Disclaimer: I don't own anything Fullmetal Alchemist related.

Edward was wondering the hallway's of Central's military headquarters. The halls were however deserted, to which Ed assumed to be due to the fact that it was, 'ridiculously early in the morning to be at fucking work!' He had recently been tricked into reinstating into the military by Mustang, which pissed him off to no end, and was doomed to be his lackey once again until his new contract ended.

"Fuck Mustang and his fucking life and his fucking job," Edward grumbled sleepily as he continued making his way down the hall.

He entered Mustang's office area to find that not even Hawkeye was there at the moment. "Gez, he's even got Hawkeye running around for him already. Why do the other men get to sleep in, and I have to be here on time anyway?" He continued to grouch as he opened the door to Mustang's office.

He entered to find that it was empty as well. "...Did the Bastard forget to tell me it was a holiday or something... If that's the case someone's going to get a fist to the face." He ended with a growl.

He started stomping his way back to the main entrance. He was going to fucking go back to sleep like a sane human, and then he was going to hunt down Mustang and make him pay for loosing his precious sleep in time. When he turned a corner however, there were at least a dozen people walking down the hallway.

Ed was about to ask them why they were all gathered together, when he noticed something strange about the men. They were all moving real slowly forward, a bit twitchy too. He was staring at them like the weirdoes they were, until something really fucking strange happened.

When they noticed Ed standing in front of them, they lifted their arms up in front of them, started moving a bit faster towards him, and the group moaned out in almost unison, "Eeeedwaard..." Which sent shivers down Ed's spine.

"...Wha... What the hell!" Ed yelled out as he turned and ran away from the psychos. "If this is a joke or something, someone is going to fucking pay for this!"

He ran into the cafeteria only to find that he was now surrounded, it seemed that everyone one in the building was acting like a mindless corpse. They began to circle him. Edward put his hands up quickly ready to beat the hell out of anyone that came too close to him.

They inched ever closer, their arms before them, and moaning out his name. Ed tensed, 'What the hell is going on!?"

"Edward!" Upon hearing Armstrong shout out from behind him, Edward spun around feeling the usual dread, mixed in with some hope. Armstrong was shirtless, posed with one knee on the ground, and flexing inside the horde of seemingly mindless people. He stood up, struck another pose, and spoke out in his usual loud voice, "Edward! Become an Armstrong, Edward! It would be a great honor for you to be betrothed to an Armstrong!"

Ed stood there stock-still, speechless and horrified at what he hoped was a strange turn to a terrifying nightmare. Armstrong made another pose continuing his speech uninterrupted, "This is the Armstrong courting method passed down through the Armstrong family line for generations!" He began to flex his chest muscles, "Are you not simply dazzled by the beauty of these muscles!? This pure and perfectly sculpted view? And it all for you to gaze upon Edward, does it not leave you speechless?"

Edward remained in a stunned silence. Even the horde that was slowly closing in was not even close to the true terror he had been forced to witness. Just when it seemed like he would in fact be laid hands upon by the masses, a ring of fire surrounded him, both knocking the sense back into him and driving the frontline of people backwards.

Edward quickly looked to the source to find Mustang posed to light another line of fire. "This way Ed, quickly!"

Ed did not need a second prompt. Charging forward through the parted horde, he and Mustang ran through the halls quickly making for the exit. They continued to make their way through Central till they got to a bridge that was far, far away from the military headquarters. Mustang came to an abrupt stop, and Edward stopped with him.

The wind was blowing lightly through their hair, but Ed's sole focus was not on the lovely day surrounding them but rather on that of an immediate explanation, "Mustang! What the hell was that!?"

Mustang ran a hand through his hair, "Well, I was called in a bit earlier then usual about a secret project that the higher ups in the military were having developed. Naturally I could not say no."

"Naturally," Ed snorted.

Mustang continued undaunted, "It was a strong pheromone mixture still in development, the hopes were that it could be used to cause a distraction in battle or to be used in integrations perhaps. Not something I would need of course," He smirked.

Edward rolled his eyes, "Keep talking Mustang," he egged on.

"Well...," Mustang looked a bit frustrated, "Thankfully, I was at the back of the room when it happened. Some klutz knocked over one some of the beakers, apparently it was mixed in with a sample of your DNA and released into the air. The men who were near it breathed it in and well, you saw what happened. I ran away quickly before I could be affected. At the time I did not imagine how far the pheromones would spread."

"...How the hell did they get my DNA..."

"...The closer people were to the outbreak starting point, the more effected they were by the pheromones, blinded by lust and a numbing effect that was made to quickly subdue the enemy."

"...Armstrong did not seem too different..." Ed shuddered at the thought.

"He most likely had just walked through the door. That is the only reasonable explanation I can think up for that one." He shrugged lightly and walked over to lean against the side of the bridge, looking out at Central's view. "Go home Edward, I will call you when it seems like the effects have worn off. Should not be more then a day..."

Edward put his hands in his pockets, "...Thanks...for the help Mustang..."

Mustang turned around and smiled, "Anytime Ed."

Edward turned around and started walking, 'Gez, it is a good thing that was contained for the most part, who knows how much problems that would have caused if it had been released. ...It's a good thing Mustang managed to get away from it or whatever... Yep, a really good thing...'

Edward ignored the slight warmth he felt on his face and moved faster. He was going to stay at a hotel tonight, not wanting to risk sneaking into the military living quarters. '...Fucking military... can not wait till my contract ends again...'

AN: Yep, this is the 'Zombie Apocalyptic like' ending. Why? Because it just came to me. I hoped you liked it anyway. And have a great day everyone.