Coming Home

~insanity and co~

Chapter Twelve: "Down the rabbit hole."

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tolkien here. By chapter twelve on a site for FANfiction, I think we should have that covered. Let's just skip this little portion, yeah? Or I guess I need to "officially" state that this applies to every chapter that will be posted on this story. Onto the good stuff!


"This place is fantastic!" I said to Cody, not worried about being overheard by the dwarves anymore since they were all now...uh, occupied. It was clear when we entered the elven city that they were wary of everything around them - probably even the stone under their feet! - but Thorin had decided that we could stay for a little while. After that was all said and done, we had been somewhat welcomed by the elves, and by that I mean reluctantly...very reluctantly.

And now I understood why the elves had not wanted to welcome so many dwarves into their city.

At the time, when I had been craning my neck to see where Gandalf, Lord Elrond, and Thorin stood, it sounded as if all the dwarves were horribly tortured over the idea of staying in the company of elves. Grumbles, swearing, and I could have sworn I saw Gloin spit at one of the elves who came too close.

But now, however, all worries were clearly forgotten. I could hear loud splashes behind us and screams that were shockingly girlish and gleeful for how deep they were, but I refused to turn around. I knew fully-well the sight that would blind me for a second time. I stood with Cody on a balcony that faced the large open valley and gave us the last glimpse of the sun as it went down. It was exactly where we were left when the company went (literally) streaking to a large fountain that apparently could also serve as a massive bath and pool.

"It is great," Cody whispered, his back to the sunset and his attention elsewhere.

When I turned to look at him I immediately slapped his shoulder and snorted; a knee-jerk reaction that had been learned after years of being around him. "You're looking?"

"Uhh, yeah," he said with a grin, taking just a small step away as if I would smack him again...which I probably would before the company was finished with their current activities. "Not at all of them, Holls. Just a few. Just a select...few..." He trailed off.

"You're disgusting."

"And you're missing a wonderful opportunity."

"To be a peeping Tom?"

"They're not exactly hiding anything. If you bath in public you should know what to expect." He shrugged a shoulder, the deed already justified in his mind.

"I don't think they can expect anything that comes from you. Do they even have homosexuality here? You might get stoned to death."

"Think they've got weed here?"

"That's what you heard? Stoned but not dea-"

"Don't ruin this moment," he said in a rush, waving a hand in my direction.

"How am I ruining this moment?"

"You're talking," he said, eyes fixed ahead of him and his hand making a 'jabber jabber' motion in the air. I slapped it away, but he barely seemed to notice. Groooooosssss.

There was a cough and I spun around, groaning again because I could see them just behind Lord Elrond and another elf. I covered my eyes quickly and peaked again after a moment of preparation, trying very hard not to laugh because standing in front of a fountain full of naked, hairy, screaming dwarves was an impossibly elegant man...staring at Cody with a look I could only describe as 'wtf'. And the poor man beside him looked even more horrified.

Cody, oh bless his heart, didn't notice a thing, and continued to watch the dwarves with unblinking eyes. Lord Elrond could have been doing the Charleston dance and he wouldn't have batted an eyelash.

"You'll - uh - have to excuse him. Sorry," I added, shooting Cody a dirty look that he didn't see.

"I have grown accustomed to excusing the actions of dwarves, My Lady. Our ways and customs are very different from those of Thorin Oakenshield's company, and leniency will be granted during your stay." Lord Elrond's posture was elegant, his voice was elegant...damn, even his words were elegant. Right down to calling me "My Lady" with a small bow of his head.

I hadn't seen them up close when they had first greeted the company because I was pushed to the back as always and my new height made seeing anything a struggle, but now I got a good look at them both. Small braids pulled their dark hair away from their faces and they had the same characteristics of the other elves I had seen as we came into Rivendell; tall, thin, creamy skin, sharp features. All screaming poise and properness and here I stood, hairy bare feet tracking mud over his clean city, clothes a tattered mess, and I didn't even want to see the state of my hair.

"While your friends are bathing, I would like to see that your arm is taken care of," Lord Elrond said, paying no more mind to Cody and the dwarves behind him even though the other dwarf still had a look of complete horror on his uncomfortably beautiful face.

