A/N: I am so sorry this is late getting out. Went out of town with Penquinn to Sedona.
Thankfully she did help me with some ideas for this chapter, since I let her read the first draft.
She was also lucky to be privy to what will happen for the rest of the story. So don't hate her.
I will try and work on more chapters for next weekend. Thank you for reading!
I do not own anything related to the Twilight Series.
Chapter 12
Monday
7:00am – EPOV
My alarm clock went off and just like yesterday, I woke happily, and looking forward to a majority of my day with some excitement. I was still nervous about meeting with the board members, but I quickly pushed all thoughts of that aside and began my morning routine to get ready.
After reliving myself and brushing my teeth, I took a quick shower, not even waiting to be completely rinsed of the suds before turning the water off. I was in such a rush to be done. I toweled myself dry and made my way to my dresser to pick up a pair of clean boxers and slid them on. I now stood in front of my closet and for the first time in my life I drew a blank on what to wear. I usually just took any suit that happened to clean and was the least wrinkled. Today was different. I felt like I needed to make a good impression, and lied to myself that I wanted to impress the board, and absolutely no one else.
Finally after a couple of minutes staring into the void of the closet, I took out the dark brown three-piece suit I hadn't worn in many years. In the past, my mother used to tell me I looked "quite dapper" when I wore it, and I do admit, it had its own classic charm. I placed it on the bed then went to retrieve a crisp white collared shirt, my brown leather belt and dark blue neck tie.
I dressed and I was soon back in the bathroom doing my best to tame my unruly hair with little success. When I was somewhat pleased, I took a moment to look over my suit once more to make sure I looked fine. Suddenly, I realized the color of the vest I wore reminded me of the color I saw when I looked into her eyes and at that moment, I couldn't breathe.
I thought I was having an attack. I shut my eyes and meditated on my place of serenity. I saw the black, the void, but instead of the darkness of space I was so used to seeing, a heavenly glow appeared and my own personal angel filled my serenity. Her doe eyes looking at me under her eyelashes and her hair was swirling around her face with the force of a light wind. I shook my head to clear my mind; she was invading my serenity, though she was so beautiful, I was more shaken then before. I saw my bottle of Xanex on the counter. Dr. Liam said I needed to keep taking them, and today was not the day to forget. I popped the lid off, took one of the pills, then slipped the bottle in the pocket of my vest; I would need it for later.
I left the bathroom, picking up my wallet, cell phone, the lunch orders, and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. My calm and excitement I felt when I first woke up was now starting to subside and my nerves were beginning to show. I skipped my usual quick breakfast and decided to get an early start to campus. Why put off the inevitable? Rushing out, I grabbed my briefcase in the hall and my keys before I made my way through the front door and locked it behind me.
"Here we go. It's going to be fine." I reassured myself.
I had no recollection of the drive from my townhouse to campus because the only thing I remember is I put my keys in the ignition and then I was immediately making my way to my office. I made it there in record time before 8am. As I reached the front doors of the building, I fought the urge to look behind me at the residence hall
8:00am – BPOV
My alarm went off and my heart nearly popped out of my chest.
"Jesus Fucking Christ!" I swatted at the screeching to put it on snooze and then fell back to sleep. Ten minutes later it went off again and I turned the bloody thing off.
Rolling over, I hugged one of my pillows close to body and sighed defeated. It was Monday and I needed to get up. I didn't even bother making my bed when I got out, I figured I could catch a nap sometime later today.
I pulled an old Forks High sweatshirt over my head and changed from my pajama shorts into a pair of jeans. At lunch yesterday Alice said that it wasn't necessary to dress for the RA meetings, she was planning on showing up in a velour track suit anyways.
After I brushed my teeth and combed my hair back into a pony tail, I had a few minutes to check my email again and munch on a cold pop tart. I unwrapped the silver package while I waited for my inbox to load.
There wasn't too much in there to get excited about. A couple more spam emails, some even about enlarging the size of the male anatomy, and another email from Jake. He told me about this man who came in to his shop yesterday to get his car repaired after a crazy ex-girlfriend scratched several expletives into his paint job and shredded the car's leather interior. I laughed when I read that Jake wrote he was glad we ended out romantic relationship on good terms so he wouldn't have to expect that from me. Though he pissed me off and left me frustrated sometimes, I would never have done anything that extreme.
