Can't Fight These Feelings
A/N: My sincere thanks to everyone who reviewed and commented on the last chapter. It was a tough one to write so I'm really grateful for the feedback. Here's the next one.
Chapter 12 – A Mother Always Knows
~Late September, 2011~
Just when Nick didn't think the situation could deteriorate anymore he heard two horrible sounds in quick succession that sent him spiraling over the edge. First, was the scrapping and creaking of something large and heavy being dragged into place in front of the closet door, trapping him even more completely in his lightless, cedar prison. Second, and most devastating: the muffled sound of Jeff screaming.
Nick lost control of himself as the sound of Jeff's agonized cries ripped him apart inside. He was crying hysterically now, his chest painfully constricted and his stomach feeling as though it were trying to dissolve itself from the inside out. The sound of Jeff wailing in distress only made things much worse; Nick's ears seemed to physically hurt in response. He was frantic to do something, anything to help Jeff.
He sprang back up and hurled himself forward, once again tripping over something in the darkness, but this time allowing the momentum to propel him harder as he thudded against the thick wooden door. He instantly began a frenzied, enraged barrage on the cedar barrier blocking him from reaching his boyfriend.
"JEFF! JEFF!" Nick shouted, banging his fists against the door. "LEAVE HIM ALONE! JEFF!"
Nick continued yelling and raining pounding fists against the door until it became impossible to ignore the throbbing ache radiating up and down both arms. Then he became aware that he could no longer hear Jeff's terrified pleas. That realization made Nick's chest hurt even more and made him feel even farther disconnected from Jeff. He drew in a sharp breath and held it, listening as carefully as he could. Nothing. He couldn't hear Jeff at all now.
"JEFF! JEFF!" Nick yelled, hitting the door hard one more time and kicking it too for good measure.
"CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" Nick shouted at the top of his lungs. Not only didn't Jeff yell back in response, but the whole house was now eerily silent. There was nothing, not a sound except Nick's own unsteady breathing. As painful and horrible as it had been hearing Jeff's screams, at least it had been something. At least it had let Nick know that Jeff was conscious and alert.
Nick whimpered again and closed his eyes. When he reopened them he was confronted with the fact that there was no discernible difference: He was in total darkness. There wasn't even a sliver of light leaking in from around the door.
Nick let out a shaky breath and felt more tears roll down his face. There had to be something he could do, some weakness in this accursed coniferous cage that he could exploit. He slid his hands back and forth across the rough wooden door.
"FUCK!" He exclaimed, grimacing as a splitter lodged itself under the fingernail of his left index finger. He gritted his teeth and let out a strangled sob as the pain briefly lit up and blazed hard, distracting him from every other hurt in his body. A few moments later, however, and it had settled into a harsh, angry throb, becoming just another unpleasant soreness in the myriad he was already enduring.
He raised the wounded digit to his mouth, a sick feeling coursing through his system as he perceived the sensation of a small wooden shard poking out beneath his nail. He hissed through his teeth and then bit the end of the foreign object, pulling it loose and spitting the offending scrap away. He had no idea if everything had come out or if he still had a tiny splinter embedded under his fingernail. Regardless, it seemed like the least of his worries right now.
Nick slowly pressed his hands forward again, this time mindful not to rub the rough surface too hard or too quickly. Eventually he located what he was looking for: the doorknob. If the door had a weak point this had to be it. First Nick tried to visualize where in the darkness it was in relation to his own body. Then he took a slow, careful step back, trying to line himself up just right. He kicked out at his target as hard as he could.
"Unnghh!" Nick yelled as the impact threw him off balance and he took a clumsy, faltering step backward, once again slipping on unseen items. He crashed down on his backside, landing hard on several long, cylindrical objects and feeling them crunch under his weight. At least they hadn't been sharp or dangerous. He groped around, his hands clawing across the hollow tubes. They were smooth, glossy. He felt a loose flap along the edge of one and recognized the texture of paper. They were rolls of Christmas wrapping.
Nick huffed in irritation and arched his hips enough to shove them away, annoyed that they weren't even useful to his plight. At least now he could rest in a fully-seated position and stretch out his still-throbbing leg. His ill-fated door kick hadn't been as well-aimed as he'd hoped and his foot had struck the doorknob at the wrong angle, glancing off of it rather than striking it directly. The impact and subsequent fall hadn't hurt as much as he knew that they could have, but either way he wasn't up to trying again.
Nick drew in another deep breath, the cloying fragrance of cedar invading his throat and nostrils. It might have been the crying or the yelling that had hurt Nick's throat, but he chose to blame the sickening, oppressive piney odor instead.
It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. Then a terrifying thought gripped Nick: What if the reason it was so difficult to breathe was that there was very little air left? What if he was suffocating to death?
Nick began taking small, shallow breaths, and did his best to resist the overwhelming urge he had to panic. He knew that if he was in a tiny, air-tight room that hyperventilating would have been about the worst thing he could have done. He kept his mouth clenched shut, holding in his sobs and forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose.
