Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing in any shape or form. I do, however, own the plot line and any original characters so don't steal them okay? Just let me know and I'll let u borrow them :D I'm nice that way.
A/N: I know it's been a while and you've all been wonderfully patient, some of you not so much, but here i am! It took me time coz i had a butt load of work that i needed a butt load of time to finish (I love house don't you?) and by the end of it i just wanted to sleep.
But now I'm back! And oh boy am i back! Double update!!!
I wanted triple update (why not make history while I'm at it :D) but school interefered. If you have any complains... uh... have a cookie. Coz there's nothing i can do abt it. :D
The story's gonna take a dark turn from this chapter onwards and Chapter 14 will be extremely dark (so I'm warning u... there's a reason this is rated M) No flames!
And send all the cookies and cakes you can to Dragonborncrystal for her amazing work as beta! Without her this chapter wouldn't have the quality it does. And for any sections that lack quality are my fault entirely. Now imagine the whole thing with the same lack of quality... be forever grateful you don't see that monstrosity :D
Recap: and this time it's needed. Heero was molested by Derosia and Duo came in to the rescue in the process of which he got shot. After that Duo promised to never leave Duo with Derosia all alone and then he went and got his ass fired when he let Derosia know exactly what he thought of him. Heero got warned by Une that if he doesn't get a psychiatrists note stating that he is fit to work in a team environment then he is suspended indefinitely.
Now on with the story!
Chapter 12: Live and Learn
Posted on: March 10th 2007
I sighed as the warm water washed over me. I could feel the water chase the chills away as I tilted my head towards the showerhead and revelled in the velvet-like feel of running water on my face.
I had been feeling really cold lately and I didn't know why. Ever since that incident with Derosia…
I shivered unconsciously as my hands retraced the paths his hands had taken on my body for the millionth time.
I could still feel his finger dip into my belly button, his hand cupping my groin, his tongue on my ear.
I could feel everything with terrifying vividness and I felt cold because of it. My fingers were always chilled and goose bumps appeared all over my body frequently now. Too frequently.
I placed one hand on the cold tiled wall of the bathroom as I leaned forward; I had been increasingly dizzy as well.
I just feel so tired… so tired of… just tired.
I removed my hand from the wall leaving a small imprint on the wet wall. I watched droplets of water run through the imprint before the fine mist from the shower erased the mark.
I unconsciously traced the invisible outline of my hand as I submerged myself deeper into the thoughts that have been plaguing me.
It's been two days since I got suspended and Duo fired. But the reality of the situation is hitting me just now.
I will never get my job back unless I get that note from a psychiatrist. And I am not getting a note from a psychiatrist sitting at home pretending nothing is wrong.
And Duo's fired. Because of me. And I am responsible for fixing that.
I'm also responsible for breaking Duo's arm. He's hurt because I was stupid.
I curled my hand into a fist and punched the spot I had been retracing, my teeth clenched and eyes screwed shut. It's all my fault. This is the price Duo pays for being my friend.
Don't get me wrong. He hasn't said a word about it. If anything he's told me that he'd do it all over again if he had to.
But… he did it for me and it's my responsibility to get him his job back.
I smashed my head against the shower wall. I noted, absent minded, that the water was starting to chill and the goose bumps returned, although I have no idea if they were because of the water or my thoughts.
I'll have to go to a clinic won't I?
"Heero!" Duo yelled and I jumped, startled out of my thoughts and I snapped into action switching the shower off and snagging the towel off the towel rack. My heart thundered in my chest as I rapidly listed things I have done recently that would cause Duo to scream like that at me.
What if he wants me gone? I stilled in my act of scrambling out and wondered. I, for a split second, considered returning to the bathtub and switching the shower on again and hiding in there forever but immediately the more sensible part of my brain supplied how stupid that idea was.
"Heero!" My heart jumped again and I felt myself pale. Ripping the door open I rushed out.
Duo sounded pissed. Hell, not just pissed, murderous.
"What? What happened?" I stumbled into the living room trying to keep the towel around my waist by holding it with one hand since I didn't have much time to tie it properly.
I stood there in the living room soaking wet, my hair dripping onto my face and chest with a towel weakly held up my one hand.