I wrote Jake a quick reply back, telling him about shopping with Alice yesterday, how I had a busy today and was looking forward to seeing the research team and was going to try and make a better impression with Dr. Cullen today. Hopefully the absence of alcohol would leave me a bit more coordinated than Saturday night.
It was time to meet up with Alice in order to head over together for the RA meeting. I finished my breakfast, took a pen and one of my new notebooks to write on and locked up my room. As I walked through the lobby I noticed it was empty and dark this morning since all the resident advisors that were here would be attending the meeting. I made my way to the front door and down the steps.
"Bella! Ooo Bella!" Alice was running from her hall to meet me as soon as I cleared the last step from my hall. She looked like a small bumble bee in her yellow velour outfit and her coal black spiky hair. If I was so tired I would have laughed.
"Morning Alice. Do you have any other setting then hyper?" I asked.
"Morning to you, Miss Oscar the Grouch." She laughed and bounced her way closer to me.
"Yeah, well, it's almost 7:00am right now where I'm from and I usually don't get up until 8:00am there. Still not used to the whole time zone change thing, but I'll get there and hopefully before the semester starts." I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head; my ears were a little chilly this morning.
The RA meeting was to be held in one of the conference rooms of the central campus union, so I followed Alice's lead on the walk over. When we crossed the street to the other side of the road, I snuck a peek at the building we were passing, it was beautiful like all the other ones on campus and rather large but something about it piqued my interest.
"Alice, what building is that?" I pointed as we continued to walk.
"That's the Behavioral Science Building. That's where our lab is for the research."
I was living right next to the building I would be spending a majority of my waking hours at. That was a relief, at least I didn't have far to go, especially if I needed to work late with research or with my thesis. It was also a bit overwhelming to know that the world's most attractive man worked three hundred feet away from where I slept.
We arrived at the union and found the conference room. It was pretty full in the room today because every RA on campus was here for the introduction meeting. When Alice and I checked in we were told that all other meetings in the year would be smaller, and usually only consisting of two to three halls combined at the most.
I scanned the room to look for a free spot for the two of us to sit. I saw some near the front, but that Tanya girl was next to them so I nixed that area and contemplated just standing against the wall when I finally saw some chairs off to the back and left of the room. I grabbed Alice and drug her over to them, with her chuckling all the way.
"Sorry, I just wanted to make sure we got these before we would be forced to sit with that girl Tanya. She was quite rude when I moved in."
"It's ok Bella, I was about to do the same. I don't think many people care for her. She thrives off being a mega bitch to people." I laughed as we sat down and noticed the conversations everyone was having were quieting.
Right then the Director of my hall, Marcus, introduced himself and began the meetings. I opened my blank notebook and began taking notes while my mind started counting off the time.
Only three hours left until I would probably make a fool of myself in front of Dr. Cullen... again.
9:00am – EPOV
I had spent a majority of the hour before my meeting with the board of trustees going over my notes for my presentation. I was still nervous, but not as much as before, I could feel my medicine working its way through my brain. My stomach wasn't doing flip flops so much anymore as it was more or less vibrating with anticipation. It was time to for the meeting to begin.
There was a rapt at my door as I was slipping my coat back on and buttoning it up in order to leave. I opened the door to see my father waiting for me.
"Good morning Dr. Cullen." He nodded his head in greeting.
"Good morning to you too Dr. Cullen." I shut the door when I entered the hallway.
"Are you ready for the presentation?"
"As good as I will ever be, I guess. I know I should be used to giving it by now, but I still get a bit anxious."
"Everything will be fine. You took you medicine today right?"
I nodded.
"Just remember to breathe and know that everyone on that room respects you and the work you do, especially me."
"I know, I know." I picked my head up and gave a slight smile that I felt to be false, but my father nether the less smiled back in response. We reached the end of the hallway where the Behavioral Science Meeting room was located. "Here goes nothing." I opened the door for my father and followed him in.
Seven seats were occupied around the table. Seven people I had to convince to give me and my team money for the research this year. I knew almost everyone for the last four years, but it never made asking for money easier. Taking a deep breath, I readied myself and began my prepared speech.
"Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the board. I hope I find you all well today." A good start, maybe a bit too formal, but I continued and just dove into what I prepared for today.