Nick curled up on his side on the floor of the closet, his face pressing against outdated shag carpeting as he accepted his reality: He was utterly helpless, trapped in a tiny, dark, silent prison and at the whim of people whom he considered little more than monsters by this point. He had no idea what was happening to Jeff. He had no way of helping him. He wasn't even sure if he would ever see him again. Silent tears rolled down Nick's cheeks, gradually saturating the fabric against his face.
-000-
~Two Hours Later~
Nick snapped out of his mental daze as slivers of light abruptly flashed into existence around the frame of the door. Someone had turned a light on in the hallway. A small flicker of hope sparked in Nick's chest and he sat up, listening intently.
There were still no voices, but he heard scuffling on the other side of the door and shadows danced in the thin beam of light spilling from underneath. Someone was dragging aside the makeshift barricade!
Suddenly fear replaced Nick's fledgling sense of hope. Yes, it looked like he was about to be let out, but what awaited him on the other side of that door?
Nick frantically groped around on the floor of the closet, looking for something, anything he could use to defend himself. The bent tubes of wrapping paper that were closest to him seemed like a poor choice. Then his fingers brushed against something sturdy and box-shaped. He could throw it, but that didn't seem like a great idea either.
The obstruction had now been removed, and he heard the sound of someone fiddling with the lock. He realized that he was out of time just as his hand brushed over something that he quickly deduced was a string of Christmas lights. He scooped up the twiny decorations and wrapped them around each of his hands, pulling them taut as he crouched down and prepared himself.
"Nick! Are you–"
The voice was cut off as Nick sprang into action, launching his attack with every ounce of force he had remaining. As Nick collided with his new adversary, the other person stumbled backward, banging against the opposite wall of the hallway. Nick instinctually pressed the cord of lights against the person's throat, growling and blinking rapidly as his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden flood of light.
As soon as Nick stopped seeing spots and actually got a look at the person he was grappling with, he gasped and froze. Then he immediately pulled his hands away and tossed the string of lights aside.
"Dad!" Nick wrapped his arms around the man and squeezed him just as ferociously as he had been fighting only a moment earlier. Relief and a feeling of security washed over him and he found himself coming undone again. He buried his face in his dad's chest and began sobbing incoherently.
"It's okay, buddy, I gotcha. You're safe now," Ian said in low, soothing tones as he held Nick close. It was the same voice Ian had always used with him whenever he had been upset as a kid, and Nick found himself slowly calming down in response.
"Wha-what are you doing here?" Nick ask sniffling softly. He was gradually starting to regain his composure, but was still unwilling to relinquish his death grip on his dad's torso.
"Jeff's mom called me. They had my number from the time you went on vacation with them." Ian answered, giving Nick a little squeeze and then raising one hand to cradle the back of his head. However, when he did, Nick groaned and winced as his dad inadvertently put pressure on the spot where Connie Sterling's pan had struck him earlier in the evening.
Ian picked up on Nick's reaction and gently moved his hands to Nick's shoulder so that he could tilt him back enough to look at him. In the process Nick's dad unfortunately squeezed his second major sore spot: the shoulder where Connie's other hard hit had landed. Nick grimaced again and Ian quickly released him altogether, regarding him with a worried, rapidly darkening expression.
"What the hell did they do to you?" Ian demanded, his voice still low, but now void of any trace of comfort. Instead Nick was almost alarmed at how angry his dad seemed.
"They hit me," Nick said simply, moving in for another hug. His dad returned the embrace, but this time it was much more tentative, careful.
"We need to get you to the car," Ian said stiffly a few moments later, his voice still tight with barely-contained rage. He let go of Nick and grabbed his hand, already pulling him back down the hallway.
"NO!" Nick shouted, startling his dad and pulling his hand away. "We can't leave without Jeff."
"Nick, we have to–"
"NO!" Nick yelled again, crossing his arms and glaring. "I'm not going anywhere without him."
"I know! I know!" Ian answered, raising his hands in surrender. "That's not what I was going to say. Of course we're not leaving without Jeff, but you need to go wait in the car with Cathy."
"But Dad–"
"Nick, I promise I will not set foot outside of this house without him." Ian looked Nick in the eye as he made his vow.
Nick furrowed his brow and considered his dad's words for a few seconds before vehemently shaking his head. "No, I'm staying with you. We'll get him together."
"Nick, this isn't open for discussion," Ian answered in his most authoritative voice. "I need to know that you're safe so that I can focus on Jeff."
"I-I can't," Nick answered, trembling and starting to cry again as his emotions once again overwhelmed. He had never flat out refused to listen to his dad before, but this was different.
"I can't, Dad, please. They...they ripped me away from him. I-I heard him..." Nick let out a sob and covered his face with his hand. "I heard him screaming, and I c-couldn't get to him. I can't leave him. I can't."
A moment later his dad's arms were around him again, drawing him back in against his chest and kissing the top of his head. "Okay, buddy," he said quietly, his own voice quivering with emotion. "Let's go get him."
Nick took a long, deep breath and choked back his tears. He couldn't afford them right now; he had to find Jeff. After a few seconds he pulled away and nodded at his dad, signaling that he was ready.
