The Apprehensive and The Optimistic

Chapter 12

AN:: I MISSED YOU! Enjoy the update you deserve. And thanks to those who reviewed! You really make me feel awesome :) I'll have an important note at the end of the chapter, but for now, enjoy the over due'd chapter 12.

all mistakez R mine, yo!


Ian and Anthony sat in a corner booth by the windows. Anthony had never been here, but Ian promised that their breakfast menu was to die for. Apparently he and Josh all but lived here when They had sleep overs. They went every morning after. Anthony was a picky eater, but he decided to give it a try. And since pizza wasn't really a technical breakfast food, he's settle for whatever They served here.

A few minutes after They sat, a woman approached them, menus and coffee pot in her hands, "Hey Ian!" She smiled, setting a menu in front of Anthony, "You want some coffee?" She asked Anthony. At his nod, She filled his mug, then looked at Ian, "Usual?" She had short blonde hair, and a button up white shirt, though there were two buttons that were undone at the top.

Ian nodded, "Hannah, this is Anthony. Anthony, my friend Hannah."

She looked at him and grinned, "Howdy. I'll get the tea, Ian." And she walked away.

Anthony looked at Ian, then grabbed a few containers of half an half and a few pouches of sugar, "Friend from school?"

Ian nodded, watching him fix his coffee, "Yeah, she's in home school now though, which sucks. She's pretty sweet though."

Anthony nodded, and opened his menu. After a few minutes of deciding what to get, Hannah came back, took their orders and was gone again. Anthony sipped his coffee, and sighed, "You still want me coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, if you're up for it." Ian said, staring into his tea.

Anthony chewed on the inside of his cheek. Ian wasn't saying anything, he still looked a little shaken the previous night, or past few days. Anthony wasn't sure if he should have brought it up, or if he should have talked about something else. Anthony awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, and looked out the window. It wasn't much of a view, but people passed by and so did time. Soon their plates were set in front of them, Ian joked with Hannah, acting completely normal, radiating with that glow. Then when she was gone it dimmed, and Anthony couldn't help himself, "How do you do that?"

Ian blinked, fork in hand, "Do what?"

"Well, I dunno, hide your feelings so well." Ian looked shocked, and Anthony grabbed his own fork, "Before she walked up you were moping, and when she was here you were just...regular Ian."

Ian blinked, and looked at his food, "Well...If you can tell I'm upset, obviously it isn't working anymore." He stabbed his eggs, "I just don't want people worrying over stupid stuff."

"Stupid stuff? It's cool to worry, dude, sometimes you need people at ask what's wrong, y'know?"

"I guess, I don't like it though. Just.. lets change the subject." Ian shrugged and took a bite of food.

Anthony took a bit of his own food, and said after he swallowed, "Is it David you're still upset about?"

"Well, of course, a few other things too. Just...nothing to-"

"-worry about? When are you gonna tell everyone else? They're worried, and you can't keep them in the dark."

Ian frowned at Anthony, "They'll find out one way or another. It was hard enough telling you and Josh."

Anthony sighed, and took a drink of his coffee, "Maybe, but I think you can do it." Ian sighed loudly, signaling he was done with the conversation, so Anthony decided to change the subject, "Well, anyway, maybe—well-would you want to come up to my dad's for Christmas? Since you and David..."

Ian blinked, and smiled some, "Uh, sure, yeah. I mean, wow, I didn't realize how close it was getting to Christmas. I haven't done any shopping...all I have is David's present..." Ian paused, smile fading, "C-Can I still give it to him? Or-"

"I'm sure you can, I bet David is asking himself the same thing." Anthony smiled some, "That is, unless your gift is inappropriate..." He teased.

Ian coughed, and set his tea down, cheeks red, "Sh-Shut up! Of course it's appropriate! What the hell do you take me for?!" Anthony chuckled at his reaction. Ian wiped his mouth on a napkin, and leaned back in the booth, "Hey, we're all going ice skating Tuesday, maybe you should come? What time do you get out of school?"

Anthony had almost forgotten that Ian didn't know they went to the same school, he blinked, "Oh-uh-like 3:30." He shrugged his shoulders, "But I don't have, and I don't know how to use ice skates."