"I want to say thank you for meeting to discuss the budget for my research…"
I did my best, and I stayed mostly calm and collected throughout my presentation. There were a few questions that were asked but thankfully I was prepared and had my answers down. Every once in a while I would look over to my father who sat on the far right end of the table. When he caught me looking he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sent me a quick smirk to reassure me I was doing just fine.
As I was wrapping up my presentation I had a good feeling that we could afford the new EEG machine we were in need of for this year when all of this was over.
10:00am – BPOV
After introductions of all the residence halls and their directors and letting us know some important dates to mark on our calendars, they made the resident advisors play some get-to-know you games which were fun, but left my feeling a bit awkward and sort of out of place. A lot of the other people in the room were more outgoing than me. A lot of them kept telling me to speak up every now and then. Alice tried her best to stay by my side when it wasn't required for us to move around. Sometimes the game would become a bit personal, especially at one point when I was asked about my mother. I had taken a long pause to think of an answer that could change the topic, and I felt Alice's small hand take mine.
"It's ok Bella; you don't need to share anything you don't want to." She whispered and I nodded to hold my tears that were welling up at bay. Thankfully the game session ended and the directors got into the important matters with the halls.
There sure was a lot involved with being a resident advisor. More than I thought there would have been. Decorating name tags for our residents, working the front desk, running monthly hall activities, monitoring study hours and participating in training for crisis intervention, CPR and much more throughout the year. For the next two weeks we were supposed to do our preliminary training with our halls to get ready for students to arrive for the start of the school year. Since I was in an upper classmen hall, I wouldn't be required a lot of the extra work freshmen hall advisors had.
Before the meeting was over, Marcus gave me my key for the Hammond office and front desk along with the activities closet key, just as Tonya had told me. Once I had the keys on my key ring, he informed me that there would be a quick mixer for our hall tonight so we could get to know the other RAs in a bit better since we would start working tomorrow when we began our training. I feigned my excitement for that and told him I was looking forward to it. I knew better then to expect alcohol to be served there which would make the situation less uncomfortable.
The meeting ended a bit earlier than everyone had expected which left me plenty time to get back to my room to shower and get dressed for the research team meeting. I kept my head down as Alice and I walked to the doors of the union and I felt a jolt of electricity go through me as we exited the building which I associated that with my nerves for later.
I lost myself in thoughts about the research meeting, the questions about my mother from the RA meeting but more than anything else, Edward Cullen and his piercing eyes judging me while holding me captive with his gaze. I remembered his bronze hair in disarray and I longed to run my hand through it and his delicious crooked smile that made me melt. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going when I bumped into Alice, who had stopped ahead of me and was waiting for me to snap out of my daydream.
"Oh! I'm sorry Alice, I wasn't paying attention. Sorry."
"It's ok, penny for your thoughts? You looked like you were need in there for a while. Is it about that thing with your mom? You don't have to tell about her, but just let me know what's going on."
We stood there on the walk and she took my hand in a friendly hold and waited for my response.
"It's nothing, just… I'm ready for our next meeting to be done and over with. I don't think I could stand being in there knowing Dr. Cullen thinks how much of a clumsy idiot I am." I shrugged and looked down at the sidewalk.
"He's not going to think that. You are a smart and brilliant woman. If you weren't, do you really think they would have given you the fellowship? I mean come on!"
I tried to smile but I felt it didn't reach my eyes and I knew Alice wouldn't believe it.
"Ok, try this; I'm sure it will make it easier for you. If you feel intimidated with Dr. Cullen or if you start to worry he is judging you, just picture him clothed only in a pair of boxers." That was the worst idea she could have given me.
"Thanks Alice, but I don't think I could do that."
"Well, it was a thought."
We started walking again and I told Alice I would see her in a little to meet up in front of the Behavioral Science building to head up to the lab together. When we crossed the street we both took off for our respective halls.
As soon as I was back into my room, I felt my stomach pull from the nerves of my next meeting. I wanted to make sure I got through it without injuring my pride, any important limb or anyone else's for that matter. I tended to be clumsier when my level of stress increased and at the moment I was wavering between a level nine and level ten.
"Arg!" I yanked my hair tie out and shook my hair in frustration.
