Many many many thanks to lmbrtvll for doing a great job editing this chapter!
"I think I'm sick."
Chase immediately dropped what he was doing and was at his heavily pregnant wife's side.
She smiled at him. "Not that kind of sick, silly. I think I have the flu."
"How the hell did you catch it? We see practically no one. When was the last time you had any human contact with anybody except me?"
"If sniffling and coughing kids in the park don't count than it could have been a delivery boy," Cameron said jokingly.
"Let me see your throat and check your temperature," Chase asked. Her playful mood didn't fool Chase; he was still concerned about her.
"If you want to play a doctor you can do it just as well in the clinic." Her smile faded. She wanted him to get back to work; she was afraid that the more time he spent at home the harder it would be for him to go back.
"If you want to get rid of me than just say so."
"I don't! This is one of the happiest times of my life. I just worry about you."
"Don't, I'm fine. Cuddy gave me plenty of time off - until you have our baby."
He made an attempt to check her throat, but she smiled and gently pushed his hand away. She got up to make tea.
"Are you sure you're not in labor?"
"I'm sure..." She thought for a moment. "I think, I'm sure"
"Maybe we should go to the hospital and get you checked out. I don't think you'd enjoy giving birth at home or in an ambulance."
"Actually, I was hoping you'd give me a ride." She said with a grin.
"It could be too late for a ride. And honestly, I don't want you to give birth in a vehicle of any sort."
"But I don't want to go there too early either. They won't let me go."
"Doctors are the worst patients." Chase muttered.
She carefully approached him and said barely above a whisper, "Maybe you can have a look. You can do it, can't you?"
He violently shook his head.
"I'm sure you've done it before! What's the difference now?"
"I have! But not to a woman I'm intimate with."
She knew it. He wasn't the type of man who would hold her hand but on the other hand she wasn't the type of a woman who would want him to do so.
"If you want me to have a look, then I think we should go."
"No! You brought this up. I was talking about the flu. It's really nothing."
"But it's time."
"Nobody's ever on time. Besides, the first time the whole process could take forever."
"You know it's not always like that."
"Please, Chase. I know what I'm talking about. I don't even feel anything."
"If your plan is to make me deliver the baby, it won't work. I can't and I won't." He didn't say it but he was afraid; afraid that his hands would shake, afraid that he wouldn't be able to think straight. When the time came and it would be expected of him.
"I won't make you do it." She ran her hands through his hair. She knew he was worrying even more than she was and it made her smile.
Chase rolled to the other side, automatically checking the time on the nightstand clock - 4 a.m. He looked at Cameron, she was lying on her side with her back turned towards him, but he noticed a faint light coming from under her arm. He looked more carefully; she wasn't sleeping, she was playing with her iPhone.
"What are you doing?" Chase asked, confused. His voice was gravely from sleep.
"Nothing." She turned to him and placed a kiss on his forehead.
He knew something was up and he should stay awake for her, but couldn't. That was another reason why he couldn't get back to work. He was a doctor, he was on call all times of the day. But he couldn't. Sometimes he would just zone out during dinner, hell, he would have probably slept through the differential if there were one. His body was betraying him. It annoyed him to no end, but there was nothing he could do except wait. That was what Foreman told him, that was what he understood as a doctor himself, but didn't want to accept as a patient.
Cameron listened carefully. When she was sure that his breathing was even and he was fast asleep she turned to her side, complaining mentally for her enormous stomach. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and moved it to his back. She was glad he didn't feel it, the scars she could feel under her fingers would never fade away. He used to be okay with walking in the nude at home, but now he was covering as much of himself as he could, as if he was ashamed of his body and the abuse it had gone through. He shouldn't be, it wasn't his fault, he did the right thing, but he didn't listen to her. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and then she felt her stomach stiffen for almost a minute. She looked up at her iPhone again. She had been counting her contractions before Chase distracted her. Now she could see a pattern, they were coming regularly every five to six minutes.
She slowly got up and went to the bathroom. It felt easier when she was moving. She dialed the number of a midwife from maternity ward. She liked her and they had gotten closer when Cameron was looking for the right person to deliver her baby. Originally she wished it would have been done by Chase or even House, but the more time had passed, the more she felt better in choosing a woman over a men.
Chase woke up to find Cameron fast asleep by his side. For a moment he thought that he dreamed that he caught her awake in the middle of the night, but then he saw her phone on the nightstand and understood that it wasn't a dream.
He was in the shower when he heard the doorbell. He didn't want to open it, but he didn't want to wake up Cameron either. He dried off quickly, put on the bathrobe and went to answer the door.
It was Millie from the maternity ward.
"Hi." He managed with a small smile, unsure what she was doing on their doorstep.
"Hi, nice to see you, Dr. Chase." She hadn't seen him since that tragic day when he was arrested. He looked good. She did her best to hide her feelings about what happened to him, knowing him she expected that pity was the last thing he wanted from the people around him.
He moved aside to let her in. Deep down he knew why she was here, but the thought that that moment actually came left him unable to utter a word.
"Cameron called me, wanted me to have a look at her." She decided to help him out. She hang her coat. "Can you show me, where I can wash my hands?"
He shook his head slightly as if waking up from a dream and led the way. He felt a bit ashamed that his wife had to call someone else to have an exam. He should have been able to do it himself.