Ian laughed, "You can rent some." He shifted in his seat, filling his mouth with food, after he was finished he continued, "Mm, Me and Josh will pick you up at your school, so bring something to change into. I don't wanna be seen with some dorky kid from private school."

Anthony rolled his eyes, smirking, "Who's all going?"

"The whole gang," Ian said, "And our friends Wes and Flitz, you'll like them, their sweet."

I already do. Anthony thought to himself, "David is?"

"We had the plans before..." He said, "And I still want him to go, I still wanna see him and all..." Ian shrugged, and looked at his almost empty plate, he sighed, "Honestly, I hope he—"

"You need a fill up?" Hannah appeared out of no where, grinning when Anthony jumped, "Scared much?" Anthony sighed, but nodded, laughing slightly. She filled up his cup, and looked at Ian, "So, how's the gang? I haven't seen everyone in so long."

"Everyone's good, Josh still cracks jokes about you."

"Josh still a comical genius?" She asked and Anthony snorted, and shook his head, "Take that as a no."

Ian laughed with them, "How're you and Grace? Haven't seen her in a few weeks. And when she in school she looks like she's about to keel over."

Hannah sighed, shifting her weight to her other hip, "She's got in infection, been really sick, doc says she'll get better if she takes her medicine," The blonde blew her hair from her eye, "But, well, Grace isn't big on listening to rules, you know that."

Ian opened his mouth to reply but she was called and ran off to help another customer, Ian itched his beard, and sipped his tea. Anthony frowned, "When are you going to shave?"

Ian blinked, "That's random..." He let out a breathy laugh, "You want me to shave?"

"Kinda. I mean, you totally work the bear thing, but I literally forgot what your face looks like? How do you even grow a beard? I can't even do that yet!"

Ian smirked, "It's the emo girly hair. It's not letting you channel your inner manhood, sorry."

Anthony scoffed, "I would insult your hair, but I'm not wasting my breath."


Anthony stretched as he shut his front door, and yawned, he really should have gone to bed sooner Saturday. But Ian was just so convincing. He could remember the laughter from his mouth as he held tightly onto his stomach, "Please, Anthony, Please, just one more episode!" Who knew Ian had a weakness to South park. He just couldn't say no to a laughing, carefree Ian who's last thoughts were the past week. He just looked so god damn happy, and they watched more than one episode, in fact they watched almost half of the twelfth season.

"Anthony, living room!" His mom called, and it hit him at that moment that he had agreed to talk to her today. With a groan he kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag, padding into the living room. His mother had some soap opera on, and was sitting on the couch. Anthony chooses to sit in the chair, farthest from her. He remember when he used to cuddle up to her, and kiss her cheek every time he saw her. What had happened to make them change so much? She cleared her throat and Anthony looked up at her. He could see the concern in her eyes, and her pained expression, it honestly hurt him, "Can we talk now?"

"Yeah... Yeah." Anthony nodded, sitting up in the chair, "Look, mom, I'm sorry I kinda yelled at you yesterday."

"I forgive you." She said, smiling slightly, "I was...being ridiculous too. But, look, I'm just worried about you."

"You don't have to be," Anthony said with a sigh, "I'm a smart kid, you know that, I wouldn't do anything stupid, and I know when to say no. Just trust me, okay?"

"I do trust you, Anthony." She sighed, "It's just... that boy, Ian, I know he's..."

"What? Gay?" Anthony finished for her.

"Yes." She nodded, "Yes... I just, don't want him to influence you Anthony, I don't approve of that lifestyle, and I don't want my son involved with that crowd." She paused and nervously pulled at the fabric of her skirt. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear before she continued, "I hope you understand what I'm saying."

