Almost Is Never Enough
Sasuke woke up the next morning...feeling like shit.
In an instant, everything that happened yesterday night flooded through his mind and he groaned in frustration. Now that Sakura was probably convinced that he and Karin were together already, how was he going to explain it to her?
He looked at the calendar on his wall and sighed...she was leaving tomorrow at noon.
It scared him so much because he knew everything was going to go by in a blink of an eye.
Sasuke got up from his bed and walked slowly over to the bathroom to get ready. He stared at himself in the mirror and glared at his reflection. What a coward. He looked weak, and pathetic...and utterly stupid.
He was going to either lose his best friend or lose the love of his life, and he knew he couldn't keep both. He felt so stupid for not being able choose earlier and it was really his fault that all this happened.
That shocked expression that Sakura had on when she saw them stayed glued in his mind. Why did she look like that? Was she actually...hurt by all this, too? The reason why she keeps pushing him away and why she keeps telling him to be happy...was it all just an act?
Sasuke narrowed his eyes and looked down at the sink.
'I need to talk to her. I need to know her true feelings for me.'
Sakura ended up falling asleep at Ino's place. She didn't want to spend her last two nights in her apartment where memories of Sasuke would be haunting her every single moment.
"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Ino greeted loudly from the kitchen.
Sakura fluttered her eyes open and immediately smelled the aroma of eggs, sausages, and pancakes. "...cooking already...?"
"Well, yea. It's already 9AM." Ino replied as she finished scrambling the eggs. "Hurry, go wash up and come eat. Let's hangout today. I wanna go shopping!"
Sakura stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. "Actually, let's go to Neji's. I wanna hangout with everyone."
"Hm? Well, sure, I'm fine with that, too." Ino shrugged as she set down the plates on the table.
Sakura sat up and yawned softly. She sighed and looked down at the floor. She still wasn't going to tell them she was leaving, but she figured she might as well spend her last day with them before she leaves.
Three years. Alot could change in just a couple of months...she wondered what three years would be like for everyone when she was gone.
'Neji and Tenten would most likely be married by then...' Sakura thought to herself and smiled.
She was definitely going to keep in contact with everyone, but she wasn't so sure about Sasuke. Would he and Karin still be together by then? Would they even be living here anymore?
'Well...that's none of my concern anymore, I guess...' Sakura quickly pushed aside her thoughts about them and got up to get ready.
By the time they got to Neji's house, pretty much everyone was already there.
"Hey guys," Neji greeted as he let them in.
"Whoa, it's like noon, and you guys are already drinking?" Ino laughed and shook her head at the bottles of alcohol on the table.
"I didn't have any water left so I just gave them those." Neji shrugged.
"Well don't exclude us!" Sakura walked over and grabbed one, popping the top off. "It's the weekend, we can do whatever. Dance party?" Her eyes glanced over to the big speakers and radio by Neji's TV.
"I'm on it!" Tenten ran over to turn it on.
Sakura suddenly stopped her. "Wait, wait...actually, can we just go hangout at a club or something?"
Everyone nearly gaped at her. Sakura of all people, wanted to go clubbing?
"Um, you hate parties and places like that though..." Neji muttered.
"That's the old me. I don't mind anymore, really." Sakura shrugged.
Everyone glanced at each other and slowly...they grinned and started to smile happily. "Well then, what are we waiting for?! We haven't gone in such a long time!" Lee shot his fist up and ran out the door first.
They all grabbed their things and also headed out the door.
Sakura looked at Neji and reached over to grab his sleeve. "Um...is Sasuke and Karin coming...?" she asked hesitantly.
Neji checked his phone and shrugged. "Well, Karin texted me that she had some stuff to do so she won't make it. Sasuke didn't reply yet, but I'll just text him to let him know which place we'll be at in case he wants to join us."
"Oh, ok then. Thanks." Sakura replied before going outside.
Neji raised an eyebrow. She was...different. The Sakura he always knew, even when Naruto was still alive, didn't like parties. Frankly, she hated to go to the bar and she hated clubbing because she just wasn't comfortable in that type of setting.
The fact that she brought up Sasuke and Karin was weird, too. He didn't get it. They broke up...but yet, they always ask about one another, as if they still had lingering feelings for each other.
Neji glanced down at his phone when it suddenly vibrated. It was a text from Sasuke. "Will Sakura be there?"
Neji sighed. This was exactly what he was talking about. "Geez...why don't they just talk it out and get back with each other already."