I must have made a sorry picture but Duo wasn't laughing.
He was reading what looked like a card, his eyes large and glittering with rage.
"What happened Duo? What is that?" I asked gently hoping I'd soothe Duo out of his rage.
Please don't tell me to get out. It's cold outside I'll freeze.
Shut up. The Duo voice in my head snarled at me and I jumped surprised that a voice in my head could be so vicious towards me.
"That fucking Derosia is asking for it!"
I almost sagged in relief. It's not me he's angry at it's Derosia.
"I'm going to rip his balls off, bake them with a hint of paprika and feed them to the bastard!"
Admit it. That makes a funny picture. Imagine, Duo with one broken arm and Derosia… in one room… And Duo rips off Derosia's balls with one hand and that bastard does nothing. Then he suddenly wears a pink apron with the words 'kiss the cook' written on it and bakes them in an oven that appears out of nowhere, sprinkling paprika on them delicately, all the while Derosia is watching. Then he feeds him with a spoon and everything.
Funny, right? So you can forgive me for chuckling in a seemingly serious situation.
Sobering up when Duo glared at me I decided it was high time I found out what was in that card.
"What is that?" I enquired as I pulled the towel further up to my waist so as to prevent any accidents – damn short towel – I headed towards him.
"Derosia sent you flowers with a damn card to boot. Now he's courting you like a little princess." He spat at me.
That line slapped an image of me dressed as Relena and I shuddered.
I tried to sneak a peak at the card he was reading, probably rereading by now, and managed to pull it out of his hand.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of flowers sticking out of the garbage can. Well at least now I know what happened to the flowers.
"Dear Hee-chan." That bastard. No matter how many times I tell him not to call me that he still uses it. He knows that it pisses Duo off and he still uses it in a card he sent to me knowing that Duo will read it to. It's like he's trying to rile Duo up.
Oh.
He is, isn't he?
Duo came close to me and wrapped his left arm around my body pulling me into his chest not minding when my wet hair soaked his shirt.
"Remember, I won't ever leave you alone with him okay? So he can give you offer after offer but you have absolutely no need to accept. You hear me Hee-chan?" I sighed against his shoulder. What he said spiked my curiosity and I continued to read.
"My offer still stands. I can get you out of this. You, and your precious boyfriend as well. Meet me at my apartment anytime. P.S. Did you like the flowers?" I read out loud feeling emboldened by Duo's arms around me.
"That bastard." He tightened his arm around my chest. "Fucker thinks we're faggots."
All the warmth in my body fled at that comment and I was left chilled to the bone. Faggots? Is the idea of us being together that revolting for him?
I squirmed out of his grasp and took several steps away from him but Duo didn't seem to notice my evasion.
I'm just fooling myself aren't I? Duo hates gay people. What are the chances he could love me?
This is perfect isn't it? I fall for a guy who's a homophobe. And the one guy that's pursuing me is a scumbag.
I sneaked a glace at Duo. He had pulled the flowers from the garbage can and was now cutting up the flowers with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. He was using the elbow of his left hand to hold down the stalks while he sliced them using a knife.
Who am I kidding? One's a scumbag and other's a death god. From the freezer to the frying pan.
I glanced again at him and saw that now he was muttering something by himself and was ripping off the petals from the flowers letting them fall all around him making him look ethereal surrounded by soft petals.
He might hate me… but I don't think I could live without him.
Taking my eyes off him I went into the bedroom and sat down on my bed. Finally letting go of my towel to let my hand hang between my legs I pondered my situation.
I'm in love with a homophobe.
I felt all the hair on my arms and stomach stand as I felt colder again. I decided that I've been in a towel long enough. Even my hair was beginning to dry.
I pulled my towel off and fished around for pants. Hey, it's not like Duo likes guys or anything so I don't have to worry about him raping me or something. So what do I care if he sees me butt naked?
That's right. I don't. And if he does rape me then I'll be the happiest man alive. You can't rape the willing.
So what have I got to hide?
I put on some black sweat pants that I loved and Duo hated. He said that they did not give me any shape.
And I'm the gay one here.
I searched my closet for some sweaters. Pulling out a grey sweatshirt that had at one point belonged to Duo but had somehow migrated to my closet I donned it feeling warmer immediately.
