Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, which is probably a good thing because even though I love the show, I could never write mysteries well enough
Interim chapter- What do you do?
What do you do? How are you supposed to feel, when you only want the best for someone but, the best comes with your worst fears. I can see them as I skirt around the party filled room to find my friends. I can see them, standing feet apart, the cheer of Christmas festivities around them, trying their best to hide their little secret, but everyone knows. As I pass by their friends, I overhear the conversation falling to placing bets on when they will accidentally spill the truth. How will it be spilled? A slip of the tongue? Caught un-aware in an impassioned embrace in the elevator? They don't even realize that where they are standing now is only inches from where I found a jacket resting over the back of the couch, long after it should have been gone, as I came down for a midnight snack a fortnight ago. I wonder if that means I win even though I never placed a single dollar down.
I hear my Father start to sing to the lyrics of Let it Snow and pause in my path across the loft to watch his next move, the branches of our tree poking into my back. He pulls Detective Beckett to his side, her green satin dress catching the hundreds of Christmas lights strewn about our home. He encourages the others to join them covering his true intent and somehow what is regularly a solo song becomes a chorus of couples singing to each other in front of a captivated audience. They look so happy, staring into each other's eyes; it pains me to think any ill will against them. It's all I want for my Dad to be happy but, at what expense? Every step closer he takes to her is a step closer to the edge of danger.
I respect her, I really do. I respect and admire her. She has an inner strength and inner courage; I don't think I could ever muster if I were in her place. She deserves to be happy, deserves to be cared for. And, she's good for my Dad, she really is. She cares about him. I am sure she does. I can almost see it in every glance she steals his way. She brought my Dad and Grams, safely out of that bank, for which I will always be eternally grateful to her. And, I can only imagine she has saved him in the past, perhaps more times than my Father has mentioned. But, as the song ends and the crowd erupts into applause, I can't help but, wish she would have fallen for another man.
I know that is a petty thought and regret thinking it almost immediately. But, I just don't want to lose my Father. I know I have Mother and Grams but, it's my Dad I am closest too. The one I trust most. I am not afraid to admit it. I am a Daddy's Girl.
My Dad casts a quick glance at her as she walks away to the punch bowl and I don't know if I should smile or scream at the adoration reflected in his eyes. As she turns back to face him and I see the devotion gleaming in her gaze, I feel like yelling if you love him let him go, keep him safe. My friends find me, their jubilant comments the same as the rest of the guests; everyone seems to be calling for an encore. I feel like calling for an end to the night. I try to push it all aside enjoy the rest of the party but, as my Dad disappears for a few minutes only to return discreetly trying to straighten his shirt collar, I feel like going back upstairs. What do you do? How are you supposed to feel when you want the best for someone but the best comes with your worst fears?
Author's note: I still am not to sure about this chapter but, I am sticking with my guns on this one either way, so let me know what you think. And, until next time happy reading:)
