As the three of them drove to the cemetery, Norm was unusually quiet. He hadn't said a word and continued to stare out the passenger side window. He purposefully avoided looking at the three white roses laying in front of him on the dashboard. Sig glanced over to his younger brother occasionally but Norman was refusing to make eye contact. Sig also glanced in the backseat to find his youngest brother laying on his stomach trying to read his new book. Sig noticed that the kid kept re-reading the same four pages.

It took Edgar several tries but he finally got what he was reading and was hooked instantly. It was a great story and worth the extra time to try and understand it. Edgar was so focused on his new book that he was surprised that Sig had parked the car and shut the engine off. Edgar looked up and found them parked at the bottom of the hill where his mother was buried. He knew they were coming here from the careful selection of roses but he didn't realize how quickly they got there since he was so engrossed in another world, one full of greasers and Socs.

The three of them sat in the car for a minute, not saying anything. The last time they were all here together was the day of the funeral. Sig had come a few times on his own, always finding flowers on his mother's grave. Dad had come almost everyday since she died, always bringing flowers. The flowers themselves were of different varieties like roses, carnations or lilies but the color was always the same – white. As far as Sig knew, Norman had never come to her grave and no one had bothered to bring Edgar.

Finally, Sig took the roses off the dashboard and unwrapped the paper surrounding them, discarding it in the center console. He handed the first rose to Edgar in the back seat. Edgar gave him a giant smile which faded when he looked over to Norman. Edgar then gave Sig a nod of encouragement and got out of the car, waiting at the bottom of the hill for his brothers.

Sig offered the second rose to Norman but Norm refused to acknowledge it or respond in anyway, just continuing to stare out the window. Sig took the rose back and put it with his own.

"Norman…" Sig began softly but was cut off.

"Maybe another day, Sig," Norm said in a hoarse voice, still looking away from his brother and the hill.

Sig leaned over and put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'll let her know the second rose is from you," he whispered softly and gave his brother's shoulder a slight squeeze. He felt Norm tremble a little but then just nod and shut down. Sig wasn't going to push and just got out of the car, giving Norman one last glance before walking over to Edgar, carrying two roses in his hand.

When Sig got to him, Edgar saw both roses and gave Sig a sad look. "I guess he's going to stay in the car after all."

"He's not ready," was the only explanation Sig could give.

The two of them started walking up the grassy hill covered in tombstones. Edgar couldn't help but turn around and look back at the car. He pondered things for a moment and then came out with the following statement, "Maybe Norman needs a spanking, too?"

Sig laughed automatically but then stopped his littlest brother as they were halfway up the hill. Sig turned Edgar around so he was looking right at him. Edgar was almost face to face with him since he had gotten ahead of Sig on their climb.

"Hey," Sig said quietly, "I just want to make things clear to you. I did NOT punish you with the intention of all that stuff coming out about mom. From you or me. I mean, I knew you had to get some stuff off your chest before you would stop acting like a suicidal manic but I had no idea you were going to….I don't know…."

"…completely breakdown?" Edgar finished his statement. "Me neither. It was pretty scary. I just totally lost it. I'm not sure why that happened. Something about when you went to leave without a word, I just felt like I was gonna die if another person I loved left me. It wasn't the spanking that got me so upset, I think it was the thought that I would have to deal with another thing all alone. Turns out, I was very wrong," Edgar finished with a shrug of his shoulders and that movie star smile of his.

Sig smiled back and then pulled his brother into him for the second hug of the day, careful not to break the roses in their hands. He whispered down in Edgar's ear, "Yes, very wrong, because you don't have to deal with things alone anymore. I didn't want to leave but I didn't know if you were mad at me. Sorry if I scared you. I'll never leave you, even if I am a thousand miles away and in the middle of nowhere with nothing but crab to keep my company."

"If you're lucky, that is," Edgar punched him playfully.

"Oh, I know how to find the crab, don't worry, little brother," Sig said ominously, releasing his hold and walking up the hill, Edgar chasing him and asking him repeatedly how to find the elusive crab. Sig ignored him and playfully walked away from his brother.

Before they knew it, they were both standing in front of their mother's grave. Both of them got quiet and stopped their playful teasing. They stood there silently and stared at the pink marble headstone in the shape of a heart. One on side of the heart was their mother's name along with the years of her birth and death.

