Title: The Last Horcrux
Chapter 12: Before the Meeting
…
Exhaustedly, Harry shuffled his way back into his room. It had been a long, long day, what with the revelations about Snape, and Malfoy, and then having to prepare for the Order meeting the next day. He opened the door to his bedroom quietly, and took off his shoes so as not to awaken Ginny. But he soon discovered that he needn't have bothered.
There was a whispered spell and then the lights flickered on, to reveal Ginny sitting up in bed, apparently wide awake. "Hey."
"Hey," Harry returned, "I thought you'd be asleep. You didn't stay up for me, did you?"
"Actually, I did," Ginny replied, "I wanted to talk to you."
After nearly two decades of being married to her, he recognized by that tone that it was serious. "What about?" He asked carefully.
"I haven't seen you around of late," Ginny stated.
"I've been busy; what with the Resistance, and Chris, and then there's the Order meeting tomorrow…"
"That's not what I meant," She interrupted him. "You've been avoiding me."
"No, I haven't," Harry protested, even though he had.
"Yes, you have," Ginny said simply, and Harry deflated, knowing that there was no point in lying to her; that there was never any point in lying to her. "And I want to know why," She continued. "What's bothering you, Harry? What's wrong?"
"It's Chris," Harry sighed, sitting down opposite her. "He opened up…issues…which I thought I was over years ago."
"I thought you were really getting along with him," Ginny said, surprised.
"I am," Harry hastened to assure her, "It's not that. It's not him."
"Then what is it?"
"It's…" He hesitated, and then said in a rush, "It's what happened to his family."
Ginny leaned back. "Oh, Harry…" She said with a sigh, because she, too, thought they'd buried these issues years and years ago. "Not this again."
"Yes, this again. It will always be an issue, Ginny, and you know it. I don't think you truly understand what it's like to be like me, or Chris. To be always targeted by a Dark Lord, to have your loved ones targeted…" He released a shaky breath. "Bianca could have been you, Ginny. Chris's family could have been my family. Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Molly, Lily. That's my worst fear- that Voldemort will use you to get to me, or that you'll die in this war at the hands of the Death Eaters. Sometimes, I think I should have stuck to what I said in Sixth Year, when Ron, Hermione and I first decided to find and destroy the Horcruxes." He sighed softly and whispered almost inaudibly, "I should never have let you talk me into marrying you."
Ginny was silent for a moment, her brown eyes unreadable. "Haven't you been happy with me these past 18 years?" She asked at last.
He detected a faint hint of vulnerability and hurt in her voice, and felt terrible. "Ginny. Of course I have," He said. "That's not what I meant. You know that."
"And what about Lily?" Ginny went on, "If we weren't married, she wouldn't exist. Can you really think I would trade her for anything?"
"If we hadn't renewed our relationship two years after I first broke up with you, then you'd have been happily married to someone else by now, probably with more than one child. And you wouldn't have wanted to trade that for anything, either."
But Ginny shook her head. "Harry, do you honestly think I'd have been happy with anyone else but you?" She leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. "I had a major crush on you for four years after I met you, remember? And even when I tried to get over you and see other people, it didn't work. I still remember how you kissed me in front of the entire Hogwarts Common Room." She chuckled softly, taking his hand. "It was like everything I'd ever hoped for since the moment I saw you came true" She giggled slightly, "I can still see the expression on Ron's face." She sobered slightly. "Harry, if we hadn't renewed our relationship after Ron and Hermione were married, I don't think I would have been with anyone now. I think I'd still be waiting for you, because ever since I first saw you, I've felt a connection to you, and I don't think I would ever have been able to ignore that."
Harry was too overcome to speak. Finally he said in a voice made unsteady under the force of his emotions, "His eyes are as green as fresh-pickled toad…"
Ginny laughed softly, her eyes sparkling with relief and merriment at the turn the conversation had taken. "I worked on that poem for a week, you know," She said. "I thought it was the most amazing Valentine ever to see the light of day."
