So sorry about the long wait. With Raquel gone, we've really slowed down. Even when we promised faster updates, it's just... we're sorry. In this chapter, we're going to get a move on things but it isn't long at all. We just don't want to prolong the update. Sorry about that but at least we tried!
As I walk home, the sounds of cars and bikes, and motorcycles, they're all blurry. I'm going too fast. If only I had a Demon bike... that'd be cool. Anyways, I've just left Magnus's and I'm already feeling empty. I swear, we're not even that intimate but I like him that much it feels this way. Fuck. It's not suppose to feel this way. I don't... I don't have crushes. I can't. It's not me. That's probably why Jace and Izzy look at me funny since now I've 'changed'. Not my attitude or anything but legitimately my clothes.
Scaring the shit out of me, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I'm caught off guard for a second but in other words, I'm okay. I quickly pull over and pull out the iPhone.
"What?" My voice is a little raspy from wearing the helmet which muffles my voice.
"Where are you? You were suppose to be back from Magnus's 2 hours ago!" Isabelle. Really, she's more of a mother than she is my sister. Mind you, my younger sister.
"I'm on my way. Don't get your thongs in a twist." Yes, she does have more of those than regular underwear. Sue me for doing the laundry every week.
"Well, get here fast."
"Why?"
"Jace is getting close to the whiskey stage." Damn. Okay, you're probably confused. The first stage is hardcore training. Second stage: Eating whatever there is possible in the kitchen, even if it means actually cooking it himself. The third stage: Seducing Clary for multiple rounds. Fourth stage: Playing Taylor Swift and Adele songs on repeat. And the last stage is the whiskey stage. Getting drunk so bad that he's brought over 10 prostitutes for an orgy. All this could happen just because of one thing. And do you know what that thing is? No training. Without his training, he becomes a complete disaster. Here's another chain. A really random one at that. No training, no body strength. No body strength, no sex. No sex, no confidence. No confidence, no voice. No voice, no one to talk to. No one to talk to, no ego/sarcasm to spit out. No ego/sarcasm to spit out, no one there to listen to his depression. No one there to listen to his depression, no one there at all. No one there at all, no one to train with. No one to train with, no training. No training, and the chain starts again. Pretty long chain but to people who live with him it's understandable.
"Make him play Carly Rae Jepsen, 1D, or JB. Just keep him busy. I'll be there in two."
"You know who those celebrities are? I applaud you my dear brother." There's a little pride in her voice but I'm sure I knew who those people were before she did.
"Just go." Tapping the 'end call' button, I zoom off to the Institute going over the speed limit by... I'm not bothered to calculate. Let's just say it's over the limit.
Once I'm parked in the garage, a golden figure battles me to the ground. Okay, there are two issues here. One, the ground is disgusting. Two, the position we're in is not one that teenagers can go past and think 'that's so appropriate'. What with me being gay, the situation just got to a whole new level of awkward.
"Jace, you're crushing me," I groan as I attempt to get him off me.
"I don't care. And in case you haven't noticed, I've got a girlfriend which you're best friends with." I roll my eyes. He's a complete nuisance.
"Well, I care. Now get off before I use magic on you."
"Has that warlock really brainwashed you already? I had a bet with Izzy it would last a month before that."
"Binding rune your girlfriend created. Now seriously, GET OFF!" He jolted right up, slightly stepping in my lower region. I wince and whimper but don't show it as much as I should.
"Come on, Maryse and Robert are home and they've got some news for us. Izzy's already with them." I sigh. Can't run away now. Jac senses this and lends me a helping hand. "You're not going to die. They're our parents."
"Sometimes I desperately which they weren't," I mumble, stepping into the claustrophobic walls of the Institute.
"Jonathan has set his targets into getting demons into the daylight. When this has been fulfilled for all the demons he has recruited, it's most likely he'll recruit more and turn them into Daylighters as well. After this, the Clave assumes he will put the Book of White to use and find runes that can strengthen or heal demons and Downworlders alike." Robert is strict with his tone. He gets way too serious at these times. I can't blame him for that though. He's just concerned like the whole Shadowhunter population is.
"Book of White..." I thought Magnus gave him the Gray Book?
"Yes, the Book of White. There are others but this is the one he was specifically looking for," explains Maryse. I think I love her more. She's not as harsh and is more accepting. Yes, yes, I'll tell her about Magnus one day but, today or this month, or this year, isn't the time.
"Why this one?" breaks in Jace.
"We aren't sure. No one has seen these books since Jonathan Shadowhunter. And if it has, it's been well hidden."
Yeah, well hidden in Magnus's apartment, I thought.
"So, is that it?" asks Izzy, desperate to get out of the office.
"I'm afraid not," sighs Maryse. She seems genuinely sad about telling us more. It almost looks like it's... personal.
"In the Lightwood name, we've been elected to search for Jonathan Morgenstern." Robert. He doesn't seem too blue about it. More like proud. "As an adult, Alec, you will come with us to Idris and search in the Brocelin Plains and Brocelin Forest." Excuse me? I- I can't go to Idris! Let alone that horrid forest! I've never even stepped foot out of the stone streets, even alleyways I've never been in! And... Magnus! What am I going to do? I can't last-
"You will stay there for the months of November and December."
-2 fucking months without Magnus!
"We would have taken you to Idris with us tomorrow but the Clave has decided that they need to be more certain with his whereabouts." I take a deep breath in and another deep breath out. Jace puts his hand on my back, calming me slightly.
"Okay." That's all I say. Oh. Kay.