Sig noted the year of death was the same year engraved into the side of his high school class ring, the one which his youngest brother was currently wearing. His eyes drifted over to the other side of the marble heart that had his father's name along with his year of birth and a dash with a blank space next to it. He quickly looked away from that side of the stone because the thought of that side being completed was like a knife in his heart. He noticed that there were dead flowers in front of his mother's name and knew his father had placed them there six days ago before he left for his trip. Sig decided to leave them, a silent honor to the woman who spent countless hours over many years waiting for her husband to come back home, praying each time that he would come back home.

Sig turned to Edgar and saw he had a few tears running down his cheeks. He didn't say anything but handed the second rose in his hand to Edgar for safe keeping. Edgar took it and waited. Then Sig knelt down, placing his rose against his mother's name and saying a silent prayer for her guidance and constant love and told her how much he missed her. He kept it short because he didn't want to make his youngest brother wait too long. When he stood and backed up, he bumped into someone that was much stockier and slightly taller that Edgar. He froze, not wanting to move or say a word.

Sig watched their middle brother walk around him, wordlessly take the second rose out of Edgar's hand and kneel at his mother's gave. Norm placed his rose next to Sig's and run his hand along the engraving of her name. Sig and Edgar turned and looked at each other in semi-shock but stayed silent. Norm didn't stay but a few seconds and then stood back up next to his oldest brother. Sig wanted to hold his hand or put his arm around Norm's shoulder but he didn't know how Norm would react to either so he just drifted closer to him.

Both of them watched in silence as Edgar knelt in front of the stone and placed the third and final white rose next to the others. The three roses looked beautiful against the pink marble. Edgar silently shared with his mom that he was ok, he had brothers, the real kind, looking out for him and that he wasn't alone anymore. He also told her how much he missed her and that he loved her always. Finally, he brushed a few tears off his cheek and stood, walking over to his older brothers to stand next to them.

The three of them waited a few minutes and then walked quietly back to the car together. When they got to the car, Sig was the first one to speak.

Sig turned to Norm and ask, "You want to drive?" holding up the keys and dangling them in the air.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me? This sorry excuse for a vehicle. Get a God damn truck like a real man and then we'll talk," Norm responded passionately.

Sig got in the driver's seat, mumbling something like, "Don't say I never offered."

"No one has ever offered me a steaming pile of shit but I'd feel the same about either offer," Norm explained as he got in on the other side.

Sig couldn't help but notice that Edgar was sitting in the backseat already, reading and ignoring both of them. He shifted around a little bit on the ride home but stayed seated. Sig took it as a good sign.


When they got back home, they unpacked the groceries and Edgar started dinner. It had already been decided that he would be making dinner, with guidance from his oldest brother. Norm returned to war in the garage, deciding that he was now on the winning side. Sig made a quick lunch for all three of them while watching over Edgar peeling potatoes and carrots, along with browning the roast. Edgar ate his sandwich while getting everything for dinner in a giant pot that would go into the oven for several hours. Sig took a sandwich out to Norman who grumbled a thank you and gobbled down the offering. When Sig came back into the kitchen, the pot roast was in the oven but Edgar was gone.

Sig noticed the laundry had been folded and taken upstairs. Sig decided to clean around the house a little but realized it didn't really need it. No one was ever home so there wasn't much to get messed up. He did run the vacuum and wash the windows in the front door but that was about it. Sig then made another pot of coffee and ate lunch by himself. While he was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and eating, he heard a sound that he had not heard for a very long time. The sound was coming from upstairs.

It was music coming from a guitar. Sig couldn't make out the song but it was something slow, like a love song. He closed his eyes and just listened for the longest time. Edgar had talent on this particular instrument but it was evident that he had not played in a long time. Sig didn't care. He thought it was the great thing he'd ever heard. Norman even wandered into the kitchen and listened for awhile.

"Never thought I would miss that," Norm said before going back to the garage.

"Wait," Sig commanded.

Norm stopped and looked at his brother.

Sig turned and asked Norman, "What do you think about taking Edgar to work with you tomorrow? Do you think the hardware store would be bothered by him being there?"

Norm thought about and then shrugged. "I can find things for him to do that will keep him out of trouble. Kid could stand to learn some things. I don't think the boss would mind, he's never there anyway."

"Good, cause I don't want to leave him in the house by himself all summer and he's too young to get a job," Sig said, explaining his concerns.

"Well, now he's free labor," Norm said as he went back to his project.


Evening approached and the pot roast had radiated a lovely smell throughout the house. The two younger brothers came from their respective places, Norm from the garage, Edgar from his room and they prepared to have dinner. Norm washed up in the sink and Edgar readied the table, pulling the pot roast from the oven. Sig was no where to be found.

