"Try to stop thinking about it." Halibel urged him where he sat on the washroom floor, blanket held tight around him as he shook. "It doesn't do any good."

"I'm going to kill him." He just muttered back to himself. "I'm going to find him and kill him slow."

"Are you? What if you fought and were overpowered and-"

"FUCK, Halibel! We're not prisoners anymore I could handle one Stern Ritter. Why would you even go there?" "Because you are afraid of that."

"Screw off."

"You realize you are just fighting with yourself."

He fumed, rising and splashing water in his face. "So what if I am?"

"It just might make them worry." She glanced sideways at the door. Shit. It was hardly sound proof in the exam room washroom. He opened it before they could.

They had heard, it was obvious, but they said nothing.

"Are you okay to continue now?"

He looked at Unohana for a second before another flash of memory crossed his vision: skin and noises. He took a step back into the bathroom.

"Grimmjow..." Ichigo watched him grip the sink and heave again. "Unohana, what can we do?"

They watched his thin, scarred body convulse again. He didn't have much left in him but memories seemed determined to keep him retching.

"I can give him something for his nerves, and the nausea, but for the rest, it will take time, Ichigo. If possible, I would like to finish the exam today so I can treat anything that might be happening in his system."

"Okay." Ichigo approached the bathroom. Grimmjow was just holding the sink now as if it was all that could keep him standing. Ichigo picked up the blanket that had been dropped and moved to the espada's side. "Can you make it back to the bed?" He just nodded and didn't refuse the helping hand Ichigo offered him. He was guided back to the exam bed. Unohana lowered it so his feet weren't off the ground. Ichigo hovered, not sure if he was supposed to leave again but when he started to withdraw, Grimmjow caught his wrist. He sat with him.

The blood tests and scans were the easy part. It was when Unohana began examining his body that Grimmjow resisted. He didn't want to lay down when she asked him to. He didn't want her to look over his bare back, or abdomen, to check scars and ask questions. He went rigid when she tried to examine his hollow hole. Ichigo watched her frown deeply, her hand never touching him, just hovering over, a faint spiritual glow allowed her to assess the damage. Then she backed up, and cast a wider glow around him, pulling out an instrument to take readings of his spiritual pressure.

"Why is she doing that?" Halibel asked him. "She knows you weren't changed in the chair like Ichigo was."

"I don't know."

"Grimmjow, you know she's going to want to look at that other scar." Her eyes cast down to the one that rose above his shorts.

"What?"

"She's going to want to see all of you."

"But it's just a scar."

"Grimmjow?" Unohana had dropped her hands, the glow faded. His own hand had fallen over that sensitive area. "What is it?"

"Nothing." He tried weakly.

"It's from an electric rod." Ichigo supplied, Grimmjow shot him a look of betrayal but he continued. "The same one that burned him on his back, and in his hollow space."

"I'm fucking fine." Grimmjow growled again, sliding off the table.

"Those scars cause you quite a bit of pain, don't they?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Here." she went to a cabinet and returned with a jar of a thick cream. "This will help. Perhaps Ichigo could help you with it. I will run these tests and let you know the results."

"Thanks." Ichigo said on the others' behalf. "Here." Ichigo took the jar and snapped off the lid. Grimmjow watched it and him suspiciously.

"I'm okay." He protested.

"Just let me, okay?" He got Grimmjow to lay on his stomach, his body tense, head turned to watch Ichigo's every move. "Grimmjow, try to relax. It's been a stressful morning, I just want to help."

He didn't seem able to relax. He flinched when Icghio rubbed a small amount over a bad scar on his shoulder blade. He shut his eyes when he moved further down his back.

"Grimmjow things are going to get better." Ichigo whispered above him as he worked. "I know it's going to take some time but we're safe now, and we're together." He ran his hand over the six tattoo just next to his hollow hole. "Do you feel any difference?"

"A bit." Grimmjow murmured. Just from putting it on, Ichigo could feel a cool tingle in his finger tips.

"Okay, roll over." Grimmjow shifted onto his back. Ichigo started at an old burn along his collar.

"These are awful Grimmjow." He just whispered, looking down on the many raised patches of skin. That horrible man had held the electric rod against his skin so long it had fried under the contact. The thought of it was sickening and clearly it left Grimmjow in pain when he flinched at another touch.

"Hell." Grimmjow caught his wrist when he tried to treat one along his hollow hole.

"Shit, Grimmjow, I didn't know you were in so much pain."

"Is it the pain or is it the memory?" Halibel said over his shoulder. He ignored her.

