Welcome back to ~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~ (insert catchy jingle here)!

Apologies, but Magnus Chase came out last week (I seriously need to follow my schedules).

It was FANTASTIC! I might have to include some stuff from there in here now.

Thanks to daichi95.

NOTE: I had to look for an actual map for this. I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or Ikea.

I'm assuming you all have been to Ikea, so I won't detail as much.


A Trip to Ikea


Another quest this time.

Jason, Leo and Piper were wandering aimlessly in New York City all because Rachel decided to walk into the Big House.

They didn't even know what they were doing! The only thing they could follow was a prophecy that made no sense.

It all started like this…

Leo and Jason were having a game of chess while Piper was doing a crossword puzzle.

The occasional argument would pop up, but apart from that, it was peaceful.

A knock was came from the door along with a "Hello?"

"Come in!" Piper shouted.

The door opened and Rachel walked in.

Leo waved while studying the table. "Hey Rachel, what's up?"

Immediately, Rachel stilled. The door closed shut and her eyes turned green. Her mouth opened and green mist spilled out. Jason rushed and grabbed a chair for the mortal to sit on.

The three demigods stood in front of Rachel as the mist formed shapes.

"Structure of wood, structure of stone,

Child of love shall drastically moan,

Go to the place effects are made,

Daughter of Zeus trapped in wake

Destined to learn instructional hate."

The mist re-entered Rachel's mouth and she passed out.

As Jason and Leo placed the Oracle on the couch, Piper moaned. "Guys, quest time."

So here they were now, in the Big Apple. No map, no directions, and no sanity. It was getting boring.

Seriously, why on earth did Rachel even do that? There wasn't even the need for a quest! If they ever get out of this mess, Piper will give Rachel a piece of her mind. She was so mad she couldn't even think of a punishment. She was so mad she didn't notice the person she ran into.

"Hey, watch it!" The other person yelled.

Piper rubbed her head, "I'm sorry-" Her eyes widened in surprise. "Percy?"

Percy looked up and smiled. "Oh hey, Piper."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, we just visited my mom and now we're headed back to camp." He gestured to Annabeth, Will, Nico, Frank, Hazel, Calypso and Reyna who all waved and went back to whatever argument they were doing. "What about you?" he asked.

Piper sighed. "We're on a quest," Jason answered for her.

Percy blanched. "What? Again? Annabeth!" He called out to the daughter of Athena.

"Percy, what is it?"Annabeth questioned.

"They have a quest." He pointed to the trio.

"Prophecy." Annabeth demanded. The daughter quickly snatched away the piece of paper with the prophecy as Leo took it out.

As her eyes scanned the lines, her face went several shades lighter. Percy glanced over her shoulder and gulped. The two looked at each other and had what seemed like a mental argument.

After a few minutes, the other demigods gathered. Hazel skimmed the prophecy and passed it to the others. At the same time, Annabeth and Percy seemed to have ended their argument.

Annabeth sighed. "Come, we know exactly where you need to go."


One Awkward Cab Ride Later…


"Ikea? You brought us to Ikea?!" Piper wailed as the others slowly climbed out of their small cab convoy. "How the Hades is this supposed to relate to the prophecy?"

"Stop profanifying my father!" Nico interrupted.

Annabeth gestured to the paper, ignoring the son of Hades' protests. "Structure of wood," she pointed to the various wooden supports dotted around within the large blue building. "Structure of stone," she tapped her foot on the stone-cold floor. "The place where effects are made. Piper, 'effects' can be a synonym to furniture."

"But, what about Thalia and instructional hate?" Leo pointed out.

Annabeth shrugged. "I have no idea. I guess we'll just have to find out." She ended with that and entered the store.

The front entrance was a long room that sort of looked like a warehouse-style hotel. In the center was a circular concierge desk with four people seated within. The wall to the right had three doors and several phone booths. The opposite one had an escalator that led to the showrooms and a set of double glass doors which opened to a brightly colored room. A small gap in the far right corner of the room showed some of the showrooms.

Annabeth went to the concierge while Calypso decided to talk to Leo before he could turn something into a weapon of mass deduction.