Finally, the back door opened, revealing their oldest brother. He reeked of cigarette smoke and Norman quickly pointed it out.

"How many cigarettes did you have out there?" Norm asked, a disgusted look on his face.

"Too many," was the only answer.

"What's wrong?" Edgar asked quietly, thinking he already knew the answer.

"Nothing, kid. Don't worry about it," Sig replied, sitting down at the kitchen table to have dinner. Sig stopped himself and looked up at his littlest brother. Edgar also sat down, across from his brother, and started eating dinner. Wordlessly and with some regret, he slipped the class ring that had been on his finger most of the day and slid it across the table to his oldest brother. Sig took it with a smile and placed it back in its rightful place.

Norm sat as well and the three of them enjoyed a blissful meal. When they had almost finished eating, Norm asked the question most on everyone's mind. He turned towards his oldest brother and asked point blank, "So…what are you going to say when dad calls?"

Sig looked down at the table and answered honestly, "The truth."

"All of it?" Norm pressed.

"Yes, all of it," Sig replied, glancing over at Edgar who sat froze in place, his last forkful of food in midair.

Sig watched his youngest brother start to shake slightly and he watched the tears form in his eyes. Sig explained softly and as best he could, "Edgar, I'm not going to punish you for lying and then turn around the next day and lie to our father. Please don't worry…"

Edgar quickly pushed himself away from the table and ran out the back door, leaving it open so that his two brothers could see him sitting on the porch steps, arms folded in front of him, head buried in the nook of his elbow. They could see he was crying from the way his shoulders were heaving.

Norm stood up and announced to Sig, "I'll get the dishes, you get the kid."

Sig sighed and walked out onto the porch. He sat down next to his little brother and rubbed his back gently. He tried to explain, "I'm going to tell him the truth but you are not getting in trouble for the same thing twice, I promise. It's the only time I would stand against our father if he tried to do something like that, which I know he won't, so please don't worry about it. I won't let him spank you again, I promise."

"I'm not worried about that, even if he did," Edgar sobbed, "It's just...he's going to be so...disappointed in me, Sig"

Sig didn't lie, "Yes, for a little while, but he'll get over it. He loves you. He's just not good at saying it. Stop worrying, believe me, I am much more worried about myself at this point."

Edgar finally looked over at his brother and saw the fear in his eyes.

Sig continued, "I'm telling dad everything and I don't know how he is going to react. When he put me in charge, I don't think it meant it was ok to do what I did. Edgar, I'm still not even ok with what I did," Sig started to cry and Edgar stood up and hugged his brother tightly.

"It's over, remember?" Edgar whispered in his ear.

Sig hugged him tightly back and wished that were true but it wasn't. It wasn't over until he told his father the truth.

Sig stood up, keeping his brother in the hug and carrying him back into the kitchen. He walked with him into the living room and turned on the TV. The two of them watched television for awhile and eventually Norman joined them. Edgar was especially clingy, practically sitting on top of his oldest brother on the sofa. Edgar was getting worried that Sig was in some kind of big trouble and he couldn't help but blame himself somehow. Damn that knot and this awful situation. Edgar did take note that the knot and the pain with it had completely left.


When the phone finally rang at exactly 8:00 pm, all three boys jumped up simultaneously. Sig ran to the kitchen, Norm to the steps and Edgar up to the upstairs hallway. All three picked up the phones at the same time but there was only one person going to be speaking for the three of them, their eldest brother was about to do all the talking.

"Hello," Sig said into the phone.

"Hey, son," Sverre Hansen responded in a thick Norwegian accent. "How are things at home?" Their father could hear two other people breathing softly in the background and he knew that he had all three of his sons on the line, he just wasn't about to share that information.

Sig went on a little about how he had managed the household things since his father was away. He asked his dad what time the boat was leaving and where he was planning on fishing and other boat related items.

Finally Sverre asked about Norman.

"He's fine," Sig replied, "Working a lot."

"And Edgar?" Sverre asked.

Sig swallowed and started knotting up the long phone cord that hung from the kitchen wall.

"Edgar got himself in a little trouble but he's ok," Sig replied as casually as he could.

Sverre was a very smart man and could tell there was a lot more to this "little trouble" and questioned his oldest son. "What kind of trouble, Sigurd?"

Shit, he's already using my full name, not a good sign. The truth, Sig. Sig cleared his throat and tried to explain the best he could but being honest at the same time.