"I don't." Anthony said, "Ian isn't influencing me in anyway, he's just like me, or Trevor, or Dad. He's just a cool dude, and him being gay has nothing to do with it. In fact, I don't get the big deal with being gay?" His mother sighed, and Anthony continued, "And even if I decided that I was gay, why does that matter? Why can't I—"

"Anthony, I-I'm not homophobic, I'm not scared of them, and I'm not going to pretend they aren't real. They are in this world, and they've just made a few mistakes. The fact a boy so young..." She blinked, and cleared her throat, "Regardless. I won't have my son live like that, you won't understand. You will be ridiculed, Anthony. People will hate you just for that reason, I just want you to be happy. I don't want you to live a life where you're scared to go to school, or you're depressed for being yourself." She sniffed, and Anthony looked up to see tears in her eyes, "Anthony, you're so handsome..y-you could be anything you want. A model, an actor, anything. I bet all the girls have crushes on you, I can't wait to meet your first girlfriend. I just want to go to your wedding, and I want you to give me grandchildren." She sniffed again, and every bone in Anthony's body made him want to run to her.

But he couldn't, as much as he wanted to comfort her, he felt angry, "Mom. You don't make sense. I will be happy, regardless of who I decided to date. Y-You're acting like I am gay, and I'm not. I just..Ian is..." Anthony paused, and tightened his hands into fists, "Ian's gay, and he's one of the happiest people I know, gr-granted he's been down lately, he's still a good, funny, awesome guy." He explained, and shrugged, "And, yeah, I heard kids are shitty to him, but he doesn't let it bring him down. And his mom is perfectly fine with it."

His mom nodded, "You won't understand until you have your own kids, Anthony." She sighed, and rubbed her eye's, "Look...just tell me. Please. There... isn't anything between you two, is there?"

Anthony stood up, and sighed, "No. We haven't done anything like that." His mother sigh of relief was a stab to Anthony's chest, "B-but," He stuff his hands in his pockets, "I-I like him, mom. He's funny, sweet and he makes me feel good."

"Anthony!" She gasped and raised a hand to her chest.

"It's not a big deal!" Antony yelled, and he felt his own eyes sting, "Nothing is going to happen, mom! He has—he's not interested in me."

"I-It all starts out with one guy." She mumbled, "Oh Anthony, oh baby, it's okay. We'll- We can just—I know how to fix this. Ye-Yeah, you won't be sick anymore. I-I'll call Father Carl and we'll—" Anthony didn't let her finish, he turned away and walked out of the living room. He walked upstairs, ignoring his mothers calls and slammed the door. He collapsed on his bed, and couldn't help but let out a strangled sob. His mother never came upstairs to check on him, and he didn't care.

He wasn't sure how long he layed there, and he wasn't sure when he stopped crying. He rubbed his face and sat up. He sniffed and sighed. He didn't want to be in this house, he needed to leave. He stood up and grabbed a hoodie from his closet, and an extra pair of clothes. He tugged the hoodie on and opened his bedroom door. He slammed it again, an he wasn't sure why. He was miserable and angry and he just wanted to show it in some way. He went down the stairs and his mother came out of the kitchen, "Do not slam doors in my house, Anthony Padilla." Her voice was cold and he hurt him even more, but Anthony walked past her, "Where are you going?" Anthony grabbed his bag from the floor and stuffed his clothes in it, "Anthony, where in the world—" Anthony slammed the front door and walked to his vehicle. He unlocked the door and tossed his bag in. He pulled out his phone, sending a message, I'm staying over tonight.

He heard the front door open, "Anthony get in here now! We are having a talk, and I would ground—"

"I have nothing to say to you." Anthony spit and he turned to his mother. She froze, wash rag falling from her hand, "I don't wanna talk to you until you apologize. I am not sick, Ian is not sick, and everyone else, they aren't sick either." He got into his car, and he had to use all his will power to pull out of the drive way. His phone buzzed and through his tears he looked away from the road to read it, It's a school night. What's going on with you?.

He didn't even reply he just kept driving. When he finally got to his destination he wiped his eyes and parked. He got out of the car, grabbing his bag, and walked up to the apartment building. He pressed the buzzer and the door automatically clicked. He opened it and walked inside, getting into the elevator. He wrapped his arms around himself as he sniffed, eyes filling with tears again. He never did anything like this. He was a good kid. What if his mom called the cops? What if she came to Ian's house? What would his dad say?

