Author's Note: I'M BACK!

Chapter 12:

Upon returning from my short escape, I had to slip back into Mommy Mode. The kids were sick, which meant I had to stay home from work to take care of them. I hated not being able to be myself, to have those small stolen moments making love to Zuko on breaks.

My body craved him in the week I had to stay away. Of course, I had to continue living this double life and acting like I only wanted my husband. It was boring being the Katara everyone knew and love. With Zuko I could be as dirty, as kinky, and as free as I ever wanted. My nipples were hard just thinking about him kissing me, as I washed the dishes. I could feel myself becoming excited. I was definitely going through withdrawal from him, to explain it simply.

Kya and her brother were sleeping, much to my joy, after they had both been running attitudes and crying. I tried to clean in between the down time, but I was still so frustrated.

The doorbell rang. Toph did mention she was coming to help me take care of the kids. She somehow finessed Thursdays off at work and had a lot of free time. How Toph worked her magic on Mr. Boss I would never know.

"Hey Sugar Queen. How's the kiddies?" Toph hugged me with open arms. "We miss you back at the office."

I missed the office too. I did enjoy being independent. I enjoyed working, but I more enjoyed the freedom. I felt constrained at home.

I say as I dry a plate, "Uh, they're both having more attitude than the flu now. They'll be going back to school on Monday."

Toph rummages through my fridge at lightning speeds. "Great, what can I do to help? I'll let you know, I do not wash dishes."

"Nothing for now. Just keep me company. It's hard when your only source of socializing are cranky 7 year olds."

I finish the dishes and we sit at the kitchen table. I needed company. I needed Toph. She was so much more level headed much more realistic. She could help me. If anyone could save me from myself it was Toph.

She asked, "So how was the conference?"

I give the safe and simple answer. I had been avoiding talking about conference for weeks. I knew it would stir up memories. "Good, the presentation was met with good reviews for the product."

"Katara." She winked and earned forward. "How was the conference really?"

I insisted, "Toph? I already told you everything went fine."

She was not having it. She and I both knew better. "Did you fuck our boss or not?"

"Toph, shhh. The kids can wake up."

"So that means you did?"

"I, we did Toph and it was amazing."

She sipped her tea and said, "Really? More amazing than getting it from the man you pledged your entire life to. You know, the man with whom you have two kids with. Hm, sorry I mean three kids with."

Leave it to Toph to address the elephant in the room. I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet and I was trying to not think about that.

"You don't understand. Our marriage, it's bad okay. We're working on it. Zuko is just extracurricular an activity."

"Well, it looks like your extracurricular activity is outside of your house." Toph said nonchalantly.

Fuck. What was he doing here? Did he not understand that I need to keep him and my real life separate? I rushed out into the yard.

He was as beautiful as he was the last time I saw him. Why was he so perfect?

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. It's been so long Katara. I needed to see you." He placed his hands around my waist and I immediately smacked his hand away.

"My kids are in the house. We cannot do this."

He grasps my hands in his and looks directly into my eyes. "Let me in Katara. I have some work to show you."

"I- Okay."

My heart was racing simply from him touching me. He followed me in the house and was met with ambivalence from Toph.

"Oh. Hey, Boss Man. Come to check on your favorite employee."

"Yea, well I have some work to share about the program."

"Um, Toph, we're going to go upstairs to the office and talk. I'll be back in second."

Immediately after we made it to the office upstairs, he picked me up into his arms and held me in the air. I could feel his hardness under the fabric of his suit jacket as I wrapped my legs tight around him.

He leaned in close, so close I could feel his breathe on my cheeks. He tilted his head and whispered, "I can't stay away from you. Did you miss me?"

Blood rushed to my head and I felt dizzy and fuzzy. With his hardened erection pressing anxiously against my core and his hands around the small of my back, I couldn't deny how bad I was lusting after him right now.

"Yes God, yes but I can't do this. Not here. Not with the kids upstairs."

"Your kids?" He put me down and walked over to my husband's desk. It was a picture of Aang and the kids. He picked it up and examined it closely. "They're beautiful Katara."

"Put that back!" I snatched the picture frame quickly and put it back on the desk quickly. All I needed was for Aang to notice something had been moved.

He jumped. My sudden frantic attitude had frightened him.

"I'm sorry. I just can't control myself around you. I didn't want to wait. I had to see you. When I'm not with you, kissing you, touching you, I just go crazy. I have to have you Kat."

"Z-zuko please you need to go. If my husband or kids find you here it'll look suspicious."

"Don't you want me too Katara?"

"Y-yes." My legs shake and knees lock. My body was under his control, even when he wasn't touching me. I was at his mercy and I loved every moment it.

"Let me touch you." He murmurs softly. I feel his hands slide up my skirt and touch where I need it the most. "Let me have you. No one else. There's no one else."

Before I knew it he was kissing me on top of the very desk that Aang sat at during the night.

Next thing I knew he was throbbing inside of me and thrusting into my core.

"Tell me you love it." He pulled my hair as he ground into me harder and harder. I could feel the cold wood of his desk against my bare chest.

"Ye-es. I love it." I moaned and bit my lip as I felt the pressure of both his hands on my hips. My hair fell over my shoulders as he continued to pound into me. I felt the skin on my lip break as I bit down hard, trying not to make any sounds. Sounds were a definite no.