"It's just sensitive." he relaxed his grip on Ichigo and the teen continued, though the discomfort in Grimmjow was clear.

He reached lower, toward the worst scar of them all but knowing this would not go over well.

"Don't." Grimmjow warned.

"You said it was making them feel better."

"Just don't, Ichigo."

Ichigo let it go. He wasn't going to push Grimmjow any further than he already had. He gave him his clothes, he got changed, they went to check on Ichigo's dad while they waited for test results. No change. The ate. They waited. Isane came and found them in the yard in the early evening and told them the Captain was waiting for them.

Unohana looked tired. She hadn't stopped for nearly twenty four hours, but on her desk seemed a full report of all the tests she'd run today. She got them to sit and went over the results, giving Grimmjow a cleaner bill of health than either man dared hope. Yes, his immune system wasn't great, it would take more rest and regular eating to erase that, but he had no sexually transmitted infections. They were relieved.

"I will be putting you on a regiment of supplements to get your body back to good health, along with antibiotics to fight some minor infections in your system. But I am afraid for now, that is all I can do."

"What do you mean by that?" Ichigo asked, concerned.

"I simply mean there are several poorly healed bone fractures and tissue damage that at some point should be looked after, but these are busy times. While the war with the Vandenreich continues, I will do all that I can but I can't promise anything. And of course, there is Halibel." She took a breath. "Grimmjow you need help, but I simply do not have the time to devote to your case. And since you have coped better than we could have hoped since discovering her true nature, my best suggestion is to remain under supervision."

"You mean I have to stay locked in that room?"

"No. I was going to suggest you and Ichigo ask the sixth squad if you can stay with them, in particular the lieutenant. I feel that you might benefit from the privacy and restful nature of the Kuchki manor, and I am certain both captain and lieutenant would not mind keeping an eye on you."

"That sounds fair." Ichigo said. Grimmjow said nothing, not really knowing to whom Unohana was referring.

"And Ichigo, I have not forgotten about you."

"I know."

"I know it's getting late, but you need a physical as much as Grimmjow. You've lost a terrible amount of weight. If we could, I would do an exam now and the two of you could start your rehabilitation together."

"Sounds good."

"Alright, then if you would wait here, Grimmjow."

"Yeah." She and Ichigo went to the other room again. Grimmjow sat where Ichigo had that morning. Halibel took Unohana's seat.

"This is good." She said. "You and Ichigo can stay together, and you're going to start getting better."

"Yeah." He whispered back.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just... confusing. One minute I feel like I'm the strong one, taking care of Ichigo, and the next I'm losing it and he's the one holding onto me."

"Well, that's how it should be. Your cases might be a little more extreme than usual, but a relationship goes both ways."

"Is it even a relationship?"

"Yes, whether you label it or not, you two are definitely in a relationship. Besides, if I think you are, then you think you are."

"Right.."

"Just remember that it goes both ways. You're there for each other."

"Just like we were."

"Yes."

"But in the end, I couldn't save you."

"It doesn't mean the same will happen with Ichigo. And besides," She rose from Unohana's seat and bent to face him straight on. "I keep telling you, my death was not your fault. And neither is anything they did to me." Her hand fell over his hip and he shot to his feet, pain scorching down his flesh on the scar he'd told Ichigo to leave alone.

"You're not even real." He muttered his confusion- he always felt her but how could she cause him pain?

"I think it's time you get rid of that scar."

He glared at her, but he knew what she meant. Already he'd noticed the rough tissue softening where Ichigo had put the cream on scars. The spiritual properties of the ointment weren't just soothing them, they were erasing them.

"But you don't want to, do you?" Halibel continued.

"What?"

"Because of your guilt."

"Enough." He sat back down. "I'm not arguing with you anymore."

"I'm just saying, that's all."

"Well don't." They, or he, lapsed into silence but he watched her for a long time. "I still can't believe you're gone." He had not had much time to adjust to the fact. "I didn't know it could feel this bad, to lose someone."

"You never cared about anyone else, until me."

"I guess."

"You will have to let me go someday though."

"How?"

She shrugged. "When you're ready to face what happened."

"Oh."

The door opened, Ichigo and Unohana returned.

"How did it go?" He asked them.

"I'm very positive Ichigo will have a full recovery in time." She informed him. "I will prescribe the same course of action for you both in terms of nutrition and antibiotics. But I would like to take Ichigo through spiritual treatments whenever I can."

"Okay." The teen said.

"The results from both of your spiritual exams will have to be run through the twelfth division, so we will have to wait before that. For now, just rest."