I really should give up on Duo right? What are the chances? I might spend the rest of my life hoping that Duo would fall in love with me but I'll only end up miserable and alone.
Might as well… just… give up.
"Heero," He poked his head into the bedroom where I was wrapped up in soft, warm blankets with a lamp shining on the side and a nice book in my hands.
I was in heaven. And then Duo appeared.
"Hee-chan?" He asked again. I was determined to ignore him. I was in my safe haven and Duo tended to turn my world upside down. I needed this moment of tranquility.
"Heerooo!" Oh God, he did the Relena imitation. That's it, my tranquil bubble has burst.
"What is it?" I snapped at him and he grinned in response glad that he'd managed to make me pay attention to him.
"I'm going out for a bit and I'll be late so don't stay up okay?" Yeah sure, you've burst my bubble already so why not trample on it just to be sure.
"You're going drinking." I stated blankly. He, thankfully, had the decency to look sheepish.
"Look, I promise not to overdo it okay? I swear you won't have to drag me back or dunk me in cold water again." He came to sit next to me trying to make me feel better about his drinking.
"Why do you drink so much? Why not just stay home? Or if you want to go out then go out. Just don't drink when you're out." I looked straight into his eyes hoping I'll guilt him into staying.
"It's not just that… I have… it's… I can't explain it." He said running his fingers through his bangs – a sign that he's confused or frustrated, I don't know which.
"Do you have a designated driver?" I asked. I knew he wasn't going to listen to me and not go drinking so let's just make sure he's as safe as he can get.
He looked away from me and I felt anger bubble in my stomach.
"You were planning on driving drunk." I stated coldly feeling that chill reappear and chase away the warmth in my body.
"NO! I'm not going to kill people just coz I don't have a designated driver!" He exclaimed but still refused to make eye contact.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I silently hoped he'd say yes. I didn't want to stay here all night worrying about him.
But at the same time, I abhor the places he visits and think it's best if I stay away from them.
Duo's more important than my own comforts and discomforts. I'll bear an evening of getting squashed by strangers if it meant that Duo would be safe.
"I'll come with you if you just need a designated driver." I offered again when Duo took too long.
"NO!" Okay… just trying to be nice here. It's a great feeling to know that you're not wanted. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. If you didn't realise it I'm being sarcastic.
I abandoned my book letting it fall to the ground as I sat up leaning towards him trying to get him to talk to me.
"What's going on Duo?" I asked softly, deciding that being judgemental right now won't exactly work.
"I… I… It's just… Hee-chan…" He struggled.
"Duo?" He finally made eye contact with me. "You can tell me anything okay?"
I saw the emotions flicker across his face: confusion, embarrassment and nervousness. What is he thinking?
Then he looked at me, determination shining in his eyes.
"I wasn't planning on coming home tonight." He said tightly. What? Why?
"What do you…" Oh… It hit me a little late but it hit me.
He's going to go to some sleazy love hotel with someone he'll pick up in the club or bar or whatever place he's planning on going to and spend the night there.
With her.
THAT BITCH!
Remember that little bubble of anger in my stomach? Well it's starting to blow up. And along with it came… jealousy.
Now I'm not usually a jealous man but the images of him on the couch in the living room with that whore sitting on top of him flashed through my mind and I burned.
Lots of jealousy. Lots and lots of jealousy.
I burned with the need to kill that bitch.
And the one he's going to go out with tonight.
"I… see…" I said tightly.
"So… yeah… don't wait up…" He finished weakly.
"Don't worry. I won't." I answered and then pretended to go back to my book.
He lingered on my bed for a little while longer and I don't know why. It's not like he cares what I think. If he did then he wouldn't be going anyway. He knows how I feel about him drinking. He knows I don't particularly like him sleeping around.
Well I never talked to him about that, but I sure as hell made it very clear.
"You know… I haven't brought a girl into the house since you walked in on us." He was looking determinedly at the white wall across from him.
"Oh? Thank you so much." I said sarcastically. What? I don't handle jealousy very well.
"You don't have to be such a jerk about it." He said flashing me an angry look.