Anthony shut his eyes and tried to control his breathing. He opened his eyes but his vision was burly, he groaned. Why was the elevator taking so long? Was it stuck? Anthony was growing light headed. He needed to sit. He needed to calm down. He needed to get the hell out of this box and he needed it now. He didn't want to have an episode now, he couldn't. He rubbed viciously as his eyes, trying to keep the tears away but it wasn't working. The elevator doors opened and Anthony sighed contently, as he exited. He walked down the hall, arms finding their way back around himself.

He walked up to apartment 304 and knocked on the door. The door opened and Ian stood there, "A-Anthony?" He asked, staring in shock, "Why are you—what's going on? Are you okay?" Ian pulled him inside a little to fast and Anthony felt himself stumble. Ian held onto him, keeping him standing up straight, "Anthony...? You're scaring me." They were in the living and Anthony was sitting. When did they get in hear? Ian was rubbing his arm, "Let me get you some water." He stood up but Anthony reached out.

"No." Was that his voice? It didn't sound like himself? He cleared his throat, "J-Just...sit down."

Ian didn't argue and he sat down, "What happened?" He asked, and rubbed the tears from his cheeks. Anthony couldn't answer. He leaned forward into Ian and before he knew it they fell back on the couch. Ian hand combing through his hair. He didn't ask again, and Anthony was okay with it. He sighed and his eyes closed. "You can't fall asleep." Ian mumbled and Anthony groaned. Ian chuckled, "I mean, you can stay here. But if you're tired you should go to my room and sleep."

"Will you come with?" Anthony asked.

"I have homework," Ian replied, "But yeah, I'll do it in there." Anthony sat up and Ian got up as well. The two walked to his room, Anthony dropped his bag and immediately spread out over the sheets. "Anthony, man, here. Change into something comfortable." Ian set sweat pants beside him, "Your jeans are too tight to sleep in again."

Anthony sighed and sat up again, "Checking out my legs?" He smiled some and looked at him.

"And your ass. Never forget your ass." Ian smiled, "What time do you need to go to school?"

Anthony sighed and felt the fabric, "Whenever you do." Ian looked confused and Anthony shrugged, "I switched over to public school, surprise."

"Th-That's..." Ian blinked, "That's fucking awesome, dude! Why didn't you tell me sooner? When do you start?!"

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you. I started, uh, Wednesday." Anthony rubbed the back of his neck, as he slid off the bed and stood up.

"Really dude?" Ian said, falling back against the door to give Anthony room, "And I... I'm really sorry, man."

"Don't worry about it," Anthony shrugged, and unbuttoned his pants, kicking them off and blushing some, "You didn't know."

"Still..." Ian mumbled, "You have bad luck." He pointed out.

Anthony pulled on the sweats and nodded, "I do." He looked up at Ian who was blushing too. Maybe he shouldn't have pulled his pants off right there. It didn't matter, it wasn't like Anthony was going commando. Ian stared at Anthony. Anthony wasn't sure where he was looking, but it was making him feel a little uncomfortable, "Um, Ian."

"Yeah?" The other boy looked up at his face.

"Thanks... for not asking me twenty billion times what happened."

Ian smiled, and stood up straight, the space between them all but gone, "Of course. I won't force you into anything." He chuckled and reached behind him opening the door, "I'll be back in a few."

Anthony shifted, letting Ian leave. He sighed after that and fell back on his bed, falling asleep before Ian even came back in.


AN:: I really like the next chapter. it was fun to write!

Okay. So important, I have a seasonal job. I work in an amusement park arcade during the summer, and we're actually short three people this year, so my boss is going to have me working extra shifts until he can find replacements (which will prolly take a while.) But, on to the stuff you actually care about, I can't guarantee weekly updates. I'll try to update weekly, but I'll have major issues with it. I AM NOT DISCONTINUING THE FIC. It's just gonna be a rough summer :/ I mean, we're prolly at the half way point right now, sadly, but we'll see just how long it'll be. I'm thinking anywhere from 25 to 30 chapters.

ALSO. The fic will actually be doing a large time skip, so, try not to get too confused. That wont be happening for a few chapters though. Ill key you in when.