I quickly undressed and hopped in to my small shower to distract myself. When I finished, I still felt a little tired from my early morning, so after I laid out my outfit I was planning to wear, I set the alarm on my cell phone for twenty minutes and decided to take a quick nap.
Maybe my nerves would die down with some rest.
11:00am – EPOV
I was shocked when my meeting with the board concluded. I knew I had done pretty well, but not so much that they granted my research a $300,000 budget. That was more than I had originally anticipated but I didn't complain. We would be able to afford the new EEG machine, replenish our supplies needed for our initial evaluations and finally compensate a greater number of participants who made it to our final round of research. The other plus was that any leftover amount could be rolled over to the following year.
My father came up to me afterwards and patted me softly on the back so not to make me jump.
"You and your team deserve it, Edward. You all work hard and it's well worth the investment."
"Thank you Carlisle. It will defiantly be put to good use." I couldn't wait to tell Ben and Angela the news later today.
"Just promise me that I can test out your new EEG unit when it arrives."
I chucked. "Sure thing, though Angela may fight you for that honor."
"Age before beauty, remember that Edward." He gave me a wink.
My father and I walked over to the central union for the faculty brunch being held in one of the smaller lunch rooms. I felt a buzz of energy go through me as we passed people that were exiting the building after a meeting that was held in the large conference room had concluded.
I wasn't hungry still, so when entered the lunch room and just helped myself to a regular coffee, taking my usual post against the wall in the back and counted the minutes. I watched everyone else mingle with each other, discussing additions to their syllabi and how they were going to change the format for their finals because last year's were too easy for the students. The atmosphere today felt as daunting as my parent's dinners usually did, but at least I could use an excuse that was appropriate so I could leave the brunch early.
A couple of professors from the psychology department stopped by me to ask about my conferences I spoke at during the summer and of course to ask me to pass on their congratulations to Ben and Angela. Word of their quickie wedding had spread quicker through the faculty and staff than any other piece of gossip in the past.
When I felt I put in enough time, I informed my father, who was trapped by Jane and Alec in one of their uneasy anecdotes, that I was leaving to get ready to meet with my team. He understood I was done with the brunch and I told him I would call him later tonight to let him know how everything went.
I made it outside and the weather was quite wonderful today, a little bit chilly, but still sunny with some clouds. The walk back to my office was quick and I decided to get started and run off copies of the packets I made for this year's research focus. I also made sure my PowerPoint presentation that coincided with it was in order and that it was void of any spelling or grammatical errors. What a way to present yourself on the first day when you can't spell a simple work such as dopamine or serotonin correctly.
It was around 11:30am when I picked up my office phone to call Bella Italia Restaurant to place the lunch order for a 1:00pm delivery. Once I was done putting in everyone's choice, along with my plate of mushroom ravioli, a family serving or tiramisu and two dozen breadsticks, I gathered all the papers and my briefcase and made my way to the stairwell.
I preferred to take stairs when at all possible so I could avoid being in close proximity to a lot of people, especially when there could be a chance of you being unexpectedly stuck in that space for an extended amount of time for any sort of reason.
I made it half way up the stair well to the second floor when I started to feel somewhat lightheaded and out of air. I sat myself down quickly before I lost my balance and forced myself to take deep breaths since I could feel one of my attacks coming on. I should have been feeling this way before or during the board meeting, which was now confusing me as I sweated buckets and leaned against the wall for support. I had no clue why I felt this way, probably just a delayed reaction. I took the bottle of pills out of my vest pocket and swallowed one down. That should provide some help and I waited for about five minutes for it to kick in.
"Not today, please not right now." I chanted to myself, I couldn't lose it on the first day and disappoint her. I didn't want her to see me as weak.
Why did I care what she thought? I really shouldn't. There's nothing I could do, I mean she probably wouldn't like me anyways, which would be best for her anyways. I was too fucked up for anyone to love.
Wait.
Did I want her to love me? No, that's ridiculous. I don't know anything about her, really. Besides if anything did happen between us, I'd ruin it… or something would happen to her like Irina, and I'd be lost forever this time.
I needed to not think this way. I had an important meeting to attend. I would be professional. No shenanigans from anyone, not even from myself.
