In A Blaze of Trouble: Pt 1
It had been some time since the incident with the hyena biker gang and Team Sonic was finally getting around to cleaning up the mess that they had left behind on the surface of Knothole Village. But it was during their cleaning up of the place that Tails happened to drop a particularly shocking piece of information that he had heard from Princess Sally.
"Cats? You mean, we are going to help cats?" Sonic asked eye twitching in disbelief. "And not just one a whole freaking kingdom of them."
"Sonic, they really need our help." Tails protested. "The cats of Down Unda have asked us to send representatives to speak on their behalf in a conflict with another tribe."
"The poor little kitties need our help, so they don't get ripped to pieces by those big old mean dogs." Bunny added. "We can't just ignore a request for help."
"Excuse me, these are cats we're talking about here. And in case you haven't noticed Bunny, the four of us are prey of choice."
"Hey, I'm not a prey of choice." Knuckles replied. "I'm a monotreme, whatever that means."
"Go lay an egg." Sonic answered. "You're still cat food if they get their claws on you."
"Um, normally I'm not one to panic but Sonic may have a point this time." Amy replied nervously. "Why don't we just let Tails go and handle this?"
"I'm going to be busy talking with the canine side of things, Amy." Tails answered stepping into the room wearing a headdress full of feather "and I'm bringing the perfect ambassador to a tribe of dogs."
"Hello, my friends. It's good to see all of you again." The tall and regal form of a wolf maiden appeared. "I've been asked to speak to the wild dog tribe on the cat's behalf."
"So wait, we don't even get to take Tails with us to keep them at bay?" Sonic groaned putting his hand to his forehead. "What we really need is a cat who knows the lay of the land and speaks their lingo." Suddenly, a frog came hopping through the brush into the open field they were standing in. They heard the sound of loud footsteps coming towards them as the ground began to shake.
"Whoa, what's happening? Is this an earthquake?" Knuckles asked in confusion. "Or did somebody install a vibrator in the ground?"
"There you are, Fwoggy." A large purple cat said barreling in and chasing the frog. "I've been looking everywhere for you."
"Ah, Big. What are you doing here?" Sonic asked in confusion. "How the heck did you get here from the city?"
"I followed Fwoggy onto the magical flying Frisbee with wings." He replied pointing towards the Sky Patrol. "Then, if floated into the sky and took me and Fwoggy with it."
"Well it looks like we got our ambassador to the cat folk." Knuckles said with a smile, patting Big on the shoulder.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Oh, we're going to the Big Cat Country." Amy told him. "We need you to help speak on our behalf."
"Wait, you want me to go home?" Big answered, raising his hands and shaking his head. "But they are really mean, they sent me away because they said I was an imbec-imbec- because I was dumb."
"Don't worry, Big. I don't think you're dumb." Knuckles answered putting his arm around him. "In fact, you are one of the smartest cats I ever met. In fact, I bet you still have all nine of your lives."
"Gee, this place is still a big mess." Amy told the others looking around. "Why don't the four of you go and help the cats out while Bunny and I stay here and clean this mess up?"
"Sounds good to me." Tails replied motioning towards the Sky Patrol. "Come on, everyone. Let's head for Down Unda."
As the Sky Patrol was headed away from West Side, a figure seated at a desk watched them leave on a monitor.
"Damn, that blue spike ball is going to mess up one of my plans again." A blue fist slammed down onto the desk. "The only thing I hate worse than a business deal going sour is getting a run in my fish nets." Looking up from her monitor, she barked out an order. "Miss Possum, get in here on the double." Breezy commanded. "I need you to send word to Fang the sniper and his goons about dealing with a group of meddling heroes."
"Oh that is not good." Her secretary sighed, shaking her head. "You know how much extra that wacky weasel charges for dealing with meddling heroes."
"At least, we don't have to pay a triple fee for dealing with a meddling dog too." Breezy said with a sigh thinking of her ever-shrinking checking account. "Tell Fang to have an extra special surprise waiting for Sonic and his friends."
As the Sky Patrol sped over the dry deserts and mesas of Down Unda, Sonic looked out the window in wonderment.
"Wow, this island looks so dry." Sonic exclaimed. "How can anyone or anything live here?"
"Oh they manage to, Sonic. Some mobian tribes are just stronger than others." Knuckles boasted slapping his hand against his chest. "My people first came from these lands before we migrated to Angel Island."
While Sonic, Knuckles, and Big were on the Sky Patrol's bridge, Tails and Lupe were getting on board the tornado and flying out the carrier's open hanger.
"Good luck you two, and see if you can talk some sense into those dumb dogs." Sonic added shaking his head.
"Boy, I really wish we were going with them instead of talking to the hairball spitters." Knuckles commented.
"Don't worry, my people don't spit hairballs." Big declared scratching under his chin. "We just cough 'em up."
"Gee, that's sure helpful to know." Knuckles replied rolling his eyes. "I'll be sure to remember the difference while being grossed out."