She read his mind. "Don't feel ashamed, Dr. Chase. Not many men can see their loved ones in labor, doctors can be the worst."
"No, it's just..." He fell asleep! She needed him, and he fell asleep. He would never excuse himself for that.
"Where is she?"
"Sleeping."
Just in that moment they heard a faint moan from the bedroom. Chase jumped up to Cameron's side immediately.
Millie followed behind with a smile. She brought her bag and took out a pair of gloves. The two women greeted each other, but Cameron's face was still tensed from the last contraction.
"I'm fine... I even managed to sleep, but this one made me wake up." She looked up at Chase, "You can go... or stay if you want." Then she noticed his guilty look and smiled reassuringly, "I'm fine, Chase, don't worry, it's what women are supposed to do."
He muttered a faint "okay" and left the room.
In couple of minutes Millie came to the kitchen. Chase silently handed her a mug of coffee.
"She's fine, but we better be going." She took a sip. Noticing that he became paler in a matter of seconds, she smiled again.
"Everything is all right, it's not like we have to rush, it's just time to go. You can go talk to her, she said she already prepared everything she may need."
Chase wondered when Cameron actually had done that and went to his wife's side.
000
House was standing in the middle of the corridor staring inside one of the private rooms in the maternity ward.
Blinds were half closed so he couldn't see Cameron's face but he saw her hand protectively wrapped around a small bundle. Neither was moving so House assumed that they were sleeping. Chase was slumped in the nearest chair dozing. His head was falling to one side, but when he would hit his shoulder he would jerk awake, then look around worriedly. House turned around and started to walk away.
At first Chase thought that he dreamed the familiar thud of the cane, but then he opened his eyes only to see a long figure slowly limping away.
He got up, looked at Cameron and went after diagnostician.
When he was a dozen feet away he called his name.
House stopped but didn't turn around.
Things weren't smooth between him and Chase lately. Foreman tried to persuade House to hire Chase back but in the process of doing it House managed to learn the whole conversation and the fact that Chase was hurt by what he had done. After that he decided not to bother the young man again. But still he was monitoring his medical condition through Cuddy or Foreman, making sure that everything was fine.
Cameron took Chase home the next day after he woke up from the coma. Wilson was pushing House and telling him that he should visit Chase, but House refused. He knew exactly what Chase was going through. He never forgave Stacy after she had made the choice for him. Now he was doing exactly the same thing and Wilson's words that he saved Chase's life did little for his comfort. The only one who could free him of his guilt, was Chase, who didn't know what to do about it either.
The rational part of Chase knew that House saved him from inevitable death, but the way he did it never gave him rest. He wanted to talk about it with someone, but couldn't. Cameron was busy with preparations for their baby. Wilson would have been on House's side whatever he would say to him. And he didn't want to talk to Forman because eventually House would find out about it. He even thought to share it with Heather but she was too young to understand him. So he was silently waiting for House to make the first move, though he knew perfectly well that his ex-boss would never do it. Sometimes he wanted to call the old doctor, but then would decide against it because it wasn't something to discuss over the phone. And to make himself go to the hospital or even House's apartment was too much effort for him.
And now he had a chance to make things right. He understood that he was behaving like a spoiled child who had been saved from being hit by the train but was crying about a toy he had left there.
He was searching for House's eyes to let him know how truly sorry he was, but the older doctor wasn't looking at him. And when he eventually did, Chase saw there a deep regret as if House was blaming himself much more than anybody else. Chase realized that his words would not be enough to free his ex-boss of his guilt.
"Congratulations... on the baby," House muttered and started to walk away again.
Chase waited for a second and cried:
"Wait!"
But House didn't stop. Chase made several quick steps in his direction and placed his hand on his shoulder to stop him. That move brought back a strange sense of déjà vu - if this were a repeat of last time - Chase would finish his monologue on the floor. House didn't want that to happen, so he stopped to let Chase speak.
"I'm sorry," the young man said, "I'm really sorry. I know you did it to help me, but... but you didn't even ask." Chase was still trying to justify his actions.
"You did the same." House muttered and moved past Chase, but the latter stopped him again.
"What do you mean?"
"You didn't ask whether I wanted you to get killed for me or not."
"House, it's not the same."
"Are you sure about that?"
"I told you, I had no choice."
"You could have come to me."
"You would have thought I was a coward."
"You don't know that." But House knew that Chase was right, he would have never believed that the FBI would have carried through with their threats.
"What is done is done." Chase didn't want to dwell into that subject, "Please forgive me. And thank you, thank you for everything you've done for me."
"You're welcome." House released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He didn't want to believe that Chase's words meant so much to him. But as usual he pretended that he doesn't care and walked away.
This time Chase didn't stop him. He could feel that the diagnostician was still hurt, but he hoped that he would find the way to get things on the mend with House.
The end.
I've finished this story eventually! I know that it's not the best chapter, but unfortunately it's the best I can do right now.
I want to thank all reviewers very very very much! Also many thanks to the one's who added this story to their favorites.
My special thanks to sfchemist who's long and very helpful reviews supported me more than anything! And to You're out of your vulcan mind for being my first reviewer and beta-reader on fanfiction net. I used to be a little upset that authors of my favorite stories didn't comment on any of my stories, but I suppose they didn't like them enough to do so.
And again, thanks VERY much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing :) And if you have anything to say about this story please do.
