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To Lizzy: Ah okay, I thought that it was you. xD Guess there are two Lizzy's then. :p Anyway, thanks!

New chapter, have fun!


Alice Explains

Alice was right, we needed to have a talk. She was my friend, and she hadn't even left me a note when she had moved away with the rest of her family.

'You've got that right, we do need to talk. Why didn't you write me? Call me? Anything! You're supposed to be my friend.' I ranted, pacing around in my room.

'Please relax for a minute, Bella. I didn't want to leave, and I missed you like crazy, but Edward wanted a clean break.' She defended herself.

'Don't bring Edward into this! I don't want to talk about him.' I warned her, glaring unimpressively. Of course, intimidating a vampire was a tough job to begin with.

'Well that's too bad, Bella, because I am here to talk about Edward.' Alice didn't give up. She was suddenly standing in front of me, gently grabbing both of my wrists, so I had no choice but to stop my nervous pacing and look at her.

'Please don't, it hurts to talk about him.' I confessed, not looking her in the eye. 'I wish I had never remembered him.'

'You know you don't really mean that.' Alice said confidently.

'Maybe, but seriously Alice, what's there to talk about? Edward doesn't want me, he changed his mind, too bad. Shit happens, I can't make him feel something he doesn't feel.'

'If Edward truly doesn't want you anymore, then why do you think he came back?' Alice challenged me.

That threw me off for a second, the pixie had a point. Sensing that I had calmed down, she released my wrists and sat down on my bed, patting the space next to her. I sat down, too, and she put her arm around my shoulder.

'Fine… so what's the story.' I asked, slightly curious about the brilliant explanation that Alice would use to defend her brother's behavior.

'Let's start with the things you are remembering on your own.' Alice suggested. 'What do you remember about the birthday party at our place?'

I had to think about that for a second… All the Cullens were there, everything had been nicely decorated, there had been a cake and presents… Presents… I had sliced my finger… paper cut. And then…

'Jasper.' I gasped.

Alice nodded with an apologetic look on her face. 'Yes, Jasper smelled your blood and he attacked you. What is the last thing you remember from that night?'

'I remember Edward… fighting Jasper off… and after that… I don't remember anything.' I mumbled.

'You fell backwards, into a table, and hit your head pretty hard.' Alice filled me in.

'And lost my memory…' I whispered.

'Yes… Edward wanted to leave, he felt like he was putting you in constant danger, because of what we are. He loves you so much, he wanted you to have a normal, happy human life. He left you because he thought he was protecting you, Bella.'

'Protecting me!? And I didn't have a say in the matter?' I blurted out.

Alice sighed. 'Edward thought it was better this way. You wouldn't remember anything, and he hoped that by the time that you would remember him, you were over him.'

'Wait… how did he know that I wouldn't remember anything? I was still in a coma when all of you left!'

'Hmm, I guess there is something about me that you haven't remembered yet.' Alice said, pausing for a moment, giving me some time to think.

'Right… you see the future, you already knew.' I muttered as I recalled this little talent of Alice.

'Yes, so I already knew, and Edward used that information to develop his big plan, in order to keep you safe.' Alice rolled her eyes. 'Of course there was a huge flaw in his plan, you see, he can't live without you, Bella.'

'And I can't live without him…' I admitted. 'But why did he come back, why now?'

Alice seemed to be deep in thought for a moment. 'Hmm, I think that maybe he would have stayed away, if you had moved on with your life, if you were living the happy life that he wanted for you. He didn't do anything besides moping around the house, he was struggling to make it through a day, but he would have continued to do so for eternity if he knew that you were better off. For a while he did believe that you were doing fine, until I got that vision three days ago, the one of you sitting on our porch steps, looking like hell… When he saw that… I guess that he finally had solid prove that you are not better off without him, and certainly not happier.'

I rolled my eyes. 'So much for his brilliant plan, to be honest, I don't think it worked out for either of us.'

'Agreed, and I for one, believe that you two aren't meant to stay away from each other. I know that your relationship has some complications, but which relationship doesn't have those?' She said dismissively.

'Maybe… so what does he plan on doing now?' I asked.

'I'm afraid that you'll have to sort out the rest with him.' Alice said apologetically. 'I only came over to talk some sense into you.'

'That's a nice way of putting it.' I grumbled.

She snorted. 'I just wanted you to give him a chance to talk to you. After that, you're free to decide whether you still want him around or not.'

'Fine, I'll talk to him, but not today, alright, I've had enough for one day. I'll see him tomorrow.' I offered.

She smiled. 'Good! I'll tell him. But I should go now, it's late, you need some sleep.'

'Yes… wait, you're not… leaving Forks again, are you?' I asked, slightly panicked.

'No, for now, I'll stay around.' She assured me, hugging me one last time and heading for the door. 'Goodnight, Bella.'

'Thanks, bye Alice.' I murmured in a low voice, but I knew that she could hear me, vampires had excellent hearing.

I got up from the bed as soon as I heard the front door slam downstairs, and pressed the play button on the CD player. I immediately skipped to my favorite tune, and it didn't hurt so much to listen to it now. Maybe because of what Alice had told me, Edward just wanted me to be safe. It could be true, Edward was such a selfless person, if leaving was what he had to do to protect me, he would do it without a second thought. This wacky clean-break thing certainly sounded like him. A small part of me was still mad at him, for leaving without a word, but no matter what, I still loved him.

That night, I had some trouble sleeping. I was feeling restless and I tossed and turned. It was almost as if my whole body was sensing that he was close again. I felt some regret about telling Alice that I would talk to him tomorrow, I already missed him so much.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep, since my alarm startled me awake around seven am. I got up, and I felt that I had a massive headache, probably a product of too much stress. I went through my morning routine before driving to school and attending my classes.

Already everything seemed different. Even though I hadn't smoothed things out with Edward yet, I didn't feel so empty anymore. I joined the conversation that my fellow students were having during lunch break, and I didn't feel so bitter towards my friends anymore. When I sat down at my desk in Biology, I didn't try to turn out my thoughts and emotions like I usually did. Instead I thought about our first conversation ever, which had taken place right here.

I remembered when our hands had touched for the first time, it had felt like an electric current flowing through me. I remembered telling him my whole life story, even though I barely knew him. I never opened up to people that easily, but with him it had been easy as breathing.

Perhaps Alice was right; it was as if we had never really had a choice. We were meant to be together, even though the odds were often against us.

Around four I came home, and butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach, anticipating Edward's visit. I had no idea at what time he would be here, so I decided to do some homework as I waited for him. Concentrating had never been so hard, and my mind quickly wandered off to several other problems that were coming my way. Problems like Charlie, he had made it pretty clear that he wasn't too happy about Edward's actions. I even doubted if my dad would let him inside of the house again.

It was around five and Edward still hadn't showed up, so I went downstairs to make some dinner for me and Charlie. I decided to put some extra effort into it, hoping that it would lighten his mood, as a precaution for when Edward came around.

Charlie did seem pleasantly surprised when he came home and noticed that I was making some recipe that grandma Swan had invented a long time ago, my plan was obviously working. He didn't bring up the subject of the Cullens again, and I was grateful for that.

After I'd done the dishes I went upstairs to finish the last part of my English homework, and when I was done I stared mindlessly out of my window, into the endless rain. I now knew how the emptiness was connected to this window, Edward had often used it to visit me. Oh how I wished that I would soon have a reason to open that window on a daily basis again…


That's it for today! New update tomorrow. :D