Edward watched from the window as Bella waved goodbye to Seth and Billy. He had stayed inside the house so that their goodbye wouldn't be any more awkward than it had been as they prepared to leave. Billy obviously wasn't his biggest fan. He had glared at him as he wheeled himself to the front door with Seth.
Seth had bounced through the house, excited to spend time with his grandfather.
"Edward, my Grandpa Billy says we are going to a bonfire tonight!" he exulted.
"I think that's great! You'll have to tell me all about it after the game tomorrow." He'd reached out and bumped knuckles with Seth as he passed.
Billy muttered something under his breath. Edward thought it sounded like, "Don't know why she thinks you're better than the boys on the rez."
He didn't know what to think. What boys on the rez? Was Bella dating someone that Billy knew? He didn't think so, but he started to wonder as he stood, looking out the front window in a daze.
"What are you thinking about? You look like you're a million miles away," Bella said as she walked back into the house.
"Sorry. I was just thinking about Billy. He really doesn't like me, does he?"
"That's not Billy's problem," she said with a sigh.
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. "Then what is Billy's problem?"
She leaned into his chest, breathing deeply. "Billy doesn't like the idea of me dating. He's worried that I'll forget Jake, that I'll let Seth forget his father."
Edward pulled back, lifting his hands to her face and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "He should know you better than that."
"He does. At least, I think he does. I don't know where this is coming from."
"You told me that he never moved on after his wife died. Maybe he doesn't know how. Maybe it scares him that you do," Edward said. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.
"You're taking this really well, forgiving him for all of this pretty quickly. He hasn't treated you very well," she said.
"I think I can understand why he's so worried."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, pushing back a little so she could look up at him.
"Bella, I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose your spouse. I know you've experienced that pain. Billy lost his only son on top of that. That's something I have had a small taste of, and I know you have, too. Now, he worries that you and Seth could leave. It must be so hard. I know he isn't a bad guy. I hope at some point he'll be okay with you dating me."
"Wow, Dr. Cullen. Did you take some psychiatry courses in medical school?"
"I did," he whispered, moving closer to her. "I learned a little about body language in one of my classes."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes. And right now, you look like someone who would like to be wrapped up in my arms and kissed."
"You are good!" she said, smiling. She was grateful for the change of subject. She pushed up onto her toes and reached for his face.
"Did you have your heart set on a movie?" she asked when they broke the kiss.
"Not really. I'll do anything you'd like to do."
"Anything?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
He smiled, "Whatever you say."
She squirmed a little and he started to laugh.
"What did you have in mind? I've already agreed to go casual for dinner, what else were you thinking?" he asked.
"I'd just like to do something where we can talk."
"I have a great idea, then. Let's go."
"What's your idea?" she asked.
"You'll see when we get there." He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door. She reached for her purse and keys.
The ride to Port Angeles was comfortable. They talked a lot, but even the silences were nice. He held her hand most of the time. He'd already learned that she was not an easygoing passenger, and he tried to be careful about his speed and his driving.
"Won't you tell me your idea?" she asked again.
"You'll see pretty soon. Isn't that good enough for you?"
"Can't you tell that I'm an impatient person?" she asked and laughed.
He just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."
They were near Port Angeles when he asked her, "Would you like to eat first, or do something else?"
"I'm starving! Let's eat first."
"Sounds good to me."
"Where are we eating?"
"Have you ever been to Gordy's?" he asked her, curious about the look that crossed her face.
"I love Gordy's. I haven't been there in a while, though."
"Gordy's it is, then." He drove down First Street and pulled into the Italian restaurant's parking lot.
Bella almost told Edward that she and Jake would stop at Gordy's each time they travelled to Forks from Seattle. She stopped herself. The reason she hadn't been there in so long was that it brought up too many memories when she tried to go there with Seth. She hadn't attempted it in a while.
But, she was starting again, moving on, and it seemed like a good idea to go there with Edward.
A cute teenager showed them to a table. She assumed that they were married.
