Chapter 11
I've Been Waiting My Whole Life
"So what's on the agenda today?" Jack asks me.
I run my hands through my hair. "I was thinking . . . about a picnic."
"A picnic?" Ash asks.
"A picnic!" Asta says, clapping her hands together.
"You see," I say, "I haven't ever really been out of the castle that much, and I thought a picnic would be nice and secluded. We can go behind the castle — there's a nice hill that's really beautiful in the fall. All the trees turn red and orange and gold and blanket the whole ground. At least" — I bite my lip — "that's how it used to be. I haven't exactly been there in about eleven years."
Jack whistles. "So we're maybe going to this beautiful place that used to be beautiful eleven years ago?"
I nod. "It will be fun anyway," I say, "and even if the place has been . . . disturbed, we can always have the picnic inside."
"It's not a picnic if it's inside," Ash says.
I shoot him a glare and he glares back at me. The two of us have taken to doing such things when we're around each other, and Asta and Jack have learned to ignore it.
The four of us have been hanging around each other quite a bit, actually. I never knew what it was like to have friends, but now that I do . . . it's amazing. I can't imagine not having friends now.
Sure, Jack is a bit more than a friend and Ash is a little less than a friend, but still. The feeling I have enveloping me is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. Foreign and new, but oh-so-good.
"We need to get some food from the kitchen, of course," I say. "And some clothes we can get dirty. It just rained, so the ground might be a little wet. . . ."
"This probably isn't the best time to go out for a picnic then," Ash says.
I cluck my tongue. "Think positive, Ash. This will be fun."
I used to be a pessimist, but ever since I've gotten my new friends, I've been thinking a lot more positive. It's funny what a few people can do in your life. They can hate you, love you, feel sorry for you, feel happy for you, comfort you, mock you, laugh at you, or laugh with you.
We plan to have our little picnic later in the day around lunchtime. Asta is assigned to get some food from the kitchen, while I get the boys and her some new clothes. While all of their clothes can get dirty, none of them are quite right for a picnic. None of them are fun, play clothes. I doubt they've had many of those.
I don't know much about the Frosts, but I know they're orphans, their parents having died eight years ago. I know that even though they're working for royalty, they still have a hard time with money. I know that Ash is the oldest, then Jack, then Asta. I know that Ash doesn't talk much, Jack too much, and Asta in the middle.
Today, I hope to change my minimal amount of knowledge about them, and get something out of them. Not their secrets; I wouldn't dare try to fish those out of them. But facts. Favorite color. Favorite hobby. Things like that. Surely that can't harm anything?
Really, how much can your favorite color say about you?
A lot, a voice says in my head. I push it away.
After getting everything ready, we head out of the castle. I breathe in the fresh air. I haven't been outside in a long time. Not since the ball, in fact. And certainly not since I was almost assassinated. Father and Mother have just started to let me out of their sight.
It feels so, so good to be outside again. To be surrounded by all the smells and sights and noises and feelings.
We hike up a long hill until we reach the place I was talking about. True to my word, it's gorgeous.
The autumn leaves gently float to the ground, covering it in a carpet of perfect leaves. The sun is high in the air, highlighting the area with its rays, and a single tree provides shade and protection from it.
"Wow!" Asta says. "This is perfect!" She starts to cough.
"Asta!" Jack and Ash immediately step forward, as their sister goes pale.
I put down my basket of food, and rush to her side.
"Asta," I say, "what's wrong?"
"N-nothing," she coughs out. "Just a cold. Probably."
I hope it is only that. It is that time of year to have sickness. That must be what Asta has.
After Asta's coughing bout is over, we set up our little picnic, laying a blanket onto the ground, and preparing the food. Actually, Asta and I do most of that while the boys lazily point out clouds to themselves, trying to guess what they best represent. I wonder if this is some weird hobby of Inmeracians.
"Come eat," I call to the two boys once Asta and I are finished.
The array of food we have are sandwiches and fruit and fresh bread. It's simple food, but perfect picnic food. And Father and Mother have had them all tested to make sure they weren't poisoned. They're doing that with all of the royal family's food. I feel bad for the poor servant who has to taste the food and drinks.
After we've eaten our fill, we lie across the ground and stare up at the clouds flitting across the sky.
For several minutes, we're just silent, enjoying the cool weather, probably the last nice day we'll get before winter.
Finally, I break the silence with, "What do you dream about?"
"What do you mean?" Jack asks, turning onto his side to face me.
"What do you hope to accomplish in life?" I ask. "What do you hope people know about you? Just . . . what are your dreams?"
We're silent again.
Then Asta speaks up, "I wish I was popular," she says. "Well, not like famous or anything, not like a princess like you, Elsa. Just . . . I wish people knew about me and liked me and confided in me like a friend. I guess . . . I want to be trusted."
Asta, who is the most trustworthy person I've ever met, wants to be trusted. I wonder why. What in her life has made her dream that?
Jack speaks up with, "I hope people know me because of the things I've done. I want them to admire me, look up to me. To think, 'Wow, he's really unique and cool, I want to be like him someday.'"
I can see that in Jack. If anything, he craves attention. But he doesn't usually get it, it seems, from what I'd overheard of his conversation with Ash.
"I think . . . ," I say, "I want to be loved. More than anything in my life."
"Don't we all want that?" Asta says.
"Yeah, maybe," I say.
Jack looks me in the eye. "You are loved, Elsa," he says.
I don't know if he means by my family or him or both.
I brush his comment away and try not to think about it.
"What about you, Ash?" Asta asks her brother who has been quiet up until now.
"I don't know," he says. "I guess I just want to be able to relax and not worry and not be worn down by all the things I have to do and be careful of. I just want to be . . . me."
He stops abruptly, and turns his face away from us. I suspect this is the most he's said about himself in a long time. What prompted him to speak so openly?
I am glad he did, though. It makes him more relatable in a way. To know that he's human, too. Just like the rest of us.
A sickening thought occurs to me. What if I'm not human? I've never met anyone with powers like mine, or anyone with powers for that matter. What if something in me isn't right? Makes me alien?
Don't think of those things. Think positive.
I stare around at my friends, and I feel like even though we haven't talked a bunch, I know them on a more personal level now.
Just asking someone their dreams can do that.
I want to ask them about their pasts. How their parents died. How Ash got put in charge. Why they came to Arendelle.
But I don't.
If I did that, they would ask about me. Why I'm so secluded, about my fake disease, and maybe, just maybe, they could get close enough to me that I'd reveal my greatest secret to them.
Because right now, I have the insane urge to tell them everything about me. Everything that makes me who I am.
Everything that I am is about to spill from my mouth.
Author's Note: And here's Chapter 11! So, what do you think? Still going strong? I hope so. Thanks for reading, once again, and you all are awesome!
- J. Dom
