Sorry it took me so long to update! I was so busy this week! But here is the new chapter. It's a lot longer and definitely has a side of Max that is going to be revealed. And I'd like to thank Dally's TwiSider for helping me write this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy and maybe you will shed some tears? I tried to make it emotional at some parts, but I'm not sure if I did my job well enough. Comment and tel me if I did! Keep reading! Stay gold!
For the next few days in the hospital, all of the gang had visited me one-on-one, except for Soda and Dally. Soda only came in the first time I woke up, but Dally came in whenever three of the other guys came in with him. He would never come alone. It made me sad knowing he wouldn't approach me. Maybe it was shock? But I wasn't sure, it just didn't sit well with me. Steve would visit me everyday. Most of the time he would try to get my mind off of my parents, because he was the only person who knew what happened, or he and I would just sit quietly and enjoy each others company. Sometimes he would even spend the night which really helped, but it didn't when I was alone.
Whenever I was lonesome, I would think about my parents and my grandma; how they all died. Once again, I was slowly slipping back into depression; even more when I was thinking about my bunny and that one day when I was nine. It was as if those were my only memories.
Feeling the scratchiness from my sheets and the warmth beside me, I remembered that Steve had stayed over the night with me again. Noticing my head going up and down, I knew that I was lying on Steve's chest, just like every night. His arm was wrapped around my waist protectively. I think he knew that he wasn't protecting me from people, but from myself. I needed saving from myself and Steve was helping overcome that feeling. As I laid contently, I felt Steve stirring underneath me, indicating that he was waking up. Looking up at him, I saw his greenish eyes blink open and a smile appear on his face when I was within his eyesight.
"Mornin' doll face," He spoke sweetly and kissed my forehead. I wish that this would be the first thing I would wake up to every morning, for the rest of my life. Steve's face, a kiss on the head, in his arms and having his voice being the first thing I hear.
"Hi," I said innocently, as my stomach grumbled. While shushing it, I got a laugh out of Steve, which put a smile on my face.
"Want me to get ya some food from the caf?" Steve asked. I wasn't eating much all week, but when my stomach fiercely growled like that, he would get me some food. "I don' care what ya say, I'm gettin ya some," He said knowing that I had no choice. Sighing in defeat, he inched himself out of bed and out the door.
After Steve dropped my food off, he said that he had to get to work at the DX. He kissed my forehead and whisked away. I sat in silence until night. I knew it was night, because of the darkness outside. While I was peering out the window, the door burst open revealing Sodapop. He looked terrible. He had stubble on his chin, a really bad 5 o'clock shadow, his clothes looked ragged and very dirty and his hair had almost no grease in it for once. I wanted to jump up and hug him because of how much I missed him, but I resisted knowing that he was most likely still mad at me and would push me away.
"Sodapop?" I said almost in a whisper. He looked up at me for the first time. His eyes teared up and I could see that he was trying to hold it back, but that wasn't stopping my eyes from tearing up too. "Soda?" I repeated, quieter.
"I thought you was dead Maxy," He spoke with his head down. I saw a single tear shed from his eye and quickly fall to the ground.
"I could never die on ya, Sodapop. I'd miss ya too much," I brushed my hair back behind my ear and cracked a small smile on my face, hoping he would return one. I could hear his sweet chuckle ring through my ears and he showed his gorgeous, movie-star smile. I liked seeing his smile. He usually smiles all the time, but now, it looked almost unnatural for him.
He slowly began to walk up to me, but stopped short at the foot of my bed. Intently, I watched him play with the blankets at my feet. He wrapped the end of it around his finger, but quickly unwrapped it. It was almost as if he was nervous. Sodapop is never nervous. He's the kinda guy, that's never afraid to ask something or even speak his mind, as long as it's not hurting nobody. He continued to finger the sheets, but abruptly dropped them.
"Umm were ya uh, mad at me?" He asked, stuttering a bit.
"I never was," I said hoping he wasn't mad at me too. I missed him so much and being stuck in this hospital doesn't help. Once again he smiled; I was getting used to his smile again thankfully.
"Maxy, you-Jesus, you really gave me-us a fright. We got ya here as fast as we could. They jus' took you to emergency surgery and wouldn't tell us nothing. I- we thought you was dead, Maxy." He said the last part almost in a whisper. He looked like he saw a ghost, almost. Honest-to god, fear was seeping through his eyes. I've never seen anyone so scared. "I thought you was dead," He whispered, dropping to his knees.
