Here is the next chapter. I hope you guys like it. It deals a lot with both Rachel's and Shelby's insecurities. Please tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Wednesday Rachel's POV
The school day was rather uneventful today. I didn't get to speak with my mom very much; just a simple hello and how are you doing. The other teachers continued to annoy me with their lack of interest in education, and the cheerios glared at me whenever they saw me with Noah. They either really care about glee and sincerely believe that he will mess it up, or they're jealous that he likes me more than them. I'm leaning towards the latter.
I'm happy that we have glee practice tomorrow though, and then I have my private lesson the day after. I really want to know more about the woman who is my mother. Does she have any other children? Is she dating anyone? I'm assuming that she's not married since there is no ring present on her finger. Can she cook? Does she like me? Does she want me? Am I good enough for her? So far she has been very kind and considerate of me, but that doesn't mean that she wants to raise a teenager. Especially one with so much baggage. She also gave me away once before. What will stop her from doing it again? But I want her to want me so badly. I want her to tell me that I'm perfect, that she loves me and will never leave me. I want her to wrap me up in a big warm mom hug. I want to know what that feels like. Sometimes I want to walk right up to her, grab her by her shoulders, and just scream in her face, "I'm Rachel Berry! Your daughter. Do you want me or not?!"
I sigh. That's not going to happen; not only would it be rude to give her such a shock, I'm pretty sure that would make her not want me. I grab my things from my locker and go to close it when it's slammed shut for me. Turning I expect to find the Unholy Trinity shooting me daggers again. Instead I find Kurt, Tina, Artie, and Mercedes standing there with Kurt being the closest. He must have been the one to close my locker.
"Hi." I greet shyly. We may be in the same club, but I still don't know them very well. I only just got everyone's names down. Kurt grabs my arm and starts walking to the school's exit, his posse following.
"Barbra, we have decided that you will be our friend." That was unexpected.
"Okay?" I answer unsurely.
"We were skeptical of you at first when we saw you hanging around Puckerman so much. We were afraid that we were going to be dealing with another one of Sue Sylvester's pawns that's sole purpose in life is to torment us." Twirling to face me, "But it seems that the cheerios have rejected you despite your close relationship with one of the most popular guys in school."
"Um…Thank you?" How am I supposed to respond to that?
"You're welcome." He starts off towards the doors again.
"Shouldn't we tell her about the ESK?" Mercedes pipes out grabbing my other arm.
"ESK? What's that?" I ask.
Artie now rolling in front of us answers. "Emergency Slushy Kit."
"Emergency Slushy Kit?" What in the world?
"It's for when we get a slushy facial." Artie responds matter-of-factly.
"Okay. I know that you're trying to help, but you're just confusing me here."
"The popular people here like to enforce their status by throwing slushies into the faces of those they deem "nerds" or "geeks"." Mercedes elaborates.
"That's horrible! Why has no one reported it to the principal?" That is assault, criminal charges could be brought up on those students. Kurt lets out a sarcastic laugh.
"Oh, believe me. We all use to report it, but nothing gets done. We've given up on trying to stop them and started focusing on how to avoid them and how to cope with them. That's why you need to bring at least two extra sets of clothing, or as we like to call it, an ESK. We'll teach you how to get the dye out of your clothes the first time it happens." Great. I get out of the system away from abuse only to end up in a high school that is rampant with bullying. At least they use food products to assault you and not their fists.
"Oh. So that means that the members of the glee club are considered nerds." I ask for clarification.
"We're below the nerds. The jocks and the cheerleaders live in the penthouse, the preps live on the regular floors, the people who play dunces and dragons live in basement. And us, the gleeks. We live below the subbasement in the sewers." Artie answers.
"Look we have to go, but here are our numbers. If you have any questions, or you get slushied and don't know what to do just give one of us a call or send a text." Kurt says handing me a piece of paper.
"Thank you. It's nice to know that I have some friends here. It always sucks being the new girl."