"Would you and your wife like a table or a booth?" she asked Edward.
Bella blushed a little, but Edward took her hand and answered, "A booth, please."
When they were seated, she looked at him incredulously. "Boy, nothing shakes you."
"It didn't bother me that she said that. Did it bother you?"
"No, it didn't bother me, but it surprised me." She pulled the menu in front of her face to hide her cheeks.
She scanned the menu quickly. Things hadn't changed much since the last time she'd been there. She watched as Edward followed suit, picking up his menu and examining it closely, teasing her.
He laughed as he pointed out a pizza named the Bella Luna. "Should we try the pizza they named after you?"
She shook her head. "I thought you'd rather have the He-Man."
He reached over and grabbed her, making her laugh. "I'd much rather have the Bella." He kissed her, making her forget about the menu. It fell into her lap.
The waitress chose that moment to approach their table.
"What would you like to drink?" she asked and they broke their kiss. Bella's cheeks were flaming. Edward laughed at her.
"I'll have the Italian orange soda," he said. "Bella, what would you like?"
"The same," she said, trying to cover her face with the menu again.
"Sorry if I embarrassed you," he said after the waitress left.
"I don't know why I forget where I am when you kiss me," she said, sighing.
"I like that," he said, kissing her forehead and nose.
They were sitting close to each other. She snuggled into his side, amazed at how easy it was to be there.
The waitress brought their drinks and Bella realized that they hadn't decided what they wanted.
"We'll take a medium Bella." Edward laughed and the waitress gave him a strange look. She wrote the order on her pad and left.
"I thought I was a small," she said, nuzzling back into his side.
He kissed her softly again. "You are, but I'm really hungry."
"So, what else do you have planned?" she asked.
"How would you like to walk through downtown Port Angeles holding my hand?" He smiled and his eyes twinkled.
"What have you got up your sleeve?"
"Art on the Town. We won't look at every sculpture, but the Avenue of the People is worth the trip."
"I haven't seen most of the art. I think that's a great idea."
It would be a perfect opportunity to talk to him. Sue thought she should discuss what was happening between them with him, and after tonight she agreed. He was willing to put up with Billy for now, but he may not always be so forgiving. Bella knew that she needed to talk to Edward about Seth's idea of him, too. It was only fair that he knew what Seth was thinking. And after Billy's behavior, she felt like she owed him more of an explanation. She was almost tempted to name a movie instead of Art on the Town. Almost.
Edward didn't know where his confidence had come from tonight. He wasn't fazed by the hostess and her assumptions about him and Bella. He didn't care that the waitress had walked up on them while they were kissing. All he could think about was being with Bella, holding her as they sat in the booth eating.
When they finished at the restaurant, he drove them to another spot in Port Angeles and they parked. "We'll start on Cherry Street," he said as he helped her out of the car.
"Do you have a guide?"
"Yes. I thought about bringing you and Seth here one Saturday," he said as he grabbed it out of the glove box. He pulled a jacket out of the back seat and helped her put it on. "I know you'll get chilly."
"Thank you." He watched as she smelled the jacket.
"Does it smell bad?" he asked.
Her cheeks pinked up a little, "No, it smells like you."
He pulled her close to him. "You can get closer to the source of the smell, you know," he said with a smile.
They walked up Cherry Street, admiring the sculptures the city had placed there. The breeze coming in off of the ocean was brisk, and Edward was glad that he'd given her the jacket. A few clouds were rolling in, and it would probably be raining in another hour. They continued to walk, moving through the small streets toward Laurel Street and the Avenue of the People. Bella got quieter as they walked, commenting only occasionally.
"I can't believe how realistic these sculptures are," she said as she leaned closer to the sculpture of a small child reaching for his mother. "I can tell what they are doing, even though they're really just big blocks of wood."
"We have some really talented artists around here, don't we?"
"Some people are really good at finding ways to express their feelings," she said quietly.
He knew that she wanted to talk about something, but was afraid to start. "Bella?" He pulled her attention back to him.
"What?"