They thanked her and left. Ichigo walked them to the Kuchki manor. Rukia was sitting on the front porch with Renji, she was leaned back in the crook of his arm but jerked away from him when she heard them coming.

"Don't move on our account." Ichigo smiled. She blushed furiously. "Come on, Rukia, it's not like I don't know."

"It's not proper for a Captain to be involved with his lieutenant, so I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh, right." He said for the sake of anyone who might be listening in. It was no secret that the two had turned to one another after Byakuya's death. They had been friends for years, but tragedy and nearly losing their own lives in that first battle drove them much closer. But it was still not exactly in line with soul society rules, especially since Rukia had moved into the position of Renji's lieutenant, so they did not advertise their relationship.

"Are you two going to stay here?" She asked, rising. "Unohana had sent me a message earlier."

"Yeah, if it's alright."

"Of course." Renji stretched and stood as well and the four moved inside. Renji poured drinks for them all and they knelt around the table in silence.

There was really too much to be said, that no one had the heart to start. Ichigo looked awful, he was a constant reminder of their failure to reach him quickly. Grimmjow had been their enemy, had wounded Rukia terribly. But now he was a broken soul. So it wasn't long before Rukia offered to show them to a room. The manor was traditional in style, but Rukia had arranged a pair of mattresses for Grimmjow and Ichigo, heaped with blankets and pillows to cover their wasted frames. Ichigo thanked her and she slid the door shut behind her. Espada and boy stared the the beds in silence, neither sure what the other wanted. It had been a long, emotional day.

Finally, it was Ichigo who spoke. "If you need space, I understand."

"I think...I might need some time Ichigo." Grimmjow wasn't the best at deciphering his own feelings, but when Ichigo moved from him he caught his wrist, "but not space."

The teen turned back to him, the dark masking his features some, but never those sharp eyes. They didn't kiss, they just moved into one another. A shaky breath escaped the espada and Ichigo knew he was suffering from those memories.

"Do you want to sleep?"

The head pressed into his shoulder nodded. Each mattress was decently sized so he just pulled back the sheets on the nearest one and took Grimmjow's hand to draw him down. He undid his own hoody before reaching to undo the zipper of Grimmjow's. He was placid, just watching Ichigo and letting him remove the sweater.

"Lay down." Ichigo whispered. Grimmjow did, settling on his back, letting out a long breath. The teen drew up the blankets and lay in the crook of his arm, rolling so his right arm hugged across Grimmjow's middle, just like they had lain that first time on the couch.

"Thank you." Grimmjow whispered before shutting his eyes. His breathing calmed. They fell asleep.


It was a long night, in the end. Grimmjow had slept almost peacefully for the first couple of hours, but after that he woke with a start and nothing short of threw Ichigo from him. Had they been on a raised bed, Ichigo probably would have been injured, but since he only fell a few inches, he was fine, though startled. His own dreams were no picnic.

"Fuck, sorry." Grimmjow said, leaning his head into a hand. "I didn't mean to." "It's okay." Ichigo sat up but didn't get back into the bed.

"I'm fine." Grimmjow urged.

"I can take the other bed."

"Don't."

"Okay." He got back in but Grimmjow remained sitting up for a long time. Weariness eventually pulled Ichigo back under but he was startled awake again by Grimmjow's arms clenching around him. He must have hugged Ichigo against him at some point in the night but now he was crushing him.

"G-Grimmjow!" His strained breath pulled the espada awake. The room shook slightly with a ripple of his power.

"Dammit." He let Ichigo go and rolled from the bed, standing.

"Grimmjow?" "I'm sorry, Kid." He slid the door open and left the room. Ichigo hurried after him but he had stopped on the front step where they had encountered Rukia and Renji earlier that day. He didn't speak, he just sat on the deck's edge and stared down at the grass.

Ichigo sat next to him, watching the ripples in the coy pond, smooth motions of the fish ghosting under the liquid distortion. He tried to calm his own mind down, and not think about what had happened to him, what Bach had said or about his father lying comatose next to Kisuke in the Fourth. And he definitely tried not to think about what happened to Grimmjow. But breaking breaths forced him to face reality and he turned to see Grimmjow shaking. They were quiet tears, but no less pain-filled. The tranquillity of the evening perhaps, prevented the full on violent, angry sobs he'd witnessed earlier. This was just utter sorrow.

Grimmjow's hands were clenched tight over his knees, but Ichigo slid his over top of one. They sat together until tears were spent and silence resumed, and the moon wended over the sky and coy fish danced in lunar-lit harmony.


Thanks for all your thoughts, I am glad I continued as well, we'll see how the rest goes!

Riza.