Finally I was able to gain some composure and my breathing became less labored and slowed. My sweating stopped and I took a handkerchief from my coat pocket and patted my forehead. I gathered my papers and briefcase then I picked myself up and continued my climb to the second floor.
When I had left my office, I was on track to make it early to the meeting, and would have had enough time to talk to the Cheney's about the good news for all of us. But with what happened in the stairwell a few moments ago, I was lucky to just be making it in time. I was known for being a stickler for punctuality and would get the "look" from Ben if I were late.
I pushed myself through the door and rushed to the direction of the lab, trying to make sure I wasn't going to drop all my lose papers I was carefully holding because it would be a pain to reorganize all of them. I was so focused on the papers that I missed hearing the sound of the elevator ding open as I began to pass it.
11:40am – BPOV
"Oh my God, this isn't happening!" I slammed my phone down on my nightstand. I was going to be late for the meeting.
"Fuck!"
I was supposed to only take a twenty minute nap which escalated itself to just around forty minutes since I slept through my cell phone alarm going off… twice. This left me with little time to get dressed and across the street to the second floor of the Behavioral Science building.
So much for making a good second impression. God hated me.
I quickly dressed myself, taking a spill after my right leg got stuck in a pant leg.
"Shit!" I was going to have a bruise there in an hour.
My fingers fumbled when I tried to button my collared shirt and slipped my feet into my shoes.
I brushed my hair as quick as I could, I pulled a few hairs out in the process but I was able to put it up into a loose bun that was semi decent. I took the notebook I prepared for this meeting, and snatched my purse and cell as I ran out the door. I didn't feel like waiting for the elevator so I ran down my flight of stairs and out the hall as quickly as I could. I was thankful that I wore flats; I would have had to call the hospital if I chose heels, for some unknown reason.
I saw Alice wasn't waiting for me outside the building, so I knew she had already up to the lab, I thought she could have at least waited because I had no clue where the lab was except that is was on the second floor, according to the room number. Maybe she was running late to. I hope that was the case.
When I made it to the department building I was thrown off with the numbering for the rooms. The order didn't seem to make sense. Eventually I found a door that indicated it was the main office and entered it quickly. I saw an older woman sitting behind the front desk. Hopefully she could help me find the lab.
"I'm Bella Swan. I'm running late for a meeting with Dr. Cullen's research team. Can you tell me how to get to the lab?" I practically yelled out my question.
"Oh Dear, yes. Ok, you need to go straight out the door here and take the elevator up to the second floor. When you step out, take a right. It will be the fourth door on the right, and hurry. Dr. Cullen doesn't like to start things late. He sort of likes to keep to a schedule."
Wonderful. "Thank you." I called back as I booked it from the room.
The elevator took forever to reach the ground floor. When it opened I ran in and quickly pressed the button for the second floor and then the button to close the doors faster. It was taking forever to close and I pressed it again . I tapped my toe and bit my lip hard as I waited for the slow elevator to reach my destination.
"Come on, come on, move damn it!."
Finally the light flickered on the number two indicating our arrival and the door dinged as it opened. I had less than a minute to make it to the room and I ran out into the hall and took a right when I suddenly crashed into someone I hadn't seen that was passing the elevator as I ran out.
"Jesus Christ!" the man exclaimed in a panic as papers flew everywhere in the hallway and a thud of briefcase hit the floor. Instantly I recognized the voice and my stomach churned and my face flushed with embarrassment.
"Kill me now."
11:59am – EPOV
As soon as the doors opened of the elevator something solid ran into me knocking me off my feet to the ground and I dropped all the papers I was holding. I hit my head hard, and I probably had a concussion now after two hits to the back of the head in three days. I saw the swirling of my outlines I copied in the air and the crinkling of the paper as they scatter all around the floor. I was furious.
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled. It would take forever to reorganize them.
I heard a sharp intake of breath from the person that ran into me who was on the floor as well. I never liked confrontation but I had the urge to lay one into this moron that took me out. As soon as they spoke though, all my anger and panic dissipated.
"Kill me now." Bella's soft voice cried from embarrassment next to me on the floor. I could hear her choke back a sob and my heart wrenched for the girl.
Ok, I swear the next chapter will be the meeting. Hopefully I'll have both POV's done for next weekend.
Please keep reading and reviewing. Also keep sending in questions, I will answer them.