"Well," Sig started, "Edgar broke his curfew, ran away, got drunk and wrecked his bike…but he's fine now. He didn't get hurt in the accident."

Sverre heard a little gasp that did not come from his eldest son.

"I'll come home. There's a flight leaving in the morning. I can put off this trip for a few weeks," Sverre said and was completely ready to jump on the morning flight.

"No dad, please, you have to stay. I handled things," Sig said, trying to reassure his father.

Sverre became angry and quickly informed his son, "Sigurd, what your brother did was very wrong. He could have been killed. This is not something that gets put on the list in pencil only to be erased before I get back."

All three boys froze in place. A pin dropping on the floor could have been heard from down the street.

Sig found his voice and asked incredulously, "You knew…all this time…you knew about that?"

Sverre had to laugh. "Of course I knew. I could never find a pencil in the house with an eraser. I started buying your mother those yellow erasers that go over the back of the pencils. She was a good woman with the heart of an angel but she let you boys get away with almost anything."

Sverre listened to the silence on the phone. He went on, like someone was pushing the words out of his mouth, "You know, I would pray every time I got home that she would have erased the whole damn list."

Sverre could hear someone start crying softly in the background, not sure which one of his sons it was.

Sig responded softly, "She erased a lot over the years, dad."

"I know but your brother's actions wouldn't have been one of those times," Sverre said sternly.

Sig swallowed again, "I know, dad. I handled it the best I could." Sig felt the tears in his eyes but didn't let it show in his voice.

Sverre became very worry. "What exactly do you mean, son? How did you handle things?"

Sig stood up straight, almost like his father was right in front of him instead of on the phone and he told his father the truth, well, sort of. "I…gave him…a lickin'." He then added softly, "I'm sorry, sir. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but...that's what I did."

Sverre was shocked that Sig would do such a thing but he almost kicked himself for the shock. He himself had set that tone in the house. He had always been stern with his boys but he never expected something like this.

"Sig, I need you to tell me the truth now." Sverre said gently.

"Yes, sir," was all Sig could get out.

"Did you hurt your brother, I mean really hurt him?" Sverre questioned softly.

"No sir, he was hurting some today but he's fine. Nothing permanent. I was very careful, as careful as I could be," Sig replied honestly.

"Did your brother cry?" Sverre asked his next question.

Sig hadn't expect that question and wasn't sure how to answer it. He didn't want to make his little brother look bad in his father's eyes and he hesitated.

"Sig, just tell me the truth. Did he cry, yes or no?" Sverre pressed on.

"Yes, sir, he cried and…I hugged him afterwards and told him he was forgiven and that I love him," Sig thought, well kid, if your going down, I'm going with you.

Sverre breathed a sigh of relief. His son managed to handle this whole situation better than he would have himself.

"Did you cry?" Sverre asked his next question.

Sig wasn't ashamed in the least and answered honestly, "Yes, sir. Almost the whole time and a lot after."

"Me, too, each and every time I did that to you boys," Sverre answered just as honest. Again, the house and all its occupants froze. Their father never cried once during any of the strapping they got over the years. Then their father added, "Why do you think I always left the kitchen so quickly. I couldn't get out of there fast enought because I cried my eyes out EVERY SINGLE TIME."

Sig lost it, slipped to the kitchen floor like an actress in the bad movie and sobbed on the phone, not caring that his entire family was hearing him. It didn't matter much since the rest of his family was crying right along with him. It was the moment Sig would never forget.

"DAD…" was all Sig could get out after awhile.

"I know, kid. I know why you did what you did. Because I set the tone for it. But I should have handled the discipline differently. I should have talked to you about things and been there for you when it was over. I just don't know how. I was wrong all these years to handling things like I did. I just love you and I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't go on living if something happened to any of you," Sverre was crying, too but he added, "Things will be different when I get back. I may need you to help me…pack away some of your mother's things."

Sig nodded like his dad was right in front of him but managed a strangled, "Yes, sir…I love you, too."

Sverre was pressed for time and wanted to talk to his son's about a lot of things but he had to go. "I'll be back at the end of the summer. You did ok, Sig. I trust that you have things under control. It wasn't an easy thing to do but I am proud of you and I know your brothers will be safe in your care. I'll call when I can."

"Be safe, good fishing," Sig added, remembering that his father was about to embark on a dangerous job.

The three of them heard then click on the other end of the line but not before they heard a very soft "Love you all" in a deep, thick Norwegian accent.

END PART 1