As the Tornado pulled off and headed west, the Sky Patrol veered northward flying towards the Northern tip of the island.
"I'm going to try to set us down near Mt. Warning." Sonic declared pulling back on the stick. "It shouldn't be too much trouble to find a smooth landing spot there."
"Are you sure how to land this thing, Sonic?" Knuckles asked skeptically. "I mean, heck, do you even know how to fly it?"
"Relax, Knucklehead. I've seen Tails and Amy land it enough time to know how to do it." Sonic replied moving the stick around like if he was playing a videogame. "Besides, out of the three of us, I think I'm the one most likely not to crash. Easy as pie."
"Hahaha, I like pie." Big responded. Suddenly, Sonic pulled way back on the control stick and the carrier went into a massive dive.
"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU ARE TO LAND IT!" Knuckles shouted grabbing a hold of the stick. "Here let me show you how to get it to the ground."
"Get your hands off, Knucklehead!" Sonic shouted back as the two fought over the controls. Finally, both yanked on the stick into separate directions at once and it came loose and broke off from the console. The two mobians looked at each other before looking back out the window.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The two of them shouted putting their hands against the glass.
"Bye-bye Fwoggy, we'll go fishing in heaven." Big stated. They crash into the large trees getting caught in the vines.
"I don't believe it. We're alive." Sonic declared pushing the hatch open and looking around at the surrounding jungle. "I can't believe you managed to not kill us with that stupid move."
"Me!? You're the one who pulled on the stick too hard." Knuckles complained yelling back angrily. "I can't believe you thought you could this thing on your own."
"I can't believe Tails let me land this thing on my own." Sonic replied.
"Are we there yet? I think Fwoggy's got to go." Big said. Sonic jumped out of the open hatch and hopped from tree to tree down to the ground.
"The coast looks clear down here guys." Sonic yelled back up to the crashed carrier. "You both can come on down now."
"Cannonball." Knuckles yelled jumping out of the plane and gliding down to the surface. "Boy, Sonic you wish you could get down like that."
"Eh, I prefer to jump my way through things rather than rely on fancy falling." Sonic answered scratching his nose. "Say, how do you think Big is going to come down."
"WEEEEEE!" Big stated. He came down with a bond. "Huh, where did you two go?"
"Oww…" Sonic and Knuckles groaned in unison. Getting up, Big noticed his two flattened friend laying there in a heap. Pulling themselves back to their feet, the two mobians looked around at their surroundings. Noticing that there was nothing but jungle for miles around, the trio tried to figure out what to do next.
"Say anybody know where we can find a payphone?" Knuckles asked.
"Like OhMyGawd, what was that crash I like totally heard over here?" a feminine voice called out from the nearby eylcaptaus trees. "It like so totally sounds like a stampede of shoppers at the mall. Krickey for sure." Suddenly, a bucksome koala mobian in a cleavage showing unitard and red boots came out running a file across her claws as if disinterested. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe two hunks and a fatso so totally dropped out of the sky."
"Uh, who are you?" Sonic asked raising an eyebrow.
"My name's like Barbie Koala." She replied extending a hand to the confused trio. "And I'm like so totally the leader of the Down Unda Freedom Fighters."
"Really? There's a group here in Down Unda?" Sonic asked taking her hand and shaking it. "How many of there are you? How long have you been fighting the Robotniks?"
"Well, there's like me, and there's like me." She replied tapping her finger on her chin as she thought. "And I so totally like never fought against badniks or anything, but I did like write a protest song against Robotnik's evil rule. Really awesome huh."
"Oh, that's great." Knuckles replied, shaking his head. "It's so good to know the Down Unda Freedom Fighters are doing their part against evil."
"'Cuse me pretty lady." Big asked walking right up to here. "Could you show us where the kitty cats live?"
"Ohmygosh, you mean the Big Cat Tribe? Like I can show totally take you to their village." Barbie replied putting one arm around Big and the other around Knuckles. "You two hunks can come with me." She looked back at Sonic narrowing her eyes. "You can come too, fatty."
"I… wait… what!?" Sonic asked in disbelief, his jaw hanging open.
"Oh don't worry, I so totally don't mind being seen with an ugly dude like you. But just try to walk behind the three of us when we go into the village. Oh and pretend you don't know me."
"I don't know you anyway." Sonic replied angrily following behind them.
"So, what's nice little koala like you doing out in a dangerous place like this?" Knuckles asked, with a smile on his face.
"You're concerned for my safety? That's so totally nice of you." Barbie replied. "Well, I like come out here because it's got the best leaves I'm kinda a gourmet, you know? Anyway, I so totally hate all the noise and pollution in the city. So, I like came out here to live totally next to nature and stuff."
"Oh, she smart lady." Big declared. "She speaks with big words."
"You are such a flatterer." Barbie replied giving the fat cat a peck on the cheek. "You like so much nicer than that fatty back there."
