Safe In Your Arms
Chapter 12
In the Starlight
(Aragorn's POV)
"You sure none of your toes are broken?" Cait asked, biting her lower lip. So she had heard that last attempt at stifling a yelp. I had not believed her when she said she didn't know any ballroom dancing. Most say such things when they are at a ball and do not want to disappoint their dancing partner. This time, however, it was the truth. She didn't know how to dance at all. At the very least, not properly for the ballroom dance floor. Although, there had been a some sort of a jig the hobbits began which Gwyn knew fairly well, or at least well enough follow.
"I have never met anyone who has never been to a ball before. At least, no one of our particular backgrounds."
I thought Cait was going to berate me for bringing up our kingly ancestors but she did not. She sighed. "Yeah, well. My grandparents were farmers. My mother's a school teacher and my father was killed in the war. Not exactly of the proper social standing for fancy balls thrown by the aristocrats. But you didn't answer my question."
Cait was beginning to lean on me more heavily now and I knew it wasn't because she didn't know the dance. Her wound was aching. It was time to stop. "All ten are perfectly fine. Do not worry so much, Cait. This is but a trivial thing."
"Only if you promise not to worry as well."
I spun her one last time. This, at least, she had gotten down well. I think it was more because she liked the feeling of being in my arms more than any real skill at dancing. She gave me a look that told me I had better give her the answer she wanted. I chuckled to myself. "Very well." She smiled at me, but waved a hand telling me she wanted to hear the whole thing. "I promise I shan't worry."
My worrying and refusal to talk had caused Cait, in turn, to worry over me. It was as Legolas had said, then. I needed to talk to her. The song ended and I took her hand, leading her off the dance floor. Cait didn't complain, but reached up for an arm to lean on. She was trying to make it look as if she was fine. I smiled. Despite her simple life as the daughter of a teacher and farmer turned warrior Cait had many inner qualities which echoed back to when her family was looked upon to lead. That is something you can never fully leave. It shall always haunt and follow, being expected to act a certain way because, once upon a time, you were royalty.
"By the way," she said, we went out onto the balcony once again, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, you needn't ask." I had replied immediately. I looked down at Cait and saw a timidness there I had not expected. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"Are we a thing?" She bit her lip.
From her body language I knew that what she was asking was very important to her. From speech I had no idea what she was trying to communicate. The speech barrier which sometimes cropped up was now risen at full force. And probably at the worst of times. I mulled over the phrase quickly but after several seconds Cait rephrased the statement, knowing didn't understand.
"I mean, are we together?"
That I understood. And it was something I had been taking for granted. We had been together constantly from time I had saved her life in the woods. Now we were resting in Lorien before continuing on the journey. Gandalf was no longer here to lead us and so the responsibilities of leader rested upon my shoulders. Boromir would raise a fit if I planned on bringing Cait along. But she would follow. I knew she would. She had the ability to help, if only because of her knowledge. We had described it as foresight to Galadriel, though I expect she knew the truth of it.
"I would like for us to be a couple, Cait." I truly didn't know how I was going to answer. Logic said I had to continue on, alone, until my duty was completed. But matters of the heart are so very illogical that it is nearly impossible to see them that way. Cait's shoulders sank and she leaned her back against the railing, looking at the floor. She thought I was going to say goodbye.
I paused again. And in that half second of silent I heard a muffled, half sob. Cait turned her head ever so slightly away from me. I think it was then my heart started to break. "Please don't cry." I walked closer to her and put my hand on her back. "Cait, I'm not," but she turned and yelled at me, with tears in her eyes.
"Would you just give me straight answer? If you don't ..." but she stopped, took a breath, and began again. "If you don't..." She looked away.
She couldn't say it. And I couldn't blame her. If you don't love me. It's what she had had meant. I didn't need foresight to know that. "But I do."
I hadn't realized I said the words aloud until Cait's face whipped back towards me. "What?" she asked, to afraid to hope too much.
"I don't want to end this before its begun. Because I do..." And suddenly the words stuck in my throat. Love wasn't a word you simply threw around. It was something I learned only recently. Now that I was afraid she would not feel the same, or else think me too forward, I couldn't say it out loud. It was exactly what the old always said of the young. It was the fear of rejection which stopped me.
"It's only, I cannot ask your father for permission to court you. Also..."
But Cait laughed, which stopped me dead. I was a bit hurt by this, but I knew she didn't mean to insult me. "Aragorn, things really aren't done that way where I come from. Well," she cocked her head to the side, thinking hard, "Not really. Besides, my father's dead and I don't think I'm ever going to see my grandpa again."
It sounded so very harsh when she put it that way. Yet what she said was true. There was very little chance of Cait ever getting back to wherever it was she came from. And, in a way, part of me was glad for this, though I would never say so. "Yes, this is true. But we are also trying to help Frodo in his quest. We may get," I struggled to find the right word, "distracted, which could be potentially problematic for the fellowship and our mission."