"Yes, well, poetry was never your strong point, Ginny," Harry replied, shaking his head in amusement, "I remember I nearly died of embarrassment, and Malfoy teased me for weeks. What was the rest of it, d'you remember?"
"No, I've forgotten," She said, "But I do remember the last couple of lines, because I agonized over them for ages. I wish he were mine, he's truly divine, the hero who conquered the Dark Lord."
A shadow passed over his face, as he was reminded again of his terrible role in this war. "I didn't conquer him," He said, somberly.
"But you will," Ginny said, cupping his face gently. "Even if it takes years, you'll never give up. I believe in you. I believe that you will succeed in the end."
"And that means the world to me," He replied quietly, and smiled when she leaned in to kiss him.
…
"Hello, Lily."
For someone who had never seen a person orbing before, Lily Potter was remarkably composed in the face of Chris's sudden appearance in a flurry of blue and white lights right behind her.
"Chris, right?" She asked.
He inclined his head, and she regarded him for a moment in silence. "What are you doing here?" She asked, not bothering to introduce herself, "From what I've heard, you're a very busy man." Far too busy to be wasting time with me.
"I am busy," Chris acknowledged after a beat, "But I'm also your whitelighter. And I can feel that you're troubled, frustrated by something. It's my job to help my charges with their problems."
She tilted her head at him. "And out of all your charges' problems, you find mine the worst of all?"
No, not by a long shot. But you're Harry Potter's daughter, and somehow, even though it shouldn't matter, it does. But of course, he couldn't give that as an answer. "Your troubles are most pressing for you, and that's all I care about." He was slightly sickened to realize that he was good at this kind of bullshit, good at making himself sound more selfless than he really was. But he had enough reasons for which to hate himself without adding more, so he pushed the unwelcome realization away from his mind, and asked her, even though he thought he knew, "What's troubling you, Lily?"
She was silent for a time; and then, she said in a rush, "I should be at that meeting today."
Chris studied her for a moment. "And your father has forbidden you from attending it."
Lily blew out a frustrated breath. "He doesn't want me involved in the war."
"Is that so hard to understand? He wants to protect you." Even as he said it, Chris could feel that she did understand, and that was what made it so much more complicated.
"I know he wants to protect me, but he doesn't understand that I'm already involved, just by virtue of being his daughter. He can't protect me from Voldemort, and he shouldn't be able to prevent me from fighting him if I choose to. I'm of age. But to be a member of the Order, you need its leader's consent, which I don't have, and which at this rate, I'll never get." She sighed. "Sirius joined the moment he turned seventeen, and even though he's only gone on two missions so far, at least he has the comfort of knowing he's actually doing something. And Molly's only fifteen, but she's already preparing to join. I feel so useless, compared to them."
Chris was silent for a moment. "Do you know what your father's worst fear is?" She shook her head. "It's that Voldemort will use you against him the way…the way my family was used against me."
Lily stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment and then blanched when she realized what he meant. It was something she had never considered before, never even thought of. "I…I didn't…" She stammered.
Chris didn't wait for her to finish. "It's a very valid fear, Lily." He paused, and then looked away, but not before she saw the pain flash across his eyes. "If you're sure that you're prepared for something like that, then it's true, you do have a right to join the Order if you want to. But you haven't even thought about it." His voice dropped. "My family has been fighting evil all their lives, and we were all willing to lay down their lives for me. But all of them broke and begged for their lives under torture." His voice broke slightly, but he breathed deeply and forced himself to continue, even as he wondered what it was about her that was compelling him to do so. "And I don't think you can imagine how hard it is to witness something like that, and witness it passively. So if you want to take part of this war effort, then you should be prepared for the possibility of your father being made to go through that, and you should be reconciled to it."