They walked back up the hallway, toward Connie and Frank's bedroom. It seemed like as good a place as any to start. Nick tried the door and found that it was unlocked. He was about to enter the room when his dad put a hand on his shoulder and held him back, silently insisting that he go in first. Nick stepped aside and let him.
"Where's Jeff?" Ian demanded as soon as he walked into the room. Nick hurried in behind him, quickly casting his eyes around the large bedroom, vigilant for any potential threats.
Frank Sterling was sitting up on his bed, scowling at them over the top of a magazine. "Get out."
"Where's Jeff?" Ian demanded again, his voice even sharper and more threatening than before as he advanced toward the man. Nick moved to position himself on the other side of the bed, just in case the old man had any thoughts of leaving.
Just then a door on the opposite side of the room opened, briefly revealing the tiled floor of a bathroom. Mark Sterling stepped out, resealing the room behind him.
"You must be the faggot's father," Mark commented, crossing his arms and smirking at Nick's dad.
Nick watched as his dad shot across the room and shoved the heavier man backward against the door.
"You goddamn asshole!" Ian snarled. Before Mark had a chance to react Ian reared back and punched him square in the nose. Mark fumbled, clutching his face and tripping over his own feet as he slumped to the floor.
"Hold it," Nick ordered, glaring at Frank Sterling and raising his own fist menacingly as the man moved to get out of bed.
"N-Nick?" came Jeff's feeble voice from inside the bathroom, making Nick's heart skip a beat.
Nick sucked in an excited breath and whirled away from the old man, desperate to get to Jeff. By the time Nick had reached the bathroom door, Ian had pulled Mark Sterling away from it. They were arguing in heated tones, the portly man holding his bleeding nose as blood seeped through his fingers and dripped down onto his ample belly. Nick didn't bother trying to overhear their conversation. All that mattered was checking on Jeff.
Nick gasped as he entered the room. "Oh my god!"
"Nick, are you okay?" Jeff asked from his position in the bathtub.
Nick blinked, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. It seemed almost surreal that Jeff was asking him if he was okay. Jeff's hands were tied to the tub faucet with some type of fabric. Equally disturbing was Jeff's actual appearance. His head had been sloppily shaved. He was nearly bald with only a few random tufts of blond remaining. A thin line of dried blood was caked to the side of his head, leading down to a dried patch over his ear. His left eye was black and swollen shut. Scattered bloodstains dotted the front of his white t-shirt.
"Jeffy! Oh my god, Jeffy." Nick ran into the room and threw his arms around his boyfriend, squeezing him as close as he could given the odd positioning.
"It's okay, Nicky. I'm okay...Uh, could you untie me please?" Jeff pulled at his bound hands, redirecting Nick's attention. Nick realized that the fabric of Jeff's restraints consisted of an old, long sleeve button-down shirt. The sleeves had been twisted into cords, looped over the faucet, and knotted around Jeff's wrists.
Nick placed a quick kiss against the bare skin over the shell of Jeff's ear, relieved that the blood didn't seem to have emanated from it. He wanted to examine Jeff more closely, but instead set to work freeing him as requested.
"I was struggling. They nicked my head a few time while they were shaving it," Jeff explained, as if reading Nick's mind, while Nick continued working to release him.
"Why did they do that though?" Nick asked, surprising himself with how emotional he sounded. He had thought he was being strong for Jeff, but a lot of his panic and distress was obviously still seeping out.
Jeff shrugged. "My grandpa just kept raving about how I had faggot hair. I think it was some kind of punishment."
Nick couldn't help but look around in response, noticing for the first time that Jeff's beautiful hair was scattered all over the bathroom, mostly in the bathtub next to Jeff, but also all around the area near the tub where Nick was kneeling, and even sporadically strewn across the floor as far as the bathroom sink.
Just then Nick succeeded in loosening Jeff's hands enough so that he could pull himself free from the tub faucet. Jeff immediately wrapped his arms around Nick and pulled him in for a tight hug. Nick didn't even mind the pain it caused in his shoulder when he did so. Then Jeff pressed a quick, urgent kiss to his mouth.
"Are you okay, Nick?" Jeff asked, pulling back enough to peer at Nick with his one uninjured eye. Nick felt another wave of anger and sadness as he looked at his boyfriend's bruised face.
Nick reminded himself to be strong for Jeff. He nodded and helped Jeff climb out of the tub. "I'm fine."
"Did I hear your dad a little while ago?" Jeff asked, a hopeful look on his face.
Nick nodded. "Yeah, he's–"
They were interrupted by the sound of a loud thud and Frank Sterling swearing. Nick and Jeff rushed back into the bedroom just as John also entered from the hallway. Frank was lying on the bedroom floor squirming, cursing, and waving his fist. Nick couldn't help but snicker; the scene called to mind images of a bug that gotten flipped over onto its back. John on the other hand obviously wasn't amused. He hurried over to the Sterling patriarch and began helping him up.
"He hit your father and he pushed me down," Frank told his grandson, pointing an accusatory finger at Ian.
"You tripped on your own feet, old man," Ian countered, glaring at the pair. Suddenly he noticed that Nick had returned with Jeff and his eyes widened in alarm. "Jeff, are you okay?"