"Us gleeks need to stick together. We'll see you tomorrow." We say our goodbyes and they leave. I look down at the numbers. I finally have friends. Wait. How am I supposed to text them if I don't have a cell phone? Would it be too much to ask 3M for one? She's already done so much for me I really don't want to inconvenience her any more. Glancing up I spot Noah walking toward me from the gym exit. I wonder how much he knows about my mom.
Will's POV
Walking into the choir room I notice Shelby standing by the sheet music with several books open. She still looks drained, but at least she doesn't look like she's about to drop over dead. These past couple of weeks have been so hard on her. I wish there was something more that I could do to help her. She looks up at the sound of my steps.
"Hey. You headed out?" She asks shuffling the pages together and returning them to their notebook.
"I was wondering if you wanted to have Chinese for dinner. Something easy while we're on the phone trying to find Rachel." I answer.
"Inviting yourself over again I see." She retorts with a smile.
"I didn't think I needed an invitation since I have a key now." I jest back. It's good to see her returning to her normal self. She laughs.
"Dinner would be great, but I was thinking Breadstix and a movie." I raise my eyebrows in surprise.
"Don't you have to call Stan the social worker back?" I respond in confusion. She shakes her head no.
"I have a face to face meeting with him in a week. I should be able to get somewhere with him then. Heavens knows that I'm not getting anywhere over the phone." She replies.
"Oh. Well at least this is progress." Sighing she takes a seat on the piano bench with her head bowed.
"Its progress, but I still have a long way to go before I meet her. First I have to convince them that I may in fact be her mother, then they will most likely want to run a DNA test to confirm, which could take weeks or months." She looks up at me and the pain in her eyes nearly breaks my heart. "And even after I've found her and she's living with me it won't be easy. I have no idea how to raise a child. Teach them and coach them yes, but raise one no. She's also been in the system for so long that I don't know what kind of trauma she might have suffered and what that has done to her. Is she a criminal? Is she violent and angry? Is she a drug addict? What if she doesn't like me or blames me? I just… I want to find her so bad but I'm afraid of what I'll find."
Taking her into my arms I kiss the top of her head. "You don't know that any of those things are true, and if they are you're not alone. I'll be there helping you through the entire time. And you have time before you need to start worrying about that. Okay? You need to relax so you don't look deranged and unstable when you meet Stan." I joke hoping to bring her out of her funk. Earning a punch to shoulder hurt but was so worth it when she lifts her head and I find a smile adorning her beautiful face. Unable to help myself I angle our faces to kiss her passionately.
Rachel's POV
Noah and I are wandering along the trail through the park sipping our coffees. He's been telling me all about the misadventures of his adolescent years, about his adorable little sister, and about his sweetheart of a mother. We've come to a lull in conversation though and I can't help it any longer so I just come out and ask.
"Can you tell me about my mother?"
"What do you want to know?"
"I don't know… just everything that you know." I reply.
"Okay. Um…" He steers us to a bench to sit down. "Well. She's a lot like you actually. Loves Broadway. Apparently she tried to be on Broadway when she was younger, but never made it. I kind of get the feeling that it was more because she gave up than because she didn't have the talent. You haven't heard her sing yet, but she's amazing. She's driven and stubborn. Always gets her way; a lot like someone else I know." He elbows my side with a smirk. "She doesn't put up with any of our crap unlike Mr. Shue. She's one of those teachers that you hate because they're strict and expect you to actually do your homework, but then you love because they truly care about you, your wellbeing and your future."
"She sounds wonderful. Noah…" I hesitate.
"What?"
"Does…does she have any other kids?" I ask quietly.
"Not unless she was a surrogate more than once."
"Does she have a boyfriend? I'm a little afraid that if she does that he won't want me, and then she'll pick him over me." I reveal.
"I don't think that she would pick some schmuck over her own flesh and blood, Rachel. As for a boyfriend, that depends on who you ask." I send him a look of confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"If you were to ask her then she'd tell you no. But I know for a fact that she's at least involved in a physical sense with someone." He explains.
"And how would you know that?" I question.
"Because as I was leaving school today I walked past the choir room and saw her and Mr. Shue making out."
"Eww." I let out.