"That's all. You are dismissed." Our father waves us off and we all stand up from our seats. As we walk in a straight line straight towards the door, I feel Izzy's hand touch my shoulder. I tense up, but the feeling quickly goes away as I realize it's comfort that she's trying to give me, not a 'watch out' warning.
When I find Clary waiting for Jace outside the office, I immediately take her away and bring her to the bathroom. Her looks are questioning but I explain as fast as I can.
"Give me the mind reading rune, stat. I know Maryse is going to come and talk to me privately later about what just happened in the office. Get Jace to explain later." Her mouth doesn't open in attempt to talk back like she usually does with her stubbornness. Instead, her hands reach for her stele and she draws the rune directly onto my skin. I thank her and zoom up to my room. As I pass Jace's room, I hear his thoughts of how amazing Clary's hair is. As I pass Izzy's room, I hear her flashbacks of how Simon is in bed. Angel, he's a screamer but I really didn't need to know that. Yup, this rune works. But I'm wondering how long it'll last.
"I'm sensing some hesitation," says Maryse with a soft voice.
My eyes look behind me and at the door then back down. The glittery spells are gone which is good. I sit on the edge of my bed, shirt off, staring at my hands.
"About what?" My voice is low again from having my head bent down. Of course I know what she's thinking about. RUNES WORK WONDERS.
"Everything." she pauses. "Can I come in?"
"Sure." I can't really deny her. She's my mother. "I'm sensing that you want to give me a mother-to-son talk." Being huomourous is Going to a human school, going to Idris, getting a girlfriend..." my eyes go wide. She sits shoulder-to-shoulder on the edge of the bed. "And that reminds me, when are you going to get a girlfriend? I haven't seen you date anyone like how Jace dates Clary or how Isabelle is with Simon." Oh, so she knows about Izzy and the Bloodsucker. I'm not surprised. She's not good with being secretive.
"And what do you think of Simon and Izzy?" I want to know how she is with the Shadowhunter and Downworlder thing first. If she's not okay with that, then she's definitely not going to be okay with a gay Shadowhunter and Downworlder relationship.
"They're all right I guess. I mean, he's an immortal bloodsucking newborn, but he does have feelings. I knew him as a mundane and he seemed quite responsible. As long as he doesn't hurt my only daughter, I'm able to adjust and understand. They'll figure their own ways out of working the immortality thing. I trust that they're old enough to do so." Her eyes soften, not harden. Her pupils aren't dilating and her breathing is staying even. And with what's going through her head... She's telling the truth.
"Alexander," now is when I cringe unnoticeably. "you're becoming an adult. One day, you'll be in an intimate relationship and maybe even get married to that person. I just want to tell you that if you don't find a love soon, your father will go out on his way to find you a partner. I personally don't like that idea since I had to go through it myself. It isn't a nice feeling to be bonded to someone you don't love truly and have to grow to love before hand." She went through an arranged marriage? That's new. I swear, she and Robert understand each other like their other half! Must be from the 'growing to love' part.
"And if I'm already in a relationship, what should I do?" My eyes stare at my hands. I have a feeling my face is glowing red from the thoughts of my boyfriend. I still can't get over that. My boyfriend. Mine.
Maryse hesitates, and an unreadable look spreads across her face. "You're in a relationship." Okay, so she knows that I'm in a relationship. Now to get to who it is.
"Yeah," I breathe out, preparing myself for the canon of questions.
"Who is it? Is it a Shadowhunter? Do Isabelle and Jace know?" She isn't saying 'she'. Maryse is saying 'it'. Does she know? I'm not taking any chances
"Not a Shadowhunter. Isabelle and Jace know. They've met a couple of times." I'm not spilling any beans here. At least, I'm hoping no
"A Downworlder?"
"A warlock." Now I'm hinting at who it is. "You've met a couple of times too." A sad smile plays on my face. I look at my mothers face. She's confused, thinking deeply. I'm begging that Clary didn't give her a rune before she came in here.
"I know of no female warlock..." I read her mind. He's never shown any affection towards any girls, has he? No, I don't think he has. Any mundanes? No. What warlock do I know? Well, there's Magnus but he's not the type that would... maybe. No! He couldn't be! With a Downworlder?! I don't... Really... What? He couldn't be... gay? Could he? It would make sense since he's never dated a girl. But... Robert.
She so gets that part. Robert. But the rest, she literally just said the answer right there!
"You're not..." Maryse stands up, eyeing me. She paces along the hardwood floor, back and forth back and forth, like a ticking clock.
My mouth doesn't move. She seems too tense. Angel, I knew this would happen. She's going to kick me out. I know she is.
Her heels clack even louder now. It's barely comprehendible. Her sighs are heavier and the way she looks at me is just... It makes me feel bad for being me.
"You... you're gay?" my whole body stiffens. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it. Why did I hint this in the first place?
"I..." I am but I don't want to be. My heart is racing and my forehead is sweating so bad that it feels like I just did double of the rounds of training with Jace. I slow my breathing down and try to calm my nerves. It's taking so long for me to processes this. Why can't I just channel Jace for 2 minutes and be over confident and egotistic. That would be so much more helpful now.
"You... are you in a... relationship with... Magnus?" I want to say yes... Come on Jace, give me something to work with here. Parabatai strength? Your awesome confidence that I wish I had? Anything?
"Yeah." I flip over on my bed. No, I don't stay lying down. I completely walk out of my room. Jace and Iz open up their doors, peeking out to see why someone was going out so late without trying to be stealthy. Mum comes out and stands at the doorframe. I keep going. I go down the steps of the Institute and head towards the path. I can see the little glitter of magic still in the air. With my stele, I draw the portal. I don't care where to, but it's going somewhere. The last thing I hear is my sister and Jace saying,
"He told her."