"Let's go to the pier. We can watch the ocean, and you can tell me what's on your mind."
"Am I that obvious?" she asked.
"I'm starting to understand you a little." He took her hand and led her down Laurel Street, toward the pier. Neither of them said anything until they found a bench on the sidewalk that led to the pier.
He signaled to her that she should sit there. He sat next to her and pulled her close to his side.
"Now, tell me what's on your mind, Bella."
She sighed, keeping her eyes on the ocean. "I just keep thinking about the hostess at Gordy's. She assumed that we were a couple…a married couple. It didn't bother me, but it made me realize that I need to talk to you about us and about Seth."
"It makes sense for you to want to talk about us, but Seth?" he questioned.
She sat forward on the bench, reaching into the back pocket of her jeans. He saw the folded paper in her hand, and wondered what it could be. She handed it to him. He opened the paper and looked at the picture that Seth had drawn.
"That's me and Seth, and that's Emmett and Bryce. He's a great little artist."
"He told me that he and Bryce have decided that you should be his dad," she whispered. He could tell she was afraid of his reaction.
"I know."
"You know?"
"Emmett told me at the cabin."
"And you haven't said anything about it to me?"
"I've thought about it, but there was never a good time."
"It doesn't scare you?" She looked at his face.
"It terrifies me. But, he's four; he doesn't know what it all means."
"He told me about their plan at the cabin, when I was tucking him in."
Edward turned to look at her. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I was afraid. I didn't know how you would take it. I didn't know if you would think I had something to do with it." She looked at her hands.
"Bella, I know you didn't have anything to do with it. I heard Jasmine at your house, too. I know the kids discussed this when they were together. I wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me what Seth said."
"I'm sorry. It's just…you've been so good to both of us, and I didn't want to scare you away. I didn't think I could stand not talking to you every day." She gave him a grim little smile. "You've become an addiction, I think."
He kissed her softly. "I've kind of taken a liking to you, too."
"I don't know what I'll do when baseball season ends and I don't have an excuse to see you four days a week. It's all over next Saturday."
"You'll still see me, I promise."
"I will?"
"I still want to spend time with you and with Seth. But, Bella, I think it's only fair that you know that I'm not sure if I ever want to get into a serious, committed relationship again. I can't promise anything about where this" – he pointed at her and then at himself – "is going. I still need time to figure out what I want. I'm sorry if that isn't what you want to hear."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him.
"I understand," she said.
"Thank you. I do love to spend time with you. I just don't know…"
She stopped him by placing her hand over his mouth. "You don't have to explain. I know what you've been through."
He kissed her palm and then her fingers as he pulled her hand away from his mouth.
"You need to know that I haven't even considered seeing anyone until I saw you at that first tee ball practice. You make me think about wanting more. I've trusted you enough to tell you everything, and that is huge for me."
She sat back a little. "I just need to be careful for Seth's sake. I don't want him getting his hopes up, only to be crushed when you decide you're ready to move on without us."
He held his breath. "I don't like the sound of that. It's almost painful to think about not seeing you. Please be patient with me. I wish I was as strong as you are."
She snuggled back into his side. "I'll try."
The sky was completely covered with clouds now, making it darker. It was hard for him to see her face. He wanted to know what she was thinking, and a part of him was terrified that he'd said the wrong thing and she wouldn't want to stick around to see if he could overcome his fears.
He felt a raindrop hit his face and he stood quickly, pulling her up by the hand. "We should get back to the car before we get drenched."
They ran back through the streets to the parking lot, still holding hands.
The drive back to Forks was quiet. Bella didn't say a lot, and Edward was worried. When they were almost back to her house, his cell phone rang. She picked it up and told him, "It's Lily."
He answered and talked to her for a minute.
"Sorry, that was about my favorite patient, Mrs. Fredricks. She had surgery today and she's having a tough time."
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"No. She's in Seattle. I sent her to a specialist there. I really hope she starts feeling better after everything she's been through."