"I believe I just thanked you for thinking about me when you go about on your excursions. I don't see how I have been a jerk at all." Just read the book. Don't think. Read.
Damn it I can't concentrate.
"Damn it Heero I have needs alright? I need to… to…Ugh!" Why the hell is he so frustrated? Go… go on… shoo… go to your little whore.
Of course if only he were not a homophobe I'd let him be with me instead of some disease infested disgusting whore.
I felt myself feeling anger and jealously simultaneously. I was angry enough to not care anymore and yet jealous enough to want to tie Duo to the bed and lock the doors.
Then have my way with him. But let's not dwell on that.
"I don't care about your fucking needs alright Maxwell? I don't even know why we're having this conversation. Go fuck whomever you want. I just want to read." I said perhaps more viciously than I had planned but I can't take it back now, can I?
He looked momentarily stunned at my outburst and then I saw his eyes narrow and darken with anger and maybe frustration.
"You do realise that this is happening because of you right?" He said probably feeling the need to strike me like I did to him as he got up to start pacing back on forth in front of my bed.
Oh right that's completely fair. Attack me where I feel the most.
"Oh? Enlighten me." I sneered at him feeling my heart sink with the guilt.
"If you hadn't been such a damn pussy I wouldn't have had to defend you from Derosia and get my ass fired! And if I was working I'd have something to take my mind off of… stuff."
Stuff? STUFF?? As far as I remember he wasn't exactly celibate while he was working! Not to mention I never asked for his help!
"I don't remember running into your arms crying for help." I spat at him hoping he'd just leave me alone.
"And I don't particularly remember you doing a very good job of defending yourself from Derosia! What were you expecting? 'If I ignore him he'll go away?'"
"That's not what I thought!" I exclaimed. To be honest though, I don't know what I was thinking letting him touch me like that. I don't know why I froze up.
"Then tell me what the hell went so wrong with you that you couldn't use any of your steel bending skills to fend off One. Stupid. Man!" He roared in my face and for some reason I felt that strange blackness creeping back into my vision.
Shut up! Shut up!
SHUT UP! The Duo voice in my head yelled and a pulsing pain bloomed between my eyes making me dizzy.
"Get away from me." I said in a trembling voice and then got out of bed and headed to the washroom where I proceeded to lock myself inside until I heard his footsteps head towards the front door and the door slam shut.
Five minutes later I felt exhaustion set in and I went straight to bed, sleeping a restless sleep in which I constantly felt the emptiness of the bed next to mine.
I was preparing some pasta when the doorbell rang. Duo was in the shower and I could hear him singing in a loud and deliberately out of tune voice.
How do I know that it was deliberate?
Because I know that Duo has a great singing voice. He never sings if he knows you're listening but when I happened to come across him singing softly to himself when he thought no one was listening…
He has a great voice, let's just leave it at that.
So the doorbell rang and I huffed. The pasta was at the point where it needed to be drained now or it would be too soft and I didn't know whether I wanted to sacrifice the pasta or lose whoever was at the door.
The doorbell rang again and was accompanied by persistent knocking.
Well that decided it.
I switched the stove off and put the pot of boiling water on the counter hoping that it would cool down enough and to stop overcooking the pasta.
Feeling annoyed with the person at the door even before finding out who it was I opened the door.
My annoyance deflated when I saw Relena. In its place came quiet resignation.
"Hello Relena." I said in a deadpan voice hoping she would feel so unwelcome that she would leave. I also made sure the door was only open enough that she could not come in and I blocked her way.
"Hello Heero." She said with a wide smile. She was wearing a yellow dress for once and had a white purse and white boots on.
I leaned a little outside to take a look at who was accompanying her.
She was alone.
"Relena?" I asked her in a monotone voice.
"Yes Heero?" She said her eyes sparkling and her smile growing wider.
"Where are your bodyguards?"
"Oh I told them I had to go to the washroom and then I slipped out the window!" She said obviously proud of herself.
I couldn't believe it. That idiot is the 'Queen of the World'?
"Do you want to be killed?" I asked her incredulously.
"Oh don't be silly Heero. No one wants to kill me. They'll just kidnap me and then you'll come to save me right?"
As I stared open mouthed at her stupidity she took my moment of weakness and pushed the door open inviting herself in.
