When can life be considered lived? When you die? When you lose your goal? When you lose a loved one? When you take someone's life?
I consider my life's end the day I lost my parents and the full use of my body.
I was a track star. I ran the fastest mile in school, jumped hurtles with amazing grace. I broke two records my first year of Track, and four more the next year. I was even put up to the High School team so they could go to Sectionals. I broke three more records there. I was on a roll. It was the highlight of my life.
My parent's ran my late grandfathers cosmetic industry and were very prosperous throughout the years. I got whatever I wanted, but for a price. I worked for my possessions with chores, good grades and behavior.
It started during one of my track meets. I was in a 500 M hurtle race and winning. Halfway over one of the hurtles, an earthquake occurred and I blacked out. I had an odd dream that I put off as a side effect to the drugs being pumped into my body. In the dream, I was surrounded by complete blackness and from far away came a running shape. I was awed by the pure beauty of the horse sprinting so fast, the way I'd always wanted to run during my meets.
The horse came up to me, a solid mass of shining light, and butted me on the chest. I pet its muscular neck and held its muzzle lightly. Then, it started to disappear into me, as if we melded together.
I woke up in a hospital bed. They told me what had happened. Apparently, I had caught my foot on the hurtle bar and fell on my knee cap. On the way down, I fell on my arm awkwardly and it snapped in half. The arm was a clean break and would heal easily, but my leg might have never worked properly again.
I was told that the odd of me being able to walk, let alone run were slim to none. They said I should save myself the pain and learn how to function with a wheelchair. I was contemplating what to do when my parent's work advisor, Mr. Atsuki came in.
"Ms. Aomori," He had said, very serious, "How are you doing?"
I told him I was fine, but that was all I could really say in my drugged state.
"Ms. Aomori, I have something very serious to tell you. Are you listening?"
I replied I was, but I could barely make out what he was saying.
"Ms. Aomori, it's about your parents. They were on their way here, from the United States. They came as fast as they could, but there's been trouble."
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to sit up higher on the bed.
"Ms. Aomori, I'm just going to say it. Your parents, along with the passengers on the plane they had taken, have passed away."
He continued to talk about how the earthquake had upset the waters and that a storm had emerged at the worst possible time. There was nothing the pilot could have done, he'd said, but I wasn't listening. A sound like rushing water flew by my ears, making it so that I could no longer hear. My eyes fixed on a small vase of Striped Carnations of different color.
Striped Carnation. Wish I could be with you. They always sent me those flowers. When I was sick or hurt they would always end up in my room and my parents would show up before they wilted. These flowers, though, were already dying. A rainbow of browning petals lay on the floor or on the table it sat.
"No." I had whispered then.
"No." I whispered now, curled up on my bed, hugging a pillow to my heaving chest. "No." I said louder, closing my eyes to hold in the tears. "No!" I sobbed, falling onto my side, clutching the pillow closer and closer until my arms wrapped around to my back. Mafin jumped up onto the bed and settled against my back, a reassuring pressure that helped me to calm down.
Positive, I told myself. Think Positive. I tried remembering all the therapy I went through that gave me a high pain tolerance. I remember the first time I walked across the room by myself, all of the cool tricks I learned while on crutches. My arm healed in no time, like they expected, but so did my knee, which they didn't. The doctors were amazed at the rate of which I was able to move, then walk with help, without help and finally run at a steady pace like I used to.
Until finally I was able to be checked out of the Hospital as a recovery miracle a year and a half later. Not long after I had moved into my first house had I found Mafin, alone and starving next door. My neighbor's dog had had puppies, but because they couldn't stand the yapping, they gave them away. All except for Mafin who they just left to die. He was the runt of the litter and they hadn't been expecting him to live either way, but I took him in.
I bottle fed him, ground up meat so his little teeth could become strong and bought all of the supplies he needed. Mr. Atsuki was against it at first, but I promised to train him to be a good Dog, and he was.
My first two schools didn't work out; no one wanted to become friends with me once they heard that I was the heiress to the Aomori Cosmetic Industry. But I started anew each time and finally I'd found my place.
I sat up on the bed, wiping my runny nose on my sleeve and looked down at Mafin. I sniffed, clearing my nose of the congestion. "Want to go for a run?" I asked Mafin.
He barked, bounding off the bed and running out of the room. I followed, giving one last sniff before my nose cleared up and I could breathe away the sadness that had held me captive for too long.
