand, which in turn made her pull out her Z-Powder.
"I don't know if this is the same or not, but I'd better get rid of it too just in case."
The red-head in the distance spotted Chris and said, "Hmm? Wait, there's one more of you than before!"
"Don't mind me. I'm just...actually, I'm still not sure why I'm here," Chris replied.
"Well, since this is our first encounter, I may as well introduce myself! My name is Wera Vann, the world's greatest wedding dress designer! I..."
"Look, lady. That's nice and all, but I didn't ask for your backstory. I'll just assume you're here to kill us like the rest and go from there."
Wera's skin flushed the same color as her hair. "W-Why you! You're certainly a rude one!"
"You'd be grumpy too if you hadn't slept at all since the day before and been attacked by some old DJ, a group of idiots, and some ninny in a flying dress."
Wera responded, "F-Fair enough! Nevertheless, I'm here to destroy those girls behind you, so I might as well add you to the list! If you seriously don't know who I am, I'll just have to show you!"
The metallic, flower-shaped ornaments adorning the front of Wera's dress were for more than style. They also happened to be missile launchers, ones she put to good use by unleashing them upon Chris and the others. They scattered and avoided the first missile, but the second caught Chris by surprise and sent her flying. Thankfully, Sam, Clover, and Alex managed to catch her.
"T-Thanks," she told them. "What is up with that dress though?"
"Basically, she's weaponized it. Don't relax yet. I doubt those missiles are the only thing she's packing," explained Sam.
"A...weaponized dress?" Chris was honestly lost for words. "...Alrighty then."
"I say we totally make a run for it!" said Clover. "No way we can take on that dress without any gadgets!"
"Yeah, but how? She'll blow us to bits before then!" Alex reminded her.
Overhearing them, Wera asked, "Leaving so soon, ladies? The fun has just begun!"
Grabbing a whip made of cloth off her high-powered dress, Wera cackled madly and lashed it at her enemies over and over.
"Hey! Watch it! That stings!" said Clover, grimacing.
"Any more bright ideas, Sam?!" asked Chris.
"You know, I'm not the only one with a brain around here! You three think of something for once!" replied Sam as she covered her beautiful face with her arms.
"Jeez. Someone's testy."
Once Chris decided she had enough red welts on her skin, she reached out and grabbed the weapon prior to attempting to reel Wera in.
"H-Hey! Hands off, sweetheart!" Wera yelled, tugging the other way.
"Not a chance! Now come here!" Chris replied as she tightened her grip. Sam, Clover, and Alex took hold of the whip themselves to give her a hand. Their combined weight was enough to drag Wera out of the sky and close enough for them to finish things.
"No, no, no, no!" Wera cried. Unable to stop herself, she merely watched as four, separate fists hit her in the mouth. "H-How...?!"
"Have a nice trip!" exclaimed Sam while Wera blasted off like a rocket ship.
"See you...how about never?!" added Clover.
"That sounds heavenly," said Chris. "And the same goes for everyone else we've had to fend off."
"Man, I'mtired!" Alex sat down and brushed some sweat off her forehead. "Can we ask Jerry for a vacation after this? We've totally done about a month's worth of missions today!"
Chris took a spot next to her, just as beat. "You three mean to tell me you do stuff like this all the time?"
"You do too, Chris," said Sam.
Chris frowned at the comment. Continuously being told she was a spy didn't get less bizarre with exposure.
"Um...d-did they forget about me or something?" asked Terrence. "Hello! Girls!"
Chris and the others became alert at his presence though relaxed once they saw who it was now waving their arms at them frantically.
"I figured you would've taken a hike already," said Chris. "Unless you want us to knock you around some more, scram!"
"Ha! I thought I already informed you girls that I'm not going anywhere until I have my revenge!"
"Your revenge?! What about mine?!" said someone adjacent to Terrence. It was Sebastian Saga. With Sam's footprint still etched on his face, he directed a finger trembling with animosity toward Terrence. "I don't know who you are, butI was here first! If anyone's going to destroy these meddlesome spies, it's going to beme!"
"It seems we have a problem then!" replied Terrence. "The LAMOS have some unsettled business with these girls! Whatever they've done to you can't possibly compare to the injustices they've dealt us!"
"That's right!" declared Helga von Guggen. Her left eye was black, matching the color of the dress she wore. "Beat it, pal, unless you want us to take care ofyou first!"
"Check it! The LAMOS are the only ones groovy enough to take down these spies, ya dig?!" said Boogie Gus, dancing over to his comrades. He stopped in his tracks when he got a close enough look at Sebastian, causing him to lower his sunglasses. "Yo, what's with those threads, man?!"
