Chapter Twelve: Wacky Races - Jake

I pulled into the garage and got out of the truck. The late-afternoon sun was making its presence strongly felt in the secluded glade where our house was situated, but the garage was cool and dark. Adjacent to my truck, I noticed that all the other cars in here: Ness's Golf, her now-aging Vanquish, Edward's brand new Volvo and at the far end the recently returned Veyron, were all sparkling clean. I could smell the scents of both vampires mixed in with the scent of car polish and motor oil. This had been another session of Daddy and Daughter Re-Bonding Time, working on their cars together. There'd been a lot of that over these last two weeks. They'd also spent endless hours talking whilst planting up our Italian-themed courtyard. Ness and Bella had done the same in the lounge and, more surprisingly, over bouts of cliff-diving.

My mind wandered back over that time. One bout of cliff diving seemed to cause Edward some discomfort and over dinner, I'd asked Ness why her Dad had look so unsettled? Had she been doing something that had caused him to fear for her safety? She'd looked at me blankly for a moment, furrowed her brow and then her eyes bugged. She threw back her head and snorted with laughter. It petered out into a red-faced giggle.

"What?" I asked, when after several minutes, she still hadn't regained her composure.

"Mom said perhaps more than she should."

"About what?"

"About what they do when they're together."

"Oh." This had wandered into a place that I didn't want to go into. I completely understood now why Edward had been looking a little prickly this afternoon.

That set Ness off into a fresh peal of giggling. "Next to Emmett's 'let it all hang out' approach to life; My Dad's always looks incredibly strait-laced. It was a shock to discover that he isn't. They just keep it to themselves."

This was making me feel uncomfortable now. "Ness, I…"

"I got some great sex tips th -"

"What?!" I spat out the food in my mouth. "Your Mom's giving you sex tips?" How awkward was this?

Ness looked at me like I was stupid. "Well, yes? Why wouldn't she?"

"Well… I dunno. Don't you girls get these sort of things from, like… Cosmo?"

Ness narrowed her eyes at me. "Jake, I'm half vampire and I'm married to a guy who can turn into a wolf. Trust me; I'm not Cosmo's target audience. I'm going to need something a little more long-lasting than help on how get a one-night stand. Somehow, I've got to keep you sexually interested in me for eternity."

"I don't think there's going to be any trouble with that…" I added a little flippantly. Had she no idea about what imprinting did to me?

"I know you're irrevocably bound to me and that you can never love anybody else, but… wouldn't it be nice to always have things this fresh, even when we're thousands of years old? Vampires have been having sex for millennia, Jake. It figures that they might know a thing or two about keeping their partners satisfied. From what Mom was telling me, it would appear that my Dad spent most of the twentieth century gathering information about that." Ness dissolved into giggles again. I didn't mind. Hang Edward's embarrassment about Bella's disclosure, it was good to see my girl laugh like this again.

"They do say it's always the quiet ones." I mused, similarly grinning. Edward's discomfort would definitely be continuing now I knew about it.

"It would appear so." Ness replied, giving me a look that made me put down my cutlery. It was a look I knew well, a look I longed to see and a look that I absolutely had to respond to. A low, sexy, resonant growl accompanied it.

I brought my thoughts back from that evening. Walking from the garage over to the house, I reflexively rubbed my ribs. That had gone on to be a pretty spectacular night for us, a night where Ness had broken more than just two dowels on the bed frame; she'd broken two of my ribs. She was getting stronger and there were times when I was very glad for my ability to heal quickly. The sad night when she'd kicked me from our bed was fast disappearing into the distance. The human blood was restoring more than just her physical health. The naturally playful and loving girl I'd always known was re-appearing too. From an open third-floor window, her sparkling laugh drifted again and I hurried inside to find her.

Ness was with Daniel, Stephanie, Edward and Bella. They were systematically going through the bedrooms of our house making them ready for our guests. Stephanie was being made to sit in a chair as the rest of them made beds, freshened up bathrooms and got things ready. Stephanie's baby was being delivered tomorrow and the amazing thing was, was that there was very little difference between her and any other full-term mother. Stephanie was not the virtual skeleton that Bella had been when she'd given birth to Nessie. Neither was she the pale and bruised ghost that Jess had been. Stephanie looked phenomenally tired, yes; but apart from that she looked amazing. She hadn't lost much weight and her baby was not the kicker that Ben had been. It was content with the occasional wriggle and gentle stretch. Edward was not in the slightest bit concerned. On the contrary he'd become fascinated by the baby's thoughts.

"The baby's a deep thinker." He'd said to me one day. "It's definitely inherited both Daniel and Stephanie's very analytical brains. It's a very contented baby too, not like Ben, who just wanted to get out of there."

