Happy Thanksgiving to those that are going to celebrate it this coming Thursday. Though, as far as I'm concerned, Thanksgiving translates well into the Harvest Festival according to Animal Crossing terminology. As such, the mayor will be playing his part in the holiday madness that ensures.

Sorceress of Shadows: Yeah, I felt a break was needed to sort of divert the story from its lofty objectives and prove that it can divulge from its intended routes from time to time. Think of it as the little spice in a soup that either makes you cough or lick your lips because shit that was some good soup.

Random Person: Shopkeeper interaction is something that will be played upon in the coming weeks as the number of villagers to introduce dwindles down. Fun fact, all of the villagers so far are villagers that I've interacted with in Animal Crossing, Wild World, and New Leaf. Not sure if anyone picked that up already or not, just a little tidbit to clarify whether or not my villager picks were random.

Remember, if you want me to keep this story up, make sure to leave a small review, or even a favorite would suffice. I'm sure thankful for all the flooding emails I get about all that stuff every day. It's perfection at its best.

Word Count: 809 words.


Req .12: Franklin's Roulade


"I hope you're happy with all this stuff, I had to give Drift my last perfect cherry for this fucking round mushroom."

Franklin lets out a gobble, he accepts the mushroom and double-checks to confirm if it's the one he's seeking.

A simple glimpse on his three-item list confirms the news.

Musical notes emerge from the turkey's usually gloomy head, "Alright, alright, splendid splendid! You've brought me all ingredients on the list! Now I can start cooking for the Harvest Festival, this will be a wonderful occasion! I'll finally be able to receive the ignorance I deserve!"

The turkey picks up a knife and fork, clinking them together in a joy. The mayor on the other hand, isn't as jovial, the man is still dumbfounded as to the reasons why he was sent on such a wild goose chase around town for a bunch of ingredients.

"Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you a turkey?"

"Why yes, yes I am! Most people happen to mistake me for a pheasant, but I assure you, this is not Europe, I am completely one-hundred percent- all gobble, all gizzard!"

The mayor can appreciate the positivity the turkey has to offer, especially since he has little to give back in return. Unfortunately, it's not an excuse for his befuddlement, "Uh, alright. But listen, turkeys get eaten during the Harvest Festival, why the hell are you cooking? You should be trying to get the hell out of here! I mean, if I were you, that's definitely what I would be doing!"

Franklin digs into his pockets as the mayor speaks, retrieving a few random pieces from the harvest furniture set, "Brilliant question, mayor! You see, back in the old days I was running all over towns like a wild runt, all because that darn tortoise tricked me every, single, year! Eventually I got tired of running and having to steal 'ol silverware from the townsfolk, silverware costs 'o lot of bells y'know! I felt guilty, so this year, I decided to try a new plan to get people from eating me!"

The mayor cocks his head, actually finding logic in his scheme, "And that plan...is to cook for the entire town?"

He gobbles eccentrically, pumping his fist in the air as he does so, "That's the plan! See, if 'ol Franklin cooks for Dicktown, then they'll all be so stuffed eating my cooking, that they won't want to eat me! It's just my little way of saying thanks to the community for uh...not eating me!"

The overworked mayor scratches the back of his neck, surprised that such a turkey-who's usually paranoid and skittish as all hell-could prepare such a magnificent feast, and concoct such a dastardly life-saving plot.

'Natural selection, always throwing the underdog a bone every once in a while...'

"Damn, I gotta admit, that's actually not that bad of an idea, and a real nice way of giving back to the people I kinda-don't-really care about. See, every time I try to do something for the Harvest Festival, no one really thanks me, they all just sort of indulge on what I give them and frankly it pisses me off. I mean, I give, and give, and give, and all they do is talk about their fucking dreams they had last night!"

Franklin takes a turkey baster and stabs it into the body of a whole hog, "I guess that just goes to show that the best way to someone's heart- is through their stomach!"

"Heh, yeah... I guess so."

"Gosh mayor, thanks for the assistance today! Ya see, when I came into town, I heard a few rumors you were a bit of a screwball..."

"Oh, is that so...?"

'To think this is actually one of the few people that I don't want to know about my dickery... Wait, is that even a fucking word?'

"Yeah, but I figured they were just yanking the 'ol Frank chain! Here, take this harvest furniture as thanks, they'll be festive sitting inside of your house and whatnot. Make it look spunky and cheerful, and ready for hog-devouring!"

The mayor is left speechless as the turkey hands over five pieces of furniture to him. It's certainly a well-appreciated sentiment, given the fact that no one bothers to give back for all the requests he fulfills and whatnot.

It's nice. So nice that he kind of smiles because damn, that turkey is fucking thoughtful. Someone give that skittish giblet-head a medal.

He's so thoughtful that's it contagious. So contagious and virulent that a little temporary spark of generosity takes over the mayor's cold and gloomy insides.

His heart grows two or three sizes bigger for a span of five minutes tops.

"You know what, turkey? Let me set that table up for you."

New World Policy Restricting Turkey Consumption: Approved.