Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything but my OCs, as I have already said. Not that anyone knew that in the first place anyway…
Hopelessly Blue: I'm sorry for making you wait so long and paddle alone! I missed you all as well, so don't worry about it being 'one-sided', eh? Anyway, yeah, Raegas' family dysfunctional family is even worse than my own, though I did draw inspiration for Raegas' siblings from my own. O_o I am glad we can continue as well, and I'm not going to make you wait a whole month or anything for these updates. I'm hoping Raegas' soft side will prevail sometime though, for at least one scene, you know? Otherwise, I'd feel as if Raegas was just hurting herself and everyone around her in a way. Yeah?
Liege Lord: I'm not so sure about the 'date' thing, but I am sure Raegas had a pretty good time- even if she won't admit it! XD As for offspring, I'm pretty sure it takes two for that; Ciria would need her own mate right? Don't worry though; I'm sure it'll come together sometime. Oh, and if Raegas and Shep actually hook up at all-let alone in the first 'game'- I don't know for sure what will happen. We'll just have to cross that bridge when it comes I guess. ^_^
Kamika111: Aw! I'm so glad you reviewed again! ^.^ I hate waiting as much as you do too, so I'll do my best to get these chapters out consistently, 'kay? Anyway, I'm wondering how Raegas will deal with it as well; even if they don't get together, I feel like she should feel something about it, right? Anyway, thanks for the compliments!
A/N: Also, I have another new profile pic so make sure and check it out! Oh, and you can request for certain pics as well in a review or something, FYI. XP
Shepard stared as Raegas stormed away, unable to bring herself to reach out for her. Her words had created a lump in Shepard's throat, keeping her from being able to speak. She felt a shift in said woman's hood as Ciria stood in it to look over Shepard's shoulder. The young pup whined as she stared where Raegas had been only moments before. Shepard patted the pup's head, trying to reassure her, but both knew something had to be done for Raegas. Otherwise, she would eventually break down from the strain on her body.
The Commander started for Raegas' path, but thought better of it. If she was going to help her, she needed to find something that could help Raegas sleep. As an idea popped into her head, Shepard rushed off to the nearest clinic. Then again, what she was looking for may not be in stock…
…
I hadn't really managed to calm myself down by the time I'd gotten to the Normandy. I wasn't in danger of going into a Bloodrage or anything, but the looks Shepard gave me before I left made me feel terrible. Depressed and mad at myself wasn't the best way to go about my day though, so I forced myself to relax once I'd gotten to the CC.
Waru and Jasin were already there though, surprising me a little. They looked to me when I entered. It seemed they noticed my less than foul mood as well. Wordlessly, I stepped up to my table, looking over the armor I'd been working on earlier. I could add a few things and change the color, at least, to distract myself.
"Sis? What's wrong? Where's Ciria?" Jasin inquired, stepping to my side. I clenched my teeth and took a breath before looking back at her.
"I had an… argument… with Shepard a few minutes ago." I answered, cryptic as usual. She laid a hand on my back and started to rub soothing circles into it. She'd always known the rubbing and petting thing did well to calm me down and make me relax. Sometimes, music helped as well. You know what they say, 'Music tames the ravenous beast'… or something like that.
"What happened?" she asked, adding nails to the equation. My eyes went half-lidded in a relaxed state.
"First, she took me to eat breakfast… A ways through, she told me how she felt envious of me and Ciria since she'd always wanted a dog." I scoffed lightly, silently stating Ciria was no dog. "I let her hold Ciria for the rest of breakfast. Once we were finished I gave her my jacket so she could carry Ciria a while longer. After that, she dragged me to a music store where she bought a pile of them just so she could make me play for her." She moved all across my back then, rubbing with her nails lightly. How easily I could be manipulated… I thought bitterly.
"Then…?" she inquired quietly.
"After we left, my body had the audacity to yawn. She asked if I was tired, so I told her I'd gotten a few hours of sleep last night. She started with the lecture of how I was being unhealthy and that I needed to sleep more. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to work, she said." I explained, clenching my fists.
"Your eyes changed?" she wondered, still calm. No doubt she was coming up with some weird idea to fix everything with explosions; like she always did.