Bella reached over and took his hand for the first time since they got back into the car. "She will."
When they pulled into her driveway a little while later Bella looked at him and said, "It's getting late. We have an early game."
He knew that she was pulling back from his just a little, and it hurt. But he understood her reasoning. He helped her out of the car and walked her to the front door.
"Bella, I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Edward." She reached for his face and kissed him. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Can I pick you up for the game?"
"Of course." She opened the door and went inside, turning to watch him walk back to his car.
He looked at her as he drove past her house and his heart hurt a little. He picked up his cell phone and hit a speed dial. "Emmett, can I come talk to you?"
Bella hadn't slept well. It was time to get ready for the game but she found herself wandering aimlessly through her house. She got dressed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail before moving into Seth's room and sitting on the edge of his bed for a moment. The entire morning was spent thinking about her talk with Edward last night. In fact, it's all she'd thought of all night.
Her mind ran on as she thought about how much it had hurt her to realize he wasn't looking for a relationship. Before last night, she hadn't thought she was, either.
She walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She saw the puffiness under her eyes and the dark circles that had formed during her sleepless night. A quick glance at the clock made her realize that she had enough time for a phone call to Angela. She'd tell her everything. But before she could dial, she heard a knock on the door.
She peeked through the peephole. Edward was standing on the porch, looking just as tired as she did. She quickly unlocked the door and opened it for him.
"You're early," she said.
"I couldn't sleep most of the night, and I didn't know where else to go. I wanted to be here with you, Bella."
She stepped forward, into his arms.
"I missed you, too."
They moved to the couch and sat down together. She sat far enough away that she could turn and look at him as they talked.
"Bella, I really want to try with you. I was just sick after I left here last night. I didn't think you'd want to talk to me today."
"I couldn't sleep, either. I just kept hoping that I hadn't driven you away. I'm sorry you felt pressured."
"Can we just take this slowly? I don't want to rush into anything. But I can't imagine letting you go."
She moved closer to him. "We'll take it as slowly as you need. I don't want you to disappear."
"That won't happen," he said.
He pulled her closer, wrapping himself around her, and they sat in silence until it was time to go.
Rose waved Bella over to the bleachers and she let go of Edward's hand. Seth ran past her as she went to sit down. "Hi, Mom! Grandpa just brought me."
She smiled at him and turned to take her spot.
"Well, I'm surprised to see you two together today," Rose said.
"What are you talking about?"
"Edward spent the night at our house. Didn't he tell you? He was really depressed when he called last night. Emmett told him to come over and they talked until about two o'clock this morning. I doubt that he slept at all after that."
"I didn't sleep very well myself."
"What happened?"
"Didn't Emmett tell you?"
"He only told me that it was time for Edward to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship again."
Bella quietly told Rose all about their night in Port Angeles. "I really thought I'd chased him away."
Rose reached over and took her hand. "He's just scared. You had such a great relationship with Jake that I don't think you can understand how it feels to have someone stop loving you. He hasn't been himself since Tanya left - until the last little while, since he's been seeing you."
"I don't know what to do, Rose. I'm starting to need him, and so is Seth. What if he decides he can't be in a relationship? I'm scared, too."
"Have faith in him, Bella."
"I'm trying. We've decided to take it slow and see what happens."
They watched the rest of the game talking quietly now and then. Rose seemed to know that Bella needed her support. She kept squeezing her hand and patting her leg.
At the end of the game, Bella walked to the dugout. Seth skipped out to her. "Wasn't that great, Mom. I hit it really far today!"
She laughed and rubbed his head. "You are getting better at hitting the ball. Watch out Major League players."
"He really is quite a good little player," Edward said.
Charlie walked over to them before they could leave.
"Hey Slugger!" he said, picking Seth up. Seth laughed. "I really wanted to catch you before you left. Sue and I wanted to invite you to a barbecue at our place after the closing ceremonies next Saturday. We need to celebrate Seth's season."
"That sounds like fun," Bella said.
"Edward, you're invited, too," Charlie said.
