*All characters belong to Kiera Cass*
Chapter 12
Maxon reacted first, pulling me off of the bed with him. I grabbed my dress and pulled it over my head as he put on his shirt. Not bothering to button it up, he took hold of my hand.
"Wait," I stopped dead in my tracks. "May."
He frowned, "I'll go find her, you have to get to safety."
"No, Maxon."
"Yes," he insisted as he dragged me to the hidden door.
"You can't do that," I begged him. "Please, don't go out there."
He kissed the top of my forehead, "I'll be okay. I know this palace better than anyone. I promise to make sure she's safe."
"Maxon-"
He closed the door, leaving me standing there in the dimly lit passageway. I put my head against the closed door, listening. It was foolish, as everything was sound proof. Running my fingers through my tangled hair, I collapsed on the stone staircase. My breathing was ragged. May and Maxon were out there, in danger. What if they-
I stopped the thought from happening. They'd be alright, everything would be alright. Wiping away the tears that I hadn't realized I had shed, I stood up on my shaky legs and made my way to the safe room.
It was empty. The space had cots and the seating area for the King and Queen. I remembered them being down here, as well as the other girls in the Selection. All of us together. Now was so different. The thing that frustrated me the most was not knowing what was going on, who was safe and who wasn't. I paced the room, unable to sit or stand still. I was sure that I looked a mess, but I didn't have it in me care at that moment. Not at all.
Where would May have been during the alarm?
Giving Maxon and me space, I thought.
But she could have been anywhere whether it was in a hallway or inside the women's room. Maybe she'd wandered off. I felt guilt, leaving her alone. My mind was racing and I couldn't do a single thing to help.
Time ticked by. It got to a point where my feet were hurting from walking on the hard floor. I decided to sit, rubbing the soles of my bare feet. If Maxon had gotten to her, he would have pulled her into the nearest safe room. I'd hope that he would think of himself too, and go in with her. That was why I was still alone, I decided. They were in another safe room, trapped inside just like me.
Eventually, I had to lay down. As I stared up at the arched ceiling I placed my hand over my stomach. I guess I wasn't really alone down here. The baby was with me, even though it was probably only the size of a grain of rice. I should have told Maxon. I shouldn't have let him risk his life without knowing.
Turning over, I held my stomach tight. Tears started coming out of me again, as thoughts of never seeing Maxon again invaded my mind. Maxon, May, Aspen, Anne, Lucy, Mary, everyone. I knew I was thinking the worst of the situation, but I'd witnessed so much death lately that it seemed as though it was expected.
I wasn't sure how long I cried before my eyes were all out of tears. Eventually, though, I heard footsteps coming down the staircase. I sat up, wiping my face. As soon as my eyes landed on the guard, I raced towards him.
"Aspen!" I cried, pulling him close. He returned the hug and held me.
"Mer, I wasn't sure if anyone was down here. I wasn't sure if you were safe," he said into my hair.
I pulled away. "I'm fine. What about everyone else?"
He shook his head. "I don't know. I was on this side of the building when the alarms went off. I was searching for you when I got sidetracked by a couple of Southern scum."
"Are you hurt?" I looked him over, panicked for a second.
"No," he told me. "My steal leg actually saved me. One of them shot me, hit the thing. They got distracted by the fact that I didn't even flinch. So I got them both, knocked them out and tied them up. They're in the cells now, Caleb took them away when everything was over. I came to search the safe rooms."
"We have to find the others, May was out there. I have to make sure she's safe and Maxon too," I started to walk past him, up the stairs.
My room seemed to be untouched. The messy bed was a reminder of what occured before the alarms. If I hadn't been so worried about May and Maxon, it would have made me blush since Aspen was there. But I went out of my room, right past it.
"The safe rooms are still being searched," Aspen told me. "If we don't see them, it could be because they are in there."
"Alright," I replied. I didn't like how he used the word 'could' like it was only one of several possibilities. We headed down the stairs, seeing guards at the bottom.
"Lady America," they looked relieved to see me. "Thank goodness you're alright."
"Where is everyone else?" I asked, needing to know.
"Ames!" May's voice came from around the corner. Her small form soon came into view. She was running towards me, enveloping me in a warm hug. "You're okay!"
I pulled back, looking her over. "What happened?"
"Kriss found me on my way back to the women's room," she explained. "She insisted on us going to see a part in the library, she wanted me to read a book she liked or something. And I wanted to give you and Maxon some space," she lowered her voice at that last part. "When the alarms went off, she took me to the safe room that was in the library. Apparently the rebels never even made it there. They were on your side of the palace the whole time."