I watched him as he held his head in his hands. His quiet sobs rung through my ears. I so badly wanted to jump out of this bed, hug him tightly and never let go; just like I hugged my bunny the first day I got it. Using all the my power, I threw the blanket off of me and swung my feet over the side of the bed. Slowly, I pulled myself up. I could feel the pain surging through my right hip, but I ignored it as I hobbled over to Soda. Gently, I bent down next to him not paying attention to the pain that shot through my hip again, and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped at the touch of me and ended with his back against the wall.
"Soda, talk to me," I whispered as I slowly crawled over to him, wincing at every movement until I was next to him with my back against the wall too.
"If ya died, I would'a never forgave myself," Soda choked out. I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry on my shoulder. I didn't mind comforting him after all the times he's comfort me. I guess I'm repaying him.
"Why?" I honestly was confused. What would he have never forgiven himself for?
"Cause we haven't talked all week cause of me. And you would'a" He gulped quite loudly there. "you would'a died thinkin I hated you," he continued. I felt a few tears fall on my neck as he continued to talk. "I ain't mad at ya. I don't hate ya. Cause, cause-" He stopped short of his sentence. It made me want to hang on for the ride that I would be riding when I heard what he said.
"Cause what Soda? Ya can tell me anythin'," I whispered into his head. Only seconds later, he sat up and looked me directly in the eye. Searching through his eyes, I saw fright, passion, desire, want, plead and much more that was indescribable.
"Cause, I love ya Maxy. I love ya so much. Everythin' about ya- like you're not afraid to show true emotion, ya care bout other people more than yourself. Even the lil things, I notice them. Like when you're upset your breath always gets caught and when ya bit your lip when thinking. I notice everything. Ya have passion, love, hope and more that's perfect," He brushed away the piece of hair that fell in my face, never breaking his gaze with me. "You're perfect Maxy. Since the day I met ya, we grew closer and I knew you weren't like every girl. I knew you would be everythin' I could ever want. Maxy, I love ya, so much. I can't explain it or describe the feelin' ya give me," He said. He had true feelings behind what he said and I didn't know how to react.
"Soda, I-I don' know what to say," I choked out, still trying to process what he just said. I was utterly and entirely shocked. No boy has ever felt that way about me before. I was always the girl in the back, who people whispered about or made fun of. I never thought it was possible to think such things about me. The only time a boy paid attention to me, was when they were being mean and rude. I never thought anyone could love me. I thought I'd die alone.
"But I know. I'm no Steve. I'll accept it," Soda said sniffing.
"Soda, I jus' don' love ya that way. I'm sorry, but you have to understand-" I was cut off short, by Soda leaning over and placing a small, but passionate kiss, full of love, on my lips. A kiss that took my breath away, but there was no spark there like I heard is supposed to happen.
I used to read fairytale books that my grandma always suggested to me, and they always ended with something like "When he kissed his princess, she could feel the sparks between their lips. It felt like electricity. She knew that he was the one" or something like that and I just didn't feel that with Sodapop.
"Goodbye, Max," He whispered as he dried his face off from all the tears he had cried on me. His leaving didn't stop me from crying. Now, I couldn't stop; it was almost uncontrollable. My eyes wandered up to, just in time to see him walk out the door. I hated myself so much for letting him go, but I just don't have those feelings towards him. I hated that, Soda loves me so much and I couldn't give the return the feelings. I hated myself for so badly wanting something I couldn't have no matter how much I wanted it, when Soda is offering it to me. He is offering everything I could possible want or need in a relationship, but it's somehow not good enough for me. Soda was offering me the fairytales I have read about, but I couldn't accept; I had to turn the other way.
The more the feelings began to wrap around my brain, the more I felt my body sinking lower into a pit, that got deeper and became more cruel, playing with my feelings, the lower I sank. It felt as if, I couldn't stop falling or like someone was grabbing me and engulfing me into this darkness that never seems to end. The only thought that I could get through my head was 'Steve'. He didn't want me in anyway, shape or form. So, why would he have anything to do with a broken, depressed shell of what I was? That's all I am! He doesn't want a girl who has nobody, who's depressed, a hopeless romantic, or even a girl who can't see the light. The more this thought developed in my head, the more I thought, would I ever be able to crawl back out of this pit of darkness?