"I'd love to come."
"Okay then. I'll tell Sue that we're on. I'll call you later in the week, Bella."
"I'm glad you're willing to come to the barbecue," she said as they walked to the car. Seth was running ahead of them.
"I'm so sorry for making you doubt me, Bella. I'll try to make it up to you."
***************
The next week was strange. Edward texted Bella every day, and she would answer, but she was being very cautious and it felt weird. He saw her at practice and at the game on Tuesday, and he'd even spent time at her house after the game. But things were different.
By Saturday, he wasn't sure that going to a barbecue at her dad's house was the best idea. He was thinking about making an excuse as he drove to pick them up.
Seth ran out the door as soon as he pulled into the driveway. "Coach Edward, I'm going to get a trophy today! My mom cleared a place in the living room this morning so that I can show it off."
"Wow. How about showing me where it will go?"
"Cool!" Seth grabbed his hand and led him into the living room. He dragged him over to the fireplace, pointing to a spot on the mantle. "That's where it's going to be!"
Bella came into the room. "Seth, couldn't you wait for Edward to get into the house before you jumped him?"
Edward laughed. "I didn't mind. I can't wait to see the trophy there."
"We'll put it up there after the barbecue. Will you help me, Edward?"
All plans for escaping the family gathering went up in smoke with Seth's question.
"Sure, Seth. I'd love to help you."
They loaded into the car and headed to the ball field. Their game was the later game, which was fortunate. They wouldn't have to wait as long for the closing ceremonies.
When they arrived at the field, Seth jumped out of the car and ran to a large group of people who were gathered on the grass.
"Who are all those people, Bella?"
"They're from the reservation. Most of them were Jake's friends. Billy is the head of the Tribal Council. Sue is part of the Council since her first husband died."
"Is there someone there you're excited to see?"
"What are you talking about?"
Edward let out a huge breath, "I heard Billy say something about the guys on the rez."
"Did you think I was seeing someone from the reservation?"
He bowed his head for a moment, trying to avoid her gaze. "I thought you might be."
She laughed and took his hand. "Not even close. Now, let's go meet some of Billy's friends."
Edward felt like he was introduced to half of the Quileute tribe. His head was spinning with the names. He could tell that several of them were his age and must have been Jake's friends. Two of them had actually grabbed Bella and lifted her off of the ground in bone smashing hugs. The small twinge of jealousy surprised him.
She introduced them as Quil and Embry, Jake's best friends. Embry's wife was by his side, but Quil appeared to be alone.
"So, this is the competition," Quil said as he shook Edward's hand. He winked at Bella and she rolled her eyes.
"Quil, you know I'll always love you, but I'll never date you!" Quil joined her as she laughed.
Edward felt a little left out, being around the people who made up Bella's past. He was relieved when Seth grabbed his hand and said, "Come on! We need to warm up."
He turned and smiled at Bella as they walked to the field.
His mind wasn't really on warming up, or on the game. The kids did well, and he had fun with them, but he kept thinking about the distance that had developed between them during the last week. It ate at him.
Rose and Bella were talking as they watched the game, and he wondered what they were discussing.
At one point, the baseball caught him unaware, smacking into the side of his head. He nearly swore, but kept his cool when he saw one of the players in the dugout watching him.
Before he knew it, the game was over. Emmett was handing out the team pictures and Bella and Rose were handing out treats. It was the last game, the last time for treats, possibly the last real chance to spend time with Bella.
He caught her eye as she handed the kids their drinks and she frowned at the look on his face. She walked over when she finished and took his hand. "Let's go watch Seth get a trophy," she said.
Edward felt like he was disconnected from himself as he watched his little team getting their trophies. It was as though he was watching everything from a distance. He couldn't understand why the last tee ball game made him feel like he did in the weeks after Tanya left - lost and alone. He felt Bella squeeze his hand.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I am. Sorry, I'm just thinking about some things."
"They must not be good, you're frowning."
He pulled her closer. "They aren't good things. Maybe you can help me think happier thoughts."