"My arm?" I asked, twisting my arm and craning my neck to see the back where I could feel just a slight breeze cooling my warm skin. It stung and burned but it had only been a scratch. A flesh wound, I wanted to say but kept my mouth shut tight. The company already knew how different Cody and I were, there was no need to go spouting off Monty Python references.

"I assure you, I am able to do the proper stitching and I believe I have a salve that will keep away infections." He stood to the side and motioned for me to follow and - oh god, no - allowed me the full view of Dwalin, bare as he could be though still bear-like with all his hair, stand at the top of the fountain. A loud scream and splash later and I was more than willing to follow Lord Elrond anywhere.

"I'll be right back. Cody? Codes?" I waved a hand in front of his face to grab his attention but I was clearly not wanted, and swatted away like a fly. "Fine."

"This way," Lord Elrond said after speaking a few words to the other elf in a language I couldn't understand, taking slow steps to accommodate my smaller strides. "It will not take long, and dinner will be ready just over here in a moment." He pointed to a large open area with a few tables and strikingly beautiful elves setting white table clothes on the surfaces. I almost wanted to say that white was not such a good idea - I had seen how the dwarves ate at Bilbo's house - but decided that it would just have to be another bit of leniency added to the list; table clothes destroyed beyond repair.

"How is it that your companions managed to evade the orc pack without injury, but you did not?"

Heroic battle? Story of Holly saving the day? Wonderful swordsmanship saving the lives of the Company? No, of course my mind wouldn't come up with anything interesting to say. Even tripping over a branch would have been better than the truth, but there was something to Lord Elrond's words and questioning glance...he did not mean to tease or provoke me as Cody always did.

The truth spilled out. "I can't run very fast."

He hmm'ed and smiled just a little bit, thankfully keeping his gaze ahead so he wouldn't see my face go just a little red.

"Gandalf has told me all he knows of the journey," Lord Elrond started, turning to stare down at me with a knowing look. "Specifically of how you and your friend came to be in the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

"Right. Well, I've told him everything I remember. He said there might be people in Middle Earth who could help us get back home."

"I do not know how you came to be here, but I do know that you and your friend are not the first beings to travel here from another world. You already knew of this?" Lord Elrond asked, beautifully arched eyebrow questioning me as much as his words did.

"When we were in the troll caves, I did find something." I fished around in my back pocket, pulling out the quarter. It rested in my hand, nearly as big as my palm and the coin warm against my skin. I handed it to him when he reached forward and let him look at it. He flipped it over and over as we walked, looking more "to scale" in his large hands than it had in my own.

It was almost comical, watching an elf twist a piece of pocket change between his fingers so carefully, like it would fall apart. There was how much sitting between the cushions of my couch at home? That stuff was sat on daily and this single coin, having traveled to another world with somebody, meant so much more than a quarter of a load of laundry.

"I have never seen such a thing before."

"It's a quarter. Only a small bit of money back home but I had none in my pockets when I came here and Cody always keeps his change in his man-purse." That earned me a weird look, but thankfully the tall elf didn't question what a man-purse was.

Lord Elrond gave me back the quarter and I flipped it around, watching the dull light shine off of ole George's profile.

"Step through here," he said, stopping abruptly and opening a door and I had to back-peddle, my mind on the coin in my hand instead of where we were walking. He smiled and I followed him inside a small building, much larger inside than it had appeared from the outside. The walls were lined with beds and chairs, everything clean and white and sterile; a small hospital.

"I'm going to warn you now, I don't like needles," I said, but he didn't respond in any way, only shutting the door behind us and a freakish, nervous laugh escaped before I could stop myself.

"Please sit here and remove your coat." Lord Elrond motioned to a chair with a sweep of his arm and I did as I was told, throwing the cloak and my jacket over the back of the very tall chair. I had to hoist myself up much like I had to when I was a child, and my feet didn't even touch the ground. That hadn't happened in years and years!

I swung my legs while I waited, listening but not looking while Lord Elrond grabbed things from a few cupboards and drawers. Before long he set a silver tray on the bed beside me and my heart immediately leapt up into my throat. There was a needle. Hadn't I just said I didn't like needles? He went and put one right under my nose!

"The cut is not terribly deep, but it is long." Oh yay, several stitches! I thought and grit my teeth so I wouldn't let loose one of those terrible laughs that I couldn't control when I was really nervous.