I wasn't really dressed for visitors so I immediately felt underdressed around her. I was in a pair of loose black sweats and a navy tank, which was also fairly loose.
I liked my comfort thank you very much. Duo was the one that preferred looks to comfort.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her as I started moving around the apartment closing curtains and locking the door. I don't want to take any chances that someone following her will try to shoot her through the window.
I also grabbed my gun and stuffed it down the front of my pants cringing when the cold metal came in contact with my sensitive skin.
Fine! I wasn't wearing any underwear but no one has to know that!
"I was here to make you an offer." She said as she made herself comfortable on the couch.
I smirked. Imagine her face if she found out Duo had sex on that couch!
She seemed a little unsettled when I smirked but then her answer struck me.
Offer? What about?
"What are you talking about?" I asked her as I crossed me arms and leaned against the wall facing the couch.
Absently I noted that the water in the shower had stopped running.
Apparently Relena noticed the presence of the shower after it had stopped.
"You're not alone?" She asked with something akin to jealousy flashing in her eyes.
Of course I'm not alone! What is wrong with her? I live with Duo!
I walked over to her and kneeled in front of her, placing my one hand on her right and with the other I checked her temperature.
Mind you I was being sarcastic. But from the look on her face I think she took it as a form of affection.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her.
"Hmm…" She answered dreamily.
"So you're just always this stupid huh?" Duo's voice floated from the doorway and I turned to look at him.
Apparently Relena wasn't the only one who mistook it for affection. Duo looked very, very angry.
And delicious… he had his hair down and he was dripping all over the living room carpet but I didn't care because he was only in a towel…
While Duo was glaring at Relena I took time to shamelessly stare at his exposed chest and the towel dipping down his waist exposing the sharp angles of his hipbones.
"What are you doing here?" Relena asked acidly.
I wondered again. Is Relena really that stupid?
"We live together." Duo said as though talking to a two-year old and gestured towards me with one hand while the left held onto his right elbow to steady it.
His arm's been healing steadily but apparently letting it hang by his side made it hurt a lot. So these days, although he had removed the plaster one night, he puts it in a sling.
"I know that!" She spat at him. "I thought you'd be at work!"
"Ah! So you figured let's go meet Heero while Duo's gone and play hooky?"
"Duo-" I tried to interrupt.
"Why the hell are you here anyway? You're always around to pick on me and drive me and Heero apart!"
"Relena-" I tried to talk some sense into her but I was ignored when Duo retaliated.
"But don't you get it little princess? Heero doesn't love you! He loves someone else!" He said with glee.
"Duo!" I barked at him and this time he looked at me apologetically.
"Heero?" Came Relena's teary voice from behind me. "Is that true? You don't love me anymore?"
Uh… anymore? Where did the anymore come from?
"I never loved you Relena."
"And there's someone else?" She asked glaring hatefully at me.
"Yes." I answered looking directly in her eyes.
"Who is this someone?" She sounded so angry. I can guess what was going through her mind. She will find out who I liked and then pull some strings so that I'll never see her, or him in this case, again.
"I can't tell you that."
I saw her raise her hand and then slap me. It didn't hurt but I got really, really pissed.
Are women really this irrational? Why do they keep slapping me when I do nothing wrong?
"So you won't even tell me who the bitch is that stole you from me?!"
"Nobody stole me from you! I was never yours to begin with!" I moved away from her worried that she'll slap me again. I moved to stand beside Duo hoping that her woman's intuition, if there was such a thing, will let her know that I was in love with Duo…
I should have known subtlety doesn't work with Relena.
Duo moved closer to me and put one hand on the small of my back. I felt shivers run through my spine through the contact and I broke out in goosebumps… the good kind.
God I want to just throw him down and…
Well…
I felt my cheeks burning and I looked down trying to hide my face with my bangs.
Stupid body! Blushing in front of Relena!
"Well let me at least change your mind." At the change of tone I looked up surprised. Relena was walking towards me with this odd swaying of her hips that made her look like walking was painful for her and she batted her eyelashes at me.
Ugh.
While I was in shock Duo hugged me from behind, his chest against my back, and his arms came around my waist to hold me protectively.