Sakura sat at the bar while everyone else went to dance. She stared at her friends' happy faces and then let out a small sigh.
"Right. It's not like I'm permanently moving." Three years is a long time, but she knew their bond wasn't going to break easily just because of the distance.
Her eyes met with Neji's as he twirled Tenten to Lee, then quickly walked through the crowd to her. "You ok? You were the one who wanted to come, but you're not dancing."
Sakura made a faint smile. "I'll come in a bit. I'm just getting used to the atmosphere."
Neji sat down next to her and then ordered two shots. "Wanna drink? You haven't had one since Naruto's passing."
"...yea, I guess." Sakura shrugged and gulped down the small amount of alcohol set in front of her.
Neji knew something was up. It seemed like she was turning back to her depressed stage. "Sakura, we've been friends for a very long time. Despite the fact that we went to different highschools and even different colleges, we managed to stay like this. I know you, and I've seen you through your ups and downs. So you gotta tell me what's been going on in your mind. I really, really don't want you to be going through anything by yourself...whether it's about Sasuke, work, or if it's even us, let me know what's been troubling you."
Sakura stayed quiet, and simply took a another shot. She circled her finger around the top of the small glass cup and frowned.
"...I saw Sasuke and Karin hugging last night." She finally answered. "I dropped by Ichiraku to pick up my dinner that I ordered. I saw them together and in shock, I accidentally dropped my wallet." Sakura sighed and buried her face into the palms of her hand. "They saw me and I just got out of there as quickly as I could. As much as I tell myself that Sasuke will be happier with her and despite the fact that I know I should not be concerning myself with them..."
Sakura paused and Neji knew by the slight quiver in her voice that she was trying to hold back whatever emotions she was feeling right now.
"...despite all that...I still love him."
Neji was a bit taken by surprise by her sudden confession. It was just weird that after all this time of stringing Sasuke along by her side and repeatedly rejecting and hurting him, she finally confessed that she loved him back. "...why don't you just tell him-,"
"I can't." Sakura interrupted and wiped away the tears that were blurring her vision. "And I won't. I don't want to confuse him like that. Especially since he's working it out with Karin right now. I don't want to be someone who's going to break them apart just because I realized my feelings too late. She was his first love. Even if he loves me so much to the point where he would willingly stay with me despite my selfishness and grieving, I could never compare to what she was to him."
Neji narrowed his eyes and was about to say something, but he quickly shut his mouth and stayed quiet. She couldn't compare to Karin? Was that really what she thought? He's seen the way Sasuke and Karin looked at each other during highschool. He's seen the way Sasuke treated Karin and how undeniably, she was once his most important person.
But now? It wasn't like that anymore. Something was different when Sasuke met Sakura. Sasuke completely stopped playing with other girls. He seemed more focus on his priorities in life, and Neji has never seen Sasuke stay by someone's side as long as he did with Sakura. Normally, if a girl was not interested in Sasuke, he wouldn't really care. But with Sakura, no matter how long she was still stuck in her grieving for Naruto, Sasuke still loved and cherished her. 'If only Karin didn't come at such a time like this...I think Sasuke and Sakura would have both been happy by now.'
Sasuke hoped he wasn't too late.
He entered the place and looked through the crowd to see if he could spot any of his friends. Something pink caught his eye, and he immediately knew there was only one person with pink hair.
Sasuke gazed over at the bar, and sure enough, there was Sakura. He noticed she was drinking with Neji and his heart nearly skipped a beat when she smiled.
He pushed through the crowd, and it took him a few moments until he reached them.
"Hey." He patted Neji on the shoulder.
"Ah, you made it." Neji greeted.
"Yea. Didn't have anything else to do at home." Sasuke shrugged before glancing at Sakura. "Hey Sakura..."
"Hi." Sakura said rather abruptly. She was glad she was able to see him, but another side of her wished he never came.
"Why aren't you two dancing?" Sasuke quickly changed the subject because of Sakura's cold response.
"I was, but I just came for a drink." Neji paused before getting up. Sakura was taken by surprise when Neji suddenly pulled her up and slightly pushed her towards Sasuke. "But she hasn't danced once since we've got here and you just came, so why don't you two go dance?" Neji smirked at them.
"I don't dance. And certainly not to this kind of music-,"
"That can be fixed." Neji interruped.
Sakura stood speechless as Neji walked across the dancefloor to the DJ and whispered something into the DJ's ear.