"Among other things. The way she looked at me, I felt… It made me feel like the monster I really am. That was what really got me. I don't see why I should care, but…" I trailed off, staring at my hand- the one Shepard had held so much. I didn't understand why she did such a thing. If it was a simple human companionship gesture, then I could understand, but I hadn't seen her to anything like that with others.
"I see. You're not a monster, sis, and you never will be. The only one who thinks that you are is you." She said softly, wrapping her arms around me. I let out a breath and let my head rest on her shoulder as she spoke.
"How could you not think I am? I'm full of the damned Corruption that killed mom…!" I growled, staring at the floor.
"That doesn't matter right now. You're not anything close to a monster because I love you. I, Waru, and our brothers all love you." At her words, Waru pushed closer and nuzzled against me. I dropped a hand to her head and scratched half-heartedly in response.
"Now, do try to feel better, alright? Waru and I will be in the med-bay room with Liara if you need anything." I was shocked at her being such quick friends with Liara but I was gratified as well. It was best for my siblings to make friends, maybe even look for a…mate. Just the thought alone, gave me a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Yeah." I muttered in acknowledgement. She released me and let Waru nuzzle me a bit more before the two of them left.
I took a deep breath to try and relax before turning to my table once more.
…
I'd finally finished the first set of armor after two more hours of working on it. I'd changed the color to white while the focus points on the armor's eezo flows were light blue. They glowed as well, giving the armor an almost ethereal feel. The armor's shins were fanned out a bit as well to add a level of protection. Luckily, I'd been able to almost eliminate the problem with low coverage/ high flexibility as well. The under-armor inlay was black with small veins on the outside of the legs and sides to give it a better look with the white and for better airflow, of course. Finally, the left shoulder guard spiked up and had two layers of armor for added mobile protection. Not to mention, it looked cool.
"This is my T'soni armor mark one." I muttered, finishing my signature in the breastplate. It was probably stupid to sign whatever I created, but I wasn't about to let someone else take credit for something they wouldn't be able to do. I set it into its crate then and pulled out a set of turian Colossus armor. I didn't want to do this for Garrus, but letting him die would be unacceptable and petty. Besides, I could kill him myself if I really felt like it.
Just a few minute into it though, I felt a hand at my shoulder. I jumped at the unexpected touch and my entire body tensed up. I still hadn't been able to get my mind off of Shepard's expression and because of that I was too absorbed in it to pay attention. Letting someone sneak up on me was careless, but I didn't think anyone would stab me in the back yet. I felt the hand let go as soon as I had jumped as well, so I must've surprised them as well.
I turned myself around to see Shepard, still wearing my jacket, still carrying Ciria, looking nervous. I silently leaned against my table and crossed my arms, finding my emotions coming back. I didn't know why she would try talking to me since we'd just had an argument earlier.
"What?" I asked, keeping my tone civil. I could play at the 'forgetting game' if she really wanted to. I didn't want to, but if Shepard didn't want to talk to me anymore, than that was fine.
I was fine without her. Just fine.
…
Shepard hadn't been sure what to expect when she'd gotten back to the Normandy after finally finding what she'd been looking for, but this wasn't one she'd thought of. Raegas was being the same impersonal person she'd been since she'd woken up, but… it was as cold as it was when she'd first woken up, having no clue where she was. Shepard liked to think she'd at least warmed up a little since then, but it was as if she'd reverted back to it. Raegas just seemed cold and… gone. She was wearing a mask and it caused an unexpected stab of anxiety to twist in Shepard's gut.
"I know you probably don't want it, but it was the best I could find… well, strongest, anyway…" Shepard trailed off, handing Raegas the vial she'd been carrying. Said woman's brows lowered and her eyes narrowed slightly, but she took the vial. After examining it for a moment, she returned her gaze to Shepard. This time, it was less cold.
"Krogan sedative?" she asked, her eyes the only things reflecting her emotions at the moment. Shepard could see uncertainty, confliction and sadness in her eyes, but most of all, she saw… guilt?
"It was the strongest thing I could find. Maybe it can help you sleep." At her raised brow, Shepard held up her hands to keep her from speaking just yet. Raegas lowered her head and stared at the vial in her hand intently, seemingly thinking deeply.
