Disclaimer: When I own the Doctor, my life will be complete. Till then, my only solace is fan fiction.
Ch.12:
Seeing that they weren't going to shoot on sight, the Doctor walked forward.
"Um, Doctor?" Lily said, following behind. "That's a really big hole."
"Yes it is." He walked to the edge. "Oh very Torchwood. Drilled by laser?" he asked. "How far down does it go?"
"Down and down." The mysterious voice replied.
"And down and down, where it stops, nobody knows." Lily interrupted in a singsong voice.
"All the way to the center of the Earth." The voice continued.
"Of course it does." Lily continued.
"Really?" the Doctor asked. "Seriously, what for?"
"Dinosaurs." Donna told him.
Both Lily and the Doctor stared at her.
"What?" he asked
"That film, Under the Earth, with Dinosaurs." She told him. They just kept staring. "Trying to help."
"You're not helping." He replied.
"No I'm with her." Lily said. He stared at her in shock. "What? That'd be cool."
"What a sweet couple." The voice said.
The Doctor turned around. "Only a madman talks to thin air, and, trust me, you don't want to make me mad." He yelled. "Where are you?"
"Maybe she's in the hole." Lily muttered.
"High in the sky." The voice told them. "Floating so high on Christmas night."
"I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom." He called. "Come on! Let's have a look at you"
"Who are you, with such commands?" the voice asked.
"Besides the most bossy person in the universe?" Lily quipped.
"I'm the Doctor." He said over Lily.
"Prepare your best medicines, Doctor Man." The voice told him. "For soon you will be sick at heart."
"Seriously?" Lily wanted to know. "What is this? A B Movie Spy film?"
The Doctor just hushed her.
Suddenly, there was a bright light and a giant half-humanoid, half-spider…thing appeared.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lily screamed, running behind the Doctor, causing both the Doctor and Donna to jump out of their skins.
"What's wrong?" The Doctor asked trying to comfort her without turning his back on the newcomer.
Lily was muttering. "Raid. Lots and lots of Raid. Galleons of it. Drown it in Raid."
"Lily, what is going on?"
Lily glared at him. "I hate spiders." She told him, vehemently.
He stared at her. "Really?" he told her sarcastically. "I would have never guessed."
He turned back to the thing. "Racnoss." He said. "That's impossible. You're one of the Racnoss." He called, disbelieving.
"Empress of the Racnoss." She corrected.
"Does this kill the bug spray idea?" Lily wanted to know.
"If you're the empress," the Doctor asked, "where are the rest of the Racnoss? OR," he continued on, "are you the only one?"
"Such a sharp mind." The Empress replied in answer.
"You wouldn't think that if you watched him drive." Lily muttered, still standing behind the Doctor. He reached behind him and swatted her.
"That's it. Last of your kind." He said to her. "The Racnoss come from the Dark Times." He told Lily and Donna. "Billions and Billions of years ago. They were carnivores, omnivores. They devoured whole planets."
"Racnoss are born starving." The Empress interrupted. "Is that our fault?"
"Ever heard of something called 'control'" Lily called from safely behind the Doctor, not about to abandon her barrier between her and the dreaded spider thing. "How 'bout 'moderation'?"
"They eat people?" Donna asked, disgusted.
"Umm, Donna?" Lily asked. "H.C. Clemens, did he where those black and white things on his shoes?"
"He did!" she replied. "We used to laugh. We used to call him the fat cat in spats."
The Doctor just nodded and pointed.
"Oh my God." She yelled, spotting the shoes in the webbing on the ceiling.
"My Christmas Dinner." The Empress said.
"How about a shoe? Got a giant shoe anywhere?" Lily asked.
"I'm with her." Donna agreed.
The Doctor just ignored them. "You shouldn't even exist." He told the Empress. "Way back in history, the Fledgling Empires went to war with the Racnoss," He said, continuing his history lesson for Lily and Donna. "They were wiped out."
"Except for me."
While this was all going on, Donna had spotted Lance climbing up behind the Empress. When she spotted the ax, she tried to keep the focus on her.
"And that's what I've got inside me? That Huon energy?" she called. "Oi look at me, Lady." She yelled when the Empress tried to turn away. "I'm talking. Where do I fit in?" she wanted to know. "How come I get all stacked up with these Huon particles?" Lance was getting closer. "Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me!"