He flipped me over and pinned my back against the desk. Once more he moved his hips and ground deep into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he peppered kisses on my neck.

"Tell me you don't want me to stop." He order as he bit the sensitive skin of my neck. He knew it was a hot spot for me so he forced two fingers into my mouth to suck. He then licked my salty skin and then went down to do the same to my chest.

"Don't stop." I managed to muffle through his fingers. He was getting close now. I could tell. Whenever he was going to finish him always thrusted slower and he would bite into my shoulder. I was fine with biting as long as he left no marks. Marks were also a definite no.

"Oh God", he groaned. "Tell me you won't leave me ever."

"I. won't. leave." I could barely manage to get the words out. I was nearing my peak and so was he. Pretty soon this little moment would be over and reality would soon return. I would have to go back to being with my kids and being the perfect wife Aang imagined.

We became undone. There was no afterglow. No cuddling and no time to bask in the amazing sex that was just had. All that was left was shame, sweat, and sin.

It was time to get dressed, wash, rinse, and repeat like nothing ever happened. It was just any other day,

I looked at the clock. It was 3:09. We had had sex for 8 minutes and 45 seconds. It had been only 15 minutes since he had entered my home and soon after he was entering me and making me do things I never thought I would before.

I watched him dress and licked my lips. How was I ever going to stay away from him and stop this tangled web of lies I now called my life.

"I meant what I said. Every word of it. If you leave Katara, if you stay with him every night, I don't know if I'll be able to compose myself. Another man making you feel ecstasy is just something I can't stomach." And with that he left abruptly.

The room smelled like sweat and lies. Now my house was tainted and there was no going back after that.

I fixed myself upstairs and made sure to spray myself with the strongest perfume I own. Even still, I still smelled like him, I still tasted him on my lips.

Toph was judging me from the moment I went back downstairs. "Well didn't you spend a long time up there."

"It was only 15 minutes Toph."

"You and I both know that's more than enough time. You need to stop. Does he know about the baby you and your husband are expecting?"

"No Toph NO! I don't even know if I am pregnant."

"Well if you are what if it was Zuko's?"

"It's not. I mean, I'm not. It can't be his.

"You need to find out for sure. You need to stop this now." Leave it to Toph to carry a pregnancy test in her purse. She put it on table and just stared at me. I knew what it meant, but that didn't mean I was ready to know the truth.

~/~

I can remember the stupid things you used to say, all those catch-phrases, what did they all mean anyway? I found you annoying so often and you hurt me on purpose with that refined look of innocence you have. You pulled the wool over my eyes for years, telling tales of trauma and victimhood that never happened. I was the leading lady of all of your dramas until I glimpsed the curtains and the stage lights. I spotted the repetition of your themes, of your script. Really, you should have diversified more. But still you haunt me in ways I can never explain, never shake. I gave you my heart for free, but that shouldn't have made it worthless. It was priceless. There's a difference.

I was worth than this. I saw you holding her by the waist outside of your job. I saw you kiss her. Me and my stretch marks were yesterday's news. I am old and she is a fresh, new model. I smiled even though I know you lied to me about her every time you said you were working late. The hate didn't fester, it multiplied.

You act surprised to see me, probably because you genuinely are. I resented you as you embraced me after I tell you the news.

I was going to do it to make you happy. You wanted another baby. I didn't. I sacrificed. You didn't.

This was the price to pay for being a whore? This was the price for wanting to be happy? I still had his smell on me. Did he catch it? Did it hurt him? I hoped it burned like it burned to see you kissing her.

You think you know someone and then they change in an instance. You think you know yourself and you make one mistake that changes the fabric of your being.

"Oh Babe, I'm so happy. I've wanted another baby for so long. It'll be perfect."

He kisses me and I taste disgust. I cursed him. I cursed his happiness and the child growing in my womb , hoping it was by another man to spite him.

Nothing was ever perfect to begin with. No, nothing in this world is perfect. Even Zeus had flaws. Even gods bow down to fate.

This was all fate perhaps. This was all to teach me a lesson.

~/~

I sit in the bath water and soak for an hour. I sink down into the water and I almost wanted to drown. I had been drowning for so long, I was used to living with no air in my lungs.

Everything was a mistake. Everything needed to be fixed then it would all be okay. I could forgive him and we can be happy if I just atone.

The ringer tone was heavy in my air as I waited. He answers the phone and my heart sinks. I wished he didn't.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"What's wrong? You sound off."

"I'm pregnant Zuko."

I hear the slight excitement in his voice. This was not something to be celebrated.

"It's not yours Zuko. It can't be yours."

"What do you mean it's not mine? You certainly haven't been sleeping with Aang since I came along. What's wrong? Did he do something to you?"

But I wasn't sure if it was his or not. This was for the better though. It couldn't be his. It wouldn't be right.

"I mean it's not yours. What we have is over. I had a lapse of judgement but I'm going to remain with my husband."

He was hurt but I was hurting too. Someone else had to suffer along with me.

"Are you insane? You're carrying my child. You can't let him have everything. He can't have both of you. I won't let him."

"Good bye Zuko. Don't call me anymore. I'll be terminating my employment with you. I'll need more time for maternity leave anyway."

"Kat-"

Click. I hung up and I felt a huge lump in my chest.

I deserved this. I deserved all of it.

Author's Note: What do you think? Any predictions?