"He sure as hell isn't!" Mark snapped, scowling at his elder son from over Ian's shoulder. "He's a little pus–"
Mark didn't get the chance to finish as Ian whirled back around and hit him in the face again, this time punching the hand he was still using to grip his bleeding nose. Jeff's father yowled in pain.
"You're going to jail, you evil son of a bitch," Ian growled. Out of the corner of his eye Nick saw John clench his fist and turn toward his dad; however, before he could move, Frank grabbed the boy's arm and shook his head.
"Oh no I'm not," Mark retorted, his voice somewhat muffled and nasally, but no less hateful. "Not if you want to take my queer-ass son away with you,"
"You just said you didn't want him," Ian snarled back, before flinching at his own words and then throwing an apologetic look Jeff's way. "But we do. We love him and he's coming with us."
"You can take the shit-wipe," John interjected. "Fags like him don't belong in this family. I hope I never see his disgusting face again."
"Same here you stupid, drooling knuckle-dragger!" Jeff shouted at his brother. Nick wound a protective arm around his boyfriend, worried that John might physically retaliate. Instead he seemed taken aback that Jeff was defending himself.
"Oh, I definitely don't want him," Mark continued with a cold laugh. "But you better believe if you try to press charges I will fight you, and who do think the police are going to believe: his parents, grandparents, and brother, or some random guy and his kid?"
"The evidence is all over them." Ian waved his hand angrily in Nick and Jeff's direction. Nick wondered for a moment if his dad was going to strike Mark Sterling a third time, but he didn't.
"Actually, they did that to each other," Frank cut in, smiling darkly. "We had to pull them apart. Then we called you to come and get that little hooligan and you assaulted my son."
"Exactly," Mark agreed nodding and pulling his hand away from his nose. Almost immediately it began bleeding again. He sighed and re-squeezed it.
"That's ridiculous and any competent investigation will prove it," Ian answered. To Nick's dismay his dad didn't look as confident as he sounded.
"Doesn't matter. The little fudge-packer will end up in CPS until it's resolved." Mark curled one lip up in disgust and gave Jeff another disdainful look. "And we will win."
Jeff groaned and frowned. Then he crossed the room and placed a tentative hand on Ian's arm, his face cloudy and distressed.
"Please, Mr. Duval," Jeff begged. "Please don't leave me here with them, or let foster care take me."
"Of course I won't, Jeff," Ian answered solemnly before pulling Jeff in for a tight hug. "You're coming home with us. I promise."
"Oh no he's not. Not if you call the police," Mark threatened again. "In fact, John here was telling me that Jeff had confided in him that you molested him the last time he was at your house. They certainly wouldn't let you take him."
"Yep, that's what Jeff told me," John said, grinning.
"That's outrageous!" Ian exclaimed.
"My dad would never do that!" Nick shouted, pushing past Ian and Jeff and getting in Mark's face. He shoved him. "No way could you try to prove that. They'd believe Jeff anyway."
Ian reached out with one hand and grabbed Nick's uninjured shoulder, gently but firmly pulling him away from the man.
"Doesn't matter if I can prove it," Mark continued. "It would ruin his reputation."
"You don't think what you did to these boys will ruin your reputation?" Ian demanded.
"Actually, no I don't. You can't prove shit, and at my company a rumor floating around that I may have hit a couple of faggots and stood up for decent family values will reflect well on me."
Ian took a few deep breaths and then started guiding Nick and Jeff out of the room. "Come on guys. We're leaving."
"Yes, please do. Just don't call the cops unless you want the mother of all shitstorms to rain down on you," Mark said. Just before they were out of the room he added, "Oh and, Jeff?"
Nick tried to pull Jeff away, but he stopped and slowly turned back to look at his father.
"Yeah?" he asked quietly.
"I just wanted you to know one more thing before you left. Ever since you were old enough to walk, you've been nothing but a repulsive, embarrassing failure to me. I basically came to expect it from you. But this." He waved his arm, pointing at Nick and Jeff's joined hands. "This is the last straw. I'm done trying to help you. I disown you. May you rot in hell where you belong."
"And may you go there fast," Frank added as he moved toward them and began hustling them out the door. "Now both you sissy-fags get the hell out of my house. And dontcha ever come back neither or I'll take my shotgun to ya."
Nick felt his dad's arm tighten around him and realized that he had also pulled Jeff closer. He whispered something to Jeff that Nick couldn't hear as they walked down the hallway. Nick was unnerved to realize that Frank Sterling was still following them, apparently intent on seeing them out personally.
When they got the living room they found Connie Sterling sitting in a rocking chair, wrapped up in a shawl, and knitting quietly, a diligent look on her face, as though it were her responsibility to single-handedly reinforce stereotypes about older women. When she spotted them she rose to her feet and advanced toward them threateningly, knitting needles still in hand.
"Where do you think you're going with him?" She demanded, gesturing at her grandson with one of the little metal rods.
Ian started to answer. "He's coming with–"
"Woman, you get out of the way and get on to bed," Frank hollered.
"But they can't–"
"NOW, Constance."
Jeff's grandma sighed dramatically and folded her arms, reluctantly stepping aside, but making no move to leave the room.