Cait turned away from me. I was afraid I had made her cry, fully this time, and not the misty eyes she had been trying to hide. "Don't you think it would be more distracting if we weren't together? We'd be with each other every day without being able to tell each other how we felt... And don't you dare tell me that I should stay here." Cait turned around again and wagged a finger at me. "There are things I can help with that no one else can. Aragorn,"
"Cait," I cut her off. "I care more about you than perhaps is wise, having met you so recently. I...truly care for you. And you're correct of course. It would be much more distracting if I had to watch you and yet could not call you my own."
Cait smiled. "Does this mean we're officially a couple?" She tried to keep the growing excitement out of her voice, but was failing badly.
"If you shall agree to the arrangement. I have never gone about it quite this way." I scratched my chin.
"Agree? I practically had to talk you into it." Cait stepped closer to me and stretched out a hand. I grasped it in one of my larger hands. I pulled Cait closer, so that we were almost touching. I chuckled.
"Is that a yes?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. Cait grinned mischievously and tilted her head up so that she was looking directly into my eyes.
"What do you think?"
I smiled back and leaned down. She closed the gap between us by standing on her toes. And then our lips were touching, as I had wished they would all night as we were dancing. But we weren't dancing slowly in a ballroom. It was better than that. We were standing in the treetops underneath the moon and the stars.
(Legolas's point of view)
I knew that Arwen must be somewhere in the nearby vicinity. I had seen an elf with black hair and since there are quite few elves with dark hair in Lorien I knew it must be her. I needed to speak with her. What exactly I could say to alleviative her of some of her grief I didn't yet know. But still I had to, even if it just to make myself feel better.
It hadn't been easy getting away from the ball. Many of the young ladies stared after me, confused as to why I was leaving so early and a bit disappointed that they would not get the chance to dance with me. I have to admit that while some were delightful company, others seemed to forget that I am indeed a person and not something to ogle. If I had to choose between being stuck somewhere with Gimli or the lot of women at the ball I would choose the dwarf without a second thought.
The only woman I wanted the company of at the moment was the one who was deliberately trying not to be found. It's odd how the world always seems to work that way. Finally I found her in one of the many gardens of Lorien, sitting on an old swing tied to the limbs of an ancient tree. No doubt it was put there by some elf child who had long since grown to adult hood. Arwen's feet dangled slightly above the grass as her head rested against the arm she had entwined in the rope.
"Arwen," I began before I remembered that I had not quite planned what it was that I was going to say once I found her. "Are you alright?"
Not quite how I wanted to come off. However, I don't think she heard me for I was ignored completely. Then again, Arwen was most likely hoping that if she didn't give a response I would leave her in peace. But one thing I have learned over my many long years is that when you wish to be left alone is usually the time when you need your friends and family the most. I decided to try one more time at conversation before giving up.
"I was disappointed when you left so suddenly, Lady Arwen." Arwen looked up, somewhat startled, before recognizing me. Perhaps she hadn't been paying attention and, upon hearing common speech, assumed it had been Aragorn.
"Why is that, Lord Legolas?" she asked, not quite meeting my gaze. I ignored the use of my title. Usually it was said only to insult or somehow injure my pride.
"Because," I said, "I had not yet had the opportunity to dance with you and I was looking forward to the chance." It wasn't a lie, either.
Arwen smiled finally, sweet and sad. "I'm sorry, Legolas. I don't quite feel like dancing." Taking my chances I sat beside her on the wide swing. I was afraid Arwen would simply leave again, as she did before, but this time she stayed. "Legolas," she began after some time, "Why is it that Aragorn is so taken with her?"
I sighed. This question was to be expected, but I still didn't wish to tell her. "Well," I began slowly, "Aragorn was searching for someone similar himself. Someone who could truly understand how he feels. In Cait, he has met someone who is very much like him – at least in some respects – though he may not realize this himself."
"How so?" Arwen knew what it was I meant. I could tell from the look in her eyes. She only needed to hear it aloud, and, maybe, with time she could move on.
"Both are descended from Kings of old. Neither want to become the King or Queen they were born to be and have the potential of becoming. Both hide this from most. Cait nearly took Aragorn and my heads when we told the rest of the Fellowship she was a daughter of kings." I chuckled at the memory. That day seemed to be so long ago, though I knew it was but a few weeks prior.
"No family, holding secrets, afraid of their destiny... Perhaps you are right, Legolas."
It sounded rather dark when Arwen put it that way, but she was correct after all. "Arwen, there is something that plagues my mind which I must ask you." She nodded for me to continue. "Why did you come back? I understand that you miss Aragorn, but I thought you were the one to first say farewell?"