"So Maxon never found you?" I asked her. Although I was happy that she was alright, knowing I had to thank Kriss later, I also wanted to make sure Maxon was safe and alive.
She shook her head, "I never even saw him."
"Oh no," I felt sick to my stomach. "I'm going to go look for him, you stay here."
"Ames," she called for me, but I was quick as I made my way through the foyer and back up the staircase. Aspen had said that the guards were still searching safe rooms. I'd help them. I'd do whatever I could to find Maxon.
"Excuse me," I went up to a group of them. They were in a room, talking. "King Maxon, has he been found?"
They looked at one another, one of them answering no. I told them that he was with me during the alarm and that he went down my hallway. With a plan in mind, we went as a group towards the few safe rooms that were in that area. Some guards had already looked in a few by the time we arrived. They were opening up another safe room as we got there, but I soon saw that it was empty.
"There are three more on this level," one of them told me.
We went to the first and found two maids sitting on the floor. Both of them looked relieved to see us. They were familiar, probably assigned to another girl from the Selection back then. I wanted to keep moving, but their words stopped me.
"King Maxon," the dark haired one was talking to the guard. I stepped towards them, listening closely. "He ran into us and pulled us into the room. We told him to stay too, but he just left."
"Which way did he go?" The guard asked.
They pointed left, the way we just came. My mouth became dry.
A guard escorted the maids away. The guards that remained decided to split up. One group went to check the other two safe rooms. The one I joined was doing a sweep of the bedrooms to make sure Maxon wasn't in any of them.
"Lady America, you should go rest with the others," the one guard told me. His name plates read Lucas Elme.
"I want to help," I told him. I didn't mention that I couldn't just sit around and do nothing while Maxon was in danger. I was too worried.
Lucas nodded, as two guards entered one room, he and I entered another. This went on, us searching and coming back empty handed. Most of the rooms looked untouched. We were near the end, and as I went in the last room my heart sank. He wasn't there. We looked under the bed, behind curtains, and so on. Like the other rooms.
We came out, hoping the other guards had better luck. When they emerged, however, there faces showed that they too didn't located him. As we waited for the other guards to come back from checking the safe rooms, I could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was worried. If Maxon came this way, then where was he?
My eyes were trained on the end of the hallway, watching the corner where the guards would emerge from. Time seemed to move slowly, no one making a sound. As footsteps grew louder, we all tensed. I stepped forward, not breathing.
That was when I saw him. Maxon was walking with the other guards. He was with them. He was okay.
A weird sound came out of me as I breathed a sigh of relief. Maxon's eyes darted up and looked directly at me. The look on his face was a mixture of happiness and relief as he came towards me and the other guards. At that moment, I didn't care who saw. I flung my arms around him, holding him close to me.
"I thought you were dead or kidnapped or-"
"Shhh," Maxon wrapped his arms around me. "I'm alright."
I pulled back, keeping my hands on his shoulders. "What happened to you?"
His hands slipped from my back, as his eyes looked around at the guards. I stepped back, realizing we looked way to intimate.
"I left you and went find your sister," he explained. "I came across two maids and helped them to safety first. When I went towards the staircase, I heard the Southern rebels coming up, though. So I went back, to another safe room I knew." He paused, looking down, "I'm sorry, America. I couldn't get to May."
"May's fine Maxon," I told him. His chin lifted. "She was with Kriss, I guess. And they went in a safe room together in the library."
"Why were they all the way over there?" He asked, confused.
I shrugged, "She wanted to show May a book or something. But the rebels didn't go over to that wing of the palace, so she was safe at least. They both were."
"Actually," Lucas spoke up. "The reason we were able to defeat the rebels so quickly was because they only targeted this specific area of the palace, your majesty. As soon as enough guards came, they fled."
"But why?" I asked. If they wanted the King dead or even Kriss, they couldn't have known he was over here. It would have made more sense for them to attack his office or bedroom.
"This is just a thought," Lucas said, hesitating to answer. "But the past two attacks have mainly been focused on this wing. Last time, only a few were caught elsewhere. I feel as though the Southern rebels have been attacking here because of you, Lady America."
I frowned, "But that makes no sense. They want to take over Illea, so why would they choose to go after me? I'm only an advisor to Maxon."
"Because you give all of the people who don't support them hope," Maxon looked thoughtful. "We have to come up with a plan to keep you safe, America. I think Mr. Elme is right."