I looked away when he picked up the needle, taking a piece of thread and setting it up like he was going to sew up a ripped pair of jeans. I picked at my own pants, dirty, tattered...no tears but they were clearly worser for wear than they had been back home. There was a patch of frayed material higher on my thigh and I busied myself with that because I was not freaking out in the slightest.

"Please face that way," he said, pointing away from himself and I gulped.

This was it. The moment I would become a pincushion.

"You said we were not the only ones to travel here from a strange world?" I asked, my words a blurred rush because I wanted something to focus on other than the anticipation.

"Yes, I did. Not long ago I met a woman who had found herself lost in the woods not far from here. She was of the race of man, though we knew she did not belong to either Gondor or Rohan - the two largest cities of man," he added. Something cold brushed against the back of my arm and it felt like my skin had been set on fire. I jerked away without even thinking about it but his large hand held my shoulder and kept me in my chair before I could bolt. "It is just an ointment to clean the wound before I begin."

"Oh, right." I laughed nervously. "So you said it wasn't long ago? Would we be able to go and find her?"

"I am afraid I misspoke. It was not long ago in the lifespan of an elf; it was perhaps three hundred years ago. Because she was of the race of man, she is not alive today." She was gone. She had been gone for a long time, and the large quarter in my hand suddenly felt like a death sentence than a glimpse of hope. If she spent her entire life trying to get home and couldn't, what did that mean for me and Cody?

"So we probably won't get home either." The words slipped out and the hand was on my shoulder again, a comforting pat that did little to ease my growing anxiety.

"It is not always so black and white, even if it sometimes seems so." A sharp pain on the back of my arm made it difficult for me to focus on Lord Elrond's words, so I just listened to his voice and breathed deeply. He had already seen me in panic-mode, no need for him to see me pass out.

"But back home, are we dead or just in a coma? Do you think it's possible that we are still alive at home?" I turned, only able to get a glimpse of Lord Elrond's face - brows drawn together in concentration - when another stab from the needle distracted me. I gripped the quarter in my hand hard. "Honestly," I added.

"My honest opinion would only be an opinion. I have no past experiences to base this off of."

"Shoot."

"I do not believe a soul of one being can live in two bodies." The words were firm and no longer comforting - it was the cold, hard truth. We were either alive here, or we were alive there. And by the pounding of my heart and the painful stabs that sent my stomach flipping and flopping, I was clearly alive here. "Just one more."

When the stitching was finally done (and boy did that feel like an eternity of cringing and trying very hard to sit still) Lord Elrond set a now-tinged-red needle back on the tray and grabbed the bandages. The wrapping went by quickly and though it burned to have the fabric pressed against the wound, whatever ointment he had put on after the stitching made my skin feel less feverish.

"You may take this with you when you and your companions decide to leave. Put a thin layer of this over the wound once a day, and try to keep it clean." Those last words were said with a knowing smile and I was left blushing, embarrassed because once more I realized how absolutely filthy I was.

I grabbed the tin from his hands and popped it open. There was a white paste that didn't smell particularly pleasant, but I smiled and slipped it into the pocket of my jacket and grabbed both my thin coat and the cloak from the back of the chair. "Thank you."

"Please do not feel disheartened, My Lady." I hopped down to my feet and gently moved my arm around, testing the wrappings to see how far I could move. "There is no telling whether or not you and your friend will get home."

Well, it wasn't exactly a pep-talk - I wasn't sure what that was - but I left the small room/hospital with a tight smile, a polite nod, and thanked Lord Elrond again for helping. I wandered back the way we had come, this time able to appreciate the beauty of Rivendell as I walked. Large pillars and beautiful marble walls made it difficult to tell whether I was indoors or out, weaving through the hallways and getting glimpses of the horizon, darker now that the sun had gone down. I hadn't been paying that much attention to which ways we had turned, but as I walked aimlessly I could hear screams and shouts and fists slamming on tabletops...sounds that I had grown accustomed to meaning the dwarves were having a blast.

And this meant that the elves were not.

I found out immediately that I had been right; white was not the best color for table clothes when dwarves were involved. Food was flying and Bofur was standing on the table, dancing, singing, and kicking a massive bowl of lettuce at the elves. The poor creatures still tried to play their music over the chanting and screaming, harp and flutes just barely audible over the noise.