We laughed. Ben was a livewire and it was fortunate that Jess had gone through the conversion process or she'd never have stood a chance to keep up with her son, whose current aim was to be able to run fast enough to make it all the way to the North Pole and back before dinner.

Ness flew into my arms and kissed me. "I'm glad you're home!" She smiled and I lost myself in her eyes for a moment, oblivious to the four other people in the room. The rumble of tyres on gravel alerted us to arrivals and the distinctive engine note told me it was Charlie and Heather.

Edward and Bella stayed upstairs to finish the final two rooms whilst Ness and I made our way downstairs. Daniel carried Stephanie. She winced and mouthed a silent 'ow' as the baby shifted inside her. Ness bounded outside to greet Heather and Charlie, virtually dragging them both into the house, through the lobby and outside again into the newly-finished courtyard to show off her and Edward's handiwork.

"Wow, isn't that just something." Charlie said, never one to be effusive with his compliments.

"It makes me feel like I'm at the villa." Said Heather, knowing what Nessie was aiming for.

"Yes!" Ness replied excitedly. "And next year I'm going to extend it and build a pool over there."

"You're going to dig out a pool?"

In the enthusiasm for voicing her new project, Ness didn't pick up on the amusement in Heather's voice.

"Yes!" She replied and then clocked Heather's wry grin. "Well, I'll get Dad to help me."

Heather raised her eyebrows at Ness.

"OK," Ness admitted. "Dad will end up doing it because I'll get sidetracked by something else."

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who was hoping that this time next year the thing that Ness would be side-tracked by, would be a baby.

The first of our family arrived not too much later and were the reason that Heather and Charlie were here. Emmett, Rose and Jane had arrived, bringing with them Sophie, who Jane lifted, still sleeping, from her car seat. Being a new vampire Dan couldn't travel with his daughter, but Heather and Charlie had volunteered to have Sophie for a few days, just to give Dan one less thing to worry about while he was here.

Welcomes made, Jane gently handed the sleeping Sophie over to Ness. Sophie was thirteen months old now and her Italian parentage was very noticeable. Her hair was a mass of open dark brown curls and her soft olive skin was in marked contrast to her mother's own pale, hard, vampire skin. As Ness cradled her, Rose came over and stroked the little girl's hair.

"She babbles all the time now." She whispered. "It's fascinating to hear her, isn't it Jane?" Jane nodded. "It's so different to you and Ben. You guys just spoke; but hearing Sophie getting the hang of simply making sounds is fascinating. No offence to you or to Ben, but this is more fun." Rose grinned. "Someday, one of those little sounds will be a word."

"Yes and I can tell you the battle is on for whether it's 'Mom' or 'Rosie' that's first out of Sophie's mouth." Grinned Emmett, walking over to the little girl and stroking her hair too. "Gotta admit though," he whispered. "She's a cutie."

We all smiled indulgently at the sleeping girl; who, as if aware that she was being watched, gave a yawn and fluttered open her eyes. They met Ness's, but that wasn't what Sophie wanted to see and the tremble of a lower lip heralded a swift transfer back to Jane. Reassured that Mommy was still there, Sophie settled herself against her as Jane tucked the blanket back around her daughter. Wide brown eyes appraised us all from the security of Mommy's shoulder. A cheeky smile from Emmett garnered one in return before the little head buried herself against her Mommy's neck.

"Never fails to amaze me that they don't feel the cold." Said Charlie. "Ness never seemed to notice the temperature difference between Jake and me and the rest of the family."

"Oh I did." Ness replied. "Mom, Dad and everyone else were cool, you're warm and Jake's hot." Ness grinned at me.

"Not quite that use of the word." Said Edward, descending the stairs behind us, with Bella. "But thanks for saying I'm cool."

"Dad, you will never be cool as long as you live."

"Excuse me? Who was the one stood in the street flapping her arms like a bird when she realised I'd bought a Veyron?"

"Uh… fair point." She conceded. "You have your cool moments."

"He has his 'Volvo…again?' moments too, Ness. I think you were right the first time." Rose said. She turned to Edward. "What are you going to do if Volvo ever go the way Saab did?"

"It won't. I'll increase my shareholding to take control."

"Holy shit." Said Emmett. "So it's true? Jasper and I thought it was a joke, but something about Carlisle's look didn't convince me that he was entirely joking."

"He wasn't. We don't have a large house to run, our daughter's grown, Jake's business makes its own money now, we don't take expensive vacations, so we have the money to invest. I put it into something I can get some benefit from. Carlisle invests in pharmaceuticals and you..?"