"Bye grandma," Jeff said quietly as he moved to embrace the woman.
"Don't–" Frank started.
"SHUT UP!" Nick yelled, glaring at the old man and stepping protectively between him, and Jeff and his grandmother.
"Come on, Nick," Ian said softly a few moments later, a hand on Nick's shoulder.
When Nick turned again Jeff had finished hugging his grandmother and was waiting by the door. As they left the house the elderly woman gave Nick a hostile glare.
Once outside, Nick quickly spied his dad's car parked at the end of the driveway behind the Sterlings' vehicle. As they approached it, Cathy scrambled out of the front passenger seat, wide eyed and visibly upset.
"Thank god!" she declared as she sprinted toward them and embraced Ian. "You've been gone for so long. I was about to call the police." After releasing her husband she turned her attention to Nick and Jeff.
"Jeff, when did you shave your..." Cathy trailed off and raised a hand to her mouth. Then she studied Nick more carefully too. "What happened to you two?"
"We'll talk about it on the way. We need to leave now," Ian answered, steering his wife back toward the car, Nick and Jeff following. "Will you drive, Cat? I'm kind of shaken up."
"Of course," Cathy said, opening the driver's side door.
Nick climbed into the backseat, never releasing Jeff's hand. Instead he slid over and tugged Jeff in after him. Then he wrapped his arms around Jeff and pulled him against his chest.
"Seatbelts guys," Ian said, turning around in his seat as Cathy started the car and began to back out.
"Dad, I wanna hold Jeff," Nick protested.
"Then one of you can sit in the middle seat with the seatbelt on," Ian answered.
Nick frowned, not wanting to readjust now that they were comfortable, and also suspecting that cuddling would be more difficult with the seatbelts on, but he nevertheless did as his dad had requested.
"We need to go to the hospital," Ian said a few moments later as he tapped at his phone. "I'm looking it up."
"Hospital? Oh my god, what happened?!" Cathy asked again.
"Uh, sorry, but uh..." Jeff trailed off nervously.
"Yes, Jeff?" Ian asked, looking up from his phone.
Nick gave him a reassuring squeeze and urged him to continue. "Well, if we go to the hospital, w-won't there be a lot of questions? Plus, don't they need parental consent to treat me? And I think I'm fine anyway."
"Yeah, I'm fine too," Nick chimed in. The last thing he wanted to do was spend the next several hours in a hospital.
"Nick, I know for a fact you have a head injury. We're going to the hospital. Jeff, where are you hurt?"
"You have a head injury?!" Jeff exclaimed, turning in Nick's arms to look at him.
"Just a little one," Nick said with a shrug. He wasn't particularly keen to tell Jeff that it had been inflicted by his beloved grandmother.
Eventually it was decided that Nick would go to the hospital to get his head and shoulder checked out, but that Jeff wouldn't be seen by doctors since he assured everyone that his most significant injury was the black eye. He had a few shallow cuts and scrapes on his head as well as bruises on his arms, chest, and back, but hadn't received any major blows. Ian documented both boys' injuries with photographs, but agreed to hold off on calling the police until they could consult with a lawyer.
After what felt like an eternity, but was really only about an hour, a doctor finally saw Nick. She introduced herself as Doctor Gordon and invited Ian to join Nick in the exam room. Cathy and Jeff remained in the waiting room.
"How did the injuries occur?" Dr. Gordon asked as she examined Nick.
"Um, a frying pan fell on my head...and uh, another one fell on my shoulder." Nick inwardly groaned at his own lame excuse and kicked himself for not spending at least part of the last hour coming up with a believable story.
"My, that's quite unusual," Dr. Gordon remarked. "How did it happen?"
"I was, you know...by the stove, and uh there were a bunch of pots and pans on it, and then I bent down to tie my shoe and...somehow they fell all over me."
"He was involved in a fight, doctor," Ian said.
Nick frowned at him, but didn't deny it. He had a feeling Dr. Gordon hadn't quite bought his version of events anyway.
"I see. Mr. Duval, may I speak with you for a moment?" she asked nodding toward the door.
"Wh-why?" Nick asked, looking back and forth between the doctor and his dad.
"It's okay, buddy. I'll be right back," Ian answered, patting Nick's shoulder and following the doctor out of the room.
A few minutes later Dr. Gordon returned alone. She gave Nick a friendly smile and went to stand next to him.
"Your dad seems to really care about you," she remarked.
"Yep," Nick agreed with a nod. "Uh, where is he anyway?"
"I asked him to give us a few minutes."
"Why?" Nick asked again, his stomach clenching in anxiety. "Is this because I lied about the stove thing?"
"Partly," Dr. Gordon answered. "You know even parents who really love their kids sometimes lose their tempers and–"
"My dad would never hit me!" Nick exclaimed as he realized where she was going with this conversation. "He did not do this to me."
Dr. Gordon nodded and smiled again. "Okay, I believe you. I actually assumed you were fighting with the other guy who was in the waiting room with you. I just needed to rule out parental abuse."
"That's my boyfriend, Jeff. I wouldn't..." Nick trailed off, hating the idea that she believed he and Jeff had fought with each other, but deciding it might be simpler. "I wouldn't want him to get in trouble."