And there was Cody, grinning from ear to ear and screaming, slamming his fists on the table in time with Bofur's singing and clapping. When he saw me standing in the entrance he motioned quickly for me to take the seat next to him.

Well, I guess when there aren't naked hairy men to ogle at, suddenly I was worthy of his attention.

I took the seat, this one not too high and the tip of my toes actually touched the ground. Once I was by his side, Cody was screaming and chanting and stomping his feet on the ground again, taking a long drink from a mug that sloshed just a little when he slammed it down. Well that made sense. He was only super-duper-uber excited to see me when it meant a drinking buddy.

Having survived the orc pack attack, gotten my arm stitched up (and sat still during most of it!), and learned that we are most likely stuck here forever all in one day...I deserved a drink!

When Cody's head was back and he was letting out of those god-aweful hiccuping laughs at something Dwalin said I grabbed his mug, having none of my own, and took a long sip. Over the brim I saw Bombur grin and I smiled back, setting the cup on my other side and glancing over to see if Cody had noticed.

This couldn't have been his first drink, because he didn't find a thing out of place. He was listening intently to something Dori, Ori, and Nori were saying, though I couldn't make out any of it over the general noise. Dwalin's laugh was lower than the rest and louder too, and whatever Oin had just said was apparently hilarious because everyone's words were drowned by his laughter.

There wasn't much food to eat that hadn't been mangled by their hands, so I picked through what I could find on the table, looking around to see that the elf who had met us on the balcony with Lord Elrond stood with a tight-lipped smile, eyes worried as he watched more and more food fly through the air.

It felt wonderful to just sit. No more running or dodging crazy nightmare-ish creatures or sliding into dark caves. I picked at some food and drank the rest of Cody's drink - some sort of light, fruity wine - and watched in half-amusement-half-horror as the dwarves completely destroyed the dining area.

One thing I hadn't taken into account, though, was the fact that I was also coming down from an adrenaline high. That, coupled with the wine, meant that when I stood to reach forward and grab a plate of almost untouched salad I had...difficulties.

I tripped quite spectacularly and knocked a few plates off the table, earning a glare from the elf behind the harp and a round of laughter from the dwarves.

"I think you may have had enough," Bofur said with a laugh when I found my seat again, grabbing my - Cody's - mug of wine and downing the rest in a few gulps.

"I wasn't done with that!" I yelled, realizing too late that my voice was a little too loud...but also noticing that there was a mug just across the table. Well, if they weren't going to guard their cups, should they be surprised when I take them? I reached across when I saw that Kili was turning and talking to Dwalin, and quickly grabbed it. Nori let out a loud laugh and raised his own mug, but other than that I hadn't thought anybody noticed.

That was, until Bofur grabbed it again.

"Stop that!" I yelled, but he had already downed half of my - Kili's - wine and he clearly wasn't listening.

I glanced around the table again because surely there were more mugs that weren't under strict supervision. Fili's was pushed closer to the middle of the table, just beside Kili, and I waited, trying very hard not to grin when he turned and I leaned forward to grab it.

Quick as a blink, I grabbed his mug but before I could drag it back to my side of the table he turned and grabbed it, holding it in place and with his free hand grabbing Bifur's drink beside him.

"Drink slowly," he said with a grin and grabbed my wrist, taking my hand off his drink and putting Bifur's stolen one in mine.

"I can hold my wine!" I took a drink and smiled, feeling the warmth spread and I was finally relaxing. More food was flying and I barely managed to dodge a chunk of something that came flying from Ori and Dori.

"Hey! Where's mine?" Kili yelled out, turning from his conversation with Dwalin to find that his mug was long-gone, one amongst the several in front of Bofur.

I shrugged, drinking my own (stolen) mug of wine and nodding to Bofur beside me who sat with a wide grin, eyes just a little unfocused and several empty cups in front of him.

Kili yelled out and threw a handful of something runny at Bofur, who was too slow to react and got a face-full of I-don't-want-to-know-what. The entire table erupted into laughter and fists pounding on tables and heavy boots stomping on the ground.

The destruction of the dwarves was no longer a worry in my mind. We were safe, we were comfortable again, and we were alive.


Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's still supporting this story with wonderful amounts of favorites/follows and reviews. I appreciate them all and while it's easier to reply to reviews, it's difficult to say thank you to each person who favorites/follows. So you get that here. :) THANK YOU!