He rested his chin on my shoulder and then whispered into my ear, "She's trying to seduce you."
The hot breath on my ear made fire race through my body and case my fingers and toes to tingle while at the same time my body broke out in goosebumps.
Oh god no… I felt myself start to harden in response to the contact with Duo. I paled when I realised that Relena, or worse Duo, could notice my little problem that was becoming not so little rapidly.
Unfortunately Duo did notice.
"Back off Relena!" He snarled as he pulled me by my arm and stood in front of me staring down Relena.
"Heero wants me and you know that! Now move!" She screamed at him and tried to push him away but he was too strong for her and refused to move.
"This is my house and I want you gone. Get out." Wow. That was cold.
"It's Heero's house too and he wants me here!"
"Get out Relena." I said from behind Duo and I saw her eyes widen and her mouth open and close in disbelief.
"But I saw you Heero! Don't listen to Duo! You want me I know it! And Duo knows it too and he wants to take you away from me!"
"Listen to yourself you're hysterical!" Duo laughed in her face, which made her angrier.
"And you're delusional! I saw Heero reacted to me and you did too!"
"You don't know that it was you! It could've been anything!"
"Well we all know he's not attracted to you!" She spat at him, "And I'm the only one here otherwise!"
"He's NOT attracted to YOU!" Duo screamed at her.
Well these two have effectively killed whatever was there of my pathetic erection.
"Heero!" Relena called for me and I shrank from her high-pitched whiny voice.
"Heero!" Duo turned around to face me.
"Tell her you're not attracted to her!" "Tell him you want me!"
They both said at the same time and then they both glared at each other looking ready to kill.
"Relena" I growled, "Get. Out."
She looked miserable but at the same time she looked determined too.
"I'll call you later Heero!" She said with fake cheer and left, closing the door behind her.
Thank god she left.
I had only a moment of relief before Duo grabbed my hand and whipped me around so that I was facing him. Then he started pushing me back with one hand on my chest as he glared menacingly at me.
Eventually the back of my knees hit the couch and I sat down when I lost my balance. Duo continued to stalk me and then leaned over me.
"What is wrong with you?" He hissed at me.
"What are you talking about?" I was extremely glad my voice didn't come out shaking.
"How can you possibly be attracted to her?"
"I'm not." I said as calmly as I could but I was having trouble not reacting to his proximity… again. Damn hormones! Sometimes they're harder to control than others!
"Then what gave you that stupid erection?!" I blushed at his bluntness.
"Not Relena." I breathed and hoped he hadn't heard me.
Gods were against me today because he heard me.
"Then who…" Realization sparked in his eyes and he stumbled back. "You can't… You're not…"
I looked away from him. I couldn't see the disgust and anger that is probably going to be there.
"You're a fag?" He asked doubtfully.
I didn't answer.
"You CAN'T be!" He exclaimed. I still didn't say anything.
He was quiet for a moment.
"It makes sense doesn't it?" He started pacing back and forth, "You don't go out with girls. You're not even remotely interested in them! You always spend more time hanging around guys and… me…"
I still didn't look at him making sure my eyes stayed glued to the wall.
"Get out Yuy."
I looked at him surprised when he call me by my last name.
"Get. Out. NOW!" He yelled at me and I jumped up but didn't want to move. I hoped against all odds that something will happen and everything will be all right.
"You bastard! How long? How long have you been… God I ran around you shirtless and I changed in front of you and I…"
He walked over to me and then punched me hard. My head whipped to the side and I felt pain blooming in the side of my face as I fell down.
"Duo please listen to me…" I asked of him but he looked murderous. I don't think he'd hear anything I said right now.
"You fucking bastard!!" He screamed at me and pulled me up by my hair. I couldn't help the small whimper that escaped me when I felt my hair rip out by the root.
"And I lost my job saving you from that… that… and you probably liked what he was doing to you didn't you? You probably shot me coz I interrupted right?!
"Get out Heero. NOW!"
I stumbled onto my feet and ran out of the apartment feeling the door bang close behind me.
I felt like my life just got over as I walked away from my best friend.
A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... now how many people are glad this is a double update?? Hmmmmmmmmm????? Now go on you and click that button!