"…Bought a soccer team." Emmett admitted. "Long story. Dan's fault."

"Don't blame Dan." Said Jane. "You're the one who plays one-upmanship with him, with no concept of knowing when to stop."

"Tell me about it." Rose huffed, evidently less than impressed by her husband's latest acquisition.

"You bought a soccer team?" Questioned Charlie suddenly very interested.

"Yeah. Bolton Wanderers."

"Bolton what?" said Charlie.

"Bolton Wanderers." Repeated Emmett.

"The team Dan supports?" Queried Heather. "You bought it?" "Yeah."

"Tell them what you were supposed to be doing." Rose hissed.

"I was supposed to be buying a season ticket for Dan's friend Tom, as an anonymous eighteenth birthday gift. I accidentally bought the club instead."

"As you do…" Said Jane, in the same sarcastic tone of voice that her husband would use.

"I'm sure Dan finds it hilarious." Said Heather.

"Oh he does." Rose replied. "He's not the one currently shovelling his life savings into a money pit."

"It is not a money pit." Emmett snapped. "The Reebok stadium just needs a bit of… maintenance."

We could tell that this was a sore point, thankfully alleviated by the sound of two more vehicles arriving outside the house.

We had briefly all been together. Dan had managed some precious time with Sophie, hemmed in on either side by Emmett and Jasper and monitored by Edward. He'd found it tremendously difficult, but the little girl had rewarded his efforts by presenting him with a beaming smile and outstretched arms. Just a few minutes was all he could cope with before Jasper said enough was enough. Dan managed to talk to Stephanie for a few minutes before she took her leave of everyone for the night. There was a moment, as she stood in the doorway of the living room, with Daniel's arm around her; that I wondered whether this was the last time I would be seeing her like this. She'd been blessed with a smooth pregnancy, but getting the baby out was the difficult bit. One set of boy-baby teeth in the wrong place and Carlisle and Edward would be unable to stop the conversion. She knew that, we knew that and for a moment in her face I saw the fear of it. She hid it well, but not well enough from Edward, who followed them out.

Charlie and Heather had taken Sophie and Jane down to their house. Jane had put her daughter to bed and had now returned, taking her place in the arms of her husband. Carlisle, Esmé, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Bella, Jess, Will, Jane, Dan and I sat in the horseshoe-shaped sofa in our large living room and not a word passed from anyone's lips. We'd all sensed Stephanie's fear.

"It'll be alright won't it, Alice?" Jess finally asked.

"I won't be able to tell until the baby's been delivered. You know that."

Jess sighed. "I know. I just thought you might be getting the hang of figuring out these hybrids, now that there are three of them in our family."

"Sadly, no. They are still as impenetrable as ever. But while one in particular is out of the room; Jake, Bella, how's Ness doing?"

All eyes turned to me. "She's doing great thanks." I replied.

"Human blood. As simple as that." Said Carlisle. " All the time we were looking for weird and wonderful explanations and it was right there under our noses."

"Edward has been struggling to come to terms with it." Said Bella. "There have been some profuse apologies, to all of us."

"He wasn't to know human blood was so intrinsic to her." Said Esmé.

"At least we know now." Said Bella. "The change in her after just one week was remarkable, I'm sure Jake will agree. We could see her coming back to us; flashes of the old Ness started appearing. She's so much better now from what she was. Jess has surely told you the extent of it."

"Those absences were shocking." Said Jess. It was like being with a Zombie."

"Believe me; it was like living with one." I said.

"Jake, you do know that zombie's don't exist, right?" Said Jasper, in all seriousness.

"You mean in the same way that vampires don't?" I replied, smirking.

Jasper smiled. "No, they really don't exist."

"Wanna bet?" Said Dan.

"Don't start!" Snapped Alice. That's how the whole soccer team thing got started."

"Let's not go there again." Groaned Jess. "You guys really need to wise up to the wind-up merchant my brother is and just what exactly is Ness doing in the kitchen with Ben? She was supposed to be making him hot chocolate. They're taking forever. What's she doing in there, milking the bloody cows first?"

Jess jumped up and went out into hallway.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed and the rest of us followed her out to see what it was.

Will pushed to the front to get a better look at the sight that presented itself to us. Ness and Ben were sat on the kitchen floor surrounded by a race track marked out with the powdered hot chocolate. Ness was pushing a cocktail stick through a peeled carrot, while Ben was checking that the sliced-potato wheels he'd fixed to his hollowed out potato vehicle were turning properly. Ness looked up at us, a little confused at the audience.

"What?" She asked.

"What are you doing?" Asked Jess.

"Playing Wacky Races with Ben, why?"

