A dull chill was in the air from the moment she awoke. It didn't seem so significant at the time, given the time of year it was, but as the realisation came as to exactly what day it was the feeling sunk in. It was Christmas Eve and she hadn't bought any presents for any of the kids. How was she going to pull off a Happy Christmas at this rate? She rolled over and kissed Joseph awake. He responded immediately by dragging her on top of him. His hands were everywhere as his lips slowly moved down her neck. Her body reacted to the feel of his. It had been so long since she had felt anything like this that for a moment she was overwhelmed. Only for a moment though because the next thing she knew there was a knock on the door.
"Mum," came Elexus' voice from the hall. "Can I talk to you?"
She sat up in bed and Joseph gave a sigh of disappointment, it was always the way though. Stephanie moved to the door and opened it and there was her eldest daughter looking up at her; sad, confused eyes darkening her usually beautiful face.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" Stephanie asked.
"I'm not sure of anything anymore. It's just all so confusing! I don't know what to think of anything. Who am I? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? Nothing makes sense!!"
In bowels of the bedroom Joseph could tell that his little girl was in a state. He'd never heard her so distressed. He threw on his dressing gown and followed the two down to the kitchen where they sat at the kitchen table.
"Is it because of last night?" Stephanie asked.
There was a moment of indecision on Elexus' face before she answered. "Mostly. But I've been feeling like this for a while in increasing waves of severity. Mum what's wrong with me?"
Joseph just leaned against the counter top watching the two women, seeing how they dealt with the problem at hand. He had decided after the Zaniel thing he'd decided he needed to be more involved in his children's lives. Not just encouraging them to fulfil their dreams and driving them here and there. He needed to be the type of father they felt comfortable confiding in. He just hoped it wasn't too late.
His girls were already well on their way to being young women and were likely to shut him out of their life, but he had to try to make a connection. For their sake and his own.
Stephanie wasn't always going to be there for them to talk to about their problems, he realised, and Elexus can't be expected to pick up the slack that is supposed to be his. She has her own life to live. It was time she got out there and lived it.
"Nothing is wrong with you, Lexy. You're perfect. What makes you think there's something wrong with you? And when did this first start?"
Maybe I should be
taking notes, Joe thought.
"Well, I hear about all the stuff that is said behind my back and it's almost always negative. I mean, I thought they liked me. The voted me student captain, didn't they? But everyday I hear the stuff they say when they think nobody is listening and it makes me wonder if I am as normal as I think I am. Why is it so wrong to be an individual, Mum? Why do the majorities pick on people who can think for themselves?"
Stephanie's brow furrowed as she listened to her daughter ramble. This wasn't at all like the girl she had raised. How much of her baby's life had she missed out on by fixating herself on the past? What had possessed her to ignore the present in the first place? The situation was mind boggling.
"Baby, listen to me. You are who you are meant to be. You will be successful and they will end up working for you one day and then they will see how well it does you to be an individual."
Joseph, still standing on the sidelines of the conversation had a revelation. "Does this have anything to do with Zaniel breaking up with you?" he asked.
Stephanie gave him a look of exasperation, telling him he was an idiot for bringing up the subject. Having been through high school herself and been dumped numerous times Stephanie knew that this was exactly what Elexus' real problem was, but she knew better than to mention it, because as she knew would happen if the guys name was mentioned, Elexus had started crying.
Joseph decided that he had best stay on the sidelines where he belonged until he was properly schooled in the art of parenthood.
It took almost an hour to calm Elexus down and convince her that the world wasn't going to end because one insignificant guy had dumped her. By this time Nathaniel had come down and was sitting on Stephanie's lap gazing at Elexus with curiosity.
Elexus knew what he was doing, and she didn't mind. He was too young to understand anyway. Although it did upset him a bit to know that Elexus was upset, he didn't show it as much as a normal five year old would.