"Leo," the Titaness cleared her throat.

"Yes, sunshine?" He grinned.

"You go into that bright and sunny place while we get the boring stuff." Calypso pointed to the glass doors beside the escalator.

"Okay!" He hugged her, not without a chaste kiss, and pranced into the room.

Reyna watched the exchange with bemusement. "You just sent him into the daycare…" She stated.

"What's wrong?" Calypso chirped.

"It's for five year olds."

Calypso's eyes widened in realization and ran after Leo. "I forgot! An adult has to be with them when they're dropped off!" She called back to Reyna.

"..."


The group went up the escalator and entered the living room room. Different styles of couches, coffee tables, ottomans and chairs made the room look like FurnitureCon.

Immediately, they found Thalia lying down on a black couch.

"Thalia!" Jason cried out. The son of Jupiter held out his arms as his sister gratefully accepted his embrace.

"Jason!" She cried out into his shoulder. Her teary eyes widened when she saw the rest of the group. "Guys, what're you doing here?"

Piper smiled. "We came to look for you, I think. We got a prophecy saying you're trapped somewhere."

Thalia frowned. "You're right." She paused for a moment. "We are trapped."

"In Ikea?" Calypso deadpanned.

The daughter of Zeus grabbed the Titaness' shoulders. "This is no laughing matter, Calypso. I have been trapped in here for days. Here I was, doing errands for Lady Artemis when I find out I have to go here. Only, I haven't been able to get out."

Calypso pried Thalia's hands of off her and pointed. "There's a map."

"They ran out of maps," Thalia muttered. "I tried to go back to the information booth but they told me to go to the exit. But, I can't even find it. Just when you think you find the right way, you go through a shortcut and go back to where you started." She hugged Annabeth. "Please, help me. Please!" She sobbed into the daughter of Athena's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Thals," Annabeth whispered soothingly. "We'll get you out." The two started moving into the next room while the others followed.

Frank turned around to see Hazel staring at the couch Thalia was on. "Hazel?"

No answer.

"Hazel!" Frank shook her shoulder.

The daughter of Pluto flinched and blushed when she saw Frank directly behind her. "Sorry Frank, I just zoned out a bit."

He wrapped an arm around her and walked towards where the others were. "It's okay, you've never been in one of these before."

Hazel kept her eyes on the couch. "It's just that, they're so fascinating."

That worried Frank. Hazel never focused so much on a couch that, in fairness, was actually quite nice looking, especially with the coffee table in front of it. And those footrests. Gods, Frank has never seen such nice furniture before.

Wait. What?


They passed the 'Living Room Storage' area (filled with boxes and organizers) into Dining which, like the previous two rooms, had items befitting to that specific area. The only thing of notice where the three open doorways, a stand that looked like it was supposed to hold something and some very modern-looking silverware that would go great with Annabeth's designs. Not that she noticed that last part. Definitely not. Not even the way the differing colors of placemats somehow manage to highlight the food on the plate. Or how the lighting accents the plates themselves. Definitely not.

"Split up?" Percy suggested. "I mean, it's not like we're going to get lost. All of these rooms eventually lead to the exit."

"Okay," Annabeth agreed. "Nico, Frank, Hazel and Will. You guys go through the middle one. Jason, Piper, Calypso, Thalia. You guys go right, and Percy, Reyna and I will go left."

Everyone nodded and separated.

Jason supported Thalia as the four went through the small shortcut into the kitchen area. They headed right again into another room, what filled to the brim with what looked like childish decorations. Dog tail coat hangers, multicolored tables and chairs, stuffed animals and more.

Thalia perked when she saw the descending set of stairs down the room. "Freedom. FREEDOM!" She screamed as she ran down the room and practically lept down the diagonal corridor.

"Thalia!" Jason called out. When there was no response, he sighed. "Guys, come on," he uttered as he gave chase to his sister.

Piper and Leo had no choice but to follow.


"Are you sure this is the right way?"

"Positive."

"Then how come this is the third time we've entered this room?" Hazel argued with her brother as they somehow got lost.

