SDisclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Lancel's wife had a secret, a heavy cross to bear. Lancel would not let her be crushed by any burden ever again.

Author's note: A huge thank you to Assassin Master Ezio 91 who helped in making the chapter guide and in brainstorming with me !

Author's note 2: English isn't my first language, it's french. If you see any mistake or issue with the language, feel free to tell me so that I can improve.

WARNING! THIS FANFICTION CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS SEXUALITY AND ABUSE. IF THESE TRIGGER YOU, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FANFICTION. THANK YOU.

Lost and found

Chapter 12

Amerei watched over her child, who had fallen asleep fast. She and Lancel got on so well! He was a fine father to her baby girl, always patient, not losing his cool, always fair, always ready to help her. She had found them sitting in the living room, Lancel next to her, watching patiently as he tried to teach her her letters. Her handwritting was shaky, still she knew her alphabet already. She had found them watching a Disney movie together. She had found them baking cookies, the same he used to bake with his own mother as a child. She had found him braiding her hair in the morning. He had stepped in so fast and so easily it was almost supernatural. It was as if Lancel was born to be a father, as if he had that in his blood ever since he came into the world. His affection for Ashleigh was genuine. She felt guilty on several levels. She had imposed that fatherhood on him. She had imposed her sterility on him. And he was doing a better job with a stranger's child than herself, the birth mother. Amerei loved her daughter, she loved her to death but she always felt awkward around her, she didn't know how to act, keeping in mind she couldn't baby her because she was already four years old. She was afraid she didn't have what it took to be a proper mother. Was it because she had been robbed of her chance from the start? She didn't know, but it lingered in her mind and she felt awful. Lancel had done so many things for a child that wasn't even his! He had found her, he had fought for her and now, he was raising her. All while her, the biological mother, was clueless with her own blood.

"It's late, you should go to bed." Lancel quietly told her as he saw her in the child's room

"I just can't believe she's here after so many years... I... I'm afraid they'll come back to take her away from us."

He hugged her from behind.

"Brienne never had any complaints to report about Ashleigh's wellfare." He explained

"I can still see her face when Ashleigh gave her a drawing she had made." She replied

"Yes, and I wish I could have seen Jaime's face when Brienne gave him the drawing Ashleigh did for him."

Amerei kept looking at her child, studying her face, the shape of her nose, how she had wrapped herself in the sheets, holding her cub close, a cub she had named Lany, unaware it had been Lancel's nickname for years, back when Janei couldn't say his name properly.

"In an ideal world, she woud have been yours..." She whispered to her spouse

"To me, she is. Ami, I... Only if you and Ashleigh agree of course... But..."

She looked at him, surprised. He had reverted to his shy self, it occurred so rarely she had assumed that part of him died as he had gained confidence over the years. What he had to say was big.

"I'd like to legally adopt Ashleigh. Make her my daughter."

"You'd go that far? I can't tell you who her father is and your family..."

"Does not control my life anymore. I don't care about her birth father, she's your child and that's all that matters to me. Had you been able to raise her, I would have met the both of you and nothing would have changed, I would have married you."

"Ashleigh couldn't have a better father than you."

XXXXX

"Why adopting me? I live here."

The idea of being adopted by someone who lived with her was confusing the little girl's mind.

"Right now, you have your mommy's name when she wasn't married. Because, when you were born, she wasn't married to anyone. But now, she is."

"But why adopting me?"

"Because I love you as much as I would love my children. Adopting you means I want to be your daddy."

"You want to be my daddy?"

Lancel nodded. Amerei observed them and once again, he was handling the situation much better than she would have. He was sitting at her level, explaining with carefully chosen words, words she could understand, knowing the whole adoption thing could have scared her. He answered her questions so easily!

"Will I have to call you Daddy?"

"You can continue calling me Lancel, if you wish."

"I like you. You're nice. You look like a prince. You can be my daddy."

Amerei laughed at the prince mention as she saw Lancel's skeptical eyes. But it was true, to a four years old girl, Lancel was tall, strong, handsome, kind and to Ashleigh, he was also the one who saved her. He was a prince. To Amerei herself, he was her king, her rock, her soulmate.

Lancel was the center of her world.

XXXXX

"Daddy, look! Fishes!" Ashleigh exclaimed, pointing at them

Amerei smiled as Lancel accompanied their daughter closer to the pond where they could see them better. The adoption paperwork had been easy and quick to fill in and to be accepted. She wondered if the trial that gained Ashleigh's freedom had any part in it, if Brienne's good reports helped. She even wondered if Kevan had an hand in it to make the process even faster. Ashleigh was officially Lancel's daughter, Ashleigh Dorna Lannister. Genna, Lancel's aunt, had been so excited she had organized a big party to welcome Ashleigh in the family, a party attended by only those who supported Lancel's decision. Amerei felt relief at the idea that her daughter didn't have any Frey things left to slow her down. Now, all the Frey she had, she had from her and her only. She was still surprised by how quickly her child had grow to love Lancel and how fast she had been in calling her "Daddy".

Everything was perfect in every way, expect her own motherly faults.

That, and that illness that still lingered in her, despite her best efforts.

XXXXX

"I'm worried I am not the mother she deserves, I feel so... Disconnected..." She confessed as Lancel and her laid naked under their sheets.

"You have been seperated from her for years, it takes a bit of time to adjust." He tried to comfort her

"You adjusted immediately."

"I didn't go through the traumas you went through. You are a great mother, Ami. You care for her. You love her. You are concerned for her. You do already more than some mothers around. And Ashleigh loves you. This morning, she told me she wanted her hair to be like yours because you're pretty. That kid has good taste."

"You flattering boy."

"Ami... Has the doctor say anything yet?"

She could feel he was growing worried. She wasn't particulary sick, but she had waves of retch and exhaustion, she had even lost weight while she felt bigger around the waist.

"He has more tests to run."

"If it was anything serious, you would tell me, right?"

"Of course, I'd tell you."

She nestled herself against him and let herself be craddled into sleep by his warm and soothing presence.

To Be Continued