Dr. Gordon seemed nonplussed for a few moments, but then she spoke. "Well, it would be up to your parents, and his, if any charges were filed. But Nick, you really shouldn't resolve your disputes with violence, especially if the person involved is your significant other. I get that you're both guys, but that doesn't make it okay to hit each other when you're angry."
"I'm sorry, it definitely won't happen again. I promise," Nick answered, once again feeling a heavy, unpleasant sensation in his chest at the way he and Jeff were being construed. "So uh, am I free to go?"
"Actually your dad requested a CT scan for your head. It looks like you have a mild concussion and we want to make sure it isn't anything more serious. Don't worry; it probably isn't. Your shoulder seems to be fine, just bruised, but we're going to do an X-ray to make sure."
The additional tests, and waiting for the results, ended up taking nearly another hour. By the time they got back in the car everyone was exhausted and it looked like they wouldn't even get home until after sunrise. There was talk of staying at a hotel instead, but ultimately Ian and Cathy decided to each drive half the distance.
By this point Nick and Jeff had filled Nick's dad and Cathy in on everything that had happened, and they had even had a chance to call Nick's mom and Maggie and get them caught up to speed as well. They were predictably freaked out and worried, but after Nick and Jeff had each had a chance to talk to them they calmed down. Nick was just texting Maggie and his mom the results of his CT and X-rays – it was a mild concussion and he didn't have any broken bones – when Jeff spoke up, making what must have been his hundredth apology of the night.
"I'm so sorry about all of this," Jeff said quietly, staring at his hands. "I endangered Nick and got him hurt. I ruined you guys' night. I cost everyone a lot of time and money and suffering...god I just...I'm so sorry."
"Jeff, none of this was your fault," Ian said for what must have also been the hundredth time.
Nick decided to take a different route at comforting Jeff this time and get out some of his own guilt in the process. "Yeah, it was my fault."
"What?!" Jeff, Ian, and Cathy all asked in unison.
"Well I like ionized your grandpa at dinner by getting all upset about his depository remarks," Nick explained as he replayed the events in his head.
"What did he say?" Cathy whispered to Ian.
"He antagonized the guy by being offended by his derogatory remarks," Ian translated.
"Yeah, plus what was happening when he walked in was sorta my fault too," Nick continued.
"What was happening?" Cathy asked innocently.
"Cat," Ian said significantly.
"Ohh!" Cathy exclaimed a moment later, covering her mouth and looking down.
"Nick, that wasn't your fault," Jeff said. "I'm glad you're the kind of person who can't keep quiet when someone is being prejudiced, and I was do-doing that other stuff too."
Nick couldn't see him well enough to be certain in the dark, but he was pretty sure Jeff was blushing. He wondered if the blush was spreading to his now-bare head.
"Look guys, neither one of you should blame yourself," Ian said. "Although there is one more thing I'd like to know, but it's kind of a delicate topic."
"We weren't havin' sex, Dad. We were just makin' out and dry humping a lot," Nick said.
"That wasn't what I wanted to ask," Ian answered.
"Don't worry. We have condoms for when the time comes," Nick said.
"That wasn't it either."
"Oh well we–"
"Nick, please stop guessing and let him ask his question!" Jeff interrupted, covering Nick's mouth with his hand.
Ian chuckled. "Thank you, Jeff. What I wanted to know was why neither of you ever told me about the situation with your family."
"That was the first time anything like that's ever happened," Jeff answered softly.
"They always treated him bad though and his dad and brother have always been jerks to him," Nick added. Jeff gave him an annoyed frown.
"Why didn't you ever say anything, Jeff?" Ian asked.
Jeff shrugged and leaned his head into Nick's shoulder. "It wasn't a big deal."
"Jeff, the things they said, at least the ones they said in front of me, and what they did to you – that is a big deal. It's not okay for anyone to treat you like that, especially your family."
"His new family sure won't treat him like that, right Dad?" Nick declared squeezing Jeff close and kissing the top of his head.
"Right!" Ian answered just as enthusiastically.
The family got home shortly after dawn on Saturday morning. Nick and Jeff quickly got cleaned up and went straight to bed. Nick had planned to hold Jeff until he fell asleep. He wanted to make sure that Jeff felt safe and loved and knew that nothing like that nightmarish night would ever happen to him again. Unfortunately almost as soon as his head hit the pillow he was fast asleep. He could only hope that Jeff joined him in dreamland right away too.
Nick was not pleased when his dad woke him up a couple of hours later to check on him, followed by Cathy a couple of hours after that, and then his dad again after that. He had hoped that they would either ignore or forget about that particular set of instructions from Dr. Gordon. By the time he and Jeff finally got up for good early Saturday afternoon, Nick felt like he had spent more time being woken up than actually sleeping.
When Jeff came back into the room that afternoon Nick realized that he had shaved off the few random patches of hair that his father and grandpa had missed. It was tough getting used to Jeff's radical new look, but Nick made it a point not to be awkward about it. He still held the back of Jeff's head when they kissed and still nuzzled his ear like he always had. He was unsurprised, however, when Jeff dug an old beanie out of his closet and asked if he could wear it.
