She couldn't stop tossing and turning. It was past 3 am yet she hadn't slept a wink. The events of the previous week were still fresh on her mind. Every time she closed her eyes she would see them, feel them harassing her. His words echoed on her mind, repeated over and over until she had to cover her ears with her hands and tell herself that they were gone. That was her new mantra "they're gone, they're gone, they're gone".
She kept tracing the inflamed skin of her arm, butchered by their knife. Isabelle had marked her with several healing runes, but her skin had hardly improved. The words were blurry but could still be read, carved into her skin.
MEMENTO MORI.
Hadn't she taken latin classes, she wouldn't have known what it meant. But she had, she did understand and it scared her.
REMEMBER YOU WILL DIE
A simple yet effective threat. It was unbelievable how much those two little words had scared her. She'd forever have a scar that reminded her of them, of how dangerous her little investigation was, of in how much danger her mother was… It reminded her of her own mortality. It reminded her that even the best warriors, like Hercules or Achilles, die.
She stood up, feeling worthless and pitying herself. How had she come to this? She had thought that she was unbreakable, but she'd been brought back to reality when Isabelle had found her, shaking on her bed. She couldn't stop crying or shaking, she'd held on to the brunette as if she was holding on to dear life. She'd barely talked with anyone, barely ate, barely did anything other than breathe.
So much for being unbreakable.
She hated it, all of it: the feeling of being watched, the insomnia, the pain, the fear, the guilt, the pity that radiated from her friends… She felt weak, like they'd drained her vital energy. She felt twisted, debating between not letting them win and giving up. She felt lost, like a nightmare in which she couldn't find the end of the maze, trapped within her own mind.
She left the room, feeling intoxicated by the smell of old wood and blood. She walked down the corridors, lingering on the false perception of security, feeling her naked feet rub against the warm and soft rug that decorated them. She was enjoying the moment, the silence, and the lack of people glancing every two seconds at her to check she was still keeping it together. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't see the boy walking towards her.
"Clary, what are you doing up so late?" she raised her eyes towards him, blue ones looking back at her. He was worried. Maybe he could read her thoughts, maybe he felt how close she was to going mad.
"Alec" she breathed "I was just thirsty" she lied, though not very convincingly. She was walking on the wrong direction, not to mention that she must have looked like she'd just escaped from a mental institution.
He looked at her, really looked at her, seeing through her lie. "Come on, I'll take you back to your room". She grabbed his wrist as he began to walk, stopping him on his tracks. "I can't go back there" she admitted with a broken voice "Please, Alec"
He did something she didn't expect. He took her in his arms and hugged her tight. She wrapped her arms around him and put her face on his chest, feeling his warmth. She felt secure. "Shh, it's okay Clary" she didn't know when she started to cry, but she was starting to soak his blue t-shirt. He let her go and wrapped an arm around her, guiding her back to the boys' room.
Only when she'd stopped crying did she take in his disheveled appearance, his messy hair and flushed cheeks. She couldn't help but chuckle, which attracted his attention. He was looking at her as if she'd crossed the barrier between sanity and madness; she probably would have too had the situation been reversed. "Why up so late? What were you doing Alec?" she asked mischievously "Or, should I say, who were you doing?"
He blushed. "Shut up, Fray" she laughed at his response.
They'd gone back to silence when she took his hand. "Thank you, Alec. You really don't know how much this means to me, honestly"
"That's what we do. We are like a family here. This is what family does, help each other when they need it, protect each other".
He was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, trying to normalize his breathing. He'd had another nightmare, a different one this time but with his father on it as always.
He'd seen him on his room, going through his shirts, debating on which one to choose. He was talking on the phone but he couldn't hear him. Jace was inside one of his closets, knees hugged to the chest. He guessed he must've been around 6 if he could fit there. Jace kept looking at him, noticing how his father's hair was a darker shade of blond than his and how his features were softer than Jace's. Where Jace was all sharp and defined, he was beginning to age and his abdomen was starting to grow, missing the activity of long-gone years as a shadowhunter.
Michael hung up the phone and ran a hair through his hair, trying to finger-comb it. He took a deep breath and took a gun from a drawer, which made Jace gasp. His father jumped and turned, holding the gun in a defensive stance. Jace held his breath as his father pointed to the closet.
Jace had woken up as he heard his father cock the gun.