"I know. Makes me wonder what else they've done in there." I punch his arm for the crude comment.
"So Mr. Shue huh." I say after a minute of silence.
"Yeah. I don't think you'll have to worry about him not wanting you. I know that before him and his ex-wife broke up they were trying for a baby."
"That's a little different. He wants a baby. His own baby. Not someone else's teenage daughter." I retort.
"Yes. But you're Shelby's daughter, and whether or not she wants something serious I know he does. Half of glee practice is spent with him checking her out and fawning over her talent. That man is wrapped around her finger. He would probably jump off a cliff for her if she asked."
We sit for several minutes stewing over the conversation. Out of the corner of my eye I see Noah glance at his watch.
"I should walk you home. It's getting late." He says.
Standing up we link arms and head toward the new apartment 3M and I live in now.
Walking in the door my nose is assault by a mouthwatering smell. I move toward the kitchen and find 3M making dinner singing along to a Steppenwolf CD.
"Oh. Hello Mausi." She turns down the speakers. "How was your stroll with Noah?"
"It was good. We talked a lot about his family. I wish that I could visit his mom. She was the only female role model I had when I was growing up. I miss her terribly." I answer sitting down at the table. How 3M managed to completely furnish our apartment in the short amount of time we've been here I have no idea.
"The sooner you tell your mother who you are, the sooner you can visit Mrs. Puckerman." 3M levels at me.
"I'm not ready to tell her. I know hardly anything about her yet." I respond.
"Just do not wait too long to tell her the truth. The longer you lie the harder it is to clean up."
"I know I'm just afraid of her rejection." I say.
"When I met her she did not seem like the type to leave an orphan out on the streets, much less her own daughter." She counters then pivots to stir the sauce in the pan on the stove. Sighing I glare at her back. Ignoring the fact that she's probably right, like always, I decide to get the subject off of telling her the truth.
"I did learn something about her from Noah though." She turns back around.
"Oh. And what was that?" She inquires.
"She's involved with Mr. Shue."
"Mr. Shue? As in the Spanish teacher with the really curly hair?"
"Yep. That's him." I answer.
"Looks like you went to find one parent and instead you found two." She says.
"That is if he wants me." I respond deflated. She laughs.
"Mausi. If what I gathered in the few times I have interacted with your mother is true, and I am a great judge of character mind you, then it will not matter what he wants. Your mother does not lose. She gets what she wants, when she wants. He may not know it yet, but he is about to become a dad."
Shelby's POV
Dinner had been relaxing and peaceful. We had avoid the topic of my daughter in favor of others safer topics like the New Directions and Nationals. We both agreed that the solo should go to Rachel. Despite her limited training she is no doubt the strongest singer we have. Right now we have a slim chance of beating V.A., but with some coaching I might be able to make us a legitimate threat. At the moment Will and I are curled up on the couch watching Funny Lady, the sequel to Funny Girl. Fanny has just gotten on the airplane when I pause the movie. My future relationship with my daughter is not the only relationship that has been on my mind lately. This conversation needs to happen, and it needs to happen before I find my daughter, not after.
"Will, we need to talk." I say.
"About what?" If it weren't for the seriousness of the coming conversation I would have laughed at the terrified expression on his face.
"Our relationship." Taking a deep breath I turn to look at him directly. "I know that you want more out of it, that you want things to move forward; and I want that too." He smiles and goes to interrupt me, but I stop him with a raised hand. "But there are some things that I need to set straight before we make this official. Okay?" He nods his head for me to continue. "I know that you said early that you would be there for me once I've found Rachel, but I need to know in what way. She is my daughter and she will always come first. If you and I are to have a relationship then you are going to have to step up and be willing to fulfill the roll of father. If you can't do that then this needs to end now." He takes my hands into one of his, while the other reaches up to cup my face.
"Shelby, I would be honored to help you raise Rachel as her father." He replies. Letting my tears fall I wrap myself up in his arms and love, thanking God that I won't be losing him once I gain my daughter.
Thank you so much foe reading. Please review. - Shadow Dogma