"You guys ready to go to the mall?" Ian asked a little while later as he knocked on their open door.
"For new phones?!" Nick guessed enthusiastically, his face lighting up.
It hadn't even been twenty-four hours yet and he already felt like his arm was missing – if not his whole arm then at least the thing that was supposed to go at the end of it so he could text, play games, and browse the net.
"Yes, buddy for new phones," Ian answered with a smile of his own. "And whatever else Jeff needs."
"Let's get iPhones!" Nick said, clapping Jeff's shoulder and bouncing slightly. "Although I really like Seb's new Droid. You think we should do Droids instead?"
"I don't need a phone," Jeff said shaking his head.
"Of course you do. How could you not have a phone?" Nick demanded. "You couldn't text without a phone...Wouldn't your thumbs atrophy or something? Mine are already feeling a little twitchy."
"Jeff, unlikely hand disfigurement aside, you do need a phone," Ian said.
"But I don't want...I mean phones are expensive and...I don't want to take advantage or cost you a lot of money." Jeff sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at his feet.
"Listen pal," Ian said, taking a seat next to him and patting his back. "This is going to be a period of adjustment for everyone, but we're going to get through it. And I'm not saying we can buy you anything you want, but you don't need to worry about any of the basics, or even any of the extras like phones and clothes, or next year's Dalton tuition. Nick's mom – who also wants to be involved by the way – does just fine financially and so do Cathy and I. Right now I'm a lot more concerned about your emotional well-being than anything else."
"I'm fine," Jeff insisted right away. It was a little too quick and too insistent for Nick's liking.
"Maybe we could go talk to one of Dalton's guidance councilors Monday," Nick suggested as he sat down next to him and took his hand.
"I don't–" Jeff started.
Nick squeezed his hand and cut him off. "I kinda feel like I need to talk to someone about what happened. Would you come with me please, Jeffy?"
"Okay," Jeff agreed quietly. Ian smiled and nodded at Nick over Jeff's shoulder.
With that settled, they went phone shopping. Jeff insisted that he didn't need anything besides a phone since he hadn't lost all that much except a few sets of clothes and some toiletries. Nick knew that he probably had some other random odds and ends in his bags, but he backed Jeff up that he really did have lots of clothes still at Dalton.
After they left the mall they went to dinner. Then Nick and Jeff spent the rest of the evening cuddled up watching movies in Nick's bed. On several occasions throughout the evening, Nick tried to talk about everything that had happened during their visit from hell, but now that Jeff had quit constantly apologizing he was reluctant to discuss it at all. He listened attentively to everything Nick had to say, but he wouldn't speak beyond one- or two-word phrases when Nick tried to get him to open up.
Nick couldn't understand how Jeff could be so unemotional about what had happened. Nick knew that their situations were completely different, but he couldn't even begin to imagine how he himself would have felt if he had just lost his entire family, especially after such a traumatic series of events. Eventually Nick gave up on pressing the issue anymore that night, worried that he might be doing more harm than good by needlessly stressing Jeff out.
The next day they slept late again and lounged around the house until early evening. Then Ian drove them back to Dalton so that they would be ready for classes on Monday. He gave them the option of staying a couple of more days at the house, and even said they should skip classes if they weren't up to it, but both boys insisted that they were okay and wanted to get back into their routine.
Nick was also hoping that by getting out and going to class the next day, Jeff would feel better and would also be more inclined to talk to the guidance councilor. He didn't doubt that Jeff would actually go with him since he had agreed that he would, but he was worried that Jeff might sit there like a statue. Nick reasoned that if Jeff had a normal Monday and was forced to interact with other people all day, he might just keep going with it once they got to the guidance councilor.
As Ian dropped them off in front of their residence hall he reminded them that he would be looking for a lawyer the next day to consult with regarding the situation with Jeff's parents. Then he told them both that he loved them and drove away.
Nick wrapped his arm around Jeff's shoulders as they walked into the building. Jeff stiffened and looked around nervously.
"It's okay, Jeffy. Just a friendly gesture," Nick whispered as he pressed the button for the elevator. Then he added with a laugh, "Besides people think I'm dating Sebastian anyway."
"Oh great. So they'll realize I'm gay and think I'm a cheater," Jeff remarked with a small smirk, letting Nick know that he was kidding.
They continued laughing and joking around until they got to their room. Nick was thrilled. Jeff really did seem almost completely back to normal now that they were back on campus.
"Let's play some Call of Duty and then watch Transformers," Nick suggested as he unlocked the door and pushed it open for Jeff.
"Sounds good we can..."
Nick crashed into Jeff as the other teen stopped walking as abruptly as he'd stopped talking.
"Mom?" Jeff said, his voice already cracking with emotion.
Nick stepped into the room behind Jeff, his eyes wide with surprise. Sure enough there was Susan Sterling, sitting on Jeff's bed with her hands folded demurely in her lap.
"Campus security let me in," Susan explained, inclining her head toward one of the security patrol officers whom Nick recognized as vaguely familiar looking. The tall, muscular man was occupying the seat in front of Nick's desk, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Susan continued before Nick had a chance to ponder whether that meant that he needed a new desk chair or if the man might have known something that they didn't.