My gut was telling me there was more to the story, but I couldn't quite figure it out. With all that has been happening lately, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. We made our way back to everyone else, who had gathered in the foyer. May came to us, immediately pulling both Maxon and I into a hug.
I could see that her affection startled him, but he soon had an arm around her, returning the hug.
"We were all worried," May explained. Every face in the crowd was looking over at us. Mary, Lucy, Marlee, and Anne were part of them. Everyone seemed relieved the Maxon and I were safe. I was happy that they were safe too, but one face was missing.
"Where's Kriss?" I asked no one in particular.
May answered, "She left me as soon as the guards came and released us from the safe room in the library. I don't know where she went. She said something about needing space."
Maxon frowned, confusion written all over him. "She should be here," he murmured. I could see the wheels turning in his head, wondering where she was and why she chose not to come here. Maybe she was mad at him and I for leaving together earlier. She must have known that, with May being with her, Maxon and I were alone.
Thoughts of earlier, when Maxon and I were in my room flashed before my eyes. I knew I should feel guilty and like I just betrayed Kriss's trust. But even though I knew it, I didn't feel it in the least. His lips on mine, the way his touch sent sparks of energy up my spine, and every caress we shared. All of it made me only want him more. He'd told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too. I wanted to be with him and it was as simple as that. No guilt, just honesty.
I glanced his way and saw he was listening to a guard going over the attack. Maxon's hair was messier than his normal neat look, probably because of me and my wandering hands from earlier. As he listened to the guard, my eyes roamed over his body. He'd done up the buttons on his shirt, allowing me to admire his muscular arms. I could imagine his sculpted chest, as well, underneath his shirt.
"You're drooling," May whispered, interrupting my thoughts.
"What?" I asked, rubbing the back of my hand over my mouth. "I am not."
She giggled, "I guess leaving you two alone was the right decision on my part?"
I sighed, choosing not to answer her. If I were being honest, it only complicated things more. I loved Maxon and he loved me. But, he chose Kriss. So did that mean that he loved her too? Loved her more than me? Why would he do what we just did if that were the case? Maxon and I seriously needed to talk. Sooner rather than later.
Maxon came over and joined May and I. "We've discussed it and we want you to stay near my room," he was looking at me when he said it. Then he turned to May, "We think that with the palace being attacked so often lately, that you should fly home on our private jet. Tonight, if possible."
"What?" May was about to argue, but I stopped her with my words.
"Maxon's right, May." She looked hurt, but I kept going, "I can't have what almost happened tonight happen again. If you got hurt or worse, I couldn't live with myself."
"But what about you?" She pouted, "Maybe you should come with me." Her eyes fell briefly to my stomach.
I smiled, squeezing her shoulder. "I need to be here, it's my job. Plus, if the rebels are truly after me, then going home with you would kind of defeat the purpose of sending you away."
"And I promise to protect your sister, no matter what," Maxon assured her.
She sighed, "Alright. I'll go. Can I talk to my sister alone please?"
Maxon nodded. "I should find Kriss."
It felt like someone stabbed me in the stomach when he said that. I think he registered the hurt on my face as he quickly added, "Then I'll come back and see you to your new room."
He left us and May pulled me to the corner of the foyer, away from everyone else. She talked in a low voice, "Ames, are you sure you want me to leave you? With everything going on, I'm worried about you. And the you-know-what."
"And I can't have you getting hurt because of me, May. Besides, mom needs you too. I'm sure she's missing you like crazy. And you must be missing her and everyone else. I promise to call you if things get out of hand," I pulled her in for a brief, but firm hug. "And as for the baby, I realize that I need to tell Maxon. Soon."
She nodded, "I think that's the right decision, Ames. And please, don't do anything stupid like getting yourself killed while your here."
"I won't."
"You better not."
May left about half an hour later, on the palace's private jet. As everyone started clearing the room, Lucy and Aspen came over to check on me.
"How are you holding up?" Aspen asked, his arm around Lucy.
"Alright," I answered. I kept an eye out for Maxon, who had not returned yet. I wondered if he had found Kriss.
"I was told that you're moving rooms," Lucy said. "We also heard why, and I think moving you is a good idea, Lady America."
"I'm not sure what to think," I admitted. "Everything seems like it's a big mess."
"A call for you, Lady America," I turned to the voice. A servant bowed to me, handing me the telephone.
"Thank you," I said, taking the phone. "Excuse me."
I went off to the side, taking the phone with me. The door at the front was too tempting, and with so many people busy at the moment, I chose to sneak out. Standing in the fresh air, I momentarily forgot that I had a phone call.