"I was," Arwen admitted. "I didn't go on the ship sailing across the sea because I still had hope. Perhaps I had too much hope. I needed to know if Aragorn had moved on or if he was still lost in the past, like myself. It seems, though, that he has continued on without me."
"Aragorn moved on because he had to. The circumstances ..."
"I understand now, Legolas. Perhaps it simply wasn't meant to be..." The moonlight made Arwen's hair shimmer as she ran a hand through the long dark locks.
"There could be someone even better waiting for you, you know, my Lady," I said, leaning closer confidentially.
"Oh? And where will I find such a man, my Lord?" She smiled again, and this time it reached her eyes, though just barely.
I simply grinned in lieu of a reply. Arwen needed to heal more before I could continue this conversation with good faith. Taking another chance I cleared my throat. "Arwen, may I have this dance?"
I stood and extended my hand for her to take. She looked at my hand a long minute before responding. "Alright, Legolas, you may have this dance."
(Cait's point of view)
"Enough, Boromir, this is not your decision to make." Aragorn was trying very hard not to raise his voice and it was barely working. None of us could blame him though. I think everyone was just about ready to shout at Boromir.
"Your judgment is clouded by your feelings. You would rather have her at your side than make sure of her safety." Boromir didn't know that I had just walked up behind the arguing pair, otherwise he may have said something even meaner. He probably hated Aragorn just as much as he hated me, but unlike Aragorn I wasn't an expert on battle techniques and wasn't armed.
"Cait's coming because she wants to help," Sam piped up. Good old Sam, you could always count on him. He was right, too. I did want to help. But Boromir's judgment was too clouded by the ring to see that. From what I could tell, and from what the hobbits had told me, Boromir was rapidly losing touch with reality and going further into the dark places of his own mind. Frodo had been trying to avoid him at first, but that was made much easier after the ball when Boromir seemed to disappear for hours and only returning for sleep.
Do you all really think that one woman barely of age can make that much of a difference?" Boromir's voice rose. "She learned things from stories. Stories! What makes you so sure that the stories are the same. Over many years the tales change because people forget the details – some of which are important enough to make all the difference in battle."
"Battle's not my expertise. I'm leaving that part to you." I sat next to Merry and Pippin who were playing some kind of card game, but I couldn't figure out what it was. There was a heap of coins between them and from the looks of it Pippin was winning quite a bit from Merry.
"Do you really believe you can make a difference with no real skill except knowing your tales and your history?" Boromir spoke in a low, threatening voice.
"I hope I can. And that's the main thing, isn't it? As long as there's still hope, you always have a chance." Frodo caught my eye and smiled. At least one person was on my side. And it was Frodo, who had great sway over the Fellowship even though Aragorn had become our leader through some sort of unspoken agreement. Well, except for Boromir maybe. He didn't seem to be agreeing to anything lately.
Boromir glared at me before stalking off.
"How are we supposed to get anything done with Boromir fighting with you all the time?" Gimli asked me.
"Me?" I said, slightly offended. "Boromir's been arguing with anyone who breaths different than he does lately." Yeesh, why is everything always my fault?
"We must learn how to control our own tempers, even if Boromir cannot control his own." Legolas looked from Gimli to me and back again. "Yes?"
"Yeah, okay," I mumbled. Gimli only grunted but it didn't sound like one of his mean grunt – growls so I figured that was a yes.
"So when exactly are we leaving?" Pip asked, scooping another pile of money towards him.
"In a week's time, possible two," Aragorn answered. "It depends on how quickly Cait's wound continues to heal."
Good thing Boromir wasn't here or otherwise we'd probably get into another argument on how I'm not a little pansy girl again. I swear that man drives me absolutely crazy – and in the bad kind of way. I'm sure that by the time this is all over I'll have contemplated at least 20 different was to kill Boromir and make it look like an accident – and get away with it.
"Legolas, where are you going?" Frodo asked as Legolas did that elf thing where he walks away absolutely silently.
Legolas smiled. "Don't worry, Frodo. I'll be back before sundown." And with that he was gone. Again.
"Damn elf," Gimli grumbled, "He gets to be in a place as close to his home as he can get. And look at the rest of us. No sight of home in the near or distant future for me."
"Why, Gimli, I do believe that you are homesick."
Gimli said something inaudible and walked away.
"You'd better get some rest, Miss Cait," Sam said in a fatherly sort of way. "The sooner you get well, the sooner we can travel and the sooner Boromir may become a little more friendly."
"Alright," I consented, "But I don't think that Boromir will ever be that overly friendly."
(Legolas's point of view)
I felt somewhat guilty not telling any of the Fellowship of Arwen's appearance, yet at the same time it was on a need to know basis with Aragorn, or maybe Cait come to think of it, at the top and Boromir at the very end. But things were simpler if Aragorn did not know. Besides, I am a prince and learned the art of talking circles around people if necessary – though this was made much more difficult with Aragorn as my friend, as he was used to such things as well.