"M-My clothes?! You're one to talk, buster! You do realize disco has been dead since...forever, right?!" Sebastian snapped back.
"W-What?! Totally not true, man! Why does everyone keep saying that?! Disco isn't dead! It's just...taking a break!"
"Are you still going on about that? My goodness." Myrna, clutching her arm, hobbled past Sebastian and over to her fellow LAMOS members. "I've had quite enough of this, Terrence! I don't know who this man over here is, but let's just get rid of him already so we can accomplish what we came here to do!"
Terrence nodded. "I've got no arguments with that!"
"What aboutmy revenge, huh?!" shouted Wera Vaan, who flew back into sight. She was forced to use her sleeve to hide her blood-drenched nose. "Look what those girls did to my beautiful face! It's obviousI deserve the first shot at them! You people are just going to have to settle for what's left!"
"Now wait just a minute!" Sebastian countered. "Whatever happened to 'first come, first serve?!'"
Wera replied, "I think 'ladies first' is more appropriate here!"
"Forget all that! There's more of us than of you two! Strength in numbers!" Terrence declared.
"What does that have to do with anything?!" Sebastian asked.
The three parties kept on debating the matter, leaving Sam, Alex, Clover, and Chris to stare at them absently.
"Boy, you three certainly are...popular," said Chris.
"Yeah, but this is one popularity contest I don't mind not being apart of!" replied Clover.
"Hey, this is our chance to get the heck out of here!" Alex motioned toward Sebastian Saga's silver van in the background. "We can use that to escape!"
"Great idea, Alex! Come on!" whispered Sam.
The four nodded and executed their plan by carefully tiptoeing their way to the vehicle. As Sebastian placed Terrence in a headlock, they made a break for it and piled inside, with Alex taking the driver's seat.
"Sweet! The keys are still in the ignition! I'll drive then!"
"NO!" the other three shouted in harmony.
Sam then hastily added, "I-I mean, t-that's okay, Alex! W-Why don't you let one of us take the wheel this time around? I mean, you've gotta be tired after having to drive before!"
"B-Besides, you wouldn't wanna ruin your mani driving so much!" stated Clover timidly.
"...Er...w-what they said," mumbled Chris.
Alex got the feeling her presence wasn't desired in front of the weird. Pouting her lips and crossing her arms, she moved to one of the seats in the back.
"I'll drive," said Sam, taking Alex's place. "Gah! I-It's a stick shift?! Who still drives these things?!"
"Not trying to be funny here, but I suggest you step on the gas, Sam. Even if those guys we just fought are complete idiots, it won't take long for them to realize what we're up to," warned Chris.
"Ugh! What's with the tacky seating?!" asked a gagging Clover. The seats of Sebastian Saga's van were lined a leopard pattern, and having to sit on the décor made her nauseous. "I guess music isn't the only thing that guy has bad tastes in! I'm just gonna hold my head down the whole trip so no one sees me in this thing..."
Sam turned the keys and started the van's engine. The loud disturbance caught the attention of the villains they were trying so desperately to escape from, making them groan.
"H-Hey! Where do you four think you're going?!" Terrence barked.
"T-That'smy van! G-Get out of there, you brats! I still have a few payments to go on it!" said Sebastian Saga. He dashed over and began pounding on the driver's side window, which induced a shrill scream out of Sam.
"Pretty smart, but I'm not letting you girls off the hook so easily!" said Wera. She fired another volley of missiles at the silver van, hoping to reduce it to scrap.
Sebastian ducked for cover, whereas Sam wasted little time in slamming her foot on one of the pedals. The van reversed in time to dodge the explosives before making a U-turn and zooming off into the distance. Sebastian tried going after them on foot, but a wall of fire created by Wera's missiles ended any chance for a pursuit.
"Y-You've got to be kidding me!" he grumbled. "T-That was my only ride out of this place! What in the world am I supposed to do now?!"
Terrence, just as peeved, took his aggression out on the dirt and sand below, stomping a mudhole into it. He then pointed up at Wera. "Thanks to you and your idiotic dress, they got away!"
"Excuse me?!" Wera clenched her teeth so hard, she was in danger of breaking them. "Let's see how incompetent it is when I turn it onyou!"
"Bring it on!"
"D-Don't get so flustered, Terrence! Remember your high blood pressure!" Helga cautioned.