"I CAN RUN FASTER THAN HE CAN!" Sonic yelled zipping around the trio three times. Then, he stopped. "See I told you."
"Uh, Sonic. I think you're sinking." Knuckles told him.
"AHHH!" The blue hedgehog yelled in a panic starting to flail about. "This stuff is worse than water. Somebody get me out of here."
"We like so totally got to get that poor blue fatty out of there." Barbie exclaimed, looking up at Big pleadingly. "You like have any ideas?"
"Big help." The giant cat walked over to a deeply rooted jungle tree as thick around as he was. Grabbing it with both hands, he ripped the entire tree out of the ground, roots and all; he held it out over the quicksand. "Go out and help him, red guy."
"I'm on it, Big guy." Knuckles stated running out the trunk and reaching for Sonic's hand from the branches. "Here fatty, grab my hand and us hunks will help you out."
"I AM NOT FAT!" Sonic barked out, reaching for the hand above him.
As the hero slowly slipped down into the quicksand, a pair of shifty eyes watched him through a set of binoculars.
"Well, looks like the hedgehog made it to the outback." A familiar weasel grinned. "Guess we'll have to roll out the welcome mat."
"Wow, he made it to the Outback?" Bark asked. "Shouldn't we be polite and get him a steak or something?"
"Never mind, yous nitwit." Nac yelled punching him in the gut without actually doing anything. "I wish you'd keep you stupidity to yourself."
"Haha, the big dumb bear's an idiot." Bean declared laughing manically as he tossed a dynamite stick up in the air over and over again. "Help, Bark's talking and he can't shut up."
"Would both of yous be quiet? I think this might be our big chance a gettin' rid of the hedgehog once and for all." Nac turned back to Bean. "Hey birdbrain, gimme one of your boomsticks."
"Here you go, boss. One big packed up tube of gunpowdery goodness." Bean handed him a stick. "Really tasty to chew on but the bang is murder on your teeth."
"Well then, we're gonna make sure those goody-goods don't interfere with Miss Breezy's plans." The weasel stated. Nac reached into his holster and pulled out a large gun-like weapon. Loading the dynamite stick into the barrel, he cocked the weapon and took aim at the four mobians struggling with the quicksand. But Nac looked at his weapon, he began to hear a voice whispering in his head.
"Boy, you can miss this shot, Nakky-boy." The voice told him jeering. "If you can pull this one off, Miss Breezy is sure to reward you very nicely."
"I-I… I don't know Fang." Nac said hesitantly. The gun starting to shake in his hands. "I'm not really sure if I like the idea of taking 'em out like this. Not giving them a sporting chance."
"Oh come on, Nakky-boy." The gun replied. "You're made of stronger stuff than that."
"Nac, what are you doing?" Bark asked nervously. "Are you talking to your gun again? The nice doctor on West Side Island already talked to you about this."
"Ah, don't make fun of him so much, Fang." Bean told the gun.
"Am I the only one in Hooligan that isn't crazy?" Bark asked himself. Nac stood there his hand shaking uncertain whether he should follow the instructions of an inanimate object. Meanwhile, Knuckles managed to pull Sonic out of the quicksand and the two scurried up the tree trunk. After the two made it back to solid ground. Big, then, chucked the log away and was sent flying towards where the three Team Hooligan members stood.
"Oh no, Nac look out." Bean squeaked. "Incoming tree, extra large." The tree impacted with the nervous weasel with a gun full of dynamite. KAAA-BOOOOOOOOOMMM! The three outlaws were sent flying.
"I'm so sorry, Fang!" Nac wailed.
"You're a bum, kid." The gun rasped out as they flew out of sight. "A real bum."
"Did you guys hear something?" Sonic asked looking around. "I could have sworn I heard a bolt of thunder."
"It's was like just your imagination." Barbie declared, shaking her head at the silly hedgehog. "Now, why don't I so totally take you to the cat tribe's village." The four mobians made their way deeper and deeper into the jungle.
The path narrowed into a single road with branches camouflaging the way. Sniffing at the ground, Barbie was able to direct them towards several huts hidden deep in the foliage.
"So, what are these cat folk like?" Knuckles asked curious. "Are they friendly?"
"Oh, they like rant and rave about honor and stuff a lot but they are really nice once you get to know them." Barbie rolled her eyes. "They like really have a bad habit of talking too much especially the dudes. Those guys won't even shut up in bed."
"Wow, you watched them while they sleep?" Knuckles asked in awe. "Are you a ninja?" The koala's face turned a deep shade of red.
"Knuckles, you are so wonderfully naïve at times." Sonic answered stifling a laugh. It was at that point that all three of the boys felt a stinging pain in their necks and got really really sleepy. As the three of them toppled over, they heard an angry koala's voice cry out.
"Darn it, why do you always have to jump the gun? These guys are friends." She yelled at them and the area went black.
