Alfred trudged back to the hotel and picked up the phone in his room.

"Alright, let's make this call to the Resistance."

He pressed the number 8 and waited.

"Pizza Hut."

"…Pizza Hut?"

"Yeah, you want some sort of pizza?"

"Pizza Hut still exists?

"Uh yeah I think so."

"Weird. I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number."

"Soo… you don't want a big ol' pizza?

"Not from Pizza Hut," Alfred scoffed.

"Yeeaahh, our pizzas are pretty gross."

"Yep."

"They're so good though. It's like someone scraped up all the greasy shit from all the other pizzas and mashed them together."

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"Wait hold on a second. How about some pastas?"

"You sell pastas?"

"Yeah, all sorts of pastas."

"Okay, what's on your pastas menu?"

There was a pause as the person on the line put his hand over the receiver.

"Well, it's really just cheesy chicken or cheesy beef."

"I don't want either of those."

"How about some cheesy sticks?"

"I just don't want anything form pizza hut, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we get that a lot"

"You get a lot of people calling and then not ordering?" Alfred asked incredulously.

"Yeah, kind of all the time."

"Huh."

There was an awkward silence.

"Hey, do you play Pokémon?"

"No."

"Oh. …You wanna talk about Pokémon?"

"Look, I've got a super important call to make," Alfred interrupted.

"Oh, are you calling about the resistance?"

"Yes?"

"You must be Heart of America. Sorry, I didn't realize it was you."

"So this isn't Pizza Hut?"

"No, it is Pizza Hut, I work here. But I'm also passing on messages from the resistance."

"Sure, why not?"

"I've got a location for you to go for pick up."

"Hold on, let me get a pen."

"It's 8."

"8," Alfred repeated, deadpan.

"Yeah. 8."

"That's the entire address?"

"Yep. Just go to 8."

"Well, okay then. Thanks for your help."

There was another awkward pause.

"Do you want me to send a pizza along with the driver?"

"No, do not do that."

Alfred stood beside the highway where he met Chessmate, looking left and right anxiously. Not seeing anything, he turned around to analyze the forest. Nothing out of the ordinary. He sighed.

"Stupid….8…"

There was a humming noise as a small silver car approached Alfred. It slowed down to a stop, and the driver rolled down the window.

"Well, I'm here; you better get quick," Gorslax said.

"Gorslax! You're in the Resistance?" Alfred exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm in lots of Resistances, among other things."

"Who's in charge of all this?"

"Just get in the goddamn car, it's dangerous out here right now!"

"Oh my god, I've been out here for like, 2 hours." Despite his grumbling, Alfred got in the car.

"Nice beige family Sudan you got here Gorslax," he commented.

"If only I had some fine leather seats for you to place your precious little asshole on."

"Alright, sorry, geez."

"What kind of music do you like?"

"I don't know."

"I like listening to death metal myself."

And with that, blaring guitar riffs and impossible drum solos filled the car.

"Oh my god."

"Now that is smooth."

"Let's just get out of here."

Gorslax glanced out of the rear-view mirror.

"Uh oh, looks like we got a little buddy!"

"What? Who?" Alfred asked, turning around in his seat.

A few feet away from the car, a figure cloaked in swirls of darkness, bony fingers outstretched, approached slowly.

"Ah shit! It's an alien!"

"Yeah, they've been after us all day."

"It's getting closer! Step on it!" Alfred yelled.

"The car's not moving! I think it's got us in some sort of tractor beam."

"I don't see any tractor beams!"

"Well maybe the alien put sugar in our gas tank!"

"I don't think the alien pranked our ride!"

"Oh, it's getting real close now."

"Oh come on! I don't want to have to talk to Jesus about cubes again!"

"Wait a minute! Looks like I just had the parking brake on."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"That is some classic Gorslax right there."

But before the car could move, before the alien could get any closer, a very large black suitcase fell from the sky, crushing and obliterating the alien. A familiar figure popped out of the suitcase.

"CHECKMATE, Heart of America!" Chessmate proclaimed.

Alfred rolled down the window and stuck his head out.

"Oh. Oh hey."

"No matter where you go, no matter who you become, I, Chessmate, will-"

"Alright, whatever. Let's go." Alfred withdrew his head, and the duo drove off.