"How old are you?" Replied Jess sarcastically.

"Eight." Ness said, deadpan.

Jasper and Emmett sniggered.

"I bet her that she couldn't make the cars from Wacky Races out of the contents of the fridge." Said Ben, holding up his car. "Look Mummy, the Ant Hill Mob's car and I'm making the Bouldermobile next. Ness is making Peter Perfect's Turbo Terrific. She already made Penelope Pitstop's car."

"Out of beetroot?" said Jasper. "That's inspired." He sniggered again.

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh. From all the horribleness we'd been through the last few months, the fact that we now had beetroot-stained kitchen floor tiles was the least of my worries.

I looked at Ben. "You bet Ness that she couldn't make the Wacky Races cars out of what was in the fridge?"

"Uh huh." He replied, still engrossed with smoothing his wheels.

I looked to Dan; he was smirking at his nephew. "Ness is absolutely not buying a soccer team."

Dan grinned at me. "He's a wind-up merchant in training. He just needs a bit of tuition. And fair play to Ness, that's a more than a half decent stab at the Turbo Terrific." A laugh went around the group.

"So Ben?" I asked. "There are eleven cars in Wacky Races, can we all play?"

"But there are twelve of us?" He replied.

"Ben, you know the rules." Reminded Ness. "Grandma Alice isn't allowed to play."

"Grandma can share with me!" He beamed.

"No!" Went a universal shout up from everyone.

Alice huffed. "It's not fair."

Ben's face fell. "I want Grandma to play, she never gets to play."

"Thank you Ben." Alice beamed.

"There is good reason." Said Rose. "You don't play against Alice and Edward, they play each other."

"And Emmett cheats." Said Ness.

"I do not ch…"

"Oh you do!" Said Esmé. "Don't think I don't know how many baseball games you fixed."

Emmett looked at Esmé, almost wounded. Before grabbing and hugging her. "I'm not the only cheat." He whispered, pointing at Carlisle. "November 1953, February 1967."

"Oh, I know. I had words." Esmé grinned.

"In my defence the first time, Jasper was new to our family and I was intimidated by his superior batting skills." Replied Carlisle.

"And the second?" Emmett pressed.

"Wanting to get one over me." Said Edward, appearing by Bella's side. "He failed." He grinned at Carlisle.

"If it hadn't been for you meddling kids…" Carlisle parodied.

"Oh it's all gone a bit Scooby Doo." Joked Jess. "Well, as we're all a bunch of cheats and liars, may I suggest that we all use whatever means necessary to win the race? Ben, what are the rules?"

Ben looked at Ness, she looked at him and the pair of them shrugged their shoulders.

Edward snickered.

"Dunno." Ben said. "We hadn't got that far yet."

Jess's shoulders slumped. "Typical boy."

"No, let's make the cars." Said Will, pulling Jess into the kitchen and stepping carefully over to Ben. We can make the rules up as we go."

Carlisle followed. "I've spent the best part of four hundred years doing exactly that. We'll clean up the kitchen floor when we're finished, right guys?"

"Even Alice and I can play?" Said Edward.

"Yes." Said Jess. "All means at your disposal." She smiled at him.

"Oh." Edward seemed thrilled and then his face fell. "Bella!" He griped at his wife.

"Bella!" Cried Alice from the other side of the kitchen.

"It levels the playing field." She smiled. "I heard Jess say 'all means at our disposal, so I'm using my means."

Jasper guffawed. "Bella, you truly are an asset to our family."

"What did Bella do?" Asked Ben of Jess.

"She put her shield over the rest of us. It neutralises Edward and Alice's talents."

"Cool!" Said the little boy, completely unperturbed and immediately returned to his car. "Dad, help me with this…"

I sat down next to Ness on our kitchen floor, she handed be the now completed Turbo Terrific. "You're my Peter Perfect." She said.

"And you'll always be my Penelope Pitstop."

She grinned at me. "'Except I'm the better driver."

I leaned forward, planted a brief kiss on her lips and eyed her speculatively. "Are you now?"

"Mmhmm."

"We'll have to see about that."

"Baby, you ain't gonna see my beetroot for dust." She purred.

"Damn, I knew I should've washed the kitchen floor."

Ness started sniggering, she looked at me, the cheeky, unconscious, unaffected bright smile that I loved was firmly back on her face. "I love you Mr Black." She said.

"And I love you Mrs Black; with every atom of my being." I kissed her deeply, but I knew what she was doing. You didn't hang around vampires without knowing what 'all means at your disposal' meant. She was winding me around her little finger.

"But I'm still going to beat your ass at this." I added, grinning at her. She narrowed her eyes.