"Y-Yes, I suppose you have a point. Wait a minute...NO YOU DON'T! If I want to get angry, I'm going to get angry! This is unacceptable! We are theLAMOS! We're not supposed to be embarrassed on an everyday basis like this!"
"Well, with a name like that, what else would you expect?" said Wera dryly.
"For the last time, I'mnot changing the name!"
Grabbing at his aching skull, Tim Scam came to and searched his surroundings in confusion. He then stared up at Wera and gave her a thumbs up.
"Hey, nice dress!"
"Thank you! It's about timesomeone around here appreciated my work!"
#
Sebastian Saga's silver van, now in the ownership of Sam, Clover, Alex, and Chris, made its way down the crowded and always active streets of Beverly Hills. The sight of familiar establishments and terrain relieved the three WOOHP spies greatly. Despite it being a mere number of days since they were last home, it felt like an eternity. The sidewalks, teeming with the faces of otherwise happy people, would soon be replaced with dread unless something was done to stop Scar and his sinister machinations.
"How long until we get to WOOHP?" Sitting in the passenger's seat, Chris rested her head in the palm of her hand and stared out the window with a bored look. "It feels like we been driving around this city for hours."
"It's in Los Angeles, but don't worry. You'll know when we get there. No way you could miss the building," replied Sam. Her head swiveled to the back seats of the van where Clover and Alex were fast asleep. Their gentle snoring put a smile on her lips. "I don't blame them for passing out like that. We honestly haven't gotten much rest since we've been on the run."
Chris yawned. "Yeah, I...know the feeling."
"The good thing is that they'll be plenty of time for all of us to get a good night's rest after we finish this."
Out of the corner of her vision, Chris made note of the black bags under Sam's eyes. "...You know, there's nothing wrong with you getting a bit of rest as well."
"I'm fine."
As soon as she finished speaking, the van ventured slightly out of its lane, nearly colliding with another car. Yelping, Sam hurriedly corrected the vehicle's course.
"The hell you are!" roared Chris. It like if her heart was going to burst out of her chest. "Come on. Let me drive from here on out. You said I can't miss WOOHP once I see it, right? Therefore, you don't even need to be awake. You'll be of no use to anyone if you pass out during the fighting, so use this time to regain your strength. Besides, out of all of us, I've had the most sleep. It'll be fine."
Sam sighed, not wishing to give in. Nonetheless, she answered, "Alright. You win, Chris. You know, you aren't as mean as you'd want everyone to believe!"
Chris rolled her eyes at the comment as Sam pulled the van over. The two got out of the car, and Sam handed Chris the keys.
"Thanks again," she said wearily, ready to pass out on the spot.
"Don't mention it. Just promise me youwill sleep."
"I-I promise! Y-You don't need to glare at me like that!"
Chris fixed her face, not meaning to glower in the first place. Once Sam took her spot in the passenger's side, Chris found her focus on the building in front of her. Construction workers were taking down large, neon letters off the structure. Something was amiss about the whole scene to her.
"Have I...seen this place before?"
"What's the matter, Chris?" Sam got back out of the van and stumbled upon the reason for her friend's gazing. "Ah. I guess you don't remember, but that's the perfume shop that wacko Kyla Sacks was operating. I think it was called Sacks of Scents."
"Kyla...Sacks? Who is that? Do I know her?"
"You...did. What I mean to say is you will once you remember everything."
Chris repeated the name 'Kyla Sacks' to herself over and over again until the image of the smug, ex-model popped into her head. An intense pain galloped through her cranium afterward.
"A-Agh!"
"H-Hey, are you okay, Chris?!" asked Sam, rushing to her friend's side.
"Y-Yeah. S-Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. It's...nothing. Come on, let's go. We'll need to move with some urgency if we want to save this Jerry of yours."
Without another word, Chris got inside the van and started the engine. Sam, still concerned, closed the door behind her as she retook her seat. Soon enough, the van was once again headed for its destination.
"...By the way, Sam," Chris began.
"Y-Yeah? What is it?" Sam had almost fallen asleep when Chris called upon her.
"...I don't know how to drive a manual transmission..."
For a second time, the van strayed dangerously off the road.
"W-Why didn't you say that before I gave you the keys?!" cried Sam, jerking the steering wheel with force.
"W-Who lets an amnesiac drive in the first place?!" Chris retorted, pulling just as hard.
"You can't use that as an excuse for everything!"
"Oh yeah?! Well, it's all I have at the moment! That and a freaking pen that shoots lasers!"
With things growing more hectic by the moment, the two genuinely questioned if they would even make it to WOOHP in one piece.
END
