Because this chapter wasn't suposed to exist in the first place, I decided to do something... 'unusual'. I got really bored while writing it, so I decided to throw the fourth wall out the window... more than once. So, enjoy the wackiest chapter I have ever written (so far)... after I've replied to the reviews. Sorry!
echo333: (Chapter 10): "I loved this, so funny! Especially the t-shirt ideas, the guy at the counter giving Clank funny looks every time he came back in, and Ratchet's excuse that Sasha's gift was for Clank's girlfriend. And Clank was so cute picking gifts for everyone :)"
Yeah, I decided to keep the focus on Clank for the majority of the chapter. I figured that with Clank's honesty and professional viewpoint, things would get funny. And I couldn't resist having Ratchet come up with the worst, yet funniest excuse.
echo333: (Chapter 11): "Hee hee, sorry, Clank, it really is funny xD
Hmm, let's see...Ooh, maybe Ratchet and Clank can make a Ginger Bread House? :)"
Yes, I imagined Clank getting stuck in tape and looking at Ratchet with puppy dog eyes would be pretty funny and adorable. And I did use your Gingerbread house idea... though, as you're going to find out, stuff doesn't always go as planned... and the fourth wall is going to learn that the hard way.
vengarl22: "Good chapter and yes gift wrapping is a nightmare but alas I have an idea, every Christmas my family watches a Christmas Story it's kind of a tradition so maybe like have ratchet and clank watch some kind of Christmas movie"
I used your idea of Ratchet and Clank watching a Christmas movie in combination with echo333's idea of them making a Gingerbread house. But, since Clank - no, I won't spoil it for you. Anyhow, glad to hear you liked the last chapter, and I hope you'll like this one as well. Enjoy!
Max Chronicle: "Tape...furry creatures' worst enemy.
Sweet gift on Ratchet's part; although I cannot excuse Ratchet for FORGETTING! HOW DARE YOU?!
Ideas...huh...I'll think of something. (Beat) Done, I'll PM you.
Max out
P.S. These were all good one-shots. Kinda makes me wish that each of these were an individual story so that I could favorite them all. Well, you don't always get what you want in life."
Yes... sorry, couldn't resist putting in that something went wrong. And Ratchet... well, the fourth wall already goes out the window this chapter, so I decided to personally teach Ratchet a lesson for forgetting Clank as well as breaking the fourth wall numerous times.
P.S. Is they were individual stories they would eventually start to clutter up the archive. As flattered as I am, I personally think it's better if it's a collection of one-shots. Who knows, maybe next year I'll write a few individual stories. (I already got a sweet idea... 'a Christmas carol'... perhaps I'll even do that one this year. Who knows?)
Alright, everyone! Now, without further ado, witness the fourth wall being thrown out the window as well as Ratchet and Clank (trying to) make a Gingerbread house and watch a Christmas-themed movie. Enjoy!
One-shot 15
Days until Christmas Eve: 1
Gingerbread houses, Christmas movies, and a lot of randomness.
"Alright, so how are we going to make this..." Ratchet mumbled, browsing through a cooking book while wearing a chef's hat.
"Make what?"
"A gingerbread house!"
"A what?! And why are you wearing a chef's hat?"
"The author simply thought it was funny, and... I just broke the fourth wall, didn't I?"
"Ratchet, I do not follow. In fact, that last sentence was so weird that I am starting to question your sanity."
Ratchet laughed. "Yeah, I'm craaazy!"
Clank shook his head. "I am going to call the doctor."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't! The last time you went to the doctor with me the doctor said you should go to a vet!"
"Hmm... perhaps I should indeed call a vet..."
"Clank!"
Clank let out his trademark giggle. "No worries, Ratchet. Anyhow, what were you going to cook?"
"A gingerbread house, basically a house made out of cookies!"
"Sounds like fun! However, are you quite certain you have the necessary ingredients?"
"I was checking that, and... we don't have enough milk. Author, little help here?"
"Ratchet, who is this 'author' you keep talking about? Are you seeing things?"
"Yeah, I'm seeing an extra bottle of milk in the back of the fridge. Thanks!"