"I'll try," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. She turned her attention back to Seth and let go of Edward when Seth collected his trophy. She snapped pictures and cheered.
Before he knew it, they were driving to Charlie's house.
"Are you feeling okay," Bella asked.
"I'm fine."
Seth chattered most of the way to Charlie's. He was so excited about his trophy. It saved Edward from having to talk.
There were already several cars in front of Charlie's house. Edward recognized Billy's car. He felt like the day had gone from bad to worse. He wasn't sure he was up to spending time with Billy today. He knew that he wasn't well liked by Bella's father-in-law.
He was surprised when they went around the house to the back yard. Billy was watching for him. He signaled to him that he should join him by the picnic table.
"I need to see if Sue would like some help. I'll be back," Bella said. She went in the back door.
Edward slowly made his way to the table and Billy.
"I wanted to talk to you, Edward," Billy said as Edward sat down.
"Sure, Billy. What did you have on your mind?" He was cringing, waiting for Billy to tell him why he shouldn't be dating Bella.
"Seth really likes you," Billy stated.
"I know. I really like him, too."
"He told me about the stories you told him when you visited Jake's grave. I remember when you played against Jake. Those were good memories. He really enjoyed playing against Forks High. I just wanted to say thank you. Seth needs to know who his father is."
Edward was stunned. "You're welcome. You know, I think Seth should know all about his dad. I would never want him to forget."
Billy looked away, "I'm starting to realize that."
"Thanks, Billy."
He twisted back to look at Edward. "I don't know why Bella is choosing to date you, Edward, but you seem like a good enough guy. I just don't want to see them suffer anymore than they already have. Please don't hurt them."
"I won't. I promise."
Bella joined them at the table.
"Bella, I wanted to talk to you about having Seth stay with me."
"Sure, Billy." She was looking at Edward, trying to gauge what had passed between the two men.
"Rachel and Paul will be here next week. I'd really like to pick Seth up Thursday around one. If it's okay, I'd have him stay until Sunday evening."
"That sounds like a great idea, Billy. I'll tell Seth."
He reached for her hand. "Thank you, Bella."
Edward relaxed a little and enjoyed the rest of the day. A plan was forming in his mind. He needed time with Bella – to fix things.
They stayed at Charlie's house until late in the afternoon. Seth was tired and Bella was trying to convince him that he should take a bath when they got home and go to bed early.
"I'll come play ball with you tomorrow if you'll go to bed early for your mom," Edward said and Seth quickly agreed.
He waited in the living room while Bella got Seth into the bath. He joined her in Seth's room to help read him a bedtime story. He realized that he really enjoyed helping to get Seth to bed.
When Seth was tucked in, he joined Bella on the couch.
"Is everything okay?" she asked.
"Things have been weird since last week. Do you still want me here?"
"Of course I do," she said. "I just wanted to make sure I wasn't pushing you too hard."
"Bella, I'm starting to realize that I can't go without seeing you."
She raised her eyebrows. "Really?"
He nodded and she moved closer.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked.
"Please," she said and leaned forward to reach his lips.
He broke their kiss after a minute. "Bella, I know this might sound strange, but can you take some time off of work next week?"
"Probably. What are you thinking?"
"I'd like to take you to the cabin. I think we need to spend some time together. We need to talk and decide what we're doing. You can finally sleep in the bedroom that Esme prepared for you." He smiled.
"When would we go?"
"Thursday, as soon as I can finish appointments. I have Friday off."
"I'll talk to my boss. I may have to take the laptop with me and work a little, but I doubt it will be a problem."
"Good. I need some time alone with you," he said. He leaned in for another kiss.
_________________________________________________________
A/N I know, a little step backward. Edward still has some healing to do.
The next couple of chapters will be big…
Thanks again for reading!! I'm really grateful for the reviews and the favorites. You all rock my world!
Oh, by the way – there are a few pics on my Twilighted forum thread, Art on the Town and some of the pizzas from Gordy's. :D