"Hello?" I answered, placing the phone to my ear.
"Lady America," Georgia's voice came through the other end. "We heard about the attack and wanted to make sure everyone was alright."
I peered out into the distance, seeing the scattered trees outside the front gates. "Everyone's fine," I finally answered. "You know how you wanted me to tell you if anything fishy was going on?"
"Yes," she answered immediately.
"It's odd," I started. I told her about the attack, not sparing any detail. When I finished, all I could hear was silence on the other end. "Are you still there?"
"Yes," she said. "We have a theory we are working on and what you just told me is making me more and more sure that our theory is correct. Which isn't a good thing."
I frowned. "Well, tell me. What's your theory?"
"I don't want to tell you, not till I've confirmed it. But please, if you can, keep an eye on Lady Kriss."
"Kriss?" I asked, checking to see if I heard her right.
"And please, don't say anything to King Maxon. We don't want him mistrusting us for thinking poorly of his fiance," she added. "I have to go talk with August about all of this. Oh, and we're coming to the palace at the end of the week for a short visit, to update you and King Maxon on everything that's been happening lately. We also have decided to place more Northerners near the palace for your protection."
"You have?" I asked. "Thank you."
"Don't sweat it," she muttered. "Anyways, stay safe. And we'll see each other soon."
She hung up just as the door opened, revealing me in my hiding place. Maxon's head popped out, looking around until he spotted me. He smiled, shaking his head.
"Only you would think it was a good idea to come outside right after an attack," he said as he came over to my side.
I shrugged, "It's nice to get fresh air. Plus, I don't foresee the rebels coming back right after an attack."
"True," he commented. "But I'd still feel better having you inside."
"Let's just spend one more minute out here," I suggested.
His eyes met mine and after a moment, he agreed. We both leaned against the wall in comfortable silence, gazing out into the night. I felt his hand brush mine, making me knees feel weak. It also must have made me feel bold since I placed my smaller hand in his larger one. My fingers intertwined with his.
I should do it now, I thought to myself. The moment was perfect, we were alone and there was no time like the present. The sooner he knew, the better. I turned my face to his, and saw him looking over at me.
"Maxon," I started. "I have something to tell you."
His eyes shifted to my mouth, "I already know."
He started to lean in, about to kiss me. "No! Not that!" I smacked his arm, causing him to jump back.
"Well, what is it?" He asked, rubbing his shoulder. "And why are you always so violent with me?"
I paced beside him, fidgeting with my dress. "I'm sorry," I muttered, nervous all of a sudden. What would he say? How would he react?
I chickened out, momentarily. "Did you find Kriss?"
He blinked, not expecting that question. "She was in the Princess suite, on a phone call. She hung up when I got there and explained that she wanted to talk with her family. To reassure them that she was safe."
The excuse seemed just like that. An excuse.
Knowing that Georgia wanted me to spy on Kriss made me more aware of how odd she'd been acting lately. Slapping me, for starters, was unlike her. And then the wishwash of her emotions were exhausting. Her taking May while she new Maxon and I were together was also very peculiar. I desperately wanted to know what Georgia was concerned about, her theory. If Kriss was somehow involved in something suspicious, then Maxon was surely going to get caught in the crossfire. She was his fiance, after all. Even though I currently did not want to think about that.
"Can you stop pacing back and forth? It's giving me a headache," Maxon asked, snapping me back to the present. "If this is about us and what happened tonight, I want you to know that I don't regret it. Even after your letter, I don't regret anything that happened between us America. I know you don't want to marry me, but-"
"What?" I halted, facing him in shock. "What are you talking about? And what letter?" All thoughts of Kriss and Georgia suddenly vanished from my mind.
"The letter you gave me the morning you left to Dominica," he said slowly. "When you told me that you didn't want to marry me, that you wanted me to be with Kriss."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Maxon. I never sent you a letter. I would never say that to you. I want to marry you. I wanted to marry then. You're the one who chose Kriss over me."
He stepped forward, moving closer to me. "No, you're the one who left a letter for me on my bed the morning after the attack. I still have it, in my room."
"I did not write you a letter," I told him, emphasizing the word not.
"Come with me," he ordered, moving to hold the door open. "I'll show you."
"I still have something I should tell you," I told him. "But I want to see this letter first."
We moved through the emptying foyer, people curtsying and bowing as we walked by. I was too focused on getting to Maxon's room, however, to pay attention to them. I never wrote him a letter, yet he seemed to insist that I had.