"And how are you feeling today, Arwen?"
Arwen smiled. "Much better than before, thank you. And yourself?"
"All the better for hearing that." I paused, not quite sure how I was going to pose my next question. She had gone back to speaking as if I were a prince from another land and not a friend of hers. Well, I was a prince from a foriegn land, but Arwen was one of the only people who acknowledged that on any regular basis. And it was Arwen who I didn't particularly want to act as such. "Arwen," I began slowly, "What are you going to do now? Sail across the sea?"
I held my breath waiting for the answer. I had already said goodbye to many I knew. She thought on this for a long moment. "No," she said softly. "No I think not – not yet at least. I feel as if my path remains in Middle Earth for the time being."
"All out paths are tied to the ring now. The freedom of Middle Earth rests on Frodo's shoulders. We all must help in any way we can."
Arwen nodded. "Your brother and your father are on your side, though I doubt they hold much more hope than my father in Imladris."
I smiled, suddenly seeing where Arwen's path may lead, though I do not have the powers of foresight like Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel. "You are royalty of both Imladris and Lorien. The people will listen to you. And you have more hope than many elves." Arwen grinned, and smiled back. "We are going to need you before the end, Arwen."
"I'll try to rally the elves spirits, though I don't know if I will come to any success. You'll need much aid in the end. Gondor cannot stand alone."
"With you and your brothers working behind the scenes, to borrow a phrase, I doubt Gondor will be alone. Get word to all those who are willing to help. I fear that the end is closer than we think."
(Cait's POV)
I couldn't sleep that night. I thought I would be able to. It had been a good few days since the ball and everything was going pretty well. Boromir was back to giving me the silent treatment. Frodo's spirits were beginning to lift. My wound was healing well, all things considered. And Aragorn had said that we were together. But over and over again I saw the events which I knew were to come in my mind.
It wasn't like I could tell anyone. I didn't want them to worry too, for one thing. Why make more people have restless nights? So I decided to go 'walk the gardens' as it was being called. Maybe I'd find Legolas who kept disappearing on us. Part of me wanted to get lost. Just loose myself in the magnificent beauty of all that was around me and forget the troubles of knowing what's going to happen. But I still couldn't forget, not really. That was the entire reason that they needed me.
One garden simply melded into another. I wasn't even sure if they were planned gardens anymore or if the forest was just this beautiful. Everything seemed to glow even though there weren't very many candles and I was pretty sure the moonlight couldn't reach this far down.
I hadn't realized anyone had been talking until the sound had stopped. I looked up and saw Galadriel and Aragorn. Galadriel was standing by a basin of water looking all regal and mystical. Aragorn on the other hand didn't quite meet my eyes. "I'm sorry," I began, "I didn't realize anyone was..."
"Do not apologize, child. I wish to speak with you." Even though Galadriel smiled at me I couldn't help but feel like she was judging me silently. "Do you know what this is?" She motioned towards the basin of water. An ancient looking pitcher was sitting beside it.
"The Mirror of Galadriel. At least that's what I know it as."
"It is as good a name as any." Galadriel smiled. "Would you like to look into its waters?"
I glanced at the pool for a moment. Water sparkled in the moonlight. My mind once again turned to what I knew was to come. I smiled slightly. "No thanks. I'm good."
Galadriel's face went blank. "Are you frightened?"
I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out at first. I glanced at Aragorn but he was still looking away. "Of course I am. I'd be retarded not to be. You both are too."
Galadriel's jaw hardened. Aragorn cleared his throat. I looked towards him and saw him shake his head slightly. Guess that means I shouldn't be speaking that way to her. Too late now though. Galadriel looked mad, which was more than a little disconcerting. She was a witch after all. "You think you are above the tides of fate?"
"I don't believe in fate." Galadriel raised an eyebrow but I wasn't sure if it was because of my glare or what I said. "I don't believe our lives are all mapped out for us. The fact that I'm here and wasn't in the story I know of this place at all is reason enough to believe that, right? All you do with that mirror is trick people into seeing either what they already know, what they're afraid of, or what they wish is true. I don't need a mirror to show me any of those things."
I stood there panting after my tirade. I felt better getting that all out. I just wished it hadn't happened in front of Elvin witch queen.
"I can understand your feelings, Cait, though I may not agree with your sentiments. Time shall prove which of us are correct." Galadriel was looking at me with a much kinder expression now. I smiled a little in return.
"Yeah." I replied. It was beginning to dawn on me who I was talking to and just how powerful and important she was. "By the way, which way is back to camp?"
Aragorn grinned, chuckling. "Come. I shall show you the way."
I took the arm he offered me. I glanced behind us at Galadriel. She smiled and nodded.