"The Bride is so feisty!"
"Damn straight she is." Lily muttered, finally edging out from behind the Doctor, but grabbing his hand and holding it firmly. She really, really didn't like spiders.
"Yes I am." Donna agreed. "And I don't know what you are, you big thing." By now both Lily and the Doctor had noticed Lance. "But a spider is just a spider, and an ax is a ax. Now do it!" She yelled.
Lance raised the ax just as the Empress turned and spotted him. He didn't move. Then he turned to them and started to laugh.
"That was a good one." He said pointing to the Empress. "Your face."
"Lance is funny." The Empress told them.
"What?" Donna asked, confused. Lily let go of the Doctor's hand and took hold of Donna's.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Sorry for what?" Donna asked, still confused. "Lance, don't be so stupid. Get her!"
"God she's thick." Lance said with a sneer.
"Hey, shut the hell up, you asshole." Lily told him, fury evident on her face.
"Months I've had to put up with her." He continued, unfazed by Lily's outburst. "Months! A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map."
"I don't understand." Donna said softly.
"How did you meet him?" Lily asked her just as softly.
"In the office." She replied.
"He made you coffee." The Doctor told her.
"What?" she asked, uncomprehending.
"Every day, I made you coffee." Lance said slowly, as if to an idiot.
"You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months." The Doctor told her, ignoring Lance.
"He was poisoning me?" Donna asked, looking between the Doctor and Lily.
"It was all there in the job title." He told her.
"The Head of Human Resources." Lily said disgustedly.
"This time-it's personnel." Lance quipped. Both he and the Empress laughed, while the Doctor held Lily back.
"I could end this now." She told him softly.
He looked down, into her eyes and asked, "Without losing control?"
She looked down. When he was sure she wasn't going to try to attack again, he let go.
"But…we were getting married." Donna said. Lily walked over and wrapped her arm around the older woman, but Donna didn't seem to notice.
"Well, I couldn't risk you running off." He told her cruelly. "I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap - "oh, Brad and Angelina - is Posh pregnant?" X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me, dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia." He got an ugly look on his face. "I deserve a medal."
Lily opened he mouth to tear into the jerk, but the Doctor got there first.
"Oh is that what she's offered you, the Empress of the Racnoss?" he asked with a sneer. "What are you? Her consort?"
Lance just smirked. "It's better than a night with her."
Donna looked as if someone had punched her. "But I love you."
Lance just kept smirking. "That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor - the big picture - what's the point of it all if the Human Race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?"
"You unmitigated jackass." Lily told him. "No matter what you do, you will always be a little pathetic man, with nothing to offer anyone." Fury rang with every word. "You will never be more than a sniveling lap dog to a disgusting parasite. And for that I pity you."
"Who are this annoying she-human and the little physician?" The Empress asked.
"What she said-Martian." He answered.
"Oh, we're sort of... homeless." The Doctor answered. " But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's gonna help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?" he asked.
"I think he wants us to talk." Lance said.
"I think so too." The Empress replied.
"Well tough," Lance sneered. "All we need is Donna."
"Over my dead body." Lily told him, gearing up for a fight. No way was she going to let this bastard touch her friend.
"Kill this little doctor man and his annoying girl-friend." The Empress ordered.
"Don't you hurt them!" Donna yelled moving in front of them.
"No. No, it's alright." The Doctor said.
"No I won't let 'em." She said.
"At arms." The Empress called, and all the Robots raised their guns.
"Ah now. Except," the Doctor called.
"Take aim." The Empress continued.
"Well I just want to point out the obvious," the Doctor tried again.
"They won't hit the bride," the Empress told him. "They're such very good shots."
"Just-- just-- just-- hold on, just a tick, just a tiny-- just a little-- tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So," he reached inside his pocket, "reverse it... the spaceship comes to her."
He turned the knob on the end of the test tube and it started to glow. The robots fired but Donna, Lily and the Doctor were already safely inside the TARDIS. They looked around.
"Off we go."
A/N: Lily's a little pissed at the treatment of her friend. She really wanted to kill Lance, but I decided being eaten alive sucked worse. Anyway, feedback please.
Abbey.