XXX
The next day when I woke up, I felt worse than I did before I fell asleep. I couldn't fall asleep because my mind was too focused on Soda and what had happened between us. And Steve didn't come last night. Also, my head hurt like hell from how much I cried. It felt like someone rammed a hammer into it. Sodapop confessing his love for me, didn't make me feel any better. Now, I'm not only hurting myself, but the person I care so much for and it's bringing the depression on more.
At around 10 o'clock, Ponyboy, Johnny and Two-Bit stopped by. I was very distant and when they asked me questions, or even talked to me, either I wouldn't answer or I would stutter a lot. I remember Two-Bit saying how the guys that did this to me was goin to hell or something like that, but I was in a daze so I didn't really hear it.
I hadn't eaten all day and my stomach was grumbling like crazy, but I ignored it like I ignored everything else. Glancing out the window, I noticed that it was a crack open. One of the gang must've done that. I could hear the faint sounds of birds chirping while they fed their babies. Also the parks from the dogs across the street at the dog park, while their owners threw frisbees for them to catch. Additional to those noises, were the cars vrooming on the road trying to get their lunch, before their break is over.
"Max? Max are you okay?" I broke out of my train of thought, seeing Steve crouching next to the bed in front of my face.
"What?" I said getting my head back to reality.
"I been tryin' to get ya attention for five minutes. Ya okay?" He asked. I could hear the sacredness in his voice. Kinda shook me up a bit.
"Nothin. I'm fine," I said turning away from Steve's face. I may have climbed a bit out of that pit, but looking Steve in the face, made me feel like someone pushed me back down and shoveled a foot of dirt on me, keeping me there.
"This bout you and Sodapop?" He questioned me. That caught me by surprised. I looked at him with my tear stained face and a sad look washing over it. The thought of what happened last night shook me up a bit, but no tears came to my eyes. Maybe I cried my eyes out. I tried to answer him, but I just couldn't bring myself to it. All I could do was cry.
"Shh shh shh. S'ok, Maxy," Steve said. He grabbed my face softly and with his thumb my cheeks where tears should be falling. Eventually, he ended up in my bed again, holding me in his arms, while trying to calm me down. It almost felt like this wasn't happening because it was Steve. It's almost like a fairytale; me being the Princess and Steve being my Prince Charming.
Minutes had passed with us sitting in this position, until Steve offered to grab me some food. I knew I wouldn't be able to win this fight, just like everyday, so I nodded my head. He pecked my forehead and crawled out of the bed making the spot he was previously in, cold and not as comforting as his body was.
It couldn't have been more than ten seconds since Steve left, before someone walked in the room. I knew it wouldn't be Soda because he was upset with me and at work. Darry was working, Ponyboy was at school, Two-Bit was working on a hangover, like usual, and Johnny is most likely, with Dally who was probably making a scene wherever he was. Curious as to who was standing in my hospital room, I couldn't keep myself from looking to see who it was. Peering over at the door, I saw Tim Shepard standing in the doorway. What was he doing here? Yeah we made a peace treaty, but why was he here? Is it already all around town? Nobody really knew who I was so how did he know? He could probably tell my surprised and confused facial expressions, because a smirk grew on his face.
"So it's true," He said making the smirk on his face grow more. I looked at him like 'duh' and he chuckled. He closed the door, but kept it open a bit maybe so nobody thought something was going on. He walked over to my bed and yanked a chair next to it, spinning it so the back was facing the bed, all in one swift movement. Going down into almost a splitz, he sat down on the chair with his chest against the neck of the chair; he looked tuff and tough.
"What happened to ya?" Tim asked with hard eyes.
"How'd ya know I was here, if ya asking 'what happened'? I said with a little sas. Maybe I was getting back to my normal self and I was just thinking too hard before.
"Hear some socs stabbed ya while you's was drugged," he said coolly, but not peeling his eyes away from mine.
"Ya heard right," I said quietly. I turned away from his face, not wanting to stare at his harsh eyes. I felt ashamed and embarrassed of myself when he put it that way. It made me sound weak, knowing that a socs my worst enemies, had stabbed me and that I was drugged by some guy that I didn't even know.