"I'm not saying you have to take it; it's your choice. I just want to give you the option." She finished. Raegas' reaction was to her words was completely unexpected…
"Why do you care so much…? Is it so I can keep being your oracle? Is it so I can work on armor, giving my people's secrets to you? Is it-…?" her voice choked off at the end, and Shepard couldn't help the emotion tramping up her system, threatening to break from her.
Slowly, before she even knew what she was doing, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Raegas in a warm embrace. Surprisingly, she didn't react to the gesture at all.
"I care because I care about you." As the words escaped her mouth, Shepard realized how true they were. She hadn't known what she was feeling toward Raegas until just then, and it was ultimately relieving.
"I wouldn't care if you stopped being my 'oracle'. I wouldn't care if you stopped working on the armor, if you wanted to. I wouldn't mind if you didn't want to talk about your people anymore. I just want you to be you." She finished, resting her head on Raegas' shoulder. As she spoke, Raegas began to shake slightly as if struggling against tears. Shepard held her closer, savoring the contact that would, no doubt, end soon.
"Why…?" she whispered, tensing slightly.
"Because I can see who you are, as much as you try to hide it. You're kind, giving, patient… not to mention badass…" she said, trying to lighten the mood. Luckily, it paid off when Raegas relaxed a bit, blowing out a small laugh.
"I care about you, Raegas. That's why I want to help you." Shepard finished, looking upon the table behind Raegas. Unexpectedly, Raegas' arms came up and snaked around her waist. She held on tightly, still shaking, making Shepard smile in response.
"Dammit… now I can't be mad at you anymore." Raegas' first crack at humor made Shepard laugh quietly. She had had a feeling Raegas would be the sarcastic type. Dry senses of humor had always appealed to Shepard, coincidentally.
"I hope not." They parted then, and once Shepard finally got a look at Raegas' face, she realized she hadn't been struggling against tears; she'd been trying to keep quiet and pretend she wasn't. Shepard wiped the tears from Raegas' face with a smile, happy to see she wasn't trying to hide her emotions so much. She understood how straining it could be.
"This is so melodramatic." Raegas muttered, sniffing a bit. Shepard's smile widened.
"Maybe. But it's better than nothing." Shepard replied. She noticed how Raegas' cheeks were more rosy than usual, and how she seemed shifty as well. She hadn't expected her to be shy, but it was understandable given what she'd gone through.
"I guess… I'm just used to not feeling anything." She said, slipping back to her regular, masked self. Shepard tried not to show the disappointment on her face at it, but she couldn't expect Raegas to just let go of her barriers. Besides, she liked a challenge.
"It's alright. If you ever want to talk though, I'll be here." Shepard said. She got a small smile in return and a nod. She figured it was all she would get for now, so she departed, gratified to know Raegas wasn't angry any longer.
Just when she entered the elevator, she realized Raegas hadn't rejected the sedative. That brought a slightly triumphant smirk to the Commander's lips as the doors closed.
…
Eight hours later, I finally finished Garrus' armor. It didn't look drastically different from a regular set of turian armor, but it did have a better system than regular ones. Well, that was a given, wasn't it? Either way, I hadn't been able to get Shepard out of my head since the first day of shore leave. Now, it was just worse. Working was the only thing that kept me at least focused on something.
I felt a tug on my pants and looked down to see Ciria. Shepard had left her with me before she left eight hours earlier. She kept my jacket though… maybe she just forgot to give it back. I didn't really care, but it was strange. I bent down and filled her bowl of food, petting her to give her some sort of contact. Without my jacket I couldn't very well tote her around or let her snuggle.
"I don't know what to do, Ciria. I can't be friends with Shepard, but no matter what I do, she won't let me be." Ciria looked up at me questioningly to show I had her attention before she returned to her food.
"She says these things and I feel like fate is just giving me a punch to the face. If I become involved with her then my judgment will cloud over. As a result, I would ignore how it's supposed to happen, and… save her. I can't do that." I sighed, sitting down and leaning against the table's leg.
"Can't do what?" I glanced up and saw Kareck and Raja standing in the doorway.
A/N: I somehow feel as if this chapter is rather empty… It's not that nothing happened, but it wasn't as if much did happen, you know? Anyway, review or PM me and tell me your opinion on anything, or if you have any questions and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.