He was startled and dismayed, when he looked at her again, to see the tears in her eyes. He hadn't meant to upset her that much. "I'm sorry," He said in consternation, "I didn't mean to upset you so much."
"No," She said, and her tone was steady, belying the emotion in her eyes, "Don't be. You've given me a lot to think about…and I'm grateful."
She really was. Encouraged, he added, "If you really want to be useful there are a lot of things you can still do without being a member of the Order. Are you any good at making Potions, for instance?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact; I am."
"Well, then; we're always looking for people who can make decent vanquishing Potions. Jennifer can show you what do; she's a dab hand at it, the fact that she's a mortal notwithstanding. And if you're any good at rhymes, you could help us write spells, too. There are a lot of things which need doing."
She was, thankfully, looking a little brighter. "I never thought of that." She gave him a grateful look, "Thank you, Chris."
"You're welcome."
…
"You seem perturbed about something," Snape observed, when he could no longer ignore Malfoy's uncharacteristic fidgeting.
"Perturbed," Malfoy sighed, "That has to be the understatement of the year." Snape did not respond, waiting for him to elaborate, which he did in a few moments. "I'm just dreading the Order meeting. I can just imagine the uproar when Potter reveals my identity to everyone."
"But he has promised to support you," Snape said. "That is all that should matter, really."
"I know," Malfoy sighed again, "It's just…when I think of the things they're bound to say…it brings up a lot of old demons, which I would really rather not face."
"Then it is high time you face them, if they still have so much power over you," Snape said decisively. "Really, Draco. You're no longer the person you used to be, and you should be able to let the past go by now. Besides…" His voice dropped slight, "You have far less to atone for than I do."
Malfoy shook his head. "You have nothing more to atone for, Severus."
"Do not speak of what you don't know. You didn't know me during my Death Eater days, something which I am profoundly thankful for. But we digress. We were talking about you."
"It's my son," Malfoy said, finally coming to the heart of it, "I'm scared about what he'll think when he hears about my past. I've been his hero all my life and…" He shuddered, "I've seen firsthand what happens when the person you look up to most does something so horrendous that…" He stopped abruptly.
"You are not Wyatt Haliwell, Draco, and your son is certainly not Chris Haliwell," Snape said sharply, "Don't draw comparisons like that, for the sake of your own peace of mind. Just… prepare him a little in advance. Tell him the truth."
"A truth like that?" Malfoy asked, "He's only twelve years old."
"But he'll hear it anyway, from others," Snape pointed out, "And you shouldn't underestimate children. They understand more than most people would think. Trust me, Draco; he'll far prepare to hear it from you than as a topic of gossip among perfect strangers."
There was a long pause. "Then I should go now," Draco said at last, "I should tell him before the meeting."
"Yes," Snape said calmly, "Yes you should."
…
"Richard?"
"Dad! Where have you been? Mom and I haven't seen you since yesterday, and-"
"Let that wait for a while, Richard," Draco hastily interrupted his son, knowing all too well the boy's tendency to rmable. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Sensing that it was serious from his father's tone, Richard sobered. "Of course, Dad."
"Walk with me, then."
The twelve-year-old followed his father out of the room in silence, and Malfoy slowed so he could fall into stip with him. Richard peered up at his father's troubled expression, hesitated a moment, and then gently clasped his hand. Malfoy's throat constricted at the way that small hand clung so trustingly to his. Please don't let me lose this, he thought achingly. Please don't let me lose him.
"Dad? Is something wrong?"
Malfoy cleared his throat and looked dwon into those soft brown eyes, and remembered the first time they had blinked up at him on Richard's birthday. "Son, you know that I've always…avoided…questions from concerning my past. I've never answered questions about my life before I met your mother."
"You…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Daddy."