Sasuke's eyes widened when he saw Neji slip some money into the DJ's hand. "What the...did he seriously just do that?"
In an instant, the music changed from its usual upbeat songs to a slower, romantic song. A few people in the crowd groaned and left the dancefloor immediately but others grabbed another person and started slow dancing.
"...ugh...seriously, Neji...?" Sakura glared at Neji, who only gave her another smirk.
Sasuke sighed and then he hesitantly reached out his hand to her. "Might as well?"
Sakura stared at his hand, but she never took it. "...you can go ahead. I don't want to dance." She replied before turning around to sit again.
Sasuke quickly, but gently grasped her arm and pulled her back. "I need to talk to you. Please."
Sakura didn't look back at him and gently pried his hand off of her. "I don't think there's anything we need to talk about."
"Even if you don't have anything to say, I do. So please, just hear me out." Sasuke kept his hand outreached to her, hoping she would take it.
Sakura stayed quiet for a few moments and just stood still. She let out a small sigh and then slowly turned to face him. "Ok, fine..." She placed her hand in his.
Sasuke firmly closed his hand around hers and then they walked together to the dancefloor.
To be honest, Sakura was nervous. She knew how to dance, but she's just never been this close to Sasuke before. Her heart pounded furiously when he suddenly pulled her closer, softly placing his hands on her waist.
She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck, but she never looked up at him.
"...um...what you saw the other day..." Sasuke cleared his throat quietly. "...I just wanted to let you know that we aren't together yet."
Sakura narrowed her eyes. Why was he making up excuses? If they really weren't dating yet, then what exactly was the reason why he's waiting so long? "Whether you're together or not, that really doesn't concern me anymore, Sasuke. You keep acting like you have to get my permission to date her." She forced herself to lock her eyes with his and managed to give him a cold glare.
Sasuke was a bit surprised by her cold response but he made a small smile at her. "Right...sorry. I just didn't want us to keep ending things like that. I don't want you to be angry with me, nor do I want to blame you for anything. Would it possible...to still remain as friends, Sakura? Between you and me?"
Sakura didn't answer and just kept her gaze on his eyes. She honestly didn't know. If they stayed friends, she wasn't sure if she would ever get over him. She didn't know if she could tolerate being in contact with him if he was going to be with Karin. She didn't know if her heart could take it.
"...Sakura...?" Sasuke looked at her worriedly when her expression suddenly changed. It went from cold and stoic to almost...sad?
Sakura averted her eyes down then slowly pushed away from him. "I think it's best if we just stay like this. Nothing more."
Sasuke was a bit hurt by that. She honestly didn't want anything to do with him? Sighing, he took a hold of her hand and dragged her outside where it was more quiet.
When they got outside to where they were isolated from the crowd going in and out, Sakura stopped and tried to pull away, but Sasuke kept his grasp on her.
"If this is supposed to not mean anything to you...if you really did breakup with me in order for me to be happy...then it shouldn't bother you if we stayed friends. Unless it hurt you anyway, unless it pains you to see me all the time, then you shouldn't have a problem. So why? Why can't we-,"
"Sasuke, please stop." Sakura was trying her best to keep her feelings bottled down, but everything was rushing through her mind and it felt so overwhelming. She couldn't even bring herself to look up at him.
Sasuke's eyes saddened and he pulled her closer, boldly cupping one side of her face. He raised her head slightly and locked his gaze on her emerald eyes. This was the first time she's ever looked at him with such emotions and this was the first time he so boldly held her this close.
His thumb gently caressed the side of her cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Sakura..." He whispered her name in such a way that it made her heart ache.
In a blink of an eye, she suddenly pulled away from him and took a step back. "I'm telling you this for the last time, Sasuke. Do whatever makes you happy. Be with Karin...and forget me. I don't want to hold you back from being with someone you longed for for so long." She replied bluntly and then turned to walk away.
"Sakura-,"
"Don't." She glared harshly at him. "Just don't."
And with those two words, all Sasuke could do was stand there and watch as she turned her back to him like so many times before.
He didn't get it. Whenever they seemed to have a moment...whenever he felt like she was opening up to him, she just automatically pushed him away. She just didn't understand...the person that he had longed for, for so long, was her. It was always her.
"Well then...I guess it's all or nothing tomorrow."
Last chapter will be coming up soon!
Review please! And any ideas are always welcome!