"You can use the restroom if you'd like, but then we really need to get going. We have a long drive ahead of us," Susan said.
"What are you talking about?" Jeff asked. "Does Dad know you're here? Wait, is Dad here?"
Jeff peered around the room carefully and Nick found himself doing the same. Mark Sterling was hardly the type of man who could hide in small spaces, but Nick wasn't going to take any chances. If Mark were lurking somewhere, Nick wanted to know about sooner rather than later.
"Your father isn't here, and yes, he knows I am. He's not happy about it, but that's his problem."
Nick looked incredulously at Jeff's mother. Where was that attitude when the guy had been tormenting Jeff for all these years? Or more recently, for those few terrible hours on Friday night?
"I knew," Susan said quietly, staring at her hands.
"Kn-knew?" Jeff asked, his voice faltering as he slowly approached his mother.
"About..." Susan looked up and waved her hand between Nick and Jeff. "About you. That's why I asked you to invite Nick this weekend."
"Why? I-I don't understand," Jeff said, slowly taking a seat at his desk and turning the chair to face his mother.
"I knew your grandpa would be able to tell for sure. After dinner I knew that he was suspicious. That's why when your father tried to get you to bunk with John, I insisted you share with Nick instead."
"So you set us up?!" Nick shouted. "You got us both beaten! You got me locked in a closet, and you got Jeff shaved and tied to a tub! What the hell kind of mother are you?"
"I called your father to come and get you didn't I?" Susan answered defensively, before returning her attention to her son.
"I'm not giving up on you, Jeff. Not like your dad. This disgusting thing perverted you," Susan said, scrunching her pretty face in contempt and waving at Nick as though he were a fly buzzing around her lunch.
"But there's still hope," she continued. "It's not too late for you. You can be fixed."
"Mom, I-I'm h-happy with N-nick," Jeff stammered. Nick could tell that he was close to tears, and he cursed the fact that the emotional stonewalling that Jeff so adeptly used with most of his family never seemed to apply to this woman.
"Don't say that!" Susan exclaimed, her voice sharp and angry. "I'm going to save you, son. Thousands of confused young men and woman just like you have been through this, and they've gone on to lead healthy, normal lives."
She rose to her feet and looked at Jeff expectantly. "Now get up; we're leaving."
"You're not taking him anywhere!" Nick yelled, jumping up and wedging himself protectively into the small space between Jeff and his mother. "He doesn't need fixing. He's perfect and amazing the way he is. Way better than you or any of your rotten family deserve."
"Mr. Sherman, could you please control this boy?" Susan requested, smiling sweetly at the security guard.
"I'm sorry, kid, but you need to stand down," the large man said as he placed a heavy hand on Nick's injured shoulder.
"You can't let her take him!" Nick shouted. "You're our security guard and she's basically kidnapping him."
"I'm his mother," Susan taunted, smirking at Nick "It's impossible for me to kidnap him. If anything your father is the one who kidnap him." She turned her attention back to her son. "And, Jeff, I will press charges against Mr. Duval for that, unless you cooperate."
Jeff sniffled and stood up, betraying the fact that he was crying to himself. Nick's heart ached and he placed a soothing hand on Jeff's arm, only to have it pulled away a moment later by Mr. Sherman. Susan wrapped her own fingers around Jeff's arm and started leading him to the door.
"WAIT!" Nick screamed trying unsuccessfully to wrench himself loose from Mr. Sherman's strong grasp. "If you leave with him, my dad will have you arrested for assault and get Jeff taken away from you for child abuse."
Susan laughed. "That'll be a neat trick considering I specifically avoided going anywhere near either you or my son while the assault was going on. I didn't even see it."
"Your husband will go to jail!" Nick threatened, his heart pounding and his hands clenched in fists.
"Only if I'm lucky," Susan answered with an impish grin as she opened the door.
"Bye Nick," Jeff said quietly, tears streaming down his face as his mother yanked him from the room. "I love you."
-000-
End Note: Yikes! Sorry everyone, but yeah, another downer sort of chapter ending. There's still more to go with this story arc, and everything won't immediately be okay again, but I do promise that things will start to look up and also that I won't be leaving you with anymore surprise evil cliffhangers for the next several chapters. As always, reviews and feedback on this chapter are greatly appreciated and may inspire me to write a bit more quickly.
Two other pieces of news I wanted to share. First, I recently learned about the upcoming Jyder week! It's June 24th – June 30th, and considering that Jyder is one of my favorite new addictions I'm eagerly looking forward to participating. I'll be posting my stories here on FF for it. I hope you'll check them out if you get a chance.
Second, speaking of things I hope you'll check out, my good friend jlbassmaster is about to launch a brand new multi-chapter AU Sory (Sam/Rory) fic. It's inspired and heavily influenced by True Blood. I had the privilege of working on some of the betas for it, and just WOW! If you like Sory, True Blood, or simply action-packed, exciting plots, then you won't want to miss this one! Look for it to be released on Sunday, June 16th, the same night as the True Blood season premiere.