He felt his heartbeats go back to normal and was ready to go back to sleep when he heard someone slowly open the dorm's door. He bolted into action, hiding behind the door. He could hear two sets of footsteps, so he decided to grab the closest thing he could find, a book. Once he saw a silhouette, he hit as hard as he could. Just as he pushed the second person against the door, he heard his first victim.
"Oh, shit. Why'd you do that dammit?"
He turned his face towards the voice, the darkness swallowing him "Alec?"
"Yes" he winced as he took out his witch stone light. He turned his face back, only to find Clary looking back at him, in an annoyed way. "Are you planning on letting me go anytime soon, Wayland?" He did as she asked and went back to his bed.
"What are you doing here, Red? Couldn't wait to share my bed, could you?" he whispered.
"Jace!" Alec shot back, as loud as possible while still whispering. "She'll be sleeping in our room for a while"
"Alec, really, there's no need-
"You'll be here for as long as you need, Clary" Alec replied. He'd seen her, covered in blood, shaking, mumbling things about the devil and monsters. He'd been there when she'd told them what had happened. He'd seen pictures of themselves doing their everyday life. He had seen her fight, looking like a true warrior, and now she seemed defeated, overwhelmed. It was in his nature to help.
"Thanks a lot, really" she said, moved by his actions. While they'd hardly talked to each other alone, there was this mutual understanding between them. He'd been the first one to side with her, going against his own sister in the process, and she had always been nice to him. To her, Alec was the silent type of friend, the one who understands without needing to talk about it, the one who'd listen. Her respect for him had rocketed sky-high.
"Where am I sleeping tonight?" she asked.
"There's a spare bed next to Jace's"
"How come your room's so huge?" she asked as she sat on her new bed.
"Lady, everything Jace Wayland has is huge" answered Jace, wiggling his eyebrows. She smiled a bit, thinking about how everyone was trying to make everything go back to normal, as if the recent events hadn't turned their world upside down.
"We'll see that Wayland, we'll see" she said, lying down and covering herself with several blankets to keep the cold from creeping in. "Goodnight guys"
"Night night, Red"
*.*.*.*
She'd been there for half an hour, but the cold kept her from sleeping. She needed warmth to make her feel safe, not cold to make her feel exposed. She looked at her roommates for the night, hardly seeing anything this late. She could see Simon's glasses reflecting the moon light, and Jace's hair, which almost glowed. If asked, she would say that it was insomnia-induced or the pain and stress blinding her, but she didn't really know what led her to get out of her bed and walk over to Jace's.
She kneeled in front of him and softly asked "Jace, are you awake?". He grunted in response and slowly peeled his eyes open. It took him only two seconds to process that Clary was there and he bolted right up in bed "What's it?! Were they here? Are you alright?!"
She shushed him. "No. It's just that… Well, I couldn't sleep and, well, I thought… I thought that, maybe, just maybe, I could…" she was embarrassed to ask. She'd rather have dealt with this in the morning. "I'm cold and… well…" she shook her head "You know what? I'm going back to my bed and-
"Come on, Red" he said while making room for her. She was grateful she hadn't had to say it. She thought it was pathetic to crave warmth and human interaction, but she also knew that she'd been through a traumatic experience, and she needed to cope in one way or another.
Her back was against his chest, the bed a bit small for both of them, but she was comfortable. His warmth, mixed with his perfume and the feeling of his breath against her skin, made her feel at home, protected. "Thank you, Blondie"
"Told you you'd end up sleeping with me" he said, which earned him a kick to the shin. "We're here for you, you know. You don't have to thank us" he whispered, in a more serious tone. He was scared, and knowing that someone out there knew everything they did and everything about them made him feel nauseous. "We have to look after each other"
"Jace, keep talking to me" she was relaxed by his voice, soothing her aching wounds. Her eyelids were heavy, and she could feel Morpheus coming to take her, as he whispered on her ear about a boy and his falcon.
*.*.*.*.*.*
"Leave them alone, Seb" Simon said. "They need some rest"
Sebastian debated whether or not to wake them up. On the one hand, he knew Clary needed sleep. The bags under her eyes were bigger than ever, and so where her dark circles. She hardly payed any attention in class anymore and she was slower when they trained. On the other hand, he'd just seen the girl he liked on his best friend's bed, cuddling. The logical part of him understood, it was normal after what she'd been through. His irrational side wondered why she hadn't chosen him to sleep with and was jealous as fuck.