The last word brought tears to Malfoy's eyes. "But I do want to, Richard," He said, "I think it's time you knew the truth about me. I was born in this world. Here, in England." He ignored his son's gasp of wonder, and said, "I attended this school, along with the man who is now Headmaster, Harry Potter. But things were different then." He became lost in memory. "I was different. My parents were evil. They served a very powerful Dark wizard." At Richard's blank look, he phrased it in words his son, who had grown up knowin Wiccan ways, would understand. "A powerful, bad demon. The Dark Lord Voldemort. My parents were his minions. I was raised to look down on everyone around me, and I was taught the Dark Arts. Evil magic. Potter had defeated when he was a baby because of a backfiring spell, so for most of my childhood, I talked about him without really understanding what he was. But he rose again, and when he did, I had to prove that I was willing to act on my touted beliefs. I was asked to prove my loyalty to Voldemort by killing a powerful good wizard." He paused.
"Did you do it?" Richard asked, his voice squeaking slightly. Malfoy took care not to look at him, or he knew he would lose his nerve.
"No. I fully intended to, but I was unable to when it finally came down to it. I was only sixteen at the time; only four years older than you are now. My godfather, who is a teacher here, killed him in my stead and helped me to escape. We both ran away to America, and moved in to a house opposite the Haliwell manor, although neithr of us realized tha then."
"Your godfather killed the wizard?" Richard asked shrilly, and Malfoy winced.
"Yes, but only because the wizard, Dumbledore, asked him to," He said, hastening to clear Snape of blame. "You see, my godfather was a spy. He pretended to serve Voldemort, while actually serving Dumbledore, so that he could help the Light side to fight him better by giving them information about their enemy."
"Like Bianca, when she was spying on Lord Wyatt," Richard said.
Malfoy was surprised his son knew about that. Granted, it had been a bit of an open secret at the Resistance, but he would not have expected it to be known even to the young ones. Snape was right about children understanding more than people gave them credit for. "Yes, exactly like that," He confirmed, "Dumbledore was already dying from a Dark curse. He asked my godfather to kill him to spare me from having to do it, and also so Voldemort would be fully convinced that he was on his side."
"So he killed him."
"Yes. And then we both ran away to America, and my godfather gave me to the Charmed Ones to take care of, but under a different name and appearance."
"You're wearing a glamour?"
"Yes, I am."
"But why?" Richard's brows were furrowed in confusion, "You didn't do anything."
"I fully intended to."
"But you didn't," Richard insisted, "You never did anything evil, and you didn't kill any innocents. So why do you have to wear glamour?"
"My parents were very bad people. Everyone here hated them, and that's why they hate me, too."
"But that would be like hating Chris because he's Wyatt's brother. It's not your fault your parents are evil."
Malfoy thanked the gods that his son was still so innocent in spite of everything. Relief was coursing through his veins as he replied softly, "No, it isn't. But others don't see it like that."
There was a pause, and then Richard asked, with surprising perceptiveness, "Is that why you hesitated to tell me the truth all these years? Because you were afraid that I wouldn't see it like that, either?"
For a moment, Malfoy didn't know what to say. "Yes," He said finally, "Yes, I was."
"You didn't need to be." The mildly reproachful tone made Malfoy's heart contract with relief and love and gratitude.
"I know that now," He said in a choked voice, "I love you, Richard."
"I love you too, Daddy."
…
TBC…
Did you guys read the new Harry Potter! Wasn't it fantastic?! The best of the lot! I can't believe I managed to guess so many things correctly! It's too bad there won't be anymore, though. sniffles
I've been really busy with college and stuff. Which, by the way, is great fun. I've signed up for the Shakespeare Society, the Music Society, The Wildlife Society, and I plan to sign up for the English Literary Society, too.
Also, my short story got published in a magazine! It's my first work that I was able to publish, so I'm ecstatic. And that was on Sunday, the day after I finished reading Harry Potter, so it was a really nice way to end he weekend. :D
I have to go! My roommate is grumbling because she wants to go to bed and she can't sleep with the lights on. That's the one thing we always clash on- she's an early sleeper and I'm a late one. Please review!