"...I did not do anything."
"I wasn't thanking... ah, nevermind. We have the ingredients."
"But you just said we haven't got enough milk!"
"Yeah, and because I'm being lazy right now I broke the fourth wall again to get some milk."
"...Ratchet, you should go see a shrink."
"Why should I?"
"Because you keep talking like there is someone else here, someone you name 'author'."
"About that, author, can you make Clank stop asking about you so we can get to the cooking? Please?"
"Ratchet, what- let's go cooking!"
Ratchet chuckled. "This one-shot isn't making sense at all! Wait, what did I just say?"
TWG: "Enough, people! This chapter is supposed to be about cooking a gingerbread house, like reviewer echo333 suggested! And so far we've already wasted over 300 words on fourth-wall nonsense!"
"...Clank, did you hear something?"
"No, I did not."
"Huh. Today's weird. Anyhow, gingerbread houses."
Ratchet started to work, Clank watching him with great interest. However, when Ratchet asked Clank if he could give him the flour... Clank accidentally dropped it. The result were a white kitchen and two white Lombaxes.
"Dang it!"
"Ratchet. K+ rating."
"...Okay, what did you just say?"
"I don't know!" Clank said, panicked.
TWG: *Facepalms* "Alright, this is going completely off-track once again. Let's fix that real quick..."
{Ten minutes later...}
After the two Lombaxes and their kitchen were flour-free again, they got back to work, and in half an hour the result of their hard work had been put in a hot oven. While waiting, Ratchet and Clank watched a Christmas movie, but since Clank wasn't familiar with Christmas, Ratchet had to explain everything to the grey Lombax, and it was starting to wear him down.
Luckily, salvation came in the form of a loud beep coming from the oven. "Ah, look, the gingerbread house is finished! Or, well, it's walls are. We still gotta glue it together."
"But using glue would make the gingerbread house inedible!"
"I'm not going to use glue, Clank. I am going to use icing."
"Ooooh, now I understand. However, since when do we have icing?"
"Erm... author?"
TWG: "Well, you guys surely are beating up the fourth wall this time, eh?"
{Ten minutes later...}
Ratchet finally attached the chimney to the house using icing. "Alright, now we have to wait for a while for the icing to gain strength."
"Okay then. I believe there is a Christmas-themed movie we still have to finish watching."
Ratchet mentally groaned, because he knew he would have to explain every single detail again.
{One hour later...}
"Alright, I believe the icing has gained quite a lot of strength." Clank said.
"Ya think?" Ratchet replied.
Clank carefully poked one of the walls of the gingerbread house, but the house didn't collapse. It hardly moved. "I do not simply 'think', I am certain. I even tested my hypothesis."
"You do realize that I have no idea what 'hypothesis' means?"
"Yes, which is exactly why I used it."
Ratchet shook his head with a laugh. "Anyhow, we still have to decorate it. You know, with pieces of chocolate for example."
"But we do not have 'pieces of chocolate'! In fact, we have nothing to decorate the gingerbread house with."
"...I could just-"
"No. That fourth wall's had enough for this chapter... and I just broke it again, didn't I?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Me neither. Anyhow, we have both seen how my body reacted after it's first introduction to sugar. I do not want to overload my body by forcing it to digest a lot of sugar."
"Good point, but you know what that means..."
"What?"
"He have to do this again. With no fourth wall breaks next time though."
TWG: "Ratchet, I am getting sick and tired of you breaking the fourth wall over and over again. It's costing me way too much effort to build it up again. So, there is only one solution." *Starts to type*
Clank suddenly stood up and grabbed a sticker. Where he got it from, nobody knows.
He quickly pasted the sticker over Ratchet's mouth. The sticker read "Do not open until Christmas."
TWG: *Finishes typing* "That should teach him."
Alright, that was probably the wackiest chapter I ever wrote. Anyhow, tomorrow's the grand finale! (And Ratchet, don't open until Christmas!)
Also, echo333, I hope you don't mind your name appeared in the chapter. I simply couldn't resist damaging the fourth wall even further.