"If they're caught here, together, they'll be given detention"
"Let's hope no one comes here, then"
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
She woke up relaxed, relishing the feeling of the sunlight on her skin, feeling warm and content. It had been days since she'd slept so well. It was weird how a few hours of good sleep made everything seem insignificant, watered down. She felt better. Had she known, she would've switched bed a few nights ago.
She turned slightly, and saw Jace start to stir. He opened his eyes and looked at her. He'd never woken up next to a girl. He'd always avoided it. Now, watching Clary after waking up, he started to question his sanity. She'd never been as beautiful as she was in that moment, mussed hair, soft eyes and sunlight hitting her. "Good morning" he told her, while rolling over. "How'd you sleep?"
"Like I was in heaven"
It was pretty late for their classes, so they decided to take their time getting ready. While Clary was already dressed –Isabelle had brought some clothes for her- and had already made her bed, Jace was still enjoying his free morning.
She had gathered her things and was ready to go to the bathroom and when she opened the door, she found Jia Penhallow on the corridor. The director took in her appearance, the pajamas on her hands, and looked at the clock on the wall. She frowned and, making Clary step aside, entered the room.
"Forgot something, Red?" Jace asked, while Clary face-palmed herself.
"Yes, Mr. Wayland" the director said, making him jump and cover himself "Since it is forbidden to spend the night outside the assigned dorms, even more if it's in a room from the opposite sex, you'll be on detention this week, starting today. Hopefully the smell of the stables will keep your hormones controlled"
"But-
"No buts, Fray. Unless you want another week" Clary sighed and shook her head. How fast do good things fade…
*.*.*.*.*.*.*
After dressing up and being led to the stables, where she'd never been before, they were ready to start their first detention day. She still found it unfair that she hadn't had the chance to explain herself, but she also knew that the director wouldn't have believed her. She accepted the task given and decided not to think about how warm his chest was, or how tight his arms around her were.
"Come on, Red. The more we do, the sooner we'll leave"
They started to work, in silence, just like they always did when paired in class. They made a good team. They were efficient and synchronized, and their results were always good. They kept stealing glances when the other wasn't looking, and Jace couldn't help but smile when she tripped and cussed.
"Do you find this funny Wayland?" she ask, annoyed. He nodded, amused by her question. "Maybe you won't find it funny when I do this" she said while taking some hay and throwing it at him. He wasn't expecting it and was hit, ending up with his shirt covered in hay. She was the one laughing now.
Soon they found themselves in a hay fight, destroying all the progress they'd made with the detention task. They were laughing like maniacs, but they didn't care. It had been too long since either of them had felt like this, free and like a child. Jace was forced to grow up by his father, who told him not to behave like that. Clary had barely had friends as a kid, she'd never had food fights or water balloon fights. They felt good.
Somehow, while throwing fistfuls of hay at each other, Jace had managed to corner Clary. She was considering ways to escape, but she knew Jace was fast. She tried anyway, but he caught her and fell on top of her. It was a too familiar situation, one that had led to a kiss. She looked at him and raised her hand to pick some debris from his golden hair. She was about to touch it when she heard a horrible sound, somewhere between a whale's cry and nails on a chalkboard, bursting their little bubble.
Jace quickly snapped into action, taking Clary with him. They saw a shadow, like smoke, move towards them, the noise getting louder. They started to run, towards the forest, away from that beast. They ran until their lungs screamed for air, and then ran some more. They came to a stop when they could no longer hear the creature.
They were gasping for air, folded over and hands on their knees. They were sweating and the adrenaline was rushing through their veins. "Wow" Jace breathed "That was-
He couldn't finish the sentence, because they heard a click and then, they were falling, the ground swallowing them both.
Hello guys!
Thank you so much to those of you who are still reading this and for those of you who are new in here. I'm very inconsistent with the uploads, mainly because my everyday life doesn't allow me, but also because I'm very hard on myself and I always end up thinking that my writing's rubbish and that I shouldn't bother. However, I still manage to write something every once in a while, and I don't plan on abandoning this. Hopefully I'll upload soon, because I've developed a ton of ideas lately and I can't wait for you to read 'em.
Anyway, I hope you liked it and hope you enjoyed it. Review if you want and add it to your favorites list if you like the story. Thank you so much for reviewing, I can't believe I got 24 in here. Thank you for adding me to your alerts list and to your favorites. It means so much to me.
Goodnight and good read,
Miss Chemical Reaction
