The Daily Agony of Love
[Series 4 Christmas Special] Chapter 12:New Life
Based upon Call the Midwife, written by Jennifer Worth, developed by Heidi Thomas.
Author's Sidebar: I had never planned on writing this chapter. It was kind of just floating around in my head, so I put it down for you all. Then it turned into two chapters. Enjoy!
- - Turner Residence, December 25, 1959, just past midnight - -
They had strategically avoided each other since they got home. She didn't think it had been a conscious decision, by either of them, but none-the-less.
She had left Angela with him when she visited the WC, and by the time she had returned, Patrick had changed into pajamas and was wearing his housecoat. He was moving back and forth across the room with Angela in his arms. She was fussing and he was trying to calm her. Patrick smiled up at her.
"I think she's just tired. She's had a big day."
Shelagh smiled. "We all have."
They stared at each other for a moment, simultaneously sheepish and giddy.
"I'll go check on Timothy, make sure he's tucked-up in bed," Patrick said. He moved somewhat suddenly and performed a gentle handoff of the baby to Shelagh.
She took the opportunity to put on her nightgown before picking Angela back up. She turned towards the bed, it suddenly looked very large. Very large, yet very small for two people. Shelagh wondered which side was Patrick's. She surveyed the bedside tables. They both had lamps. The one closer to the door also contained two copies of The Lancet, a novel, and a clock. The other contained a bible. Shelagh smiled, Patrick was nothing if not considerate.
So, she sat on her side of the bed and tucked her legs beneath her. Shelagh undid several buttons on her nightgown and settled Angela to her breast, where she helped herself. She started out a little desperate, clearly distressed by all the activity and the late hour, but calmed quickly. Perhaps it was the milk, perhaps it was the warmth of her skin or the beat of her heart, but Angela was soon calm and content. One small hand pressed up against her little neck, the other splayed wide against Shelagh's breast.
Shelagh traced her finger over Angela's fingers, one at a time.
She was lost in admiring her daughter when there was a light knock on the door. It was followed by a pause. Then the door opened slowly, and Patrick stepped inside.
"Patrick, you don't have to knock on your own door," she told him.
He shrugged. "I didn't want to startle you." He shucked his housecoat and settled next to her. "Timothy is in bed with strict orders not to get up until after seven." He pulled the quilt up to his chest and folded his hands across his chest, and closed his eyes.
She glanced at him. "Patrick," she said softly.
He made a sound, indicating her heard her, but didn't open his eyes.
"You don't have to close your eyes. I know you want to see."
He cracked one eye open and looked up at her. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Shelagh glanced at him, but turned her gaze to Angela. She was too embarrassed to make her next statement while looking at him. "You've made me uncomfortable for some time, Patrick, but not an entirely bad sort of discomfort."
When she glanced back down at him, he had opened both his eyes and was smiling softly at her. She couldn't help but smile back. He reached out, took her hand, and brought it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles twice before releasing her hand and folding his across his chest again.
Shelagh shifted Angela to the other breast and leaned back against the headboard. She could feel Angela's strength waning as she fell asleep, so Shelagh took the opportunity to pray. She thanked God for another year, even though it had been more than a little tumultuous. She thanked Him for her Sisters, for Patrick, for Timothy, and for Angela. She prayed for those less fortunate, and that her children would grow strong. And she prayed for her marriage.
Angela had fallen asleep.
Shelagh shifted the baby against her and adjusted her nightgown. She looked down at Patrick, a hopeful expression on her face. It quickly turned into a frown when she realized he was asleep. She had been hoping they would make love. Shelagh considered waking him, but there was a peaceful smile on his face and she couldn't bear the thought of it.
She sighed to herself gently got out of bed, settling Angela into her cot. She kissed the girl's forehead and returned to bed. She cuddled down into the quilt and turned to face Patrick. She studied him for just a moment before putting her hand over his and closing her eyes. They weren't entirely comfortable with each other yet, and their marriage had yet to be consummated, but at least they had made a start.
- - Nonnatus House, December 25, 1959, well past midnight - -
Sister Julienne couldn't sleep. They had all come back to Nonnatus House after the Christmas Vigil Mass and wedding. Mass had been pleasant and the wedding had been lovely.
She was so happy.
Yet, there was a sadness that hung over her now. A quiet permeated the House.
Nonnatus House had always been a quiet place, especially during The Great Silence. It was part of the character of the building. Yet, the last month had brought new life to the hours of the night. And now that it was gone, the House felt empty.
Unable to sleep and unable to quiet her mind, Sister Julienne got out of bed and donned her house coat with the intention of going to the chapel. However, she paused in the hallway. The door to Shelagh's room was open. Of course, it was no longer Shelagh's room, but that's how she would think of it until long after it had a new occupant.
Sister Julienne stood in the doorway to see Sister Monica Joan standing in the room. She wore her nightgown and her hair was uncovered. But she didn't look bewildered.
"There is a silence without our Sister and her child," Sister Monica Joan said. She turned to look at the corner where the bassinet had been kept. "They left a void in their departure. A void in this House. A void in my soul."
Sister Julienne sat on the edge of the bed. "They have filled a void elsewhere; one much larger than the one that they have left behind."
Sister Monica Joan joined her. "Odd how she was with us for such a short time, but had become such a part of us."
"We, better than many, understand the importance of a child. Birth brings life to more than just a child."
- - End Chapter 12 - -
