Sorry for the delay, I just haven't been in the right mind space until now to write the way I wanted to. I hope as always that you find some enjoyment in this latest chapter. Thank you to each of you who have stuck with me and to those who have taken the time to send me such wonderful reviews. I truly appreciate it!


Bobby continues his work in silence. This whole thing is making him feel sick to his stomach. The only sound that seems to fill the air is the occasional sucking noise that escapes from Dean's hand as each fragment of glass is extracted from it. Bobby tries to be stoic. Tries to be pissed off. But finds he can't free himself from a permanent state of deep sadness. It's like he can almost feel the heartbreak radiate outward from Dean's body. He wonders how he is going to snap the younger man out from underneath the shadow of the darkest of clouds, the one that seems to constantly hover right above him.

As much as it is going to hurt both of them, Bobby knows he has to make Dean face the fact that Sam is gone. And somehow he has to convince him that it was Sam's choice in the end. He made the sacrifice for his brother, hell, for every single person on the globe. He needs to force him to talk about it before it destroys him.

Dean is going to be in a world of physical pain when he comes to and the older man thinks that may just be his edge, his opportunity to get the boy to talk. He won't be in any condition to make a run for it and will pretty much be a captive audience. Bobby doesn't want to get upset with him, doesn't want to yell and scream and curse and throttle him, but, at the end of the day he knows what he saw. Dean, the man laid out on his couch, was determined to kill himself. And that is something that Bobby can not and will not allow. So, time to play the old cruel to be kind routine. The bad cop, badder cop routine.


Okay. Something is definitely not right. Dean's first conscious thought is interrupted as a flurry of pulsating pain shoots through him. Through his head. Through his... arm? He fights the pull of sleep as it clouds over him again, he needs to know what the hell he has gotten himself into. He blinks slowly and needs to shut his eyes to fight a wave of dizziness as it attacks his senses. He feels weak. And sore. And confused. After another moment he tries his eyeballs again and although he can tell that it would be a bad idea to actually try and move he does manage to roll his eyes around his surroundings. Huh. Bobby's. But he doesn't get it. What the hell would he be doing at Bobby's and where is the old man? Oh.

"Morning Sunshine, decided to grace us with your presence have you?"

Dean can tell. He knows the older hunter well enough to instantly detect a less than friendly greeting and the sarcasm that is dripping off of his words sends his defenses into overdrive. Okay, what did Dean do to get this kind of welcome committee? He keeps a dazed look at the other man for a second or two and then scans his own body to try and figure out why he feels like something the cat, or some other mangy animal has dragged in. Hmm. That would explain it. His right hand is bandaged to the hilt and he can't even move a fingertip without being rewarded with a cascade of pain to rip through him. What the hell happened?

"Yeah, hurts like a bitch I bet. It took yours truly quite a while to patch up your sorry ass. Who knows if you'll ever be able to fire a damn gun again. Idiot. And c'mon, do you have any idea how much the mirror in my bathroom cost?"

What? Okay, Dean is totally lost. What the hell is wrong with Bobby, why the hell is he talking about his stupid bathroom... shit. Dean closes his eyes and seems to transport himself back into that damn bathroom. The mirror. Him. He could see his face stare out across from Hell itself and laugh at the state his true self was in. Because. Oh God. Sam. Sammy.

His breath picks up, his limbs start to shake and he can't displace the image in his mind. Over and over again he sees his brother dive into the pit while he just sat there and watched. He didn't even try to stop it. What kind of a piece of crap brother just lets someone he loves walk into Hell like he was going out for a burger? What kind of slimy bastard does that? Quicker and quicker his breaths become and he feels a surge of dizziness well up inside him again. No. Please God. Let this be some kind of bad dream.

"NO! SAMMY!" His eyes shoot open and he finds himself eye to eye with his friend. The look in Bobby's eyes, the shimmer of tears that reside within them, tells him what he doesn't want to know. It did happen and Sam is truly gone. And Dean is left to face this shitty world on his own. No, not going to happen. He pushes himself up to his elbows and starts to swing his legs to the floor when he is met by an incredibly firm hand on his chest.

"Oh no you don't boy! You are not going anywhere. You damn near bled to death just a few hours ago and the hell if I am going to let you just go off somewhere to kill yourself. No damn way! Just settle yourself back down or so help me Dean, I will clobber you so you can't move!"

"Bobby, just..."