We entered the room, it all looking familiar. He still had the same photographs on his wall. Maxon moved to the desk, opening a drawer. I stood beside him, watching as he opened a false bottom and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Before he closed the drawer, I noticed two gold wedding rings sitting on a small, velvet pillow. They must have been his parents.
"Here it is," he announced, unfolding the letter and handing it over. The paper looked worn, he must have read it more than once. Probably a few dozen times from the looks of it.
We moved to his bed and both took a seat on it. The letter didn't look familiar, but the handwriting was very close to mine. Whoever wrote it, seemed to want to make sure it matched my writing.
I read aloud,
Dearest Maxon,
I cannot go through with this. I cannot marry you. I'm so sorry, words cannot express how sorry I truly am.
First, I need to explain. My mother and I had a talk when I went home. She told me that my father, although he liked you, did not want me to get married to you. He thought we came from two different worlds and it wouldn't be a good fit. That it wouldn't last. That I wouldn't be happy.
As you are aware, my father meant the world to me. When I returned to the palace, I tried to push down his words and continue loving you. Then, everything with Aspen happened and you treated me so poorly. I figured that maybe this was all meant to be, that my father was looking out for me, even after his death, telling me to honor his wishes and not marry you.
Then you changed your mind yesterday during the attack. And when I thought that you were dying, I felt the need to make you happy during your last breath. I said some untrue things, things that I thought a dying man should hear. But you're not dead, you are alive. And I cannot go on like this.
If I were to marry you, I'd go against my father's wishes. I think I did love you, maybe I still do. But I've made my decision, Maxon. Please, give Kriss the love she deserves. Try to make it work. I know you love her, maybe it's different, but I think you two can be happy together. The country likes her too.
Maxon, please don't make this harder by trying to convince me to stay. Please. With your parents gone now, I am sure you understand how important it is to make them proud, even after they've passed.
I hope you can understand, or try to, at least. I know we spent that night together and it was a night that I could never forget. I also know that both of us will recover from this. You will have a life full of love, with Kriss. You'll have children together, grow old together. I hope we can remain friends, but I understand if you don't want to.
Again, I am so sorry. I am sorry that I gave you hope when I shouldn't have.
With love,
America
"This wasn't me," I told him. "I swear, I never wrote this."
"That's impossible, the handwriting is yours. I compared it to your Selection papers. And you wrote about things that no one else would know. You wrote about that night," he pointed it out on the letter, knowing exactly where it was. "No one else knows about it. I haven't told anyone."
"Well, neither have I," I backtracked. "Except I told May, but just this weekend."
"You told her?" He asked, looking shocked.
I shrugged, feeling guilty for betraying his trust. "I did. I told her."
"Why? You know as well as I do that what we did was against the law, America."
"Well you kind of rule over the country, so aren't you like, above the law?" He gave me a look. I went on, ignoring it, "And besides, it's not like you were thinking about the law that night. Or two hours ago, for that matter."
"We didn't do anything two hours ago," he shot back. "And it takes two."
I sighed. "Well it doesn't matter. I did not write that note, so someone else obviously knows somehow. May doesn't have the power to travel back in time, learn my handwriting, and create this note. May also wouldn't tell anyone or do something like this."
"She's a fourteen year old girl, America. I've seen her reading those magazines, too. The tabloids."
"What are you saying? That she would sell me out, her own sister, to give a story to earn a few extra bucks?" My blood was boiling. "And like I said before, it's impossible. She didn't know until this weekend."
"Now that I said it, it does sound stupid," he confessed. "But you didn't have to tell her."
HIs words were making me frustrated, "Well I kind of did."
"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.
"I mean that with me currently being pregnant with your child and her being in the room when the doctor told me, I sort of had to explain everything."
It all just rushed out of my mouth, and the moment I finished speaking I realized what I had just done. With wide eyes, I looked up at Maxon. His face was paler than usual and his mouth was slightly opened in an O shape. Those brown eyes of his moved to my stomach.
"Maxon," I called his name. He didn't even register my voice. I lifted my hand to his jaw, tilting his face back up so I could read his eyes.
"You're...you're pregnant," He managed to get out, his eyes flicking between me and my stomach.
I scooched closer, "I know it's a shock, trust me, I get it. And I should have told you in a different way, but you were frustrating me and it all just sort of came out."
He didn't say a word. I waited, growing impatient. "So, what do you have to say?" The question hung in the air as my heart picked up. "Maxon?"