When they entered the middle room, which had office supplies, they decided to go right which led to the kitchens. Then, they headed right again which resulted in them going back to the original room they were in. Nico then thought it was a good idea to go back to the middle room and go left instead, which lead them to going back to the dining area.

The good thing was that Hazel seemed to get out of her trance after seeing row after row after row of toilets. The bad news though...

"Nico look at those dinner trays. They would go perfect with your cabin's walls." Will whispered. He seemed to be utterly mesmerised by the wooden rectangles.

"Not now Will, we need to decide which way we're gonna go." Nico waved the son of Apollo off as he stared at the same item, thinking 'They do go with my cabin's walls.'

Meanwhile, Frank had an idea. "Guys, there was another doorway in the kitchen area. Why don't we go down there?"

Hazel smiled. "You're a genius, Frank. Come on, guys."

The two snapped out of their trance and followed the Romans into the kitchen past the children's area and into the corridor with the staircase. Just before they reached the stairs, Will spotted another doorway to somewhere.

"Oh what's this?" Will inquired and took a curious step through the opening.

Nico turned just in time to see the son of Apollo step out and with a terrified scream was pushed towards him. The two crashed on the opposite wall, and two more thuds hit Nico before everything stopped. Rubbing his head, Nico looked to see the door they previously went through close and clicked, signalling the door locked.

Nico sighed. It turns out the room they were currently in was right next to the entrance. Well, if at first you don't succeed…

Hazel shook her head. "This place is worse than the Labyrinth, at least you have a way of escaping there."


Ten Minutes Later…


Following Annabeth's suggestion of "stick to the left wall" they managed to safely go through all of the rooms only once and now were back on the first floor in the self serve area.

Only…Annabeth and Reyna seemed to have taken a liking to the DIY furniture. They managed to grab a cart and load all with tables, couches, chairs, even bed frames.

Percy wasn't doing better. He was grabbing everything blue.

At the same time, Thalia bumped into Annabeth and Reyna as they were sorting through the boxes.

"Thalia!" Annabeth shrieked in surprise. "I just organized that!"

"Sorry!"

"Hey guys," Jason greeted as Calypso waved. Percy and Reyna both blinked in confusion then immediately remembered why they were there in the first place.

"Thank the gods we got out of there," Hazel cried out in joy as she and Frank dragged Nico and Will out of the previous room.

Annabeth took a head count and nodded. "We all seem to be here, except for Leo. Why don't we pay and have some lunch in the cafeteria?"

Everyone agreed and grabbed the various items they managed to pick up.

They reached the checkout counters and after several very long queues and arguments with the cashier about the pricings, payed for all of their furniture.

They went into an elevator that led to the cafeteria to find Leo already eating ahead of them. Their heir stomachs grumbled at the sight of internationally available food dotted around the large atrium. Leo grinned at the sound of their digestive organs. "Come on guys! Their food is actually delicious!"

Calypso, with a twitching eye, screamed "WHY ARE THERE MORE LINES?" as she saw that the booths, vending machines, even the drinking fountains all had lines. Come to think of it, even the deli downstairs wasn't enough. A lot of people go to Ikea, huh?

Piper grinned maniacally. "Don't worry guys, I have a way of convincing people to be faster."

Calypso gulped. What has she done? But, she shrugged it off. Eh

Soon, everyone managed to grab something and were now enjoying themselves.

Frank couldn't help but think, though. What could possibly have made Hazel and the others go into a furniture-induced trance?

Thalia also couldn't help but think. How could she not see the exit?

Annabeth's eye twitched. She decided to take a look at some of the instructions and they made absolutely no sense!

Ikea has great furniture, but weird instructions…


I actually enjoy myself in Ikea, to be honest.

Anyway!

Headcannons are:

Leo goes to daycare

You can get into a furniture trance at Ikea

Ikea is worse that the Labyrinth

Placemats go great with tables

Again, sorry for the constant delays.

See you next time on ~THE RANDOMNESS OF OLYMPUS~ (insert catchy jingle here).


"Hello Commander…"


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