"Why'd the socs stab ya?" He asked. I sound so weak.
"Beat them up a couple times. They were the ones who jumped me when you stepped in," I explained. He put a thinking face on and stood up about to leave, but turned around holding the door between his hands. "Who drugged ya?" He asked sincerely. What is he Nancy Drew now? But, I went along with it.
"Umm it's kinda fuzzy, but he was real thin, scary eyes, looked umm 26? And had a missing tooth," I explained. Tim looked very intrigued the more I described him. It was kinda weird and made me very nervous. He came and sat down in the chair the way he had before.
"Was the missing tooth on top or bottom?" He asked, begging for more information. I closed my eyes trying to picture this nameless guy, but I couldn't remember. It was almost giving me a headache. A really bad one too.
"I don't remember," I said with a pained look appearing on my face.
"You gotta Max," He pressured on. I thought harder again when I got a flashback of that night.
"Ummm can I have one beer?" I asked kindly.
"Sure thing baby," He turned around to grab me a beer, but was gone a little longer than expected
so I just left. I walked over to the couch and flung down putting one leg under my other one. Eyeing the room, I saw Soda hanging around with Two-Bit drinking beer, Johnny and Ponyboy talking to some people that looked just around their age, Dally talking to Tim with a beer in his hand, and Steve and Evie making out on top of the bar. Good thing I left there before they got there, otherwise there probably would've been trouble.
Before long, the guy from the bar was standing above me. He looked down at me, smiled showing his missing tooth again, and handed me my beer that I had asked for a while ago. Now I could get a better look at him. He looked really creepy. He was thin like Soda, very tall, had eyes that looked almost black, he had stumble going along his jaw line and a little on his neck. Overall, he looked about the age of 26. Older than Darry, but not by much. He looked down at me, smiled showing his missing tooth again, and handed me my beer that I had asked for a while ago.
"Here ya go pretty lady," he said with a smirk. I took it from his grip and took a long sip. I needed this, to get my mind off of things with Steve. It was like he was bipolar almost. His perspective of me changes every hour!
The guy sat next to me and put his arm around me. Not wanting to start anything, I let him keep it there. It's not like he was attacking me. Half-way through the bottle, my head started spinning and my words were slurred a bit. Everything looked kinda fuzzy and I didn't feel like myself. Was I drunk? I didn't even drink that much.
Soon the beer bottle was empty and on the floor and I was straddling the guy who gave me the drink. I was trailing kisses up and down his jaw. I felt something hard in between my legs and I stopped and began giggling. I felt him chuckle under me and pull my lips onto his. He roughly kissed me and shoved his tongue down my throat. Kissing back, I put my hands behind his neck and pulled him closer to me. I felt my shirt being lifted up on the bottom and soon it was on the floor when I was yanked off and someone's arms were around my waist holding me back.
"Bottom. It was on the bottom," I said, getting out of my memory.
"Damn it! I knew it!" Tim shouted. He stood up and threw the chair he was sitting in, towards the wall. It made a loud crash and it sounded like the chair broke, making me jump from the loud sound.
"Knew what?" I asked confused.
"That was my boy! It was AJ! Fuck, he was my most reliable boy! Thought I could count on him and here he goes druggin Randle's girl," he said. Randle's girl? As in Steve Randle? Me being "Randle's girl"? Only in my dreams.
"Randle's girl? Tim, what ya talkin' bout?" I asked confused.
"Ya, heard he dumped Evie for ya," Shock washed over my face. Why would he do that? Evie always puts out for him and loves being his little accessory while me on the other hand, I want him for him, for someone to love me.
"I wish he wanted me," I whispered, but Tim must've heard it cause he pulled the chair back up, spun it around again, and sat in the splitz form, resting his hands on the tip of the chair neck and scooted forward to listen more.
"Sounds like lil Maxy, likes Stevie," Tim teased. I shot him a serious look. A sly smile spread across his face. Instantly, I backed my head up, shoving it into the pillow more and a look saying 'what the fuck' on my face, only making his grin become bigger.
"Pretend, I'm Stevie. What you gonna say?" I slumped down more and gave him a look saying 'seriously?'. He nodded his head roughly. Rolling my eyes and head back, I looked up at him and sighed loudly.
"Fine, but if you repeat this, when I get outta here, I will beat your head in," He chuckled at my threat. I guess me being a little girl, trapped in a hospital, with a stab wound isn't intimidating. "The truth is, I love you. Ever since I met ya, even with your constant jokes bout me, somethin about ya attracted me to ya. I can't help myself. I want ya to be mine-" I said, but was interrupted by someone running through the door.
Looking over to the doorway, I saw an angry Steve standing there, without my food. His hands were balled up in fists, his nostrils were flaring and his breathing became heavier. Man if glares could kill, Tim would be a goner. Steve marched in and threw the vase full of flowers that Ponyboy brought a week ago. The crash of the vase frightened me and I jumped up at the loud crash. There were pieces of glass covering the right side of the room and flowers lying around. Tim stood up in one swift movement and put his hand out to stop Steve from destroying anything else.
"Hey, hey, hey just-" Tim was cut off by Steve hooking him on his right jaw. What the hell was he doing? I've never seen Steve this angry, even when I slapped him that one day in the DX station.
"What the fuck Randle! Why the hell are ya hittin' me?" Tim yelled at him, holding his new shinner. Steve walked back up to him and punched his nose. He pulled back to throw another fist at Tim, but he caught Steve's fist before it touched his untouched left jaw.
"What is your problem kid?!" Tim yelled at Steve. Steve's face was red and full of anger, while I was sitting curled up in this hospital bed shaking violently, watching this brutal scene unfold in front of me. I had to stop this. Slowly, I pulled myself out of bed and stood up. The pain wasn't as bad, but it still hurt like hell.
"Oh lemme think "The truth is, I love ya. Ever since I met ya, somethin bout ya attracted me to ya. I want ya to be mine," you bitch!" Steve mocked me and insulted me. I could hear Tim growl at Steve and then punch him.
"Guys stop! Steve let go of him! No please stop guys!" I screamed as Steve shoved Tim against the wall. I began screaming as sweat dripped down my forehead. Using all I had left in me, I climbed out of bed and walked up to Tim and I held his shoulder, examining both of them. Tim had Steve against the wall holding him by his neck. Tim looked real beat up. He was sporting a new shiner on his right jaw, a bloody nose and a black eye. Steve just had a black eye and his lip was cut up a bit. Not bad off.
"Calm down kid! I ain't done nothin!" Tim said as he let go of Steve. Steve didn't move, but continued breathing heavily. Tim walked out of the hospital room, looking back at me and nodding his head, leaving the door open. Steve looked at me and walked over to my bed, still breathing heavily. He towered over me, looking me dead on in the eye. I'd never been so scared in my life.
"So who aint you screwing around with huh? First Soda then AJ then Tim! Everyone watch out for the new neighborhood whore!" Steve yelled in my face.
"I did nothin with him Steve!" I screamed back in his face. Now my heart was racing. Steve has never yelled at me like that before. What was his problem? He broke up with Evie for me? That's gotta be some cruel joke!
"You're jus' like the rest of them. Bet you're knocked up too! Have a nice life you fuckin whore!" He yelled. I thought I was out of tears, but I guess not, because tears began to form in my eyes.
"I aint no whore! I don't want no one but you! I was talkin to him bout you! And I can't have a nice life because I aint got no one! I am a fuckin depressed sixteen year old girl, who wants nothin but her parents and grandma back! I want to fuckin die Steven because my life is a never endin nightmare and no one loves me or wants me! I want out!" I rambled on while hitting him and pushing him until he was up against the wall. Now he was the one who looked scared. And he wasn't even stopping me.
I finally noticed my heart moniter going berserk and the next thing I knew, there were around twelve hands holding my arms and pulling me. I grabbed onto Steve's waist not wanting to let go and to wherever these doctors were going to take me. Screaming and crying, I fought against the doctors, but was defeated when I felt the warm cushiony bed underneath me.
"Relax sweety. you need to calm down," A nurse said to me while the other ones were holding me down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a single nurse holding a needle and that definitely didn't calm me down.
"Let me the fuck go! I fucking hate you Steve! I hate you! I hope you burn in hell you low life! Fucking die!" Before I could speak further, I felt a needle be inserted in my upper left arm. Before everything became hazy, the last thing I saw was, Steven Randle, standing in the corner I had pinned him in just a few moments ago, with shock written all over his face and Dallas Winston, fighting off a doctor in my doorway.