"No! You are going to listen to me for a change damn it! And, let me start by saying this. And listen closely Dean. I know for a fact that you are not fine. I know for a fact that you were ready and willing to slice your own damn throat. You know how? Because I was there! So, I also know for a fact that you are going to sit there and talk to me. And cry. And scream. And let it out. I ain't gonna go through another episode of 'Dean Gone Wild' so save it! Your bullshit does not work on me!"

"Bobby, I... I can't."

Bobby's heart pulls at the weakness he hears in Dean's voice. Once strong and steady it now comes out soft and timid. Not the Dean that he knows. But Bobby can not show his sympathy. Not yet. His face remains stern. His words will be gentle but he will not give in, will not cave. Dean needs to talk and he is going to do just that.

"Listen son. You have been through a terrible loss. You are hurt and wounded and lost and hopeless. Hell, so am I. But you have got to talk about this Dean. You can not keep it inside. Not this time. You tried to kill yourself so any alone time that you were hoping to get is now officially off the table. Consider it null and void."

Dean is so NOT going to discuss this. What's the point? He doesn't want to be saved. He doesn't want to come to terms with it. He can't. It's an impossibility. So, Bobby and Cas and God and Lucifer himself can all kiss his ass and save their breath. Dean Winchester does not want to be saved and no one can force him. As much as Bobby thinks he'll be able to fix it, he can't. No one can. He can feel himself heat up, his anger and rage rising to a level he doesn't think he can control. Why can't people just leave him alone, to wallow, to deal with his misery the way he wants to, the way he deserves to. Are they never, ever going to understand that all of this is his fault? All of it!

"Dean? Calm yourself down, you are hyperventilating. Even the breaths out son, just focus on me. On my voice."

"What the hell for Bobby? What exactly can YOU do? So what, I screwed up, it's unfortunate I know but I guess I am still here. Can't even do that right can I? What a pathetic loser."

Bobby is shocked. This young man obviously doesn't give a shit anymore what spews out of his mouth. He pretty much just confirmed the fact that he is disappointed that he survived. That he wasn't able to finish himself off.

"Just what in the hell is there to talk about? Huh? Tell me that! What good will talking do! At the end of this pathetic therapy session you think you are going to perform on me just what difference is it going to make! Will all this talk bring Sam back! NO! It doesn't change the fact now does it!"

"Dean, you need to calm down. Please." Bobby can tell. Dean did not hear him. He is trapped in his own head and the hatred just keeps pouring out of him without pause.

"I KILLED HIM! JUST LIKE I KILLED DAD! JUST LIKE I KILLED EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS COME IN CONTACT WITH ME! IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT OF YOUR LIFE BOBBY THEN YOU WILL DIE TOO! DON'T ANY OF YOU GET IT? I AM NOT WORTH IT!"

And with that Dean uses whatever strength he can muster to push Bobby away with his good arm and attempt to stand. The world spins and slants and he curses himself and his weak body as it betrays him. And, above all else, he hates the fact that once again Bobby is forced to come to the rescue as he saves him from crashing onto the floor in a heap. The older man turns him so they stand face to face. He looks down on the floor and just wants to get swallowed up by it.

"You are worth it Dean. And you will be saved. So just accept it. You are not alone, as much as you want to be. Whether you like it or not, I am not going to let you go son."

Dean feels a burn in his eyes. Shit. Tears. He can't cave into it. Bobby doesn't know what he is doing. He has been clouded by some sense of duty, of loyalty to John Winchester to look after his boys. He has done his job, has been the best of friends and a wonderful mentor to him and Sam but his duty ends now. "Yes, you are Bobby. Let me go."

Dean feels himself forced into the ultimate awkward man hug and tries with very little success to free himself.

Bobby doesn't say another word.

"You can't force me to stay here Bobby!"

Bobby just waits for the inevitable. For Dean's wall to crumble just enough. He keeps his grip around him and can hear the young man's voice start to crack under the weight of his pain.

"I...don't need you Bobby! I...I don't...need anyone..."

Bobby remains silent. And waits.

"Just.. please...let... me go..."

Bobby feels it in an instant. The actual moment that cracks in the virtually impenetrable wall appear. Dean's body sags against him and Bobby feels him shake beneath his grasp. But this time it is not from anger. Or hate. But of pure, unshielded grief.

Bobby remains silent. He keeps inside the words he so badly wants to say for fear that it will ruin this breakthrough moment.

That's it son. Let it out. Share some of your pain. I am here. You are not alone.


TBC.